philat98

An Italian joke....

jonwel

Another Italian joke:

Two farmers were looking at some cows in a field. One of them said, "You see that black cow over there, near the white one?"
"Yes."
"Well, that cow gives 40 litres of milk a day!"
"That's pretty good. And what about the white one?"
"Yes, she does too. And that cow - the same one, the black one near the white one - is so strong that she could pull a tractor out of a ditch!"
"What about the white one?"
"Yes, she could too."
"There's something I don't get. Those two cows are about the same but you always tell me about the black one and don't tell me about the white one until I ask!"
"That's because the black one's mine!"
"So whose is the white one?"
"That one's mine too!"

jonwel

An official was visiting a psychiatric hospital. He asked the doctors what tests they carried out to tell if someone was still mad.
"Well, for example, we fill a bath with water. Then we give the patient a bucket, a cup and a spoon and tell him to empty the bath."
"I see, so obviously a normal person would use the bucket."
"No, a normal person would pull the plug out. Would you like a bed near the window?"

jonwel

Three engineers were discussing the human body. One said, "I believe it was designed by a mechanical engineer, with all those joints and articulations".

Another one said, "No, I think it was designed by an electrical engineer - think of all those nerve connections!"

The third one said, "No, it was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would position a toxic waste disposal site near a recreation area?"

ononno

enjoying them all

Pecora Nera

A couple of Italian language flash cards I have made

jonwel

Q. What's the difference between six euro and six quid?
A. One is a sum of money, the other is a diseased cephalopod.

Q. What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
A. You can't wash you hands in a buffalo.

Q. What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?
A. One means against the law, the other is a sick bird.

philat98

Festive song...

jonwel

"Granny, make a noise like a frog!"
"Why?"
"Because Daddy says that when you croak we'll get all your money".

jonwel

Nostalgia is not what it used to be... and pessimism's not going to get any better.

pugliese

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross."

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya ******' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"

Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?

ononno