Generic questions!
Nov 15th 2007, 4:26 pm
#46
Banned
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: North of Auckland
Posts: 1,996
Re: Generic questions!
It was the elite whites
Now it's the elite blacks
Nov 15th 2007, 7:56 pm
#47
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 65
Re: Generic questions!
Of course you'd rather that everyone pretends the problems of crime, corruption, incompetence and municipal breakdown are not mentioned. My advice to the original poster was that she should view what is going on by checking out the details for herself. I gave her links to the main media publications. The problem with you, Juggernaut, is that you have forgotten what it feels like to live without the kind of constant security worries that are typical of South Africa.
I certainly appreciated the push to look out for news myself, everything else seemed more like forcing me to believe, and totally disregard my better half's experiences, in favour of blind panic and fear.
It's one thing to be honest, but it seems like people are on a personal mission to scare the living bejebus out of me, which won't benefit you or I really!
Nov 15th 2007, 9:02 pm
#48
Nuts and Bolts
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: Palm Tree in the Snow
Posts: 2,116
Re: Generic questions!
Nope, just go with your eyes open, and also consider the fact that homesickness always makes the grass greener. There are problems, you need to be aware and go accordingly. Incidentally, we are not here to scare you, the folk that get up to this nonsense in South Africa are the ones to be concerned about. Happy travels. 
Nov 15th 2007, 9:26 pm
#50
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Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 65
Re: Generic questions!
What must I do? Spend a year hiding in a home with the biggest dogs I can find with the strongest bars I can find on all the windows? It sounds like it won't be enough, so what will? Not going is not an option.
It's not as if the only answers I expected were that I'd miss Hollyoaks, but I had rather hoped there might be something pactical I can do to prepare beyond kissing my backside goodbye!
It's not as if the only answers I expected were that I'd miss Hollyoaks, but I had rather hoped there might be something pactical I can do to prepare beyond kissing my backside goodbye!
Nov 15th 2007, 9:33 pm
#51
Banned
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: North of Auckland
Posts: 1,996
Re: Generic questions!
What must I do? Spend a year hiding in a home with the biggest dogs I can find with the strongest bars I can find on all the windows? It sounds like it won't be enough, so what will? Not going is not an option.
It's not as if the only answers I expected were that I'd miss Hollyoaks, but I had rather hoped there might be something pactical I can do to prepare beyond kissing my backside goodbye!
It's not as if the only answers I expected were that I'd miss Hollyoaks, but I had rather hoped there might be something pactical I can do to prepare beyond kissing my backside goodbye!
The alternative is to wave a few R200 notes
Nov 15th 2007, 9:34 pm
#52
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,424
Re: Generic questions!
Yep, find a new boyfriend!
Just joking, ok!!
Saffa's have a macabre sense of humour.
We need it.
Just joking, ok!!
Saffa's have a macabre sense of humour.
We need it.
Nov 16th 2007, 1:05 am
#53
Nuts and Bolts
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: Palm Tree in the Snow
Posts: 2,116
Re: Generic questions!
How long has your bf been out the country amb? Go with the understanding that it is an african country and the rule of law as you know it does not apply. It is a rather selective sort of justice anymore.
Just remember that bf is going home to an environment he already knows (hopefully), and he will need to guide you through the necessary changes to ensure your wellbeing and happiness. Will you be working or dependant on him? You both need to have a long talk about what you hope to get out of your time there, and if things don't pan out, what options do you have and will he compromise with you should you want to leave. If he glibly blows off the issues I would be concerned.
If he addresses all your issues to your satisfaction, give it a whirl, you may well have a positive experience. Be smart and be vigilant. It is a different world from the one you know. Just make sure you have an open ended return ticket and passport so you have peace of mind should you have a change of heart. Give it a try but be aware of your challenges. Ignorance, believe it or not, is not bliss. Good luck to you.
Just remember that bf is going home to an environment he already knows (hopefully), and he will need to guide you through the necessary changes to ensure your wellbeing and happiness. Will you be working or dependant on him? You both need to have a long talk about what you hope to get out of your time there, and if things don't pan out, what options do you have and will he compromise with you should you want to leave. If he glibly blows off the issues I would be concerned.
If he addresses all your issues to your satisfaction, give it a whirl, you may well have a positive experience. Be smart and be vigilant. It is a different world from the one you know. Just make sure you have an open ended return ticket and passport so you have peace of mind should you have a change of heart. Give it a try but be aware of your challenges. Ignorance, believe it or not, is not bliss. Good luck to you.
Nov 16th 2007, 4:52 am
#54
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,276
Re: Generic questions!
How long has your bf been out the country amb? Go with the understanding that it is an african country and the rule of law as you know it does not apply. It is a rather selective sort of justice anymore.
Just remember that bf is going home to an environment he already knows (hopefully), and he will need to guide you through the necessary changes to ensure your wellbeing and happiness. Will you be working or dependant on him? You both need to have a long talk about what you hope to get out of your time there, and if things don't pan out, what options do you have and will he compromise with you should you want to leave. If he glibly blows off the issues I would be concerned.
If he addresses all your issues to your satisfaction, give it a whirl, you may well have a positive experience. Be smart and be vigilant. It is a different world from the one you know. Just make sure you have an open ended return ticket and passport so you have peace of mind should you have a change of heart. Give it a try but be aware of your challenges. Ignorance, believe it or not, is not bliss. Good luck to you.
Just remember that bf is going home to an environment he already knows (hopefully), and he will need to guide you through the necessary changes to ensure your wellbeing and happiness. Will you be working or dependant on him? You both need to have a long talk about what you hope to get out of your time there, and if things don't pan out, what options do you have and will he compromise with you should you want to leave. If he glibly blows off the issues I would be concerned.
If he addresses all your issues to your satisfaction, give it a whirl, you may well have a positive experience. Be smart and be vigilant. It is a different world from the one you know. Just make sure you have an open ended return ticket and passport so you have peace of mind should you have a change of heart. Give it a try but be aware of your challenges. Ignorance, believe it or not, is not bliss. Good luck to you.
Nov 16th 2007, 8:49 am
#55
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,881
Re: Generic questions!
...Then go. As you say above, there is no decision to be made.
I must say I think you are being a little unfair on people who have given you their advice and opinions. I think you should bear in mind that you are talking to people who are a lot older and more experienced than you, who have in many cases made the very difficult decision to leave their homes, careers, friends, and a country they love, uproot themselves, and start again from scratch, often with children in tow.
You have only asked very general "generic" questions so far. You can easily do plenty of research for yourself and investigage those questions about South Africa that particularly interest or concern you.
If you have not already heard of HomeComing Revolution, an organisation with a web site that is specifically designed to entice expat South Africans back, then you can easily look there for the so-called positive news. I am totally up front about my contempt for Homecoming Rev, but you can make your own judgement about what they have to say. My own view is that you will see confirmed, if you read between the lines of their propaganda, a good deal of the "negative" comment on this site. But that is your judgement to make.
Furthermore, as others have hinted to you, your b/f and his family may well have an interest in presenting SA in a more rosy light than is the true situation. But that too is a judgement that only you can make.
In the end you just have to suck it and see. Advice and opinion is just that. Take it or leave it. Go and find out for yourself.
And besides, as you have said yourself, not going is not an option. So go.
I must say I think you are being a little unfair on people who have given you their advice and opinions. I think you should bear in mind that you are talking to people who are a lot older and more experienced than you, who have in many cases made the very difficult decision to leave their homes, careers, friends, and a country they love, uproot themselves, and start again from scratch, often with children in tow.
You have only asked very general "generic" questions so far. You can easily do plenty of research for yourself and investigage those questions about South Africa that particularly interest or concern you.
If you have not already heard of HomeComing Revolution, an organisation with a web site that is specifically designed to entice expat South Africans back, then you can easily look there for the so-called positive news. I am totally up front about my contempt for Homecoming Rev, but you can make your own judgement about what they have to say. My own view is that you will see confirmed, if you read between the lines of their propaganda, a good deal of the "negative" comment on this site. But that is your judgement to make.
Furthermore, as others have hinted to you, your b/f and his family may well have an interest in presenting SA in a more rosy light than is the true situation. But that too is a judgement that only you can make.
In the end you just have to suck it and see. Advice and opinion is just that. Take it or leave it. Go and find out for yourself.
And besides, as you have said yourself, not going is not an option. So go.
Nov 16th 2007, 9:12 am
#56
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 419
Re: Generic questions!
Has someone already said they find Pablo a tad condescending?
Nov 16th 2007, 9:20 am
#57
Banned
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: North of Auckland
Posts: 1,996
Re: Generic questions!
The headlines look sad for Johannesburg 
Nov 16th 2007, 9:21 am
#58
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Location: North of Auckland
Posts: 1,996
Re: Generic questions!
See Mandoza is also " accused"
Nov 16th 2007, 10:58 am
#59
Happily hungover
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Runcorn, via Africa and parts unknown.
Posts: 2,447
Re: Generic questions!
Quite honestly, I think you've all been had ....... a troll alert might be in order.
Nov 16th 2007, 11:01 am
#60
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,881
Re: Generic questions!
Sorry, Stanley, if you would rather sneer than try to answer properly (see your messages passim). As far as I am concerned, there are such things as experience, learning, intelligence and wisdom. Everyone, irrespective of their background, or indeed the colour of their skin, has the ability and indeed the obligation, to make the best of themselves. If you find that irksome and prefer to wallow in a pit of ignorance then that's too bad.