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Old Apr 18th 2010, 7:39 pm   #16
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Default Re: Met The Girl Of My Dreams - But Shes American!

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Hi Civil servant

I'm a 'not so civil servant' myself! I work for the DWP here but only for another two weeks, then I'm off to Charleston SC as soon as possible. I followed the IR-1 immigration route and just got my visa last thursday
If there are any questions I can help with, please feel free to drop me a line. Good luck!
That's interesting, I worked for the DHSS and then the DSS before it became the DWP.
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Old Apr 18th 2010, 10:28 pm   #17
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Default Re: Met The Girl Of My Dreams - But Shes American!

Have you ever met her or is she an internet girlfriend?
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Old Apr 18th 2010, 10:33 pm   #18
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Default Re: Met The Girl Of My Dreams - But Shes American!

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Have you ever met her or is she an internet girlfriend?
lol no she's real. I wouldn't move to the US having never met someone
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Old Apr 18th 2010, 11:25 pm   #19
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Default Re: Met The Girl Of My Dreams - But Shes American!

You have been dating for a year ? ... how many dates have you been out on with her in that year ?

Forgive me but I have seen so many people who fall in love on the web, eventually give up everything and move over then realise they have mad e really big mistake
Then it's too late to go back, the relationship dies and they have ruined their life.
There was one bloke about 2 years ago who fell in love with some woman in Kalamazoo and left his wife and kids because he was going to spend his life with this woman, he lost everything, came over and she put him in a hotel because she hadnt told him she was still with her husband ... who was not a happy camper, he stayed 2 weeks then went back to his wife...... three weeks later he was in love with another US citizen from some other city.

Internet sex is not dating

When you have been dating in the flesh for a few months ... then tell us she is amazing
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Old Apr 19th 2010, 12:09 am   #20
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Default Re: Met The Girl Of My Dreams - But Shes American!

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That's interesting, I worked for the DHSS and then the DSS before it became the DWP.
I'm not a devotee of the civil service unfortunately... I'm only there because I was made redundant from my real job in telecoms! Any port in a storm... as they say...
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Old Apr 19th 2010, 11:50 am   #21
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Default Re: Met The Girl Of My Dreams - But Shes American!

Long distance dating over the internet is a bit mad. However, if I'm totally honest (although we obviously met in real life first) my misses and I were together at uni for only about 2 and a bit months before we embarked on a long distance relationship for about a year. Looking back at the months of separation, having to somehow conduct a semi-normal relationship through windows messenger, spending thousands on dealing with immigration stuff and queuing up in at the government offices in Croydon with the asylum seekers I do look back and wonder what the hell I was thinking. On the other hand, i've been married for nearly four years now, i'm happy as larry and can't honestly say I have any regrets. Sometimes the best thing in life to do is not the most sane or rational.

I think you need to be aware of all the possible pitfalls. There aren't any hard and fast rules to whether it will work or not. I remember one guy I used to know at work got together with some gal from the southern USA he had never met. She turned out to be the size of an SUV, which he was fine with, but then she turned out to be some kind of fantasist who faked a pregnancy and then pretended she had had a miscarriage; so that one ended in tears.

On the other hand someone else I know (in the same company) met some bird on the internet from the USA at around the same time and that worked out (married five years now). My cousin met someone in 'second life' of all places (he owns a virtual nightclub!?!) and now they have moved in together. So while ones initial reaction when someone tells you that they are dating someone they have only met online is to say what the f**k are you doing! I don't know that the success/failure rate is any worse than it is normally.
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Old Apr 19th 2010, 11:56 am   #22
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Default Re: Met The Girl Of My Dreams - But Shes American!

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It would, but she has commitments that I just dont have...
Plus it is a great time to be quitting the civil service what with the 10% job cull on the horizon!

I still think back that glorious summer five years ago when I 'worked' at Nottingham City Council.
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Old Apr 19th 2010, 12:01 pm   #23
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Default Re: Met The Girl Of My Dreams - But Shes American!

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Plus it is a great time to be quitting the civil service what with the 10% job cull on the horizon!

I still think back that glorious summer five years ago when I 'worked' at Nottingham City Council.
Hang on- I said (and I'll say again) that we have met, we spent 6 months nearly inseperable before she moved back home (which we always knew was going to happen) and I've been there a couple of times since then. I'm not expecting this perfect world, it's a relationship we have to work on, but I dint understand all the negativity. Give me a little credit. What a positive forum this is.
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Old Apr 19th 2010, 12:05 pm   #24
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Default Re: Met The Girl Of My Dreams - But Shes American!

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Hang on- I said (and I'll say again) that we have met, we spent 6 months nearly inseperable before she moved back home (which we always knew was going to happen) and I've been there a couple of times since then. I'm not expecting this perfect world, it's a relationship we have to work on, but I dint understand all the negativity. Give me a little credit. What a positive forum this is.
Oh well, sounds similar to my situation five years ago then. (actually better than mine since you had been together 6 months rather than two and a half) In which case I would be a hypocrite if I didn't say 'go for it!'.

Didn't mean to sound negative. It's not been an easy ride at times but well worth it in the end.

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Old Apr 19th 2010, 11:24 pm   #25
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Default Re: Met The Girl Of My Dreams - But Shes American!

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Hang on- I said (and I'll say again) that we have met, we spent 6 months nearly inseperable before she moved back home (which we always knew was going to happen) and I've been there a couple of times since then. I'm not expecting this perfect world, it's a relationship we have to work on, but I dint understand all the negativity. Give me a little credit. What a positive forum this is.
You don't have to reply to any of these posts if you don't want to. You may find a more like-minded audience in the marriage based visa forum, since all of us there went through the K-1 or immigrant visa process based on a relationship. Many met online and nurtured LD relationships as well, or did other foolish things like getting married nearly moments after meeting (8 year anniversary coming up soon though!).

You haven't put out much information, so people just fill in the blanks. IMO there's just as many hits as misses with internet dating/meeting vs real life, and you'd be amazed.. yes, there are some people who would move + marry w/out meeting in real life (not generally recommended!).
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Old Apr 20th 2010, 12:52 pm   #26
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Default Re: Met The Girl Of My Dreams - But Shes American!

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I'm not a devotee of the civil service unfortunately... I'm only there because I was made redundant from my real job in telecoms! Any port in a storm... as they say...
Don't knock it. I was never a fan............but it paid well........I moved on to PWC. I wish you all the best in your new love!
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Old Apr 20th 2010, 6:59 pm   #27
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Default Re: Met The Girl Of My Dreams - But Shes American!

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Don't knock it. I was never a fan............but it paid well........I moved on to PWC. I wish you all the best in your new love!
A little bit of fred drift there I think I wasn't the original poster with the 'new love', although I did meet my USC wife online about 15 years ago! The pay with the DWP is not that good BTW... I'm earning now what I used to make 15 years ago as a telecoms tech!
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Old Apr 23rd 2010, 4:21 pm   #28
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Default Re: Met The Girl Of My Dreams - But Shes American!

hi civilservant..i too have met the man of my dreams and he 's a kiwi living in NZ...uugghhhh...im trying to get over there ...i have a job to go to but the immigration system sucks ...i tried to get a work visa but all the beaurocratic red tape 'computer says no' has scuppered me...so, im now going to apply for full residency and see what happens...meanwhile..it all costs an arm and a leg and you dont even know how successful you're gonna be....
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Old Apr 23rd 2010, 6:33 pm   #29
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hello nice to meet you i am karen
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