minigmgoit

I moved to Melbourne 3 years ago (almost to the very day). With in an hour of getting off the plane I had begun thinking I had made the worst mistiake of my life. I moved out here with my English partner, something he has always wanted to do.

When we first got here I paniced about not liking it. We decided to give it 1 year, as you cant make an informed decision with out spending a decent amount of time actually 'living' and working in a place.
After the first year came the give it a second year chat for the same reason noted before. At this point I slipped in to a pretty heavy period of depression, was medicated and had a bit of a breakdown resulting in my loosing a job.
Spent some time chilling out and getting my self together, my partner is compleatly unable to understand what the problem is and continuosly harps on about how rubbish the UK is compared to Australia.
It is now better than before but not one day goes by when I dont miss the UK. When I see it on TV i have to turn over as it triggers off a multitude of feeligns. I'm a bit of a mess.

We are considering moving to northern nsw next year, I feel it maybe a good idea. I dont know though?

I just figured after 3 years you would have sorted it out enough to know what you want to do.
Erm
thats about it
I dont really know what I want as a reply or even what I'm asking. Just putting my thoughts out there I guess

freckles1970

I think it is always hard moving when it was not your dream to start with and in effect you are living the chosen life of someone else. Have you spoken to your partner about this recently?

There have actually been lots of similar posts on here, which just goes to show i guess that homesickness can really throw the best of us (might be worth searching for them as they may offer you reasurance, you may also find someone in the same boat as you who lives locally....friendships sometimes are the key thing to getting over homesickness)

I think after 3 years of giving it a shot however, it may be time to re think what you are doing, particularly if you feel it has made you ill. Perhaps some kind of counselling may be a good idea if your partner would be willing to go; this may help you both re evaluate the situation.....presumably his main priority is you rather than OZ, and if it is making you that unhappy you as a couple may have to think about moving back. If you are not the priority however, that is a very different story. Be strong and do the right thing for you.

Good luck

mark 'n' joe

Hi

Sorry you havnt settled too well, perhaps you should have a trip back to UK if you can afford to. It may not be how you remember it to be.

All the best

Joex

quercus

I've got to agree with Joe.

Go back for a trip, either on your own or together, and I'm pretty sure your feelings will become much clearer. I don't see you settling anywhere in Australia until you've confronted how you feel about 'home'. You may well find you feel completely different and can't wait to get back. Then you can move forward with your lives. You won't know until you go!

jce

in my experience that longing wont go away, even after a trip back home - that could make it worse!

I was born in South Africa and moved the the UK with my parents when i was 7 but not a day went by that i didnt think that i was in the wrong place. Its the worst feeling in the world - one that i felt for 30 years. I went back to SA for a holiday after 20 years (difficulty before was prospect of national service!) and as soon as the plane landed i felt relaxed, comfortable and "home". A return to SA just wasnt practical for many reasons so i stayed in the UK until last year. But that longing feeling and sadness just grew worse.

Moving to Oz was a dream of my partner, Jill, and i gave it a go - and love it here cause it, to me, gives me the sense of being in South Africa. No idea what it is but i finally feel comfortable living somewhere and feel "home"

It may be difficult given your family circumstances but can you live the way you are for the rest of your life? The grass isnt always greener but could being back in the UK be worse for you after your last 3 years?

Pipers Mummy

Maybe Melbourne is the problem????

I moved there first off and to be completely honest, hated the place. I was always desperate to 'go home' to the UK. It just wasn't me. I stayed there about 10 months before moving up the road to Brisbane. Couldn't be happier here I have to say. I have been back to the UK once in the last 3 years and had a great time but was happy to come back in Brisbane.

Maybe a move to a different area would be a good thing for you? We spent time in Brisbane before we made the decision to move and felt that it was a good place for us so it's worth taking the time to do that if you can.

Good luck

jad n rich

Your not a mess, your in the same situation as about half the people I have met here, one person ends up not really wanting to stay but unless your single that gives you a tough choice - your husband/wife/kids dont want to return so someone has to compromise, or get used to it, or put a time limit on it.

Try another area, try the trip back which unless you came from the Daily Mails worst suburb can be a challenge and make you see what your missing, then like many things in life you have to decide if you and the partner are destined for the same path in life

Its a lot more flipping complicated than the "if we dont like it we can always go back" stuff we all say before we come out here, especially if kids are involved and at least it sounds like you dont have that problem.