A council estate raised British city girl trying to make it in rural Canada

I'm leaving :(

01:20, Tuesday 22 October 2013 .. 4 comments .. Link
No no no, not my husband or Canada. Or not indeed BE - but I have decided to make another blog on the web for a wider audience. It's moreso for my furniture makeovers, you know the obligatory before and afters! so if anyone is in the slightest bit interested here's a link to it http://moodunnit.blogspot.ca/ I have no idea how many people read this one but it sure would be nice to see some familiar faces as I attempt to crack into the already overpopulated world of 'girls painting furniture' thing!!!! I'm still a paint contractor by day (and a very busy one) - if it's any consolation - some of those furniture makeovers have been done with me going to bed at 4.30am and then getting back up at 7 to be on site by 8 (I'm kinda tired now) but I love painting things (as you know) and seeing as I've had no funny mishaps around the place to make you all laugh with (must be growing up!) I thought i'd document the makeovers! Thanks for reading - see y'all on the other side. Hugs and luvs Mandymoochops xxx

Upsetting the neighbours

11:01, Monday 19 August 2013 .. 5 comments .. Link

See now - you know me - if it bugs me - i'll say it. Seems Canadians aren't really like that, they'll just moan behind your back.

Not this chick - no siree.

So here's how this one played out ...............

There was a poker rally and all the neighbourhood gets together for beers / whiskey after. Theres a load of people there (old school house in the middle of nowhere) and everyones having a good time. Darcy is talking to this tall guy, so I go over and say Hi. He looks down his nose at me and starts taking the piss out of the accent (not in a nice way either).

So I think right you jackass, fuck you I don't have to talk to you for the rest of the evening - and go off to talk to some friends.

Few hours later everyone ends up at ours - along with this shitbag of a guy (who is a friend of the neighbour) Greeeeaaaaaaaat - I'll just ignore you then. One of the neighbours asks me for a cigarette as everyone else is out, I say sure - and go into the kitchen drawer to get them and give him one. I turn away for about half a minute and when I turn back I notice the ignorant guy going outside to have a smoke.  Now I KNOW he didn't have any, so I open the kitchen drawer - and lo and behold - my fags have disappeared.

Well i'm riled right up now and go storming outside after him.

(Imagine if you will this in the best council house demeanour - and none of this is made up this is exactly how this played out - sorry for all the swearing)

"Oi you fucking shit - where did you get that smoke"

he points to the other guy outside and says "him"

"don't fucking lie - he just bummed that off me - so where are my smokes"

'no idea what you mean"

(the other guy outside is looking reaaaaal sheepish as he knows whats gone on)

"did you just take it upon yourself to go through MY drawers and help yourslef to my fags without asking??? actually don't answer that I fucking know you did so give the fuckers back get your shoes and stuff and fuck right off out of my house"

he points to the roof



"How dare you go through my stuff, help yourself and then decide to throw em on the roof - how fucking old are you, you stupid fuck - what gives you the right............................... (and on and on I go)"

Hes all the time trying to make out like its no big deal. you know the whole "you need to calm down whats the big deal" type thing)

I come back in the kitchen, grab his stuff coat / shoes and chuck it outside down the steps. The neighbour (whose friend this guy was) says "I can't believe you'd accuse him of doing that - he'd never do anything like that"

Darcy all this time is watching and waiting (I love that he lets me fight my own battles - theres nothing worse than a woman that starts a fight and expects her husband to finish is)

I'm just about to answer the neighbour when Darcy - says "i'll tell you how she knows he did it - because I stood there and watched him do it - I was about to say something but Manda seems to be handling it quite well"

Neighbour says "OMG I can't believe it" and then he starts yelling at his mate too.

Then Darcy sees red. And totaly goes for this guy (who is still stood outside the back door smoking my fag).

Needless to say after lots of name calling and people having to jump on both of them to stop the fight, the neighbours cram this guy into a truck and leave. (Two of them - not the twat guy - came round the next morning to apologise)

I hope people will think twice before they take the piss in the future. Actually I hope I see this guy at local events again. Cos he'll get anothe piece of my mind too :)


Can someone clone me please

09:50, Monday 19 August 2013 .. 0 comments .. Link

What the eff

I don't have time to eat, drink, or sleep these days!!!!!!!

A quick recap (and I mean quick)

April - Darcy started buildinng a shop (rigggggggght because he needs another man cave) on the one day in April we get a shitty snow storm


That same day I go to town for supplies, and witness an SUV careering off the road into a slough (pronounced slew - its like a large pool of water). I stop and like a twat go running into the slough to see if the driver is ok. She is - however I'm knee deep in freezing water. Leave the scene after giving details and splodge through walmart for new wellies.

I GET MY PPR woo hoo woohoo and woohoo again.

May and June

Darcy and my good self drive down to the States for a dirty weekend full of shopping and naughty stuff. We did lots of shopping and bought lots of beers back. I didn't kiss the border bloke who gave me my pr cos he looked as though he might arrest me.

I decide I should start looking for a job and apply for a position in Stettler as a financial services manager (much the same as I did at BMO when I first got to Canada.

I also decide that working full time for someone does not give us the freedom to randomly take holidays / weekends away / days off to go shopping whenever you feel like it. However a stable income would be nice.

So after discussing things with Duck I ponder about starting my own business. I did apprentice years ago as a painter so I do actually know my stuff, but building up a client base from scratch - hmmmmmmm this is small town rural Alberta. Client base would be an aged farmer and his fat wife.

Fuck it. I got some cards printed off and the same day that I applied for the bank job I - put some stacks of these in local hardware stores / paint stores and anywhere else that I threatened.

oh oh.

The bank called the next day and asked me to submit the resome to head office.

Double oh oh - a customer at the paint store called and wanted an estimate.

triple oh oh I telephone interviewed for the bank job, went in to see the manager and got offered the ob on the spot.

Quadru................ ok you get it.

Go to a family birthday party - 2 more people call for estimates - which I go and do - and land those jobs, as well as the one for the woman that called first.

The bank sends through the offer letter which I am to sign ..................................................................

Guess what.

I didn't sign it - GULP.

So I am now a fully fledged painter (NOT an interior designer) and cannot believe how busy I am. As of right now I have finished 3 jobs this week, and am currently booking work at around Mid October - with 3 more estimates to do in the next couple weeks.

Heres my FB page! like it if you so wish :)



Darcy is still off work due to shut downs. He's getting on my nerves - and me on his lmao everythings about the bloody shop beinng built and I don't have time for it!!!! I don't wanna come home after a day of painting to start climbing scaffold and screwing tin on thanks very much.

So I come back from work for a few days and screw on some tin.

My daughter flew in from the UK and Darcys son came to stay - so I had a month off (see you can do that when you're self employed!) we went to our usual place down southern AB and also into the states for a great time.

We also did some totally redneck stuff when Darcys neice came to stay

What - what's wrong with filling the back of a truck with water. pffffft some people ;)

Here's me in it - it was pissing well cold


Robyn sadly flew back last week and a cople days after I got right back to work - which os where I will stay for the foreseeable future seeing as I have an inability to say no!!!!!

So - no more weekends lounging around here's a glimpse of my schedule (ps Darcy went back to work after 5 months off - 5 MONTHS - I'm surprised we're still maried ;) !!!!!!!!!!!

This week (Tuesday to Friday) Paint a lake house (Tues night - girl coming to collect a dresser Robyn and I refinished - i'll post pics, Weds night - estimate another ob, go for supper at nana and papas house, thurs night - must do yard work - Friday night - Drive to Saskatchwean to see Darcy for the weekend)

Come home sunday night to prep for a job in Red Deer starting Monday

Monday to Friday paint house in Red Deer  (Full interior 3 floors walls ceining and trim)

That Friday night -  BE meet up.

Saturday / Sunday - go out west for a family reunion

Sunday afternoon come home to prep for going back to the Red Deer place for the following week.



See what I mean about being cloned???? Darcy reckons I should employ a helper. I reckon he can kiss my ass because I'm a bitch to work for and I know I'll end up yelling at someone and then being sued for something or other - so no thanks I'll stay solo (plus its early days who knows what the hell will happen in the winter????)

Phew - so thats about it they are the major things, had a little row with one of the neighbours friends (when I say little row I mean big blazing row, i'll do another blog entry about this)

As promised here's some pics of the makey project (dresser I found at the dump for nothing) thats being sold tomorrow

Before (it was similar to this - actually pretty much identical)

nice eh!!

and here it is done!!!! woohoo one night of staining / painting - sold it for $100!

Heres another project

I luuuurve these tables - so rustic and all that jazz but cost a bomb

So I made one - found some wheels on a really old wheelbarrow - (took a while to grind all the rust off an stuff)

Excuse the paint cans supprting the sides - I can't find anythng to use as the wheels for the ends as yet. Well I can - washing line pulleys - but am holding off in case I find something more vintage.

Looks pretty good eh - weighs a goddam ton though :)

















He Gone!!!!!

10:35, Wednesday 7 August 2013 .. 5 comments .. Link

Darcy went back to work today after 5 months of the rig being shut down.

It was probably a good thing because I think we nearly killed each other a few times. So that means I'll have time to update with the goings on around here, and all the big changes that have happened in the last little while :)


Real life

04:55, Friday 1 March 2013 .. 2 comments .. Link

I love how we all put a spin on how things in our day are going, it's that age of letting everyone know because we think they care about our marvellous day.

So i'll tell you about my day today how it really was (is).

First off if I were going to post a FB update about it - it would say "beautiful sunny day, got chores done now relaxing before I go and visit my husband tomorrow"

Sounds ideal hey. And thats how I want people to view my life so it works.

This is the reality, an insight if you will.

Woke up at around 9, looked at the clock and thought, fuck this, I'm going back to sleep. Then looked at the window because yes the sun was streaming through, and I still haven't found any curtains I like for the bedroom. Great - now all I can think about are curtains I can't find. Checked my phone for emails and texts, and then drifted back to sleep for another hour.

I should really be doing what other rural Canadians do, and get outside at the crack of dawn to feed the animals - bollocks to that they won't starve if their dinner is a few hours late.

Finally rolled out of bed and didn't even get dressed for 3 hours. Put coffee on, and just pissed around on the laptop. All the time I'm thinking - hmm I really should do the pile of laundry, dust the furniture off from where I sanded some doors down a couple days ago, maybe empty the dishwasher, possibly tidy the tools away that are still in the living room from whn Darcy started building the bookcases over a week ago.

Nah, can't be bothered, they're jobs for another day. I'll have coffee.

Soon I got bored with nothing happening in internet land and decided to get dressed.

When I say dressed I mean a long sleeved t shirt, no bra (who's gonna see!) and my coveralls, quickly bunched my hair up in a ponytail, jumped in my shit covered boots and headed off outside.

The donkeys are braying away at the gate waiting for me. So I yell "Oh ffs it's not like you're starving, so you're food is a few hours late" The dogs are jumping around going mental because They haven't seen me outside for 24 hours, so I throw a stick and they run after it.

The neighbour drives by, obviously thinking "why is she doing chores at lunchtime the lazy cow"

I wave and silently tell him to fuck off.

We don't have an automatic waterer for the donkeys, though their trough is heated, so  have to make sure it's full. Or rather I should make sure it's full. It was dangerously low. Oh for the love of god why don't I just fill it with like 4 buckets full every day then I wouldn't have to do it all in one go. I put 4 buckets in there and decided I'd do some more tomorrow. That shit gets heavy hauling it from the outside tap to the trough.

Haul my ass over the fence to the hay shed and the donkeys are following like I'm the pied piper.

Fork a whole load over which should last them a few days.

Walk down to the road to get the mail, hoping that there might be something in there from CIC, but there isn't , and decide that the new insurance docs for the truck that did arrive are a shitty piece of mail.

Came back in the house and warmed up some leftovers for yesterday for a late lunch, and checked in on FB and BE to see if anything exciting had happened in the last 45 mins. It hadn't. Then the internet died.

Are you effing kidding me. Now I have to do something :(

So I put some washing in, and decided to refinish a cuple of calendar holders i'd bought from a local goodwill store. Took an old sheet outside because at least the sun is shining and I can spray paint these bad boys on the deck.

It started to rain.

Well I'm having non of it. These are gonna get sprayed whether its raining or not. Now they have fish eyes in them. Oh well, i'll distress them anyway so that won't matter.

The internet finally came back, and I feel good again, It's an excuse to carry on doing nothing today. My calendar holders are drying in the living room and the place stinks of spray paint. I think i'll have a bath and do my nails in a bit ready for the drive up to Lloyminister to go and visit my hubby tomorrow.

Now I think 'ahh crap' as I'm writing this 'I need to put some power steering fluid in the truck' - but i won't. I'll leave it til tomorrow, the same way that I left going to the dump to get rid of some stuff - that i'll have to do tomorrow too.

I put laziness to a whole nother level, and you know what - for the most part I actually don't care lol

So right now I'm still wearing my coveralls, my hair still is tied up looking like shite, and I possibly have mascara rings under my eyes. Mucho attractivo hey.

Bath and pamper time I reckon, and then an evening in front of the box.

I'll pack my stuff for the weekend tomorrow.






More makey stuff...............

01:52, Saturday 9 February 2013 .. 3 comments .. Link

I made some more stuff :)

It really annoys Darcy that I make things, but I reckon that I feel less guilty paying next to nothing for something, have fun turning it into something else, and then when I get bored of it 6 months down the line, I can get rid of it without feeling guilty.

You can't do that if you spend $400 a piece on bedside tables can you. You have to love them forever, and I get bored of "stuff" very quickly so its a win win.

Anyway, these two projects were for the bedroom, 2 side tables and some or other piece of funky art for above the bed.

So heres what I bought



2 of these babies cost me $5 for the pair but they are pretty crap, although the structure is there, I have some spare 2 x 4's and an idea

and this is what they now look like


Cool eh! I have 2 bedside tables that seriously cost me $5 for the pair cos I had everything else already :)

I was waiting for some inspiration for what to put above the bed, after having painted the room a dark grey and I am loving the whole 70's retro themes that are coming back in, for instance this is stunning


I saw that picture a while back and looked at those mirrors and they are dam expensive. However as luck would have it, a friend of mine told me how she made one (and unbeknown to me the one in the picture abve is homemade too!!!) So I followed her instructions and made my own starting off with the following


Yup you can see right, it's kebab sticks, shims, a mirror and a glue gun. It eventually turned out like this


Excuse the sticky fingerprints, I promise its clean now, it was a bugger to hang!!!! I would have like to have sprayed it silver, but it needed to tie in with the side tables so I stained it :)

All I need to do now is make a headboard and get some new curtains and duvet set to complete the look and i'll be happy with our new look bedroom (and then i'll post pics ;) )










Information is power...............

11:36, Monday 4 February 2013 .. 2 comments .. Link

Remember me saying the tractor died??? Well it did. Something went wrong on the steering and there was oil coming out of somewhere else. So when it stopped, Darcy just got out and said "thats it - i'm getting a bobcat" and the tractor has sat in that position for about 8 months now.

Here she is

or should I say - thats a picture of her as she was when we were given it from Uncle Kelly. It looks like a goddam tranformer FFS. The bucket was waaaaaay too heavy for the front - but it worked and we were happy for a while.

Anyway, I spoke to Darcy on the phone the other day and he said "just get someone from one of those scrap companies to come and get rid of it" And I',m all like "why would you do that, someone might wanna fix it or something? I'm going to put an ad on Kijiji to see if it will sell"

Okay, says Duck, have at 'er.

So I did. t was a funny ad (wished i'd kept it) though I didn't know how much to ask. I mean, how much do you sell a 1956 broken tractor for right?????

Luckly a tractor anorak sent me a long email outling what we have, and how much its worth (he reckoned ask for $1,650 ????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SWEEEEEEET!)

After loads of calls and emails from interested anor........... tractor enthusiasts, some guys from Edmonton decided to come and see it. I told them on the phone that she was waist deep in snow and the lowest I'd go is a crisp $1000 bill. And thats where it was left.

For about half an hour.

Til I got all "holy shit, 2 strangers are coming and i'm here alone. Luckily our phone has caller display, so I quickly Googled the guys name who called

WELL WHAT DO YOU KNOW. (No he wasn't an axe murderer which is what I was looking for actually) He restores and sells old tractors at auction!!!!! Bingo. Bargaining power. Not that I would go back on my price, I'm too honest like that - but if he tries to jew me down, then I'll use the info.

The guys came (super nice actually) they were impressed that the bodywork and original decals were in really good shape, not too bothered about the engine, although the something o other had got water in it and frozen which means that the tractor isn't going anywhere til spring when she thaws out.

Now we come to the negotiations ;)

"So whats the lowest you'll go?"

"I said on the phone $1000, and thats the bottom line"

"Well the gearbox is seized and there are other issues, how about $800?"

""nope" says me "$1000 firm"

"Well ........... you know th.................."

And I stop him in his tracks.

"Listen, I know what you do, and I know you know how much there is to be made from restoring it and selling it on. Because I also know thats what you do."

"How do you know that?????"

"Google is your friend"

"Fuck" he says

And does the deal for $1000 on the spot.

After more reseach the make and model will be worth about $6k when restored. This guy probably has to put in about $2k plus has to haul it from here, 3 hrs up north. So i'm happy with what we got.

But you know what, I'm also happy that she'll end up looking that this

And being the big softy I am for restoration of anything, thats worth more than eeking out an extra $500 from the guy.












11:54, Saturday 2 February 2013 .. 0 comments .. Link

It's been a quiet couple of weeks really. Went for my medicals for immigration, didn't get lost in Red Deer for once which always maks me feel good.

Hell I even played a game with the GPS, it tlls me to go one way and I decide to go another which I know is quicker. It works and I felt clever.

Went through another hissy fit stage of hating everything about here, maybe its the weather - cabin fever - seeing pics on Facebook of my old city cums wearing spangly new threads then looking down at my coveralls and shit covered wellies and bursting into tears, though that soon passed.

Darcy once again, though totally not very good at being all emotional, has been solid as a rock through all of this and keeps me soewhat sane.

OK so you don't know this but between that last paragraph and this one was the space of an hour. We were selling some old closet doors etc from the renos and the people just came to pick them up. Which was nice. Until the fucking dog (Rumble) decided he wanted to jump into their car and not get out.

For the love of god.

Here's me trying to smile politely and explain "he's NEVER done this before" they're all smiling back politey thinking "get your hairy dog the hell out of my minivan"

But he wouldn't come, I had to coax him out with treats and biscuits all while trying to look authorititive, when your insides are screaming "Oh my effing god, what the buggery am I going to do if this doesn't work"

Luckily it did, and oh how we all laughed about it.

They'll probably send me a valeting bill for the hair removal. I should have just given them the doors for free. :(



Some people just don't listen

12:48, Thursday 10 January 2013 .. 3 comments .. Link

After an eventful new year we sadly take Conner back to Calgary on the 3rd Jan. On the way home we stop in at a friends farm because we needed to buy some straw bales for the donkeys. Luckily the friend (his name is Sheldon but his nickname is Slippery (I'll let you work out that one for yourself) had loaded the bales onto a flat deck trailer, so all we have to do is hook the trailer up, tow them home, unload them the next day and return the trailer. It's only 50 bales too so not too bad.

Now we've had quite a lot of snow at our place. As in - it's up to your knees in some parts. And those parts are the parts between the driveway, and the donkey pasture.

The next morning we have brekkie, and discuss how to get the bales up to the hay shed in the pasture.

My suggestion is (please read this carefully) "Under no fucking circumstance, do you attempt to take the truck and trailer, through the snow up to the pasture - there's too much weight, too much snow, you'll get stuck and break something and probably lose you temper. I reckon we should hook the quad up to one of our smaller trailers and haul 4 or 5 bales up there that way at a time"

Did you read that???? Good. Read it again.


Darcy - "Oh hell no that'll take way too long, i'm taking the truck and trailer up there it'll be fine"

Me - "I think you're being stupid, there is no way on this planet the truck will get up there, for the love of god will you just listen once. Leave it where it is and i'll go and get the quad and small trailer and we'll do it that way"

So I go outside to go get the quad. And what does Darcy do?????

Oh yes, you'd better believe it. Drives the truck and trailer in to the middle of the yard and gets stuck. We only think at this time thats it's partially stuck, I'm shaking my head. We pull the quad and trailer up to the stuck truck and unload the bales 4 at a time and take them to the hay shed that way (the way, you will note, that was suggested in the first place. I can't remember who by, but i'm sure it'll come to me)

When thats all over, it's time to get the truck out.

Or shall we say. Not get the truck out.

He's going backwards and forwards and not really moving anywhere but down into deeper ruts in the ground. Finally he yells at me to go and get my truck. I refuse. His truck has way bigger tires with studs in them, mine just has all seasons. There is no way that both trucks are going to be stuck.

After half an hour of us yelling at each other (and this time I did pull the "I told you so" line) My solution is to admit defeat and call a neighbour to bring their tractor out (ours died not long after we did the house renos last year) and help.

Darcy is adamant that isn't going to happen because he thinks the neighbour will think he's an idiot for getting the truck stuck.

Please refrain from laughing.

So he gets back in the truck and is just yarding on it, until it starts making weird noises and smoking from the rear end. (and still not moving).

I have had enough by this point and call the neighbour, who half an hour later comes over with his tractor and rescues our vehicle and our friends trailer.

Now of course is the sticky point of why it was making the noise. Not being mechanically inclined, but having worked at a local GM dealership in town, I call a buddy from there who comes over that night to look at what damage has been done.

Whapang - that'll be a new transfer case then.

I can only shake my head at this point, because (remember when I asked you all to read the comments again???) I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO.

Now we have to replace a transfer case ($2000) and while its out theres some other seals leaking from the transmission etc and some tranny cooler lines that need changing - so all in with my mate doing the work it's about a $4000 repair just cos someone thinks his truck is a tractor.


As an aside it's not just Darcy thats buggered up this holiday. He went back to work today (his bil came to pick him up - they both work on the same crew) and I was bored earlier and decided to knock through one of the bedroom closets which follows through to another closet that we don't really use on the other side of the wall - so we can make the bedroom one bigger?!!! Makes sense right?

Well I got a bit hammer happy and hit a hole through a part of a wall I wasn't meant to.

I'll be fixing that in the morning. Right now it's 1.10am and after all ths updating, I'm not patching drywall at this time of the morning.

We make a good couple do me and Duck hey ;)





aaaaaaaaaaaand its gone.

12:29, Thursday 10 January 2013 .. 1 comments .. Link

The boxing day sales are wicked for, well, saley type things. :)

We treated oursleves to lots of luvverly stuff (which is what we do at christmas, small gift on xmas day each, and then hit the malls to splurge on boxing day!)

In one of the thousands of flyers that come through the door (most of which you bin, or burn right?) there was one for Bass Pro shops. That's Darcys favourite shop ever. If he died, he would want to be buried there. It's really that special.

They had an Ice fishng shack up for sale down from like $900 to $450 (or something) which, if you are looking for an ice fishing shack (isn't everyone??? yeah, don't answer that) is a baragin.

So we buy it.

And the next day he gets it out of the box, loses his patience and goes sledding.

Fast forward a few days and we have the thing set up.

This is it set up

This is what it looks like from inside

And this is what it looks like when its folded down n the back of my truck (notice MY truck - read the next entry for explanation of why Darcys truck isn't being used to plough through snow on frozen lakes)

Wicked eh! Or it would bebecause the photos above do not relate to the day that is in question. As in - the first day we decided to all go out ice fishing.

Its two days after the "ride your sled home" incident. Conner, I and Darcy have the shack set up, loaded in Darcys truck and are excited to get out on the ice. It's bloody cold and very windy. Now Darcys truck has a tool box in the back, which means the shack doesn't sit flat in the bed, but as it's quite heavy he decides that we don't need to strap it down as we aren't going that far.

We are both however, checking the rear view mirrors as the tarp that covers the shack is blowing like a bastard in the wind.

All of a sudden..............


"Holy shit it's gone..........." Darcy yells.

"What the tarp, shit, fuck"


Slams anchors on. We jump out of the truck, and there, 50 feet behind the truck on the road, is the shack.

Darcy LOSES it. Yelling and effing and blinding, though I do resist the urge to say "I told you so" about tieing it down. Now we spend 20 minutes salvaging pieces of the frame - which considering the speed it flew out at, held together quite well, and trying to rebuild it ON THE BLOODY HIGHWAY (have you ever smiled and waved at passing cars, while building an ice fishing shack in the middle of a road???? Let me tell you right now - it's emabarassing.)

Unbelievably, we manage to piece it back together, and only lose one pole. So carry on the journey (strapping the shack down) and go fishing. To top it off though, we don't catch anything.

I'm wondering if he'll ever learn and maybe listen to what his wife says for once ;)














Don't push me

12:03, Thursday 10 January 2013 .. 2 comments .. Link

Now I know my husb works very hard. So, on his downtime I don't deny him one iota of time to play hard if he so wishes (please revert back to the previous two months blogs about hunting).

I'll give him his dues too, I can do whatever I want so alls good there.

However (that's when you know it gets good right?!!!), on boxing day we went to pick his son up from Calgary to come and stay with us for a week. Which, in my mind at least, means Darcy gets to spend time with his son.

But on the second day he was here, all the guys decided to go out sledding, and, as its really only a winter pastime that Darcy doesn't get to do much due to work, we decided to cut him some slackSo Conner and I and his cousin Seth (similar age) spent the day together, and Darcy went out for the day with his mates.

Alls good there.

Or so you'd think.

Because 2 days later, a load of friends are ammalgamating at a local hill, taking their kids / tobbagans / sleds for a day of family (i'll hilight that again shall I) FAMILY, fun. Towards the end of the day when Darcy had spent precisely 5 mintues wih his son and the rest of the time playing on his sled and talking with his mates, the guys decide to go off for a short ride.

This is where the bitch comes out.

I'm like "sorry what???" "Your son is here, you went riding with the guys a couple days ago, exactly how long is a short ride???"

"I dunno half an hour"

(by this time it was 5pm) so I say "fine you have 20 minutes. I'll take the truck and sled trailer back to a friends farm and we'll meet you there to get the sled loaded and go home."

Well, at 5.15pm they decide to leave, Darcy says "Can you give me til 6 o clock?"

I shoot him a "ooooh you are so pushing your luck matey" glance and advise that he has til 6pm and then if he isn't back, we are leaving and he has to find his own way home (about half hour away in a truck).

Well, at 7 minutes to 6 I get a text message. "Be back in 15 minutes"

I respond "Unlucky, you have 7"

And then every minute closer I send a text counting down how many minutes it is til we leave.

Bang on 6 o clock Darcy of course isn't there and I start the truck and head off home. Conner is in the back and says "are we really ditching dad?????"

I'm like "Oh yes we are"

So Conner says "wow Manda, when you say something you really mean it don't you?!!".

About 6.20 I get a text "Where are you? coome back I'm at the farm" to which the obvious reply was "Fuck you"

I was so angry that he couldn't not go with his friends when he has his son here, that I made him ride his sled all the way home (took 2 hrs) in the dark (which granted was dangerous), when he got home he smelled of oil and gas as the sled was overheating. Face like thunder.

Moral of this story? Disappoint your son and your wife will come down on you like a ton of bricks.




07:31, Wednesday 9 January 2013 .. 3 comments .. Link

It's been a while, Christmas and other things and all that.

Lots has gone on so i'll not write it all in one entry. But I'll start the first entry of the year on a sad note.

Just before Christmas, Darcy, his dad, and uncle Kelly went back up North elk hunting. Once again they were unsuccesful (I'm sure this ia a ruse), so decided to come home, drop uncle Kelly off (who had to go back to work) and return for another 3 days.

Which is what they did. So on the 18th December they are up north and I am now faced with bitching and whining about sorting all things Christmas out. On the 19th I went over to my sis in laws to have my hair done and then have some drinkies with her and nana. Which is where we got the bad news.

There was a phone call from Uncle Kelly, his daughter, Darcys cousin, Caitlin had died. She was 22. She had a 1 year old daughter and was getting married this year. She had a heart attack as she was putting her daughter into her car to go and see her fiance for lunch. A neighbour found her laying on the floor by the side of the vehicle beause she wa alerted by the baby's cries coming from the vehicle.

Uncle Kelly and auntie Chris were contacted by the police, and thats when kelly called nana, just after they had left the police station.

You may have gethered from this blog, that Darcys family does everything together. So losing Cait is like losing a sister. I'd not long been to see her and her fiance to take some photos that they wanted to hand out for Christmas, and now one of them was used in the funeral service.

So for the week leading up to Christmas, the season stopped, the family came together and everything was put on hold to support each other.

The most heartbreaking thing I heard over this time, whilst the funeral arrangements were being discussed was Caits fiance, Tim, say "So there will be around 300 people there right? You know when we were planning for the wedding thats the number Cait figured, so she was about right". :(

So this entry is a very sad first one of 2013 and dedicated to a very beautiful lady, who was taken way too soon.

RIP Cait xxxx




........... about your sled........?!!!!!!!!!!

12:19, Saturday 15 December 2012 .. 2 comments .. Link

Finally Darcy has finished for the christmas holidays, I get him all to myself for 4 weeks, just think - all the things that can now get done around the house - oh the list is loooong!

But that has to wait, because he got home Wednesday, and Thursday morning, him, papa and uncle Kelly took off up north again to try and get their elk (for the second time!!!!)

Obviously as the dutiful wife I got all his hunting gear ready to go. This took all of about 5 minutes to bring it upstairs from the basement and pile it in a big heap in the kitchen along with the comment "here's your stuff - sort out what you want to take". Though this time seeing as theres been HUGE amounts of snow up there, they guys weren't taking their quads, they decided to take ther sleds (snowmobiles) instead.

Darcys sled hasn't been started in about a year, so on Wednesday afternoon, papa and Kelly were supposed to be coming over to get it going and load it in preperation, as Duck wouldn't be home til after dark - and - well - I'm not going to start it. You have to pull one of those pully type things and its hard.

It starts to get dark and the guys weren't here yet - so I call Darcy and he says "just take the jerry can out to the shed and fill the sled up - oh and maybe leave a bit of gas so it can be dumped in the plugs too". Pffft, well that sucks it's freezing outside, so I dress up like a bank robber and drive out to where the fun toys are stored. Taking the jerry can of gas.

Do you realise how goddam heavy jerry cans are? and how stupid? I mean, it's all good if you are built like - er - anything but me, but really, lifting up a can of gas and trying to tip it in the hole and hold it while it empties is not easy.

But I did it, and only managed to get a small percentage of gas all over myself and the sled. Well that sucks, because I could murder a cigarette right now. Probably not a good idea. Feeling a bit lightheaded due to the fumes I put the lid back on the now empty gas can. Shit, fuck, shit - it's empty. I was meant to leave some in. Oh well never mind i'm sure it'll be fine.

Daylight has all but gone, and I, all of a sudden feel like I should be able to get the thing started for him - at least that way when papa comes over, it'll be running and all they have to do is load it onto Kellys truck. I mean, how hard can it be? Turn the key, and pull that cord type thing.

Piece of cake.

So i sit on the sled and look around for the ignition, aha there it is, flick - on. That wasn't so difficult. oooooh, what's this??? it's a switch that says 'choke'. Ahhhh well I KNOW this means 'flick this and some gas comes through to make starting it easier'. That'll help. So I flick it, although i'm not sure which way its meant to be flicked. Is it just to the up position, or is it all the way over???? So I flick it to up, ahh fuck it - i'll do it all the way over.


Holy shit I've flicked his switch clean off the bloody machine. OMG he is going to go nuts. I quickly find it about 5ft away on the floor, and balance it back on the machine in a "No, of course I haven't touched it" type way. Turn the sled off and run back to the house, fully prepared to watch papa and kelly try and start it when they arrive and say "oh no, look you've broken the choke?????"

I spent 5 minutes of torment before I decided I couldn't lie to my hubby or throw the other family members under the bus. So I went outside, had a smoke and called Darcy. You know that something is bad when you start a conversation with "Look, don't go mad but..............." right? So I said "Look, don't go mad but I think I may have broken your sled!"

"How do you mean you've broken the sled"

"I didn't say HAVE broken, I said MAY have broken"

"Well whatever, what did you do?"

"Ummm well I thought i'd try and get it started, so I turned it on and flicked the choke switch, and the switch flew off :( "


Oh this is bad, I bet he is just beyond livid cos he can't start the sled and take it hunting now - my mind is filled with the repercussions of the lawnmower incident. Surely a choke thingy isn't that expensive?

"huh, I'll have to do the choke with some pliers because those units are expensive, and a pain in the ass to replace, you have to take the whole thing out - you can't just buy the switch"

Oh crap - this is super bad - he's being calm, this must mean he's just seething.

"Don't worry babe - those switches are crap I've done it myself - it's no big deal"

RESULT, though next time I have no idea what I'm doing, I won't do it.

As luck would have it, Darcy and Kelly turned up at home at the same time, it took about 10 mins to get it started and another 10 minutes to watch Darcy take it for a rip round the yard, before it was loaded up onto Kellys truck ready for the morning.

And thats it - Darcy left at 5am Thursday morning, he is still up North (it's now Friday night) and they still haven't shot anything!

Some things never change ;)








Destroying my stuff

01:39, Thursday 6 December 2012 .. 2 comments .. Link

I haven't updated in a while because, well November is hunting season - and I know most of you don't like that kind of thing - so 90% of the last month has been stuff I can't post about.

Although there was one hunting related incident that is noteworthy.

Picture this, Darcys truck, the other love of his life - was at a buddies place having some front end work done, so the time he was home we were using my truck. Which as trucks go - works, you can switch to 4wd when you want - which I do - lots. It's like - hmm slippy roads - bong - hit the button - yeah traction.

Him on the other hand sees it as an assult to him manhood and keeps it in 2wd unless desperate.

So anyhow, one morning he got up early to go hunting, and I didn't. As in - fuck no i'm not coming, this is getting old - type of not coming. So he leaves, I stay in bed and all is good.

He had a hunting blind set up on some land about an hour away - so thats where he was going. TBH I didn't care, he could have been on the moon, I was satcheying around the kitchen in my slippers thinking I'd by far and away got the best end of the deal.

The phone rings, it's Darcy.

Huh? I think - he must have got something. Well at least he'll come home happy. Here's the conversation starting with me.

"Hey babe, hows the hunting going"

"Holy shit I saw a HOG of a deer, 6 points on each side and his tines must have been easy a foot long, he was a book deer for sure" (meaning he would score over 200 points)

"Oh wow - did you shoot him?"

"well it went like this.........."

For the love of god, I'm thinking, don't you dare start a conversation with 'oh it went like this' - because that means it ends badly.

"How did it go .............."

"well I was driving to the blind through a slip road on the guys land, and I see a doe in the bushes, so I take my range finder out to range how far she is, when she gets up and runs. About 40 feet behind her comes this monster deer and runs right acroos the road in front of the truck and into the field to the right, so I hit the gas and fly down the road to get to the bottom of the field to get around the other side of the field but the truck was in 2wd and I hitt the ditch, and nearly hit a tree. It's stuck and i've called dad and Kelly to come pull me out"

"What???? Are you okay?"

"oh yeah just pissed that the deer got away - I left the truck running in the ditch, grabbed the gun and chased after him in the field but I couldn't find him"

WAIT - WOAH THERE TONTO you left MY truck, wedged in a ditch, for what must have been at least an hour (because I know he would have been searching for ages,)  while you went jollying after a goddam deer???????????????

"I got back to the truck and tried to get it out but it was stuck good, and you need some more coolant in the radiator - oh and a new windshield wiper blade"

So all I say is "well as long as you're ok, I hope you guys get the truck out and manage to find your deer, i'll see you later"

But what I'm really thinking is - how in gods name is my truck out of coolant and eeding a new wiper blade????? You moron, if I'd have ditched his truck - I'd be scared to go home - not phoning him like it was all cool and funny.

So a few hours later he gets home - and I ask him

"How in gods name is my truck out of coolant and why does it need a new wiper blade???????"

It seems he was revving and spinning to get out of the ditch, so much it overheated, and once he had ditched it, and jumped out of the truck to chase the deer on foot - he caught the windshiled wipers so they were going all the time he was chasing this thing. Aside from the fact that there is half a field of dirt and shit all over the hood and the sides of it.

And they never did get the deer.

What can you do but shake your head, because I tell you right now - when I get my new vehicle next year - he is NOT under any circumstances taking that out. He can use old Red as his hunting truck. FACT.







At it again!

12:15, Friday 16 November 2012 .. 1 comments .. Link

Seeing as Darcy told me not to paint anymore walls in the house - I decided to utilise some of the old shit stuff we had laying around in one of the sheds.

Before that though I went online for inspiration.

The reason for this is that finally, the new flooring will be laid over the Christmas holiday upstairs so I can get my vision on track - my vision includes wainscoting / coving and a kind of elegant shabby chic. I need to break this to Darcy gently - or come to think of it - not at all - we'll lay the flooring and then when he goes back to work in the new year i'll do the wainscoting myself. And thats ok cos it isn't strictly painting the walls.

While trawling the interweb, I come across another really cool blog type thing of likeminded ladies with too much time on their hands that make stuff. Well hello kindred spirits :)

And eventually ended up making this wall hanging out of some of the off cuts of barnboard I refuse to throw away, and some paint and screws and glue and shit.

I'm off into town tomorrow so i'm gonna pick up a couple of black wrought iron type handles and screw them to the two wooden jobbies that hold the thing together so it looks like a serving tray :) Though it will be purely decorative, because - well - I made it, so the whole thing is likely to fall apart at the first sight of a side plate and coffee mug.

NOW, with this new found love of using junk to make more junk, I was scouring the local Kijiji site for old shitty furniture and managed to snag these 2 gems for $20 for the both (I pick them up later today)



I know what I want to do with the table - in my mind it will turn out like this (ish)

I found his picture on google



 i'll have that blown up at the local printers so it fits the top of my table, distress the legs and stuff and voila. Athough I do need to get this all done before Darcy gets home and I get the rolled eye treatment.

Actually just looking at the pics now I might not even paint the table - I might just attach the graphic, seal it and leave it as is hmmmmmmmm decisions .............

As for the shelf thingy - I'm not sure what to do with that yet - depending on what size it is (er um yeah I didn't ask the girl that was selling it, I just went "I'LL TAKE IT") - I might modify it (which means paint it) and replace the barnboard mirror above the fireplace, add a few decorative mouldings and make a larger mantle thingy. Not sure whether to put a mirror in the middle or just get some nifty franch graphic - we'll see when we get them home.

I'm quite exited about this :) thoough the excitement will have to wait cos it's papa's birthday tomorrow - so after I go and collect the furniture - it's straight over to the inlaws for som bev-er-arges :) Another bloody family do that Darcy isn't here for :( - never mind i'll take one for the team and drink his share !!!!!






Quckie update on the milk churn ....................

10:39, Monday 12 November 2012 .. 6 comments .. Link

I finally finished it yesterday.

It's weird because 5 years ago living in a UK city my taste in decor would have been your standard Ikea type stuff IYKWIM. Now living out here - you totally get the "country cabin" way that everyone is surrounded by.

I don't even think Darcys deer pictures are tacky anymore (and I have to say when I first moved in one that was hanging in the living room had the tag of "That has got to go" on it  - but now has pride of place in the man cave!!!!!! (so  suppose it did go in a way!) Granted the upstairs (my domain - not that we live on seperate floors of the house lol) doesn't have dead animals all over it - but it is decorated in a slightly more modern country

If Darcy didn't want a deer picture on the churn, I'd have left it plain cream and it would have stayed up here to display flowers in or something - obviously now theres one on the front of it - it goes in the basement hahahaha! God knows what he'll want to do with it - I think maybe it'll go in the spare bedroom on a dresser with some floral shit in it - I had an idea of putting some of his deer horns in it but apparently that wasn't a good idea.

I think i'll just do it anyway ;)

Heres the finished product




CFR Champ

12:15, Sunday 11 November 2012 .. 2 comments .. Link

I'd just like to add another entry to congratulte a close family friend (and relative by marriage but hey this is rural Canada!).

First a bit of history .............

Darcy grew up with a group of close buddies, one of them, Jens (his dad is from Norway) had a son at a young age (17). Jens took on the responsibility and although he and the mum didn't last, he's always been an excellent dad. Jens' younger sister also ended up marrying Darcys younger brother.

Eventually Jens finished uni, and now lives in Calgary, and his son Jake went to live with him a few years back but they have always had a great rlationship with Jakes mum. Jakes maternal grandad was a champion bull rider and Jake took up rodeo at an early age with full support of everyone involved. Jake had loads of success as a bull rider too but last year took up bareback riding. He also won a rodeo scholarship down to the states where he went this year :) continuing to compete in both bulls and bareback.

Yesterday at the CFR (Canadian Finals Rodeo) the biggest rodeo event in Canada (bar the Stampede which is invitational) Jake won overall Champion in novice bareback.

I wanted to share my congrats on here, to a wonderful kid with a great sense of humour, and fantastic work (and play) ethic!

Well done Jake, you're a credit to yourself and your family. 



Making things and not shooting things

11:49, Saturday 10 November 2012 .. 1 comments .. Link

Well the hunt was succesful - for the animals at least, with 4 cow elk tags, 4 hunters and 4 guns you'd think they'd get something. But no, not this time - so the 5 days we were up there consisted of getting up at 5am, walking around in snow, searching for something that was rarer to see than the dodo, coming back to the motel at dark, having a shower, supper, one drink then lights out. All by 11pm!!!!

This piccy was taken after the guys had spotted a herd of elk ranged at just over 900yrds away. They sneaked through the bushes to get closer as nana and I watched from the edge of the field (apparently we would have been a handicap on the stalk, wonder why lol).

Obviously the elk saw them from miles away and started to head off in the opposite direction, just as the guys had managed to get within a semblence of sensible shooting range, and for all their bravado - they fired and missed!!!!! (though I didn't tell you that - if you listen to the stories when we got back you'd think the things were 500 miles away and a heat seeking missile wouldn't have found them - but no - they purely and simply missed) Uncle Kelly didn't shoot because the range on his gun wasn't worth chancing injuring one - he said when they got back "Hell if i'd have hit one of those things it would have been like a mosquito landing on its back". So basically with their expensive long range rifles papa an Darcy are just crap shots.

I spent most of my time asleep while we waited during the day.

Why? I hear you ask.

I'll tell you why.

It's because we were cheap, that's why.

We all decided to cut costs and share one motel room, 2 queen beds and a floor/sleeping bag for uncle Kelly. And 3 Dux men snore very f*****g loudly . And fart in their sleep too. What the hell is that all about.

It was a relief to come home and get a proper nights kip I tell you. And being able to wear deodourant that smells nice. Darcy and the others are going up again for a week or so in December, but I'm not going then, it'll be way too cold and they'll be taking their sleds with them - and if you think i'm going on the back of one of those with my hubby - you need a labotomy.

So as always with Darcy away at work and 8 inches of snow outside I am filling my days with being arty crafty again. Last time he was away I found a really nice colour for the kitchen, so painted it one night. Darcy said it looks wicked but also added "please babe, don't paint any more walls - we've probably lost about 6 inches all the way around the house for the amount you've painted!"

Well if CIC would get their skates on and sort out my visa so i'm allowed to work - this kind of thng wouldn't happen - you can blame immigration Canada for the lack of space in our home.

 Luckily for him I stumbled upon a blog in the week, here - http://gailsdecorativetouch.blogspot.ca/ I think I have died and gone to heaven - here is a woman that makes shit all the time!

Just like me.

Apart from she does it properly, whereas I start out with all the bright ideas I can muster then get bored halfway through the project and start something else.

Undaunted I'm flicking through the pages and find her awesome mantle display that she did for christmas - and as I'm bored and it's nearly (ish) December. I decide to copy it. Here's how my christmas mantel turned out


I am very happy with it and feeling quite festive already (it's wrong to tell you i've started putting the tree up alreay isn't it???)

Also a couple of months ago (don't know if I mentioned it) Darcy and I went to tear down some old graineries, because I like to use the barnwood to make things from (as in the mirror above the mantle!!! and pretty much every other picture / calendar in the house) and whilst we were at the farmers place, we found a few old rusty farm bits. Specifically an old milk churn.

Now I love old shit like this - I don't see it in its current state - I see it finished and looking sweet. So I'm loading the truck up with old wheels and saw blades etc and Darcy says "this shit had better not be cluttering up the garage for years.................."

I'm like "pfffffft what do you take me for - I have grand ideas for this stuff"

2 months later ........................!!!!!

The milk churn looked like this. (this isn't the one - I didn't take a pic of it when we got it - but it was in about the same shape)


So I cleaned, de-rusted and sanded it the best I could, sprayed it with white primer, then when dry, sprayed it with 2 top coats of a cream coloured gloss rustoleum. Painted the handles / top / bottom / middle bands with black, then dry brushed brown and gold over the top. when these were dry I sanded them off a bit to give them a worn look.

Darcy wanted a deer picture painted on it - but I'm not totally a fan of the kind of image he had in mind - so I've compromised and made it country kitchen but still deer like.

This is where we have gotten to today

Tomorrow i'll finish the little 'milk' oval sign at the top, sand off the burgundy lines to distress them (thats why they are 'rough' painted) - and hunt around for some inspiration for a suitable picture to paint on the front. Obviously it has to be wildlife of some sort - but I'm drawing a blank for the right kind of picture to go with the rustic theme yet still keeping my hunter gatherer husband happy.

If I find another milk churn I'll do a cow or a rooster or whatever on it, but for now Darcy wanted this one so I'm presuming he wants it for his man cave. And I reckon it's not going to be filled with milk ;)


Anyway - thanks for reading and i'll update soon with the finished article!









09:26, Friday 9 November 2012 .. 2 comments .. Link

Was going to write something, but my mind has gone blank, or more to the fact I can't be arsed. So I'll write something about the hunting trip soon, oh and about the christmas decorations too ;)

My husband - Johnny Depp

01:40, Thursday 18 October 2012 .. 2 comments .. Link

He's a complex fellow is Darcy. Well to outsiders I suppose, when you look at his family you can tell theres unendng amounts of love between them. But no one ever says it. It's like they are all 1950's men, feelings should be kept surpressed.

Me on the other hand, I have no problem telling someone what I feel / think / at any given time. Which is why it's sometimes difficult to understand why someone like Darcy cannot for the love of god express anything vaguely emotional.

Oh sure he'll tell you if something has been done wrong or criticize, but to him thats a means to an end - ie if I tell you its wrong this time, next time you'll do it right. And then when you do do it right - there's no thanks or praise - it's just that knowing look of "oh ok so you did something the way it's meant to be done, what dya want me to do or say about that?????" He's a put up and shut up kind of guy.

To him life is straightforward. If it needs doing - you do it, and you do it right. It's all about the physical and the cut and dried.

Of course when I came onto the scene he has had to start to slowly learn about mushy things like love, affection, showing gratitude and appreciation. And it scares the shit out of him.

I remember one time last year that I pinned him into a corner and ordered him to say something nice to me, pay me a compliment - anything. You will never guess what he said.

Go on guess.

I'll wait.

Was it "I don't need to say anything nice I think you are beautiful all the time..........." or other such lip service????

Was it bollocks.

He said the following (with an immense look of fear in his eyes too I might add) - and I quote - word for word......................

"Your lipstick is shiny."

I'm sorry what? I don't think I heard that quite right? Did you say my lipstick is shiny??? What school of charm did you go to that said "the best way to win over a womans heart is to compliment the sheen of her mouth covering".

Course I burst out laughing because that's how Darcy is and that's why I love him. There's no bullshit it's just straight talk. You never really know if he is hurting inside until it starts to show, and after a while you get to know those signs. And he is totally incapable of expressing these feelings. Totally.

When he needs or wants to say something he has a look that can only be described as Edwards Scissorhands. And it's heartbreaking. You know that in his throat are all the words he wants to say but when it comes for time to get them out they all get stuck and jumbled up to the point of choking him, and then something totally random comes out instead, and then he gets more upset because that isn't what he meant to say at all.

This is why, before he left for work yesterday - he gave me my birthday card, and when he gave it to me he said "I picked it because of what it said."

and it says

"In my heart I wonder why it often seems to be, I can never say the things that really mean the most to me. I wonder why it seems when I find the words at last, the perfect time for saying them to you has long since passed.

I wonder how to tell you all you've brought into my life - the daily joy of having you beside me as my wife. I wonder and I hope that you can read my heart and mind, and see the love, the feelings, for the words I cannot find."

And underneath he writes

Thank you for everything, I couldn't do it without you. Love you forever - Darcy.

I cried like a baby.

So everytime I feel the need for reassurance, I'll read this card and think of all the things he does for me. It doesn't  have to be diamonds or flowers or expensive bottles of wine - it's the little things like making sure my truck is always runnig straight, making sure I'm warm when we get into his truck on a cold day by turning my seat warmers on 10 mins before we leave, and most of all for just being himself.

{ Last Page } { Page 1 of 3 } { Next Page }

About Me

My Profile
My Photo Album



Recent Entries

I'm leaving :(
Upsetting the neighbours
Can someone clone me please
He Gone!!!!!
Real life