Noorah101

My condolences.

Rene

yellowroom

Of course, that's one solution. But I've never been in the position to have to request a bereavement flight, and I don't know if you can have a ticket that is both "flexible" and "reduced price due to bereavement" - Voltore's experience, while not directly comparable, suggests that some airlines are more flexible than others in this situation.

Bob

Sorry for your loss!

I believe, the main benefit for asking for a bereavement ticket, is not so much the price, but the flexibility in changing dates without extra fee's. Usually require a copy of a death certificate sent within x days of flight.

Guindalf

Looks like I won't be going back now. Long story, but my family don't care about me, so I'm not spending the money!

PetrifiedExPat

We were lucky to squeak the funeral in within 10 days, I hear it's close to 3 weeks now. All depends on the area though, of course.

Nutmegger

Do whatever is right for you. For various reasons, I was unable to get back for my father's funeral, so at the time of the service I went and sat in a church near to my office and spent some quiet time remembering him.

Guindalf

I raised a glass of Scotch to him on Saturday night. He didn't drink much, but when he did, it was scotch and dry ginger ale. Got some Ginger ale on Sunday, so on the day of the funeral, it'll be complete.

Rete

Condolences on the death of your father. Sure he will be raising a glass alongside you.

N1cky

Sorry for your loss. As others have said, do what is right for you, you don't want to regret not going because of your feelings towards others.

Guindalf

I've NEVER considered my feelings, but those of others. Perhaps that's the problem. They're going to say the same things about me whichever way I go with this, so I may as well save the money! I can say goodbye to Dad in my own way.

Tried to talk to Mum for the first time since it happened and I was the one who didn't care! They can have at it for all I care. It's sad, but if this isn't going to patch things up, nothing will.

BEVS

I am sorry to read that your Dad has passed away.
You hold your remembrance and final farewell in your own way .
I helped my husband do this when it was made clear that his sibling and family would make things horrible for him if he flew across all the world to attend his own Mum's funeral. In fact he would have been there weeks before when she was ailing had he known. I found out she had died via a comment on Facebook.

Bereavement flights. Not all offer any sort of discount . What they may offer is date flexability. I had this re. my Dad.
Something else an airline may do is to whisk you , first class style, through luggage off load and check-in. They will also sometimes block the seat next to you . This all helps maintain privacy which can be invaluable .

You do need a copy of the death certificate at some point. I produced mine at the services desk on my return flight.

Guindalf

Yeah, it's really tough and, just when you think they can't do any more to you, I find that my niece has unfriended me! Sounds like nothing to get upset about, but she was great and stayed out of the argument until now. It was like a punch in the gut when I found out.

When I spoke to Mum today, for the first time since Dad passed, you'd have thought I was talking to a robot or someone else detached from the situation. When I told her I wasn't planning on coming over, her reaction was 'I didn't expect you to' - says it all right there!

I've spent my entire life thinking of others. I've tried to keep the peace and build bridges, but my poisonous sister has decided I'm selfish and don't care about anyone else but myself. I had decided just a few months ago that this was what they wanted, so I wouldn't worry about it and go ahead and live my life. Sadly, it means that not only have I lost my Dad, but any chance of regrouping my family.

Sorry for pouring out. It hurts. I've been like a zombie all day. My wife doesn't know what to do to console me. I was working today and will again tomorrow. I get three days paid bereavement leave, so I'll take the rest of the week off and maybe we'll go to Memphis or drive up to Canton and Cleveland for a few days and forget about it for a while.

moneypenny20

Humans can be unthinking shits much of the time and family members have no problem shitting on their nearest and dearest because they think they can get away with it. Worrying about it or trying to fix it when they don't want to reciprocate only causes ulcers imo. Your dad won't care you're not there and tbh that's all that matters. Remember him in your own way, continue whatever lines of communication you have going with everyone else and maybe one day it'll fix, maybe it won't. Sympathies.

BEVS

Don't be sorry. It's fine. Myself and husband have been right there with dreadful family situations right on bereavement .

Maybe another chat with your Mum is on the cards. Maybe not. She has lost her husband and will be a zombie right along with you.

Sometimes it is about the right question. Focussing solely on your Mum. Forget the rest of them.
Did you ask her if she wished you there? That you'd like to be by her side and support her?
Were you able to say that you would really like to be there for her and your Dad but were concerned for that upsetting his final farewell due to family tensions.

Believe me. I'm not at all suggesting you are remiss in any way. I'm remembering my Dad and my husband's Mum and how utterly beyond the pale dreadful that was for both situations.

With both of us though , we had already lost our other respective parent during the 90's. Both died in their 60's .

for you though, you still have your Mum.

Guindalf

I wish I did still have my Mum! She's spent so long making up lies and believing the ones my sister has made up, that our conversation was like two strangers yesterday.

It's like I am supposed to forget the whole world and concentrate on them. In the past 18 months, my FiL fell out of bed and broke his hip and my MiL has dementia, my wife's been in the hospital and my best friend is on eight weeks bed rest following spinal surgery, so yes, I've been a little selfish and not given them 100%!