Kash

Hi

Feeling low and needed a chat. Came to Aus in Dec 03 and only managed 5 montths, returning April 04. Wasn't prepared for how leaving all that made me feel secure would make me feel, and I had left older kids and grand kids behind. My own feelings (guilt mainly) and Daughters devestation brought me back to uk. 2 bout of depression and 4 yrs later i returned to Aus by myself initially, OH trying to sell house but thats another story. My 17 year old Daughter Joined me last week and immiediately wanted to retun to UK, in love back in Brit. After many tears (mine and hers) I have booked her a flight back. (god knows if its the right thing) but my OH is due out on 2nd October so i hope it is. I am in a good job and loving the place.... house and car sale not happened...... no money....... and daughter returning to UK...... like i say hasnt gone to plan.......not sure what I should do?

thanks for listening......
Kath

medwaymark

Hi Kath,

Sorry to hear things are a bit tough at the moment.

I left two daughters (16 & 14) in the UK....it's hard. Tends to hit me most when I'm looking for a photo or something and see their faces smiling back at me

I think these days it is easier with cheap phone calls, email, sms & MSN to keep in touch.... although I do miss their cuddles.....

Anyway, hope things work out for you....

Mark

kiwinow

I have a horrible feeling that your post could be mine in a few months. My 17 yo is also in love and staying behind and although we'll do our best for him he could easily end up skint and unhappy. We also have to sell a house.

I think you have to add up the positives. If it doesn't work out for your daughter she is a big girl now and she will probably surprise you. If she wants to join you the cost of a fare is worth it for peace of mind. You have a great job! Do you like the weather and the lifestyle? Is OH happy to move? On the other hand, I know that the real estate situation isn't great in UK at the moment. If you need that money perhaps you need to set a date by which if you haven't sold you move back to UK. How does that make you feel? If you're not depressed at that idea maybe you shouldn't be selling. Just a few thoughts to help you along.

Scrawni 2

Aw mate, I feel for you and know just how you are feeling. This is the second time for us and like you our daughter has returned to the UK - just like before. She was also 17 last time.

Only you can decide what to do, it is tough and whatever you decide probably won't be easy.

I have sent you a pm.

Mandy

ropersathome

We are coming back out to Oz in Feb 09, after trying it in 07 we thought we had made a mistake,but coming back to UK was a bigger mistake so I would say stick with it,we all miss family members etc.

Olibeneli

I guess there are those that can and those that can't.....I mean be apart from their own flesh and blood for potentially years on end.

My boys need me as they enter their teens more than ever...I simply could not be with them. No mattre where I lived I'd be happy as long as I had a regular dose of cuddles from them and am involved with their life. One day I know they will leave home but the love and bond we share is so strong we will always be a close family.

Simply could not bear being apart and I don't understand how anyone could with children that are basically still dependents.

(My dad wil say I'll always be a dependent even at my old age)

Petals

Having two very dependent adult children I think its good that children get out from under as soon as possible and experience life on their own. It makes them much stronger and able to handle life.

I left home at 17 did not live near my parents did not care really just did what I wanted to do and it made me very independent.

I think children are on loan and once they grow up they have their own lives to lead and they marry people we may not like and do things we may not like but its their lives.

All we can do is be there to pick up the pieces if things go wrong just like parents have always done.

Think back to how you felt when you were young, knew it all.

Don't feel guilty once they grow our family shrinks again to the two of us and that is the way it should be.

Cannot guarantee children will stay close by these days as we live in a global village.

Good luck stick it out its all about what you and your husband/partners life too.