Keith Moon

Like it says, the missus is on about not coming, i am going defo, but we might split, she cannot talk about Oz without breaking out in a sweat, me if i think of staying i go white? Do not know what to do, no kids, not married but been together 11 and a bit years, gonna miss the old girl, but there you go!

Tough one, have to admit, i am the wild one, she thought she could do it, but its like walking on glass round our pad at the moment, she has stopped talking about the word, Oz, just hope the fully grown Shiela's over there are ready and available?

Sally Simpson

Could you perhaps suggest that she come out for an extended holiday initially rather than moving lock stock & barrel? It might take the pressure off?
It is a very stressful time, changing jobs, moving house & country & saying goodbye to everything that is safe & familiar & it sounds very much as though this is your dream & not hers! You could try a little more compassion!

sj oldfield

Tough one, have to admit, i am the wild one, she thought she could do it, but its like walking on glass round our pad at the moment, she has stopped talking about the word, Oz, just hope the fully grown Shiela's over there are ready and available?[/QUOTE]

It sounds as if your wife is petrified of the move.................think you need to sit down and have a really good talk!!!

quoll

Poor woman. To know that you play second fiddle to a country is definitely not a good feeling. Remember that one man's dream is another man's nightmare. I am sorry that your relationship means so little to you.

Sally Simpson

One can only hope that his flippancy is masking some deeper feelings!

daunted

could maybe do with having a chat with Jazzys

Sally Simpson

Or a look at this to start with: http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=457997

Post 55 is particularly good advice!

Keith Moon

Well, i knew it would end up a girls only thead, with me the big bad monster.

Huh, could show me a little compassion hey? Anyway thanks for the girly angle, by the way how you do'in Daunted, had my eye on you for a while, but glad to see you have gotten yourself a nice new bloke, sounds good, was like watching Corrie following your trip out there?

I will keep you all informed, not mentioned Oz today, but the sun is shining, so it reminds me of Oz, i am so excited, its gonna be an interesting few months.

Sally Simpson

I think the tone of your original post may have been your undoing!

Have a read of Jazzys thread, it may help!

daunted

cheers! (i think!)
wasnt a girlie slant from me - just reminded me of me ole mate Jazzys experience

Cheetah7

Its hard when both of you want different things, you have your heart set on a life in Australia and she is panicking about that new life.

One of you will have to compromise and one of you will feel equal panic/terror/frustration and resentment - depending on who makes that compromise.

Perhaps there are relationship issues here that go deeper than emigrating.

If I were you I would do some serious talking with perhaps a relationship counseller to find out where you both see the relationship heading, your original expectations of it and how you see each other now.

The fact you feel 'excited' at the thought of a new life indicates things were not rosy in the garden to begin with and that is nothing to feel bad about.

But at least try and communicate one way or another - through a counsellor/friend/mediator before you allow this relationship to end.

Then if this cannot be sorted, at least when you do make the move to Australia, you know you won't wake up one morning in this hot and sunny country, and find it strangely cold because you realise that you are without the one person who knew you best, the one person that you loved (perhaps still love?) and that you let her go and swapped her for a country that can be remarkably hostile when you are feeling homesick/lonely and no amount of sun/heat/surf can trade that in.

Good luck mate, horrible situation to be in and I hope everything works out for you.

Keith Moon

Fantastic post, i lark about i know, but a diamond of a reply, you know what, i agree with what you say, but through the disagreeing and arguing, you never seem to come up with an answer, either though you feel shattered at the end.

Thanks, i really mean thanks very much, stay lucky.

DunRoaminTheUK

It appears to me that you are already mentally moving ahead with your new single life and the physical aspect of actually doing it is merely a formality?

It also appears to me that you don't seem to really love your "missus" very much (if at all) because the ease and flippancy with which you describe your situation seems to indicate exactly that?

Keith Moon

That's funny that is, made me smile this morning, was not intending to upset anyone, its just i am a bit of a clown, just me, never grown up?

Karma winging its way over to you as i write!

trehere

You sound like a fun guy and I am sure you will love Oz!
When I moved to Australia with my partner it was him really that wanted to go, I've never really wanted to travel far afield. I also pretended it wasn't happening and the 'A' word was not brought up until about 2 weeks before we had to make a decision and we had a long long chat.
In the end we decided to go for a few years, try it out and come back whenever either of us was ready. As I said before, it was my partners dream and he was prepared to give it up but that would of got us no where other than in 10 / 20 years time wondering 'what if...'
Of course, you then have to get past those first few month when it is likely your partner will be homesick, unsettled and trying to make friends etc. but if you can get past that you won't look back, its an amazing place to live.
Good luck, I hope you can work out a compromise as 11 years is a long time but you deserve to try your dreams also.