kodokan

At the very least, I think it'll get better in a month or so because of weather and more things to do. Do you have a holiday planned this summer? I'd strongly urge NOT going back to the UK; instead, start a family list of US places you'd like to visit. What are your daughter's interests? If my son hated it here, I'd definitely be able to sell him on 'sure, but being in the US means we can at least go to the Smithsonian...'

It'll almost certainly be better at school next year, too. There's a summer break magic that makes the 'new kid' status wash away, so that when you go back, you too have a crowd to hang with, people to wave to across the playground, you get to claim your lunch table for that semester, etc. You fit in.

scrubbedexpat099

Most people will never pay it back, especially if they leave the country.

agent welsh

So to hear things are a bit ruff in Michigan.

Immigrating is hard, even harder when your having a hard time and need to support children through it. I have been in England for 11 years, my American accent still gets comments and stares around Sainsburys.

My 13old at time of move had a really difficult time adjusting. We all wanted to leave and go back to the USA, (even my British DH). We had a long talk and decided that life sometimes is about learning how to get through tough times. We stayed to try to set a good example for our children. (I admit over the years I go through phases of being thankful to regret over that)

Time does heal.

We are now going to move back to NJ. Everyone thinks I should be overjoyed. However I am not. I know it will be hard all over again.

charlas

Whenever I'm in the US, I don't think I've ever been asked if from Australia, but I do get comments on my 'Posh Accent' which I take as a nice thing.

scrubbedexpat099

Brummie?

charlas

Thankfully not, although the OH is from Cannock... But not quite a real Dudley black country accent, some of her friends though!....

scrubbedexpat099

I am surprised they could understand Dudley, met a lady who moved to Australia 30 years ago, I though West Bromwich and I was right.

charlas

Oh when her and her friends get together I pretty much have to decode what there on about, understanding one word in 3 is not uncommon....

kins

I really agree with this. I also live in a northern state and I hate Feb/Mar/Apr. Especially when it's cold and snowy like this April. But summer is absolutely wonderful.

markcst

I had that for the first two months, but both my kids have got into a routine and are happy. I wouldn't say ecstatic, but happy.


Once I got my wife mobile with her own car, then that made a massive difference to her and to me. She can do the school runs, shopping when she likes and isn't tied to a very nice, but quiet neighborhood.


A big plus for her is not working. She wants to, but on her terms so she now has that luxury. Being home at weekends (she used to work Saturdays) is better for both of us. We probably do more together on weekends than we ever used to do.


As a husband and father I have made extra effort though. I realized everything would be new, different and difficult. So we do a few things we never used to do here, like trips to the cinema, eat out at restaurants etc. The point was that this newer/better life has to be that for all the family or what was the point in moving in the first place, and I have a responsibility to deliver all that good stuff to the family, not just me through my better job.


Ironically the kids love our first Grill of the year. BBQ's used to be special at home (and very rare). In Texas, when at home, a daily grill is how I wind up the day!




And yes we get asked if we are Australian...

Marc_ely

Australian... yes, all the time. I think Americans don't often have a very good ear for accents, maybe because there is (to me at least) not much difference in regional accents. Not like the UK where you can span several quite different accents in a short distance.

We have found that friends are found in the most odd ways. Shortly after we moved over we bought a patio set off Craigslist. The people we got it from were Brit crazy and we have become friends and now socialize.
You can't make friends if you stay in on your own. Do as many different things as you can.

My kids are younger and adapted very quickly.
15 is a tricky age anyway. All it will need is one good friendship to form, but they have to get out there are meet people to form it.

Pulaski

Maybe it's the barbie?

Bayleaf_01

I've been in SE Michigan for almost 4 years and , yes, it does get better! We are from newcastle, so have strong accents as well. I've been asked if I'm Australian, South African, New Zealand and THEN English. Even to this day people who I've known for a few years still say they want my accent and try to mimic it. I must admit, I hate it!
We arrived with a 6 and 7 year old, so a bit younger. We had 4 months before they started school due to the timing and LONG summer. That first summer was hard. DH at work and me and 2 kids and no friends.
Things do get better, we have made friends, got involved with scouting, which helped the kids adapt and fit in (neither of them are sporty)

The biggest thing that helped me was finding a job! Adults to talk to really helped me.

LizzyDennis

Been here since 1975 and still asked if I am Australian!! I always thought it was because I came from the London area (council house material), but since you're from Leeds maybe not. I came over here single and with a job, then met and married an American. At first it was great....like a working vacation...but then when I realized I was staying it became tough for a while in that not seeing my folks much, drifting apart, having to adapt (and I think it's important to adapt). Loss of a shared history with Americans, grieving over the loss of living parents, on and on. I love it now...wouldnt move back, got citizenship, have three American sons so now I'm part of the American picture. I now have a harder time with how negative the British are towards Americans (having lived amongst them for the last thirty plus years). Years back I met a gal in the early stages of living here and she said she'd never stay, but she did. Loyalties are mixed at first, it's just a process I think. It's a good life here. Your daughter would be doing these things if you moved to Cornwall. Tell yourself you're not going to stay, your going home and meanwhile you are going to just enjoy the time....like a long vacation.

andy1138

Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter is having a tough time adjusting. I'm from East London and have lived in the US for 15 years. Initially on the East Coast in Connecticut, then work brought us to Pennsylvania. I now live in Arizona with my American wife and two kids and love it out here. When I first moved here, there was a period of time between roughly 3 weeks and 4 months where you do go through some strong feelings of homesickness because it feels like a holiday initially, then you're still very much away from all that you know and love. The post 4 month (for me at least) got easier because you start to find things that you love and stop missing things that you realize you can do without.

The Australian accent is hard to distinguish for some Americans who haven't travelled or known anyone with the same accent, South African is another close one I sometimes get. I worked with a South African man for a while and we used to refer to each other as fellow Aussies because it would happen a lot to both of us, so it became a joke and when someone asks me if I'm a Brit, I thank them for not identifying me as Australian (not that there's anything wrong with it), which in turn becomes a conversation point.

Little things help like familiar food items, getting Tetley, PG-Tips or Typhoo was a God send. Same with dairy milk and hob nobs. Most of which you can get on Amazon now.

I would definitely recommend being pro-active in finding friends or joining meet up groups, I don't know about MI, but there is a Brits ex-pat group that gets together in Phoenix for curry nights and cricket games etc. Maybe there are similar things in MI. You will also find some American friends that will love to learn about England and enjoy the British sense of humour and culture.
The key for me, was to be pro-active and go out and do things, enjoy things that I couldn't do in England or were different. I've made a lot of friends along the way, some I've kept and some that I didn't.
You're still fairly early into your move, so keep your chin up and be patient with yourself and your kids. It DOES get easier. If you can, get your daughter involved with activities that she's interested in outside of school. That way, she'll make new friends as well as do something she likes. It will prevent her interaction at school and with school kids the "make or break" thing that decides how her day goes.

Good Luck and know you're not on your own. Most of us on here have been there in one way or another.