drummergirl

Hello all. I send out a desperate plea for information, to clarify something.

My husband has been working in NY for the last 4 months, and constantly pressuring me to join him, with our two small children. I have been resistant because I like where I am and the children are in a good school, and the money offered didn't seem life-changing enough to warrant a move.

Now they have upped the money to $200k and it seems undeniable that we would save there, and we are struggling in the UK.

However, in making a last-ditch effort to resolve this, I have found out that if I gave it a go for a year, after only six months the children would be considered resident and I would be unable to come back to the UK with them without my husband's permission.

Could anyone confirm whether this is correct? If so it would mean I can't give it a meaningful go without putting myself at this awful risk. He says he would not do that, but I do believe we are headed for a split regardless, and just like I would, I would expect him to do all he can to hang onto his kids. So he probably WOULD do that and a verbal promise not to is meaningless.

Any words of advice/clarification gladly received.

Sally Redux

Whoa! Don't do it if you're heading for a split.

Giantaxe

If you are "heading for a split" why would you move continents to be with him?

drummergirl

In order to have tried everything, and tried to keep the children with their dad... and walk away knowing I have.

Can anyone clarify the 6-month thing?

Sally Redux

I have not heard of it being set in stone like that.

Hotscot

I think you need to talk to a counselor.

drummergirl

No, I just need to know how long before the kids are considered resident. I just felt I should give a bit of background rather than ask a bald question.

sir_eccles

What visa would it be on?

drummergirl

thanks, Sir Eccles. He is on L1 and I have L2.

Sally Redux

And I'm just offering the opinion that it's risky.

drummergirl

Sure, Sally, and I welcome opinions as well as facts, but I hoped it was clear from my post that I am aware it is very risky and that I should steer clear. But I can't steer clear on these grounds without being sure of my facts first.

sir_eccles

Ok, that's an upside you could work and be independent. Is the company filing greencards? I'm guessing after only 4 months it is too early to say.

Also how many kids and how old?

drummergirl

No, no green cards in the offing at the moment. Would my being independent affect whether I needed his permission to bring the boys back if we can't settle or I am too homesick?

drummergirl

Oh, and two children, 6 and 1.

sir_eccles

Not really, I was just thinking options for you to stay in the states should you split.

Just thinking out loud, if a family on L1 and L2 visas has a divorce. I assume the L2 for the spouse would end and the spouse would have to leave. What would happen to the L2 for the kids? I don't know the answer.