JayJay1122

Hey there.

So, I currently live in Plymouth, UK and my dream since I was in school was to move to the United States and recently, that dream has become more apparent to me since i'm talking to this girl, from the states on Skype and I think I like her.


Now, here is the deal, I don't know where to start by doing this, I mean do I go and visit the US and maybe meet her up first or do I just start filling in forms. Is it even likely for me to move over to the States? Am I getting too over my head? I mean I'm currently training to be a Level 3 IT Technician and might go to university, maybe a uni from US will take me on?

How much money I would need for everything in total would be great aswell if one of you can be a lad.

Thank you,
Jay.

Pulaski

Well first I'd arrange to meet her face to face, but if things work out for you, you're on the right track.

Can it work? It did for Mrs P and me, and for several others here on BE. It'll take some time, and probably a couple of trips to London for the medical and visa, but it's certainly doable. I think the fees and what have you will run about £1,500-£2,000 these days.

On the career front, I'd strongly recommend getting a degree because it's tough in the US to get a good job and advance your career without one. It makes little long term difference where you get it in most cases, but if you're going to settle in the US an American "college" (incl uni's) might make good sense. You could even get a student visa, which would give you several years to work out if you really like living in the US, and to decide if your relationship is going to last when you're both living on the same continent!

JayJay1122

I'm glad it has worked out for you two, i'm very committed and willing to sacrifice to get into the US, i'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment.

If I go over and see her, that would be more money from my pocket I could be saving to actually move over there ( The £1,500 - £2,000 ) and if I should finish my course i'm doing right now and just try for work to get the money.

The fact is, I can't leave the whole plan too long or for it to drag because at the end of the day, Long Distance Relationships are not very good and she might lose interest in me. Although I would be interested in perhaps getting a Student Visa and maybe going to a American college (Since I am around the age of doing so).

So, should I rush the course I am doing and just try and get the money and then do the plan, or should I try and find out about a Student Visa and maybe getting into an American College, if so where would I start with this?

Thank you for the good answer by the way

sir_eccles

Ok, slow down. Many of us here have gone through long distance relationships and can generally attest to the fact that they are stronger for it. If a relationship can't withstand a bit of waiting well maybe it won't withstand much else either. Take your time, meet up with her, finish your qualifications, get a job, if she's worth it then she'll still be there.

Nutmegger

Sadly, if that is the case, it just wasn't meant to be. People on here have gone months and even years without seeing one another and the relationship has survived and flourished. A good friend of mine met someone she was convinced was "the one" online recently. Their first meet-up took place at the weekend and what she thought was going to be wonderful, wasn't. Of course, it could have gone the other way, but why don't you meet up first, and then start worrying about logistics.

SanDiegogirl

First of all, if you are thinking about doing a degree in the US, do you have tens of thousands of pounds to pay for a college education in the States?

Higher education is one of the biggest financial headaches most US citizens go through.

So unless you have the money or are qualified to get a scholarship etc to assist then I don't think this is going to be feasible for you based on the information given in your current postings.

You certainly need to meet this girl (you won't get a visa without proving an ongoing relationship), you'll need money for visa fees, and SHE would have to prove that she can support you in order to sponsor your visa. The visa process takes around 9 months - so it's not a case of filling out a few forms.

Considering you have not even met, yes, I think you a way ahead of what you can do realistically.

hoffage123

Like the others have said, you are putting the cart before the horse, so to speak. I would suggest that you do yourself a favour and make sure that you meet the girl at least once before deciding to uproot your life.

All the other advice about getting a degree, having enough savings etc all apply. Be prepared to wait - she needs to be prepared to wait too; think about the possibility of things going seriously wrong and you not having a safety net to fall back upon - this isn't mean to discourage you, but just open your eyes to the reality before you embark on a long and complex process.

Best Wishes,

Hoffage

JayJay1122

Thanks for the good reply's lads, had a little think about what to do and I am jumping the gun a little, I want to see if she is serious about this and just wait until I finish up my course in the UK and getting enough money to fall back on if this doesn't work out.

Thanks

Jay <3

Bob

Why?

You've been asked/told about some of the practicalities to ponder, but what makes you want to move here and where in particular over here?

Anyway, welcome to BE and good luck

kevntrace

I would recommend this approach. Get your IT degree in the UK first, as it can be recognized in the US through an equivalency program (there are companies that do this). Secondly, the degree also opens the possibility of the H1B visa - not that that is simple either, but it gives you more options. And if everything goes pear shape, you still have a UK degree at the end of all this.

You definitely need to meet the girl face to face and figure out if you are compatible with each other.

BTW I am also from Plymouth. Been in the US for 20 years now. I had the reverse problem from you. Met a lass from Plymouth I fell for while living and working in Cambridge, then moved over to the US without her (she would not come with me unless marriage was on the table).

Long story short, we got married 2 years later then she moved to the US. We are still together and happily married.

Sally Redux

So the new definition of 'good' is 'what I want to hear'.

Sarah

Seconded. Why do you want to come to the US? Have you ever been before?
The fantasy and the reality are two vastly different things.