Lorna at Vicenza

She had some stories that's for sure.
She is originally from Puglia. When she was young she met a soldier from Padova and got on a train with him and came up to the Veneto to be his bride.

37100

I'm sorry to hear that, Lorna. You kids are lucky to have met her. My OH grew up with his great gran and has fond memories.

Lorna at Vicenza

Thank you.

Yes, they are both old enough to have fond memories of her forever.
I thought the kids were ok after the initial news, but I've just found Chloe in floods of tears and Alex keeps asking me about funerals, what happens, where is she now and if he has to wear something special for Bisnonna.

pugliese

sorry to hear of your family's loss Lorna.

Lorna at Vicenza

Thank you.

I was very fond of her. Calling her Signora or by her first name always seemed a bit strange to me so I called her Nonna and she liked it. She was thrilled to bits when her grandson introduced me to her and later Chloe was born. Unlike many old people here, she thought it was brilliant that Chloe and Alex speak English and can swap between the two languages. She thought they were very daring and brave to get on planes. She's never been on a plane in her life.

LivingHere

So sorry to hear this Lorna, sounds as though she had a good life though. (Please tell me the soldier was Nonno)

Garbatellamike

Lorna,
sorry to hear your bad news and I hope you and the family are bearing up OK. I lost my Grandad (approaching 96) this year and it hit my sister and I much harder than we ever thought it would.

The kids will probably cope better than adults as they tend to be stronger than we imagine and yours sound like they are very sensible.

thinking of you all in this sad time
Mike

Lorna at Vicenza

Thanks Mike, that's nice.

The kids were a bit up and down yesterday. At one point they seemed ok and quite relaxed. Later on I found Chloe in floods of tears. When I cuddled her and said 'what's wrong sweetie?' she said, I didn't want Nonna Vecchia to leave us.

Nonna Vecchia was a nickname they had for her. When Chloe was little she called OH's mum Nonna, as is just. But then her daddy called this other woman Nonna - but Nonna called her Mamma. So who was Nonna?

Her real Nonna one day said "Look Chloe, it's easy. I am Nonna and she is Nonna Vecchia or Bisnonna - and if you don't like that we can call her Nonna Esterina."

She became a mix of Nonna Vecchia and Nonna Esterina but mostly Nonna Vecchia.

The kids asked me if they could have a flower or two to take to church. I have no idea of the protocol or what happens here so I said okay anyway and I took them to the florist's. I presume immediate family chooses most of the flowers and the like.

Anyway, I let them both choose flowers and colours and I will let the kids have them in church and then either lay them on the coffin before they leave or we will hand them over to Nonna. Whether it's protocol or tradition or not, I don't care a damn. If that's how my kids want to salute their Nonna Vecchia it's fine with me and their dad.

If some old git/matriarch mumbles under his/her breath that it's not the way they do things here and we are stranieri, then I just hope I am not there to hear it.

They might have to quickly dig another grave. May God forgive me !

Patty

So sorry Lorna to hear about your loss. She sounded like a wonderful nonna and your children will have lovely memories of her forever - as for the funeral I think its a grand idea for them to put flowers they have chosen - if anyone moans then just pity them for the narrow minded person they certainly are
If it helps your children to cope and get through this very sad time then its only your business and no-one elses.
Its so sad isnt it when our children have to cope with their first real loss. We can only help and guide them through the emotional journey of grief. Thinking of you all xx

HADENOUGHPIZZA

I agree with Patty, its only right to let the children do whatever helps them and who cares what anybody thinks. All the funerals I've attended here have been different and I don't think there is any rigid protocol you need worry about .

37100

Lorna, down a lot of funerals here. Usually; you can take the flowers to where she is in laying and the undertaker will load them with the casket. Most then put them outside the church for the duration of the service. You can take them to the church and even put the on the coffin if the family do not object and they haven't ordered a huge casket bouquet. If not, the undertaker is there to show you where it's best to put them -out of the way of the priest. You can also load them after the service with the casket or, if you are going to the cemetary, take the yourself. FWIW Children do not dwell on the 'never see her again'. It's more an immediate lose for them. If you get me.

Oh, and you can take flowers even if it's 'no flowers'. You are immediate family.

Lorna at Vicenza

Thanks everyone.

I think the kids want to keep hold of their little flowers in the church, and then they'll leave them on the coffin as we leave or give them to their nonna.

We are not going to the cemetary.

37100

Lorna, you made me giggle. And I needed it. It's another of those days. The coffin leaves the church first and you follow. Not vice-versus.

Lorna at Vicenza

Well that's me .............. totally mixed up

Anyway, I have just been to collect the flowers (shop is closed this aft - turno di chiusura !) and flipping heck, I asked for a little spray of flowers for each child. I was thinking along the size of a little posy .... something that they could comfortably carry in one hand and quietly slip onto the coffin or hand over to Nonna.

The florist has made up two lengthy concoctions the size of an adult arm from shoulder to finger tip. Don't get me wrong - they are absolutely lovely and excellent value for the price I told her I wanted to pay ... but these are not little posies that the kids can quietly slip somewhere.

HADENOUGHPIZZA

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