Kat88

Does anyone have any advice on dealing with homesickness?

I have my interview shortly and I am worried about missing my family when I move away. I have lived away before, but always been able to see them every month of so. Now it will be every 6 months or so.

I know that being with my Fiancée will take away much of the pain, but I know my family will find it very hard, which will in turn make it difficult for me.

BigBoss1984

I think I'll be dealing with the same thing when I move to the United States from the UK - I think in todays world with so many means of communication and keeping in touch like Facebook, Instant Messengers such as Skype which has voice and video call capabilities etc. it can help take the edge off of missing them so much!

Hummingbird25

I think I will also be in this position in the future, i have 7 siblings and we are all close. But I manage 6 months (sometimes) away from my other half, who's American. As mentioned, there's always skype. It's not the same but I think it's something you will get used to over time. Good luck with everything

ian-mstm

Perhaps a moderator can move this thread to a more appropriate forum, since it's not related to immigration.

Ian

kins

Exactly this. The first time I moved abroad you could phone home on a landline or send letters/postcards but not much else. Now you can stay in touch really easily.

I started using Facebook not long after we arrived and I put loads on there so that family and friends can keep up, even the non-techies.

Nutmegger

And I have often said that it is possible that all the means of instant communication available these days can spur some people to miss family more. When I moved to the US and one had to book a phone call in advance, and then it cost the earth, it rather forced one to just move on and get on with one's new life, making new friends and becoming integrated in the community.

Pulaski

As Ian has, correctly, pushed this thread out of the immigrants forum, I will channel him for some advice. Kat, if you're old enough to get married you really should stop worrying too much about what your family think and how they will take it as you venture across the Atlantic and start your new life with your spouse.

As others have said, there are many ways and opportunities to keep in touch with people thousands of miles away (and as Nutmegger said, I suspect that for some people it makes the problem of homesickness worse), but you really shouldn't allow concerns about what you think other family members might think about you moving away, to hang over you like a cloud. I am fairly certain that my parents would have been aghast to think that I had restricted the opportunities I had taken just so that I could stay close to family members.

civilservant

I agree with Pulaski. My Gran was very disappointed that I moved, and now she has lung cancer and is seriously ill. Of course my instinct is to be with her (she basically raised me) but you cannot live your life for other people, you have to do what makes you happy.

I've had a few pangs of homesickness, but nothing major.

Kat88

Thanks everyone for your advice. It's nice to hear about others' experiences as it makes me feel less alone. I'm moving away because I am in love, not because I'm a tough explorer type (although I've done my share of travelling too!), so sometimes I need some reassurance. :P

Also I'm sorry for posting in the wrong place. Newbie here.

Weeze

Teach people to use Skype or FaceTime before you leave. Throw yourself into your new life. Try and make a mix of American and expat friends, but not solely expat friends. Try and accept that, with time, those you were close to in the UK won't be as close to you anymore. Friends will maybe stop bothering to make contact. Family may not put the effort into visiting that you do. If you have thrown yourself into your new life it makes that easier to deal with.

sparkleandglitter

Hey Kat,

About a month after moving here. We both (USC spouse and I) relocated here and it has been tough (mostly dealing with the paperwork renting a place, getting bank accounts etc) because he has never lived in the US as an adult. Had a few days where I felt overwhelmed and homesick for that reason. I've spent a study year abroad, but at least you're in a community then, and there is a lot of support. It's odd how it feels so different when you're moving for good!

Other people have made some great recommendations on keeping busy, making an effort to make friends, and setting up free messaging apps. Sometimes it's super nice to be able to text using iMessage or Facebook Messenger. My best friend back home and I can't be as close but we can send each other pics of what we're up to and share our thoughts on shared TV shows.

I'm going to be taking everyone else's advice here and joining a meet-up group for my particular interest.

penguinsix

We specifically bought my mother-in-law an iPad just for Skype and then we rigged up a virtual 'window' that lets her peek in to our living room whenever she wants. She watches our kids a couple hours a day. It's her favorite show.