Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
Nov 24th 2014, 3:42 pm
#61
Joined: Apr 2012
Location: CT
Posts: 33,505
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
I have next to no interest in (gridiron) football, basketball or baseball, but I keep enough of an eye on the sports headlines (exactly as I did with soccer news when I lived in the UK) so I can participate in casual conversations "over the garden fence" or "at the water cooler" so I don't sound like a complete plonker who just stepped of the plane.
Nov 24th 2014, 3:45 pm
#62
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
Settling into the "expat community" maybe, but that has bü99er all to with settling into living life as an American in America. 
I have next to no interest in (gridiron) football, basketball or baseball, but I keep enough of an eye on the sports headlines (exactly as I did with soccer news when I lived in the UK) so I can participate in casual conversations "over the garden fence" or "at the water cooler" so I don't sound like a complete plonker who just stepped of the plane.
I have next to no interest in (gridiron) football, basketball or baseball, but I keep enough of an eye on the sports headlines (exactly as I did with soccer news when I lived in the UK) so I can participate in casual conversations "over the garden fence" or "at the water cooler" so I don't sound like a complete plonker who just stepped of the plane.
Nov 24th 2014, 3:47 pm
#63
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
Fing about Arsenal is, they always try an' walk it in.
Nov 25th 2014, 11:43 am
#64
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Joined: Aug 2004
Location: MA, USA
Posts: 92,170
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
That said, you're right...it's all going to depend on where one sets up shop.
Finding sports to watch will still be easy with the internet, finding where you can participate yourself, may or may not be easy.
Nov 25th 2014, 12:31 pm
#65
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Joined: Feb 2011
Location: Mallorca
Posts: 19,367
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
You have no idea how conservative the Boston area is then, despite the "liberal" appearance, it's not.
That said, you're right...it's all going to depend on where one sets up shop.
Finding sports to watch will still be easy with the internet, finding where you can participate yourself, may or may not be easy.
That said, you're right...it's all going to depend on where one sets up shop.
Finding sports to watch will still be easy with the internet, finding where you can participate yourself, may or may not be easy.
Here in Spain, many British expats complain incessantly about how "un-British" it is here (as if that's what they expected) unless of course they restrict themselves to British expat areas, but even then, it ain't blighty, so I'd tend to believe the same might apply anywhere. I'd have to believe there would be quite a bit less shock in "Baahston" by comparison.
Nov 25th 2014, 12:49 pm
#66
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,448
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
Fair enough. But I wasn't referring to political views. More referring to the fact that Boston is perhaps more like England in terms of look and feel than lots of other places one could choose to settle. But that's also taking the liberty of assuming "being like England" is what one would fancy, or expect to find when moving abroad, as many British expats seem to expect. .....
Nov 25th 2014, 8:02 pm
#67
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Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 277
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
Instead, those who seem most content and happy are always the ones who embrace their new surroundings, actively participate in it, seek all the good things about it, rather than fear it, refuse to embrace it, or refuse to be a part of it.
I don't think surrounding him with "British" stuff would be wise. Showing him a really good time within the local culture would be wiser, me thinks.
Help him accept that things here are different. That does not necessarily make them better or worse - they are just different. The french may eat croissants for breakfast instead of toast and cereal. We would never judge them for that, we just accept it as being typically "French." However we routinely take Americans to task for daring to do things differently to us true-original Brits.
Most new arrivals spend a lot of time alienating their newfound American friends by bitching about how things are done better in the UK. The ATMs work differently here? So what? Driving standards are terrible? Learn how to deal with it without blowing a gasket! etc...
I steered clear of expat communities when I came here - I would recommend meeting as many Americans in short order as you can, and absorbing their culture over frequent, wine-fuelled discussions.
Nov 25th 2014, 8:36 pm
#68
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2014
Location: London
Posts: 556
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
New England does have similarities to the UK that the rest of the States don't have. My hubby thinks it's funny how Americans not from New England pronounce route as rowt instead of root. Then again the South have some traditions same as the UK like vinegar on chips.
Actually DH complains about New England traditions being replaced by general Americanisms, such as some Boston supermarkets starting to call the trolleys carts instead of the local name carriage.
Actually DH complains about New England traditions being replaced by general Americanisms, such as some Boston supermarkets starting to call the trolleys carts instead of the local name carriage.
Nov 26th 2014, 3:25 am
#69
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
Hey everyone. These threads have been so useful so I'm hoping for a bit more advice
I'm a USC married to a UKC, currently living in the UK. We're planning our move to the US next year, bringing with us a 2.5 year old and 4-6 month old. We'll be moving to Los Angeles, where I'm originally from and all my family live.
We're doing this because we'd like to be near family, now that we've got little ones of our own (well one, with another on the way). His family are spread all over the UK/Ireland, and it's been tough since our daughter was born. It will be a huge upheaval for all of us (myself included, who has lived in the UK now for nearly 10 years) but I'm also excited about the journey.
My husband has been to the US many times, including annual trips to LA, so he has an idea what he's in for. He also gets on extremely well with my family (luckily!) But I'm still worried about moving so far from his friends and family, and the life he's used to. I'm getting my citizenship sorted before we go so we can always move back here if we're unhappy.
That being said, do you guys have any tips to help him adjust to life in the US (LA in particular!). I'm thinking things like:
I think life will be very full on for the first few years, including news jobs, new house, little kids, family visits. But I want this to be a happy move for all of us, and want to help him transition to American life. What helped when you first came over? Any tips or suggestions you guys might have would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance
I'm a USC married to a UKC, currently living in the UK. We're planning our move to the US next year, bringing with us a 2.5 year old and 4-6 month old. We'll be moving to Los Angeles, where I'm originally from and all my family live.
We're doing this because we'd like to be near family, now that we've got little ones of our own (well one, with another on the way). His family are spread all over the UK/Ireland, and it's been tough since our daughter was born. It will be a huge upheaval for all of us (myself included, who has lived in the UK now for nearly 10 years) but I'm also excited about the journey.
My husband has been to the US many times, including annual trips to LA, so he has an idea what he's in for. He also gets on extremely well with my family (luckily!) But I'm still worried about moving so far from his friends and family, and the life he's used to. I'm getting my citizenship sorted before we go so we can always move back here if we're unhappy.
That being said, do you guys have any tips to help him adjust to life in the US (LA in particular!). I'm thinking things like:
- Joining a weekly football/soccer team
- Monthly pub quizzes
- Meeting other expats
- TV access to his favourite shows/sports
I think life will be very full on for the first few years, including news jobs, new house, little kids, family visits. But I want this to be a happy move for all of us, and want to help him transition to American life. What helped when you first came over? Any tips or suggestions you guys might have would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance
My husband has never joined BE (I did the same thing you are doing 10+ years ago because I was concerned he would have a hard time adjusting here, he hasn't) and he's never looked for anything British to join, i.e. pubs, clubs, etc.
Good luck on your upcoming move. I hope your husband has no problems and settles in well.
Last edited by AmerLisa; Nov 26th 2014 at 3:33 am.
Nov 26th 2014, 8:54 am
#70
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Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 18
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
Thanks AmerLisa! For us, this whole move is about family, so if we weren't in California we probably wouldn't bother moving at all. Although I bet my husband would like Seattle too...far too soggy and grey for me though
I think it's probably a good idea to get stuck into the local culture, rather than trying to replicate Blighty in LA (never gonna happen!). But I also know that it doesn't take much of a reminder of home to help with a bout of homesickness...I need to work on my fry-ups for when he's feeling down!
And I definitely think that while UK/US culture differences are very real, small town/big city ones are possibly even more difficult. I haven't found it very difficult to adapt to Edinburgh or London, but I feel so foreign when we visit small towns (especially in Northern Ireland where my husband is from). Small town America feels just as foreign to me, especially outside of CA. It really could be another country sometimes. I feel like my UK in-laws could happily live in a small coastal village in California with little difficultly, but would feel completely out of place in the centre of Manchester or Edinburgh.
I think it's probably a good idea to get stuck into the local culture, rather than trying to replicate Blighty in LA (never gonna happen!). But I also know that it doesn't take much of a reminder of home to help with a bout of homesickness...I need to work on my fry-ups for when he's feeling down!
And I definitely think that while UK/US culture differences are very real, small town/big city ones are possibly even more difficult. I haven't found it very difficult to adapt to Edinburgh or London, but I feel so foreign when we visit small towns (especially in Northern Ireland where my husband is from). Small town America feels just as foreign to me, especially outside of CA. It really could be another country sometimes. I feel like my UK in-laws could happily live in a small coastal village in California with little difficultly, but would feel completely out of place in the centre of Manchester or Edinburgh.
Nov 26th 2014, 1:50 pm
#71
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
The one thing that really has made a great impression on me, and it could be that we moved back to somewhere that was foreign to me, is reverse culture shock. I was only away (only in the sense it was half the years you were away lol) 5 years, but it was like I came back to a country I really didn't know. Well I did know, but didn't. Perhaps you will settle in better because you're going "home" so to speak. I'll be interested to hear how it all goes.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Nov 26th 2014, 4:13 pm
#72
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Location: Mallorca
Posts: 19,367
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
