Alice Springs Summer - Is this what its really like?
Feb 1st 2006, 2:32 am
#1
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Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Bay of Plenty, NZ
Posts: 191
Alice Springs Summer - Is this what its really like?
Had this passed on to me today and find it quite amusing. How accurate a description is it?
Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice
Springs!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love
it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3
days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant f***in blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this
stupid f***in place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to f***in throttle him. F***in heat! By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin f***in wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my f***in arse was on
fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my
f***in arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked
cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a f***in recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and f***in sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn f***in place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into
the f***in pool. Even the palms can't live in this f***in heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse
out of jail for assulting the stupid f***er. F**k Alice Springs! What kind of a sick demented f***in idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f***in
>>>kiddin
Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice
Springs!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love
it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3
days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant f***in blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this
stupid f***in place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to f***in throttle him. F***in heat! By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin f***in wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my f***in arse was on
fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my
f***in arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked
cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a f***in recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and f***in sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn f***in place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into
the f***in pool. Even the palms can't live in this f***in heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse
out of jail for assulting the stupid f***er. F**k Alice Springs! What kind of a sick demented f***in idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f***in
>>>kiddin
Feb 1st 2006, 2:37 am
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 15,526
Re: Alice Springs Summer - Is this what its really like?
Originally Posted by Herm
Had this passed on to me today and find it quite amusing. How accurate a description is it?
Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice
Springs!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love
it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3
days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant f***in blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this
stupid f***in place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to f***in throttle him. F***in heat! By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin f***in wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my f***in arse was on
fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my
f***in arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked
cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a f***in recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and f***in sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn f***in place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into
the f***in pool. Even the palms can't live in this f***in heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse
out of jail for assulting the stupid f***er. F**k Alice Springs! What kind of a sick demented f***in idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f***in
>>>kiddin
Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice
Springs!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love
it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3
days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant f***in blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this
stupid f***in place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to f***in throttle him. F***in heat! By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin f***in wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my f***in arse was on
fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my
f***in arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked
cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a f***in recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and f***in sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn f***in place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into
the f***in pool. Even the palms can't live in this f***in heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse
out of jail for assulting the stupid f***er. F**k Alice Springs! What kind of a sick demented f***in idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f***in
>>>kiddin
Lets put it this way, After a few days in a row of above 36 degrees temps in Melbourne, road manners, seems to go out of the window.
I personally would be inclined to feel more like the person in the above article than enjoy it.
Feb 1st 2006, 2:45 am
#3
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Alice Springs Summer - Is this what its really like?
And I thought that was Brisbane or Mt Isa or Phoenix USA, etc etc 
Not sure the story really suits Alice Springs, I think those temps are considered cool over there
Not sure the story really suits Alice Springs, I think those temps are considered cool over there
Feb 1st 2006, 3:52 am
#4
too busy to work members
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: Tahmoor NSW - Southern Highlands
Posts: 1,385
Re: Alice Springs Summer - Is this what its really like?
Originally Posted by ABCDiamond
And I thought that was Brisbane or Mt Isa or Phoenix USA, etc etc
Not sure the story really suits Alice Springs, I think those temps are considered cool over there
Not sure the story really suits Alice Springs, I think those temps are considered cool over there
Obviously not really written by a Brit must be from some other country - we are all primed about the problems - don't believe it
Feb 1st 2006, 5:52 am
#5
Going for a ride
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Monbulk, Victoria.
Posts: 2,838
Re: Alice Springs Summer - Is this what its really like?
Originally Posted by Herm
Had this passed on to me today and find it quite amusing. How accurate a description is it?
Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice
Springs!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love
it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3
days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant f***in blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this
stupid f***in place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to f***in throttle him. F***in heat! By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin f***in wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my f***in arse was on
fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my
f***in arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked
cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a f***in recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and f***in sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn f***in place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into
the f***in pool. Even the palms can't live in this f***in heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse
out of jail for assulting the stupid f***er. F**k Alice Springs! What kind of a sick demented f***in idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f***in
>>>kiddin
Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice
Springs!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love
it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3
days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant f***in blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this
stupid f***in place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to f***in throttle him. F***in heat! By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin f***in wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my f***in arse was on
fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my
f***in arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked
cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a f***in recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and f***in sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn f***in place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into
the f***in pool. Even the palms can't live in this f***in heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse
out of jail for assulting the stupid f***er. F**k Alice Springs! What kind of a sick demented f***in idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f***in
>>>kiddin
DEAR DIARY..........
September 12, 1993 - Moved to our new home in Maine. It's so beautiful here. I love it !!
November 24, 1993 - It snowed last night! We woke up to find everything blanketed with snow. It looks just like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful day. I love it in Maine !!
December 2, 1993 - Well, all the snow melted. I hope we get some more.
December 12, 1993 - More snow last night! I love it! The snowplow did his trick again on our driveway.
December 19, 1993 - More snow. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from
shoveling. F***ing snowplow!
December 22, 1993 - More of the white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits till I'm done with the driveway. Asshole!
December 25, 1993 - Merry ****ing Christmas! More goddam snow! If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a- bitch who drives the snowplow, I swear I'll f***ing kill him.
December 27, 1993 - More white shit last night. Been inside for 3 days. Can't go anywhere. Car's stuck in a mountain of snow. The f***ing weatherman says to expect another 10" of the shit tonight. Do they know how many shovel-fulls that is?!
December 28, 1993 - The weatherman was wrong; we got 14" of the f***ing white shit and at this rate it won't melt 'till f***ing August. The goddam f***ing snowplow got stuck just up the street. The guy asked if he could borrow my shovel. I beat the shit out of him with it.....
