Hutch

I always liked reading these sorts of posts when I frequented these forums and so, in honour of my first trip back to the UK in nearly a decade, I thought I’d tell you what I found. Yes it's my opinion - it might differ from yours - apologies in advance if you have trouble dealing with that concept. Oh and hello to everyone.

1) Traffic. We’ve been over here for a month and I’ve got to see the traffic at all times of day in many different locations, from villages to cities. On balance it’s pretty awful, but not as dreadful as I’d been lead to believe. Friends and family warned us off travelling anywhere citing the awful traffic we’d encounter and the time it would take to get anywhere. The reality is that if you avoid rush-hour, it’s fine - same as anywhere else really. My father-in-law couldn’t believe we were going to drive from Haverhill to the Cotswolds and issued dire warnings about the roads - we travelled cross-country and it took a pleasant three hours. When we got to a particular location we used park-and-rides whenever possible. Living in Oz has made me very blasé about driving long distances - I think nothing of travelling two hours to take my son to a friend’s birthday party but over here that sort of travel’s seemingly only undertaken for holidays or to escape zombie holocausts.
2) The Roads. I might have gone soft but I cannot believe how narrow the roads are. The issue is compounded by the high levels of car ownership and the fact that every spare inch of tarmac has someone parked on it. Making your way through a suburban area is akin to a constant game of slalom as you weave in and out of pull-ins. Didn’t take me long to get back into the swing of things but it sucks seven shades of shit. The motorways are no worse than the ones I use on my way to Sydney - I made extensive use of Google Maps to avoid traffic jams and had no major dramas. Even with the speed averaging cameras everyone seems to drive a lot quicker (which is nice) although I can’t help thinking everyone would benefit from the legalisation of under-taking like in Oz.
3) The cars. The cars are all a lot lot smaller and I saw far fewer shit-boxes on the road than I remember seeing when I left. Most people seem to drive a pretty modern (less than five years old) set of wheels. There are a huge number of Noddy cars about though and I suppose the trend for smaller, cheaper cars will continue. If I come back in another 10 years I expect everyone to be in Sinclair C5s.
4) Petrol. Shitting expensive. It’s about £1.20 a litre here at the moment for the 95 (supermarket discount cards aside). Another reason for the explosion in use of very small cars of course. Every supermarket has a petrol station - similar to Oz but this wasn’t the case when we emigrated.
5) Mobiles. This is one area in which Australia shits on the UK from a very great height. I couldn’t believe how patchy the phone reception was and how singularly shite the mobile internet was. I went through three PAYG sim cards before settling on EE which seemed to be the least worst. But the simple fact is that I have new-found respect for Telstra in Australia. On my commute into Sydney in the morning I have a solid 4G internet connection from my house in the arse-end of nowhere, all the way through the royal national park (a place about the size of Wales) and in Sydney itself with no drop-outs anywhere. I can sit about five nautical miles off-shore in Oz and get great mobile Internet. So why, in a country of 70million people in an area smaller than the right-hand side of New South Wales, you can’t get consistent phone connectivity is staggering to me.
6) Supermarkets. No contest on this one - the UK’s supermarkets are superior in every single regard. Quality, range of products, pricing, service - all better. I couldn’t believe the range and quality of ready-meals in Sainsburys these days. We used to shop in Waitrose when we lived in the UK and I found the experience of wandering around the shelves a wholly depressing one - amazing high quality produce and still a shit sight cheaper than the cheapest of Aussie supermarkets. How is it that a tube of toothpaste costs me $6 when I only have to pay 90p in the UK? Didn’t enjoy the poe-faced checkout people and far prefer the chatty OZ versions, but I realise that most Brits are repressed kill-joys who'd rather just grimace at everyone.
7) Car hand-washes. What the **** is all that about? Every tiny little village seems to have three competing car washes, owned and operated by young Polish lads. £5 for a full clean inside and out too!
8) TV. The digital freeview boxes were just kicking off when I emigrated and they seem to be more widely used than the satellite dishes. All the usual channels (BBC1,2,3,4 and radio, ITV 1,2,3, Ch4, Ch5, Dave, Film 4 etc) plus lots of plus 1’s. We can stream all of the above over in Oz of course, but it’s nice to have decent free-to-air at your fingertips. I’ve probably only seen about 30 minutes of Australian FTA TV and that was enough to scar me for life. Of course it used to be the case that nobody came close to the beeb for quality of programming but that’s no longer the case with the amazing programs on HBO and Netflix.
9) Pubs. The removal of all character from all pubs in the UK continues and it’s a ****ing disgrace. Wetherspoons everywhere and all the old boozers I drank in have been replaced by anodyne metro-pubs with stripped pine tables and chairs and lounges so awkward to sit on you wonder if they’re for display purposes only. Admittedly most Australian pubs have all the character of a cattle-shed, but it’s still a shame to see all the pubs turned into marketed experiences with air miles.
10) London. Definitely not the city I went to college in, lived in and worked in. All the grit’s gone, all the quirky shops and cafes have been forced out by sky-high rents, all the shops are the same identikit global brands you get everywhere on the planet. Also - why the **** does it cost £20 to get into the churches and yet the museums are free? Oyster card’s terrific though and very easy to use.
11) Weather. We visited during the warmest weather since 2006 and found the media’s reaction to 30+ degree temps almost as hilarious as the Aussie’s when it snows. It hit 33º on one day and there were all these automated announcements on the trains in London warning us to take plenty of water and get off the train if we felt unwell. So funny. We’ve had good luck with the weather but also a good few reminders of the grey days that always seemed to go on forever when I lived here.
12) Quality of life. Your mileage may vary but there’s no comparison for us - Oz is miles better. Here in the UK everything seems to revolve around a way of spending money - but our weekends in OZ are about exploring, visiting new areas, snorkelling, walking in the numerous parks or entertaining friends. Healthcare is excellent for us (and we have no private medical), schools are first rate, so no complaints from us on that front.
13) Growing up. My son had just turned four years old when we emigrated and we brought him over to the UK to meet his many cousins who are of a similar age to him. They all seemed pretty obsessed with labels of one kind or another whereas my son couldn’t give a shit whose logo was on his t-shirt. Also the girls his age seemed to dress like 25 year olds and spend their time trying to get into pubs and clubs. Seems to me that the kids in Australia are happy to be kids for a lot longer than their UK counterparts. Not sure if there’s any difference in the ages they all start shagging, or indeed if that’s any different from when I was a kid, but it seems to be primary focus of the teenage girls we’ve met on this trip according to their parents.
14) Trains are mind-bogglingly expensive unless you book well ahead but they’re also a lot better equipped than the ones on the mainline in Oz with charger sockets, wi-fi, reading lights etc.
15) Clothes. Hadn’t heard of Primark but was told to visit. Ludicrously cheap clothing and seemed pretty good quality - wonder which poor bastards in the third world are getting ****ed over to make them at such low prices. We went to the one in Bath and it was absolutely heaving with foreign tourists buying £2.50 t-shirts. I bought three pairs of board-shorts at £2.50 a pop. My wife reckoned the quality in most of the shops was identical to Oz and that prices were similar for the most part. There is however considerably more choice in the UK than Oz.

We have thoroughly enjoyed our trip back, visiting old friends and family and looking in on old haunts. The UK is largely as we left it though globalisation is leaving its mark just as it is in Oz. We have never ruled out returning to the UK at some point but there was nothing on this trip that had me looking up shipping container costs.

ZULU2000

ohhhh what lovely review I can't wait to start my life over there and in decade will be back on here with my review...

Scotty1

Great review - thanks for taking the time to post it

northernbird

I am a stalker on your photography FB page and have thoroughly enjoyed seeing all your photos. This review is pretty much a reflection of how I felt when I went back 5 years ago.

It's great to see you Hutch, it's quite different here these days but there are still some of us 'oldies' floating around.

kips

Good post. I am planning a visit to Blighty next July during the school holidays with hubby and son. Will be first visit in 7 years for me and our son.

Been here 12 years and thinking about out moving back because me and my OH miss family and friends and not that enamoured with Perth after 8 years in NSW but not sure we cannot afford to. We both have good jobs here and a good standard of living so not willing to give that up so easily.
The tables have turned. It's always been me keen to return to the UK and my husband adamant he would never go back. He is the reason we emigrated. I had no desire to live anywhere but the UK.

But since my husband visited the UK in May for 2 weeks for a naval reunion he has been talking about wanting to return. I think it's partly because his parents, sister and her husband have moved back to the UK after living in Spain for over a decade. They now live in Dorset where my husband grew up. He fell in love with Cerne Abbas where my sister-in-law lives.

I reminded him going for a short holiday and seeing all your family and friends is VERY different from living there permanently. He hates the cold so would struggle with the winter in the UK for a start. And our son, 12, has lived in Australia since he was 3 months old so not sure how he would cope if we went back. It's going to be interesting to see how me and hubby feel when we are back in the UK. We are both middle aged and wonder if we are having a mid life crisis lol

Alborg

In my opinion comparing Australia to the UK will always be difficult. A lot of what is good about the UK is unseen to most e.g. good schools/universities, respect for rule of law, good job prospects, good salaries, good health care, buoyant housing market, less red tape and regulations, stable economy, lots of fledgling businesses/entrepreneurs, a large market/small country so ripe for setting up on your own and making good money. It's also close to Europe so only couple of hours flying and you're in the sun where many aspire to buy a second home or retire if you can afford it.

Clearly the weather in the UK will never compete and you will never find the scenery in the UK that compares to Sydney harbour. Having an outdoorsy lifestyle in the UK is also more of an effort but again that's down to climate and what you make of it.

I feel true England is found in the countryside. I live in a city but spend most of my weekends exploring the byways and old roman roads of Somerset on my dirt bike. Takes me about 20 mins to get to the countryside. Some of the chocolate box villages I come across are stunning and quintessentially English where the local village hall or church is older than modern day Australia itself. The local ale/cider is to die for and not a Wetherspoons in sight.

Different strokes for different folks and what you make of it.

Alborg

Things to do aren't too shabby either. A week ago I was at a public military air display watching the red arrows and talking to an A10 fighter pilot and the week before I was at a Falconry in the Cotswolds flying Owls and Peregrine Falcons. All within an hour's drive of my house. Can't do that in Oz as it's banned, along with undertaking, filtering and scary looking rifles.

kips

You make some very valid points about the UK and are spot on about the fantastic English countryside. I miss the very long walks me and my two sisters enjoyed in the Derbyshire Peak District and Yorkshire Dales over the years.

northernbird

Please try not to turn this into a UK vs Aus thread. Horses for courses and all that.

Moses2013

Have to agree there and the UK has a lot to offer too. Many people leave the UK and have probably never seen most of it and if they return it's usually to the place they come from. There are pros and cons everywhere and someone who wants hot weather & city life, will probably never see how amazing Northern Ireland is (one example). Both UK and Australia have something to offer.

Alfresco

Awesome review. Thanks. I agree with pretty much all of that.

Swerv-o

This is a huge shame, as the nice pub culture is something I truly miss about the UK. Not sure how it is in the south West, but I hope there is some last vestige of charm and character left, and it isn't all Weatherspoons.

I'm back for a month at Christmas, so I guess I'll find out then...


S

Beoz

I've never really understood this one. Getting a 4G connection in the UK is pretty rare.

Fair summary all round I guess. Does depend on where you are in each country I guess. I lived in London for over a decade before moving to Sydney so my comparisons are very city orientated and both places have their plus points in different areas.

Alborg

These are the last few pubs I went to including my local. If you are on top of your game and move with the times, which most publicans are wise to nowadays, the below are setting the standard for pubs in the UK. There's too much custom and money to lose if you are not at this standard. The Wetherspoons "experience" is something from the past and disappeared along time ago, at least in my area of the UK. If you like real ale and good grub you can't go wrong with these:

Pony and Trap
The Horse and Groom - Bourton-on-the-Hill, near Moreton-in-Marsh, Cotswolds
Beers at the Penny
http://the-pumphouse.com

LouiseR

Great update Hutch! Thanks for sharing.