FiP

I would operate a 'triple pronged' attack.
The school should have its own written internal investigation and discipline procedure. Ask them for a copy in your complaint as it should give you resolution timelines.

Some complaints procedures state complaints should be addressed to the Headteacher and some to the Chair of Governors so I would send to both with a copy to the LEA. Realistically the LEA would seek to become involved after the school has performed its own investigation but it maybe worth giving them the heads up that you are serious about it.

Where, or even if you are moving is your own business unless you, and only you, decide to make it known to others.

This woman should lose her job in my opinion, she has no business working with confidential matters.

FrankandKaren

Losing your job over something trivial like this is not an environment that I would wish to work in. If the issue was with a parent discussing abuse in the home or another such serious matter, then I would express a different opinion.

Cheetah7

But to be honest it was not a professional thing to do, what happens in the school should stay in the school and is certainly not for her daughters ears. She had no right to tell her daughter, what is in the files of a child and his/her family is confidential and not the business of a receptionist/admin worker in a school to discuss out of that environment.

It is none of her business about Jen migrating - none at all and certainly not her place to blab.

Laights

Write to the Headteacher with a copy to the Chair of Governors.

As a past Chair of Governors I know that the school I was apart of would have taken a very dim view of this and the staff member would have been issued with a warning. Confidentiality is extremely important within a school and I would be very worried about what else she had talked to her daughter about.

Disclosing confidential information is not trivial whatever the information is.

Jensanco

Thank you

We have received a letter back from from the headteacher, saying they take this extremely seriously and are dealing with the member of staff involved.

Last time we moved house the boys were pestered for weeks about it, we had people coming up to us in the street, and we just moved to a bigger house within the village. So we wanted to avoid loads of hassle, we were also very up front and honest last time we emigrated and I got fed up being asked by acquaintances if they could come and stay for cheap holiday - errr yeah righto whatever

eddie007

IF it was the receptionist then its unprofessional of her.. iF she heard you were going to australua from YOU....

However.. Your children know... And children talk... You live in a small village and everyone knows your business...you're selling the house, you're selling bits and pieces, there's an Agatha Christie behind every twtitching lace curtain...

Get real... Based on the history you've disclosed here the whole village will be talking about it!!

I lived in a village like that .... It can get on yer nerves big time...

I'm not sure swearing children to secrecy and interrogating them is very healthy behaviour, espcially when it involves life changing things like moving to australia.... They arent baggage you carry around with you, they are people too, who have friends and need to be able to talk to their friends about their plans, hopes and fears for the future... This is major for them and its not fair to expect them not to tell anyone...


You arent escaping Nazi Germany across the Alps ffs....

NedKelly

Ve hav veys of making you talk!

Jensanco

Whatever you want to think Eddie cause obviously your always right and you know the whole story - - personally I thought everyone was different!

we only have until September to get out to Australia - selling a house in the UK we could have very well not got a buyer in time and had to move somewhere else within the UK.
Why tell everyone we were gonna emigrate? when it could have turned out we would just be relocating? we didn't know the answer and at the time it all came out we didn't have a buyer!

The attitude we had was we need to live life as if we're staying we have a buyer and contracts exchange!
The kids were in agreement and keeping it 'a secret' as such came from them, we were going to move back to Australia in 2010, house had sold, everyone knew! The kids were getting lots of grief from people at school then husbands brother passed away, and because of how it affected them and hubby we ended up panic buying a house here! They then got even more grief and were called liars for us not going!

This time they asked us at what point is it a certain and we said it's about 95% certain once contracts exchange.

The kids have known all the way along what stage we're at, the contracts are due to exchange in about 3 weeks, so right around when they go back to school after easter holidays if they want to say whats happening then it's up to them.
So damn us then for trying to ensure our kids got the least amount of crap at school thrown at them! And sod us for listening to their wishes!

The house went on the market in September, only was it after the woman was told 'we might be moving' and nothing else did it start to become public knowledge. The kids had no knowledge of the conversation I had with her until after I'd got them to ask the other kids at school who'd told them we were moving!

OF course husband was gonna question them initially when the cat was effectively let out of the bag, we never thought it would have come from a 3 minutes conversation I had with the secretary - i've worked in various pre-school and confidentiality is high on the list of priorities,
IF they had gone an told people they were told they'd made their own beds and would have to put up with all the grief at school!
But the people they were being interrogated by were people they don't really spend time with other than share a class with!
They were upset about it, they didn't want the grief and were unprepared to answer the questions, they told people they had no idea we were moving and would have to speak to us!

I've been on various forums and Jen isn't an uncommon name and if anyone wanted to snoop at the time it all came out there was nothing tying me to the village !

But yeah you're right we're terrible parents for wanting to prevent the kids from going through months of interrogation by other kids at school, for letting the kids decide how they wanted to handle it and for trying to protect hubby too as several people he works with are in the village!

When the daughter of the secretary admitted to my eldest son her mum had told her until that point we thought it might be her, and then backed up by someone who'd overheard her telling someone in the post office !!! but for us that was enough evidence for us to write the letter to the head.

An yes I am defensive and I will always be defensive about my kids and my husband - I don't like to see them upset and put in awkward positions, school life is hard enough without adding to it. An one of them had already been bullied on a weekly basis for having Dyslexia and ADD since moving to the school in September!

You can think I'm wrong, you can think I'm right, you can think and rant and rave about us being Nazi or whatever else you like - you don't know me

I love my children and husband, they can all be a pain in the bum but they are my pain in the bums and my world

Laights

Nice post Jen and I would have done exactly the same.

eddie007

PMFSL... Some one told you what they overheard her say in the post office


No one called you a nazi, It was said you arent escaping from nazi germany... Massive difference...

As for the rest... Glad to have given you a chance to get all that off your chest, hopefully you feel much better now

FrankandKaren

Then again, maybe people don't really care about the move that much. It's not going to turn the village upside down ya know.

OxOz

I'm a bit confused here.

The school receptionist was wrong to repeat anything but why all the secrecy? Why would anyone be interrogated? Emigrating is a positive life affirming move and not a secret (or have I missed something?)

NedKelly

Was it Good Cop / Bad Cop or just a slap with a rubber hose?

Bermudashorts

I expect, if the breach did come from this receptionist and there really is no way of knowing if that is the case, that it just didn't occur to her that it was a secret. Because why on earth should it be? The fact the house is up for sale would have told most people in the village that the family are moving.

I am sure this negativity is not healthy and it sounds more and more like a witch hunt. My advise would be to drop it, move on and try to focus on more positive aspects of the move.

itigo

For me, having worked in a school, it's not the content she blabbed that's important. It's the fact that she blabbed at all.

No, it isn't a huge deal that she allegedly told her daughter and someone else that Jen's family were moving but it makes you wonder what else she's talked about before which could be highly sensitive.

Maybe she is selective with what she deems fit for passing on, the issue is that she shouldn't be passing any of it on..............

Even as a parent helper at my daughter's school I had to sign a statement where I pledged not to talk about anything I saw in class with my child or other parents. Confidentiality is a must........