Ridere per non piangere ...
#46
Dunroaming back in UK
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Expat in Yorkshire now
Posts: 11,274
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions, and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...
No, wait... Sorry...I'm thinking of Red Wine and Port. It's alcohol that does all that shit. Nevermind.
No, wait... Sorry...I'm thinking of Red Wine and Port. It's alcohol that does all that shit. Nevermind.
#48
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Sadly I think my family are a bunch of racists.
I started dating a black girl recently, so I decided to bring her home to meet the family.
The kids wouldn't talk to her and my wife told me to pack my bags and leave.
I started dating a black girl recently, so I decided to bring her home to meet the family.
The kids wouldn't talk to her and my wife told me to pack my bags and leave.
#50
Dunroaming back in UK
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Expat in Yorkshire now
Posts: 11,274
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=3649169309116
not a joke as such but I nearly fell out of my chair
not a joke as such but I nearly fell out of my chair
#51
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=3649169309116
not a joke as such but I nearly fell out of my chair
not a joke as such but I nearly fell out of my chair
#52
Dunroaming back in UK
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Expat in Yorkshire now
Posts: 11,274
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
And another funny, click to read
#53
Dunroaming back in UK
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Expat in Yorkshire now
Posts: 11,274
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
and another one
#54
Dunroaming back in UK
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Expat in Yorkshire now
Posts: 11,274
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican .
After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers
'Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate
$100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us
this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'
The Pope responds, 'That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord.
It must not be changed.'
'Well,' said the Nescafe man, 'we anticipated your reluctance. For this
reason we will increase our offer to $300 million.'
'My son, it is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and
it must not be changed.'
The Nescafe guy says, 'Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your
adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer, we will
donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic
Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this
day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.' Please
consider it.'
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
'There is some good news,' he announces, 'and some bad news. The good
news is that the Church will come into $500 million.'
'And the bad news your Holiness?' asks a Cardinal?
'We're losing the Hovis account!'
After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers
'Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate
$100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us
this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'
The Pope responds, 'That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord.
It must not be changed.'
'Well,' said the Nescafe man, 'we anticipated your reluctance. For this
reason we will increase our offer to $300 million.'
'My son, it is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and
it must not be changed.'
The Nescafe guy says, 'Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your
adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer, we will
donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic
Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this
day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.' Please
consider it.'
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
'There is some good news,' he announces, 'and some bad news. The good
news is that the Church will come into $500 million.'
'And the bad news your Holiness?' asks a Cardinal?
'We're losing the Hovis account!'
#55
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Disneylandia
Posts: 1,824
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
#56
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=3649169309116
not a joke as such but I nearly fell out of my chair
not a joke as such but I nearly fell out of my chair
#58
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican .
After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers
'Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate
$100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us
this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'
The Pope responds, 'That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord.
It must not be changed.'
'Well,' said the Nescafe man, 'we anticipated your reluctance. For this
reason we will increase our offer to $300 million.'
'My son, it is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and
it must not be changed.'
The Nescafe guy says, 'Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your
adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer, we will
donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic
Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this
day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.' Please
consider it.'
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
'There is some good news,' he announces, 'and some bad news. The good
news is that the Church will come into $500 million.'
'And the bad news your Holiness?' asks a Cardinal?
'We're losing the Hovis account!'
After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers
'Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate
$100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us
this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'
The Pope responds, 'That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord.
It must not be changed.'
'Well,' said the Nescafe man, 'we anticipated your reluctance. For this
reason we will increase our offer to $300 million.'
'My son, it is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and
it must not be changed.'
The Nescafe guy says, 'Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your
adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer, we will
donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic
Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this
day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.' Please
consider it.'
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
'There is some good news,' he announces, 'and some bad news. The good
news is that the Church will come into $500 million.'
'And the bad news your Holiness?' asks a Cardinal?
'We're losing the Hovis account!'
#59
Re: Ridere per non piangere ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jw
Dumb ways to Die ... health and safety in Australia , there is also a karoke version!
Dumb ways to Die ... health and safety in Australia , there is also a karoke version!