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The ups and downs of our planned new life to NZ, warts and all!

Stupid, yapping little barstard!Mon 28 July 2008

I saw the midwife who has told me that the baby is incredibly low and has 'assumed the position.'  So it seems this little blighter is dead keen to break free as much as I'm keen to evict her!  Unfortunately my vice like cervix is blocking the way!  Grrr!  Little change on that front, so my body is resisting the contractions with great pains.  I'm just starting to come down with a cold, so I'm feeling very under the weather, even more insanely tired and extremely uncomfortable.  I either can't sleep because of pelvic pain, toilet breaks, or for some reason my eyes just pop open and my body thinks its time to start the day at 3am.  However, I have sent away my first assignment on time, yippee!  I've trying to master an essay, but my god its boring. I thought learning about poverty stricken countries would be interesting, but at the moment I'm reading about bloody economics and theories and scary concepts like free markets, GDP and other such like.  Its Steve's area, and he loves it but my attempts at offering sexual favours to do my assignmemt are rapidly failing!  Guess that only worked when I was 18!  I'm even more emotional than normal, which is saying something!  We heard about this bed sale on the radio and so by chance drove over to have a look as we're considering a new bed for Moons.  Although there wasn't a suitable one for her, they had this cute little princess one which would be great for Pip in a couple of months.  The salesman really put the hard sell on us, he wondered off as we ummm and errrd about.  Afterall, it would be stuck in the garage for a few months, so it wasn't terribly urgent. Sensing he might lose a sale, he came back with another offer.  Our hesitation was not the amount, but for some reason he wanted to practically give it away.  Finally he came back to offer a free mattress with the bed.  I actually started to cry!  I felt so pressured and I just wanted to be left alone!!  I was so embaressed, I waddled back to the car while Steve made the purchase. 

I had a text from the psycho Nanny over the weekend.  She's out on bail, pending a hearing end of August.  I don't mind the odd text from her, I do miss her as crazy as that sounds.  She also declared her new, shocking news, she's pregnant!  She claims its a shock, but its not for me.  She's got this really irritating view on Motherhood with such high school niavety, to her its all about wearing flowery dresses, having this little bump, radiant skin and lucious hair.  Pushing out the baby to a degree of pain only slightly worse then having your ear piereced, and then having this buddy to carry around, that you can dress in cute clothes.  She used to say all the time how lucky I was to have two girls that I could buy pretty clothes for.  I just wanted to hit her repeatedly with a frying pan.  She never did a full day's work for us, so she never experienced the tantrums, the mess, the noise, the lack of lie in, the radical impact on social life.  My god has she got a shock!  Baby's are easy to palm off at the start, but when you want to get out there on  a Friday night and stagger home on Saturday afternoon, there isn't anyone around offering to babysit!  Especially during the dreaded colic stage!  Unfortunately, she's also a rather vain type, so stretchmarks, vericouse veins, saggy/leaky boobs, saggy tummy, sickup stains, cankles, etc probably won't go with her new Gucci dress.  I feel so sorry for her parents. 

Anyway, the Nanny is settling in.  Although I'd rate her as 'competenet.'  Nothing more, nothing less.  She likes to talk about weird, random things, but not about the job or the children.  She only smiles when she's talking about her family or when she thinks she's said something funny.  Moons finds her dull and often begs to accompany Steve or me when we leave the house.  Pip doesn't care as long as she's fed, she'd be happy with a mute/deaf monkey as her carer.  Steve really struggles with her.  He's an amiable, laid back guy, but he struggles when he encounters someone that repeatedly asks dumb questions.  I just answer them and have a chuckle later.  Steve is just shy of slapping his face in shock and asking if she's serious.  Its a rather uncomfortable rapport between the two of them, but she seems to really like him, even though he's often running out the door when she approaches him. 

There is a really irritating yappy dog somewhere on our road.  It yaps all day, and sometimes at night.  It must be a chihuahua or something equally as annoying.  Because we live on a HUGE hill its really hard to work out where its coming from.  Today saw me driving around trying to find the little barstard.  I often fantasise about having one of those guns with the red dot, finding it, and then pointing this red laser dot on his forehead, and....you can guess the rest.  OR I picture myself lacing meat with a very strong sedative and chucking it over the fence on a daily basis to get some peace.  I don't know how owners can let their dogs bark all day, every day.  I wonder if they are just deaf to their own dog's bark, or if they don't care.  Trust me, Sam won't dare bark!  That's the first thing I always train a dog.  Steve has been training Sam some pretty cool tricks, which I'm surprised about because on the whole, he's a pretty dumb dog, but he's doing really well.  He's getting his final vaccination tomorrow morning so I can walk him on the beach, as long as there aren't any Mongrel Mob around! 

I can't find this ridiculous yappy dog, but I can hear it.  When Steve gets back I'm going to use the GPS system on his phone to cover all the local streets.  I shall not rest until I find this sod.  Oh and I won't snap its neck when I find it, I'll just call the council! - Just in case anyone reads this and thinks there's a mad pregnant woman on the loose out to kill an innocent dog!  - I know what these barmy vegetarian, tree hugging types are like!


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