Arikara

Hi, my boyfriend is zimbabwean, i'm white british, he wants to move back to zimbabwe but obviously as and English girl i'm slightly terrified! i've heard lots of horror stories about the way women are treated and that men have rights to the children not the mothers etc. can anyone tell me what its actually like to live in africa for a british woman?

any advice is welcome!

thanks in advance!

Mitzyboy

Hi there

I've got to say right off I have no experience of Africa other than what I've seen on the news, and read on forums generally.

So ......read through this forum, there is a big thread on Zimbabwe

My wife and I were discussing the other night which countries we would not want to visit, even as a tourist, and SA and Zim were at the very top.

Arikara

Thanks,

I have read alot of the forum, which seems great for the poltics but not so much on what its actually like living there.

Mitzyboy

You have to ask yourself before you even start on the lifestyle problems ........ would you be able to live comfortably with the politics? Did you see the sky reports on life there under Mugabe? ......... empty supermarkets ........ problems getting fuel for cars....... 1000% inflation ....... massive unemployment .....

Arikara

yes, that is all quite scary lol, however, my boyfriend would get work as an accountant, the company will pay for his house, for his childrens private schooling, for his car and fuel, it would be a comfortable life. so he says! lol which is why i want to see what it would be really like as apose to his sugar coating!

Mitzyboy

I understand .... well, I'm guessing you will get some frank points of view here

Arikara

Thanks for your help, and i look forward to the responses! lol

shiftdelete

you are "white british" so can I assume he is "black zimbabwean"?
What horror stories have you heard?

Perhaps you should ask him why would he wants to go back to Zimbabwe....to make money?, grow maize, ...?? Has he recently acquired some property?

If you've heard these stories, have you discussed this with him?

Do you really want to have his children if there's the remotest chance he can get full custody, according to these horror stories.

When you say any advice is welcome, do you really mean that

Arikara

Yes he is black zimbabwean, he is the one that's told me the stories so i suppose its pretty factual, he wants to go back because he loves africa and he wants to be close to his father, if things between us remain as they are then yes i would want to have children with him, because he will be the man i love, but no i dont like the idea of having no rights to them, if i registerd them as british though wouldnt i have a british right to them? i dont want to live in england for ever, i have already lived in spain and enjoyed the different culture there, a different culture doesnt bother me too much, i just want to be informed. and yes i've discussed all of this with him, but i want more than one opinion.

shiftdelete

Have you asked him who he voted for, who his dad voted for?

With inflation at over 165000% have you got a savings plan how are you going to get it out the country.

You're a fool to even be thinking of doing this....lol

Mitzyboy

'ere steady on man .... the OP asked for advice not ridicule

shiftdelete

sorry fritzy

to the op- is this a setup?- are you real?- something is a tad off?

A couple of days ago some teachers were beaten to death. How do you feel about living in a society where evil lurks just below the surface?

You reckon it would be a comfortable life?

Don't you think you should first go and visit the place?

Mitzyboy

Leigh of the Valley

I think you should give it a try but you really need to know what its like .. Zimbabwe is a wonderful place to live and has a lot to offer. However, at present as you probably know, the economy is at a standstill and life is quite hard. If you have money things are not too bad but you still have to live in a country where you sometimes cannot buy basics (even if you are swimming in money!) because they are not available. Most people now rely on South Africa/Botswana to buy their basics.
Also the healthcare system is not like the NHS. There is a shortage of drugs, health personnel and basic supplies in the local hospitals. I guess you could get your treatment private but still, if for example, God forbid, you have a road accident, the chances of dying are increased because the emergency service is just non existent.
After all is said and done, I know a lot of people who are managing to make a life there in Zimbabwe and the secret to success seems to be;
Owning a successful business/es,
Travelling to either South Africa/Botswana to buy food although I hear its also widely available on the black market.
Keeping your money in a foreign currency whether its pounds or US dollars.
Wheeling and dealing on the black market!
Lastly Zimbabwean society is quite traditional in its outlook to an extent. If your boyfriend is a good person he will make sure that you are well looked after regardless. As a british woman, I do not think there will be too many expectations as you are from a different culture. I find most black Zimbabweans are really respectful and quite welcoming of other cultures and colours. They all also tend to be community oriented rather than individualistic(like most western cultures) so you will find that families help each other more and that family is very important to the average Zimbabwean person.

As for women having no rights,that is too broad a generalization as women do have lots of rights under the law of the land though not as much in the UK. Women's rights have been a big issue in Zimbabwe and in the 90s there was affirmative action on many levels to equal the inequalities between the sexes.
There is No law that says children belong to the father. Both mother and father have equal rights on custody and quite often mothers are awarded custody of their children in most cases. This whole concept of children belonging to the father" is usually directed at vulnerable stay-at-home mothers" usually uneducated, who do not have the means to seek legal help and who are completely dependent on the husband.
I think in your case, the secret is to learn as much as you can about your boyfriend's culture as forewarned in forearmed. I am not saying this in a bad way but it will give you an idea about how the culture works.
Zimbabwe is a nice place to live but be prepared for the culture shock as it won't be similar to the UK or Spain. I certainly know a few interracial couples some similar to your situation who live in Zimbabwe comfortably without any hassle.
My advice is to give it a go (you won't know until you try) but do make sure you leave the door open in the UK just in case.
All the best to you.

Pablo

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