Stokesy

G'day folks!

have been reading some of the posts so thought I'd put down in words what's been going through my head recently. Sorry if I ramble but what the heck.

I am in the enviable (I would imagine) position of being married to an Australian. I met him over there whilst backpacking and we settled over here due to falling pregnant straight after wedding and because I had a flat here. Was easier initially for him to come here. Since then we have had another child, husband has indefinite leave to remain and we are about to start applying for his British passport.

I have been thinking a lot lately about where is the best place to briing the kids up. From my knowledge of Australia, having travelled to most of it, I would say Oz but then the grass is always greener isn't it. A lot of people on this site seem to despise the UK - I know a lot of it is crap but when you think of some of the countries in the world we could be living in, it isn't that bad. What is getting to me about the UK though is the masses of people everywhere, the houses all on top of each other, being able to hear my neighbours in their house just doing everyday stuff, social class distinctions, people with no sense of humour, having to work yourself into the ground just to afford a little box house etc. Do I sound irritated? I guess I am.

The other day I was staying at a family members house when I was asked what paper I read. I said I normally got the Daily Mail (please do not send me lots of hate mail) and a comment was made to the effect that I couldn't handle 'big' words. Just because I have a south east accent does not make me stupid, so I responded that I read it because I do not have time to read broadsheets with 2 small kids to look after and just need the basics of what is happening, where, when and why. ANyway, that is an example of class distinction. The person who said that was an 'in law' from a monied family as opposed to us working class types.

I have never felt as happy as I did when I was in Oz. I was there for best part of a year and in all that time, only had 1 cold - I felt so much happier and healthier. The sun has a large part to play in that. People in shops seem genuinely pleased to see you. Ok, so I know they probably don't really care that much but it puts you in a good mood. I was very taken aback when I first arrived in Sydney - I couldn't understand why people wanted to know how I was doing? The only place I didn't like was Katherine, Northern Territory - very rednecky and strange. Guess that's what the tropics do to you.

But then would it be the same if I went back? I wasn't married then or had kids and was in holiday mode. Am I remembering an ideal that probably wouldn't be the same again?

Then there's leaving family behind. Mother would be cut up, taking her only grandchildren away and I guess she might miss me too. I would miss them and all the support they provide. Although we have family over there, they are all spread out - a brother in Sydney, one in Brisbane, a sister in Darwin and husband's parents currently in WA but travel around fruit-picking in their retirement.

The other thing though and this is major point is that when the children are older they might want an Australian passport. And then what if husband and I split up (it's a reality these days though obviously not intending that). is it better to get my Oz passport now rather than later. Couldn't bear it if the children decided to live over there and I was stuck here - at least I would have the choice then. And is it better to go soon as we can whilst kids are still young (pre-school)? Don't know if I could bear all the dismantling of our lives here - selling stuff off, packing, shipping etc- would be a lot of stress but then what if I regret it later? I put off travelling for years, always coming up with an excuse not to until I got to 29 and my last chance for a working visa so I thought it's now or never. I cried at the airport and said I didn't want to go and was quite depressed for about a week in New York but then things picked up and I stood on the Empire State building and looked across New York and upstate and at all the twinkly lights and realised how vast the USA was and that after that I would keep going on to another vast place called Australia and how much in the world there was to explore and how enclosed my life had been so far, I felt this enormous sense of freedom. It was the best thing I have ever done and only wished I'd done it years before but then wouldn't have met husband and had the children I have so don't regret not going before too much.

Oh well, sorry to have rambled on but just needed to get that all off my chest. If anyone sympathises with this dilemma or has any useful advice to impart please do so!

All the best with your adventures everyone!

ub40fan

Hi

Someone else will probably give you lots of sensible advice, but here are my thoughts.

Why not apply for the spouse visa, go and have a look around, stay long enough to get your citizenship while your children are fairly young so it doesn't impact too much on their schooling and then decide.

That way you always have an option of where you can live, just as your husband will have when he gets his british citizenship. You are just expanding your options, 2/3 years is nothing in the great scheme of things and you will know one way or another.

These are only my thoughts, and it is probably a lot more involved but you only get one shot at life.

Shirley x

Stokesy

thanks Shirley, that was kinda what I was thinking. Better to have all the options under your belt now than regret later. Can always come back to the UK can't I? Do you know roughly how long it takes for spouse visas? or any visas just so I can get idea of processing time?

Cheers!

Pollyana

Like me, you are in the enviable - as you put it - position of being married to an Aussie, and as you have kids already you will almost certainly get PR straight away. Not long till citizenship, so I would go for it. While the kids are smaller its easier to move them, and if you don't try it you will never know.

Pollyana

You can go back whenever you want to - you can have dual UK/Aus citizenship. Spouse visas can be as quick as a week

Sleeping Beauty

I have been thinking a lot lately about where is the best place to briing the kids up. From my knowledge of Australia, having travelled to most of it, I would say Oz but then the grass is always greener isn't it. A lot of people on this site seem to despise the UK - I know a lot of it is crap but when you think of some of the countries in the world we could be living in, it isn't that bad. What is getting to me about the UK though is the masses of people everywhere, the houses all on top of each other, being able to hear my neighbours in their house just doing everyday stuff, social class distinctions, people with no sense of humour, having to work yourself into the ground just to afford a little box house etc. Do I sound irritated? I guess I am.


you are right, a lot of people on this site do despise the UK, BUT, an awful lot think along the same lines as yourself, us included. the UK is a good country, one of the best in the world.

i think the advice that shirley (UB40) gave, was spot on. so ditto to shirley really. you have got the opportunity, you only live once, so go for it!
xx

ub40fan

No wait for citizenship! That is brilliant, can it be quicker in other cases too. I know that if you join the Army you can get it a lot quicker. Reason I ask is over here Steve does a lot of work for the Government, in oz he would have to be a citizen and it looks like he will need to wait 2 years for this.

Shirley x

shiels

My OH is applying for citizenship, which should take 6-12 weeks, I will then apply for spouse visa which can apparently be as quick as a month! As for the kids citizenship they should get it straight away, rubber stamp job, providing the parent with citizenship has lived in OZ for at least 2 years, which your OH obviously has! Go for it, what have you got to lose?

mand8002

Yeah I agree with what the other posters have said. You should get you PR spouse visa straight away without having to do the two years on a temporary one first so as it stands at the moment you would have to live here for two years before you could get your citizenship. You then have the freedom to live in either country with no problems. You never know you might move to Australia and never want to go back, but you won't know unless you give it a go.

Pollyana

Not quite that! You do still have to wait the qualifying period (2, soon to be 3 years) but what the OP was asking was whether she could come back to the UK whenever she likes - the answer to that is yes, because Aus allows dual citizenship, once she has qualified for it she can come and go between the 2 countries as she likes.

Re working for the govt - depending on the State you go to he may be able to work for them at once. In Qld you can work for State Govt on a temp visa, in temp jobs, and get a perm job when you have PR. Only Federal jobs need citizenship. Check out the rules for the State you are heading for.

Stokesy

thanks guys for your advice - good to know there are people I can bounce ideas off.