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The ups and downs of our planned new life to NZ, warts and all!

Update from the nutballWed 29 April 2009
Nicest people in the world award goes to 'Wiz n Ton'!  You guys...seriously....Just too nice.  Anywhoo, how's it going over here on the set of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, I hear you ask?  Actually, really rather normal.  I take my daily meds like any other good nutter.  I've attended a meeting with the pscyhiarist (really should learn how to spell that word), and he's impressed with the result of the medication I'm on.  My blood tests came back and there's nothing alarming in there, so it really is all in my head.  The weekend, I kind of wandered like around like a zombie.  I dragged my fists along the ground and groaned a lot, so basically I just looked like any other New Zealander!  I still feel irritable at times, but the so called highs and lows haven't occured over the last few days.  Yesterday I tried to push my brain into a state of mania (hey, come on, we all want to know if these drugs really work) and then by evening I tried to bring on suicidal thoughts.  I know, it sounds crazy, and its probably not the most accurate way to test the medication, but its MY way!  And on the whole, I just feel normal.  Concentration is still tough, and I feel a bit dizzy at times, but mostly, yep, I feel normal.  Although I appreciate that might be (said in deep grovelly voice), the illness.  But hey, I'm happy with that for now.  So, what does a person who's life dramatically changed, takes meds, etc do at a time like this?  Yes, I booked myself a nice little holiday!  I've arranged to stay in a log cabin somewhere remote, with lakes and forest in the South Island.  I'm headed on May 18 and Steve's coming down May 21.  I didn't want the girls to be without one of us for too long and so this was the compromise.  Then its like a long weekend and we've not done that without the girls for...well....I can't remember.  I'm taking my textbooks with me so I can read and study - hopefully if my rusty old brain holds out for me.  No, I haven't told the health professionals, but do you ever just feel the need to get away?  I just fancy, dare, I say, getting back to nature.  Taking long walks, breathing in the fresh air, watch the moon reflecting on a lake.  I don't want to hear boy racer exhausts, I don't want to be stuck in the 'burbs, just for a few solitary peaceful days.  I would never tell my friends here what's been going on - just the strangers that read my blog!  They need me for their own issues, but I think banging my head like Rain man in the airport may be too much for them.  I don't want anyone to worry and I'm tired of answering the phone with my professional voice and doing that bitter, hollow, stepford wife chuckle down the phone.  I'm really excited about this time away, hopefully it'll give me a chance to refocus and come back fully charged, ready to battle swine flu!  ah well, onwards and upwards as they say, long may my positive focus remain.

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