The Good/Bad Old Days
 

"I understand the I was scared". I was scared of my mum. It stopped me from trying cigarettes. I honestly believed at the time that she would have killed me. 2 years ago she told me I was a difficult child!!!! I told her if it is any consolation I was a very unhappy child. She also told me on that visit that my dad drinks to much whisky in the evening and just watches tv. I politely explained that if I was him and you (my mum) kept telling me I was stupid every time I tried to talk and huffed at me all the time. I would do the same.... Liberating or what.. Shame I had to wait until I was 46..

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

I did it at 33! (This year) and it's very liberating.... my mum had to go away to regroup but she's been here about 10days now and it's only been the last couple that she's been grating on me. I was scared of my Dad more tbh and never bunked off school. I did smoke but so did they and I was extremely sneaky... I don't want my son to feel he has to be sneaky around us like I was around them. I felt split in two tbh as I was one person in their eyes but another person outside.... doesn't help that they refuse to call me by the shortened version of my real name even though every other person on the planet calls me that... I refer you back to the Philip Larkin poem..... here

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

I was lucky I had a great relationship with my dad. It was he who I asked if I wanted something. He would say yes or no because ... or let me think about it.

My mum would say No or we will see which meant no, sometimes yes with a sigh I was made to feel as if I had asked for the world.

Now that my dad has had a stroke, he now calls me for help in organising anything, not my older brother or sister in the uk. The buggers moved all his savings and income into my mums account and she dished out "pocket money" to him. He worked all his life for it. Last time I was over we opened a separate account in another bank and his navy pension is going into it. It seams they forgot about that pension. So now he has his running away money as he puts it.

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

Good for you and him! My mum used to say 'it's up to you' and then when we said 'right I'm going to do that' she'd say 'well I wouldn't if I were you..' and if you persisted then her 'well I wouldn't if I were you's used to get louder... we soon learnt that she meant no.... that's why I try and be clear with my kids. If I say no that means no and I give reasons. If I say yes it means yes. My dad wasn't around much tbh. He's a workaholic and we didn't really spend that much time with him. I do get on with him and the time I burnt a hole in the new carpet by lighting bits of paper in the gas fire whilst my mum was having a lay in he didn't go as ballistic as I thought he would. My mum did though!!

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

Sad times but from all that sadness has come some good.
My children will NOT suffer the same miserable shit that I did and I will not force them to eat something they really do not like. I can bend the rules a little so they know when they are getting a treat and they know what a treat is. They also get lots of love and cuddles and kind words and praise and compliments.

Mum is a very good Grandma which makes life much nicer then when I was growing up and we get on fine these days. I discovered that she can't even remember half of the shit, she still thinks she was right about the other half of the shit and she has brushed it all to one side as being in the past and I'm a grown up now with my own life and not under her care or her roof anymore. I also decided a long time ago that I would not waste any more tears or energy on her and that made a difference.

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: I'm hearing ya Lorna!! xxxxx

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

Oh God we had a gas fire that required at least 3 hands to light it. One to lift the heavy glass cover, another two hands to strike the match, a forth to turn on the gas. It wasn't possible to light the match then lift the cover because the match would go out.

When I was 9 I perfected a technique. Open and lift the glass door, resting it on my forehead. ( leaving my nose about 8 inches from the fire) Strike the match and then turn on the gas. Almost always worked. One morning I had to strike the match 3 times before the gas lit. when it did light it took away my fringe and both eyebrows. Leaving me with a permanent surprised look until they grew back.... Ah the days before central heating and double glazing! MMM as kids we got up on our own and pretended to eat the weatabix before school. My mother never questioned why a pack of weatabix lasted a month.

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

Yes goes back to the other thread "A sad day" give lots of time and huggs. however I still get annoyed. And there is no surprise I bogged off to another country.

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

I can so relate to these last posts.
My mum taught us that we had to ask for everything - and then she always said "no" so we started to sneak.
She caught me on the phone once so she put a lock on it. I learnt to pick the lock with a pair of eyebrow tweezers.
If I asked for a cup of tea she'd say - no get water. So in the morning when it was my job to make her a coffee, I'd make myself a cup of tea before walking to catch the bus. One day after school she was waiting for me in the kitchen, all stoney faced and scary looking, to tell me she knew that I had been stealing tea bags from her. I was 16 at the time.
She made me ask her every month for sanitary towels and then hit the roof with me one Sunday morning because it was a Sunday and everything was closed. I did shout back at her that time and asked her why she couldn't just buy them and leave them in my bedroom like other mums did - after all she knew they were going to be needed every month - and anyway, I wanted some tampax. She asked me if I thought money grew on trees an did I know how much more expensive tampax were? That's when I started buying my own.

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

You must have looked a right state :lol: At least you were allowed to have the fire on. I used to wake up with ice on the inside of my bedroom window and once I tried doing my homework with fingerless gloves on. Whatever it takes to heat my house here in the winter I pay gladly because I just cannot live in the cold anymore.

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

Never said I was allowed :p We lived in Sheffield it was freezing.

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

I wasn't too far away in West Yorkshire. Small place outside Brighouse, near Halifax and Huddersfield and Bradford.

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

Is your mum related to mine??????

There was an unspoken rule that if a packet of biscuits was unopened then it stayed that way until my mum opened it.. When it was open you could get away with pinching the odd one.

One day I went into the pantry to fetch something and moved a box of Ritz crackers. They felt really light but they were still sealed. I gave them a little shake and crumbs felt out the bottom. Turning them over I noticed she had opened them from the bottom so no one else would take any. Sneaky c*w.

I never told anyone but I knew how to get at the Ritz without getting into trouble. She used to hide the nut crackers at christmas!!! :thumbdown:

Think we need a new thread, Living in the wake of parents... or Therapeutic whining.

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

You lot are funny! So this is all I missed out on not having a mum most of my life is it?! I suppose I could say be grateful you have had mums and still have them to moan about but I'm not that much of a cow! ;) having had the same experience vicariously through my OH I actually think I'm one of the luckier ones!! After a few years of fighting with my dad we got on really well - I don't really remember my mum but I miss my dad, he'd love it here! PN - bring your dad over, let him run away to you before it's too late! That's my advice!! Love the cracker tale! Reminds me of me...;) thing is with my OH it ALL vanishes overnight if it doesn't get hidden etc!!

Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
 

My dad came over 2 years ago and he loved it. Last year they made lots of excuses and it didn't happen ( Even one regarding insurance in case he kippers I ever sent them an insurance proposal by saga). This year it was vetoed by my brother and mum because they said it was too difficult. I fly over this Sunday and will argue his case. I think he is stashing money so that he can run away.:blink: At 13 I wanted to run away now my dad is 80 he wants to run away.