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Returning to South Africa

Returning to South Africa

Old Jul 3rd 2009, 7:42 am
  #16  
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Default Re: Returning to South Africa

Originally Posted by Luma
... especially with young children who don't understand why they grandparents, cousins and aunts & uncles live on another continent.

I want to return by hubby doesn't so for now we stay and enjoy Western Australia.
I suspect you are projecting your own feelings onto your children. You need to pull yourself together and move on. South Africa is a different place, and you are a different person, to what it was, and to what you were ten years ago.
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Old Jul 3rd 2009, 7:58 am
  #17  
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Default Re: Returning to South Africa

Originally Posted by Pablo
I suspect you are projecting your own feelings onto your children. You need to pull yourself together and move on. South Africa is a different place, and you are a different person, to what it was, and to what you were ten years ago.
I know that and realised that after my first 6 months away from South Africa. My own mother told me I had to cut the apron strings and that my husband was now my family.

I just don't like it that we dont' have my family around us. We are a very close family and sometimes the sacrifices we've had to make living in another country have been too great.

I'm now in the situation that my husband is dead set against returning. I feel very torn but I married my husband for better or worse and I love him dearly so we will remain in Australia for the time being. I know my children are going to do the same thing one day and will live on a different coninent from us. What a shame that families no longer live together.
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Old Jul 3rd 2009, 8:01 am
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Default Re: Returning to South Africa

Originally Posted by Alfresco
Ok, that makes sense. You are gonna get those Oz passports before moving back though?
My husband will make sure we get Aussie passports. I will be proud to become Australian as I think it is a wonderful country.
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Old Jul 3rd 2009, 8:20 am
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Default Re: Returning to South Africa

Originally Posted by Luma
I know that and realised that after my first 6 months away from South Africa. My own mother told me I had to cut the apron strings and that my husband was now my family.

I just don't like it that we dont' have my family around us. We are a very close family and sometimes the sacrifices we've had to make living in another country have been too great.

I'm now in the situation that my husband is dead set against returning. I feel very torn but I married my husband for better or worse and I love him dearly so we will remain in Australia for the time being. I know my children are going to do the same thing one day and will live on a different coninent from us. What a shame that families no longer live together.
I used to know quite a few German people in north London who had been forced to flee the Nazis during the 1930s. They were Jewish, of course, and, looking back, they realised they were also the lucky ones. But it was terribly difficult for a lot of them for a long time. They missed Germany. They had to learn a new language; they had to adjust to a strange new society.

A lot of them are dead now. But I find I often think of them. They sacrificed a lot. But they came from a generation that knew about sacrifice. And their children are, for the most part, happy and successful.

We all look back. It is surely natural. But I think it is important to remember that looking back always has something of the illusion about it. The really good thing is to look forward.
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Old Jul 3rd 2009, 3:01 pm
  #20  
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Default Re: Returning to South Africa

It is so very difficult living far away from your loved ones, but necessary when it comes to giving children an opportunity at a happy future. We are inclined to modify our memories to a rosier hue as time goes by, and assume all will be as remembered when we return. I can tell you that the only thing about my home town in SA that is remotely the same is the geography. The people I cared about are all gone and the town itself looks rather grim. The image in my head was promptly corrected.

Luma, children will be just fine without aunties and uncles and grandparents as long as the parents strive to fill their lives with more productive ways of coping with living in a new country. Children usually do better than the parents anyway, especially when they are little ones. I have quite a few friends in Perth, and my beloved's nephew will be moving there once his paper work is sorted out. Perth has a lot of South African expats so I know you are not alone and nor are you unique in dealing with the absence of family. Surely that should encourage you to form closer friendships with fellow expats to garner some support during the tough times. I have been to Perth myself and it is a lovely place and most of the folk there are great. A few of my old school chums still live there. I believe it is all a matter of personal effort and I certainly know that it can be very trying and challenging at times. Wherever you are in the world, you have to fight your way through those issues.

I think you may need to go back home for a holiday. It does help.
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Old Jul 3rd 2009, 4:45 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: Returning to South Africa

Originally Posted by Luma
My husband will make sure we get Aussie passports. I will be proud to become Australian as I think it is a wonderful country.
That's fab and I wish you all the best in your move back.
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