Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
#1
Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
Hey everyone. These threads have been so useful so I'm hoping for a bit more advice
I'm a USC married to a UKC, currently living in the UK. We're planning our move to the US next year, bringing with us a 2.5 year old and 4-6 month old. We'll be moving to Los Angeles, where I'm originally from and all my family live.
We're doing this because we'd like to be near family, now that we've got little ones of our own (well one, with another on the way). His family are spread all over the UK/Ireland, and it's been tough since our daughter was born. It will be a huge upheaval for all of us (myself included, who has lived in the UK now for nearly 10 years) but I'm also excited about the journey.
My husband has been to the US many times, including annual trips to LA, so he has an idea what he's in for. He also gets on extremely well with my family (luckily!) But I'm still worried about moving so far from his friends and family, and the life he's used to. I'm getting my citizenship sorted before we go so we can always move back here if we're unhappy.
That being said, do you guys have any tips to help him adjust to life in the US (LA in particular!). I'm thinking things like:
I think life will be very full on for the first few years, including news jobs, new house, little kids, family visits. But I want this to be a happy move for all of us, and want to help him transition to American life. What helped when you first came over? Any tips or suggestions you guys might have would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance
I'm a USC married to a UKC, currently living in the UK. We're planning our move to the US next year, bringing with us a 2.5 year old and 4-6 month old. We'll be moving to Los Angeles, where I'm originally from and all my family live.
We're doing this because we'd like to be near family, now that we've got little ones of our own (well one, with another on the way). His family are spread all over the UK/Ireland, and it's been tough since our daughter was born. It will be a huge upheaval for all of us (myself included, who has lived in the UK now for nearly 10 years) but I'm also excited about the journey.
My husband has been to the US many times, including annual trips to LA, so he has an idea what he's in for. He also gets on extremely well with my family (luckily!) But I'm still worried about moving so far from his friends and family, and the life he's used to. I'm getting my citizenship sorted before we go so we can always move back here if we're unhappy.
That being said, do you guys have any tips to help him adjust to life in the US (LA in particular!). I'm thinking things like:
- Joining a weekly football/soccer team
- Monthly pub quizzes
- Meeting other expats
- TV access to his favourite shows/sports
I think life will be very full on for the first few years, including news jobs, new house, little kids, family visits. But I want this to be a happy move for all of us, and want to help him transition to American life. What helped when you first came over? Any tips or suggestions you guys might have would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance
#2
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
What did you do when you moved to the UK?
#3
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
Hello there.
I think the 'pub' scene can make you feel worse as it's so fake. Worth a try though. Where in LA will you be living?
Playing soccer sounds like a nice idea.
I think some contact with expats does help although obviously he'll need to branch out.
Has he joined BE himself?
I think the 'pub' scene can make you feel worse as it's so fake. Worth a try though. Where in LA will you be living?
Playing soccer sounds like a nice idea.
I think some contact with expats does help although obviously he'll need to branch out.
Has he joined BE himself?
#4
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
Bob, I came over when I was 20, doing a year abroad, so it was very exciting to try something new and adventurous. Being at uni, it was easy to make friends. Little things to help with homesickness include Thanksgiving every year I've been here, as well as sparklers for 4th of July. I think moving in your late 30's with a family won't be nearly as exciting
Sally, we're planning on moving to the Westside first (Culver City/Palms area) near my parents. After a year or so, we may consider something further out, but cheaper, depending on jobs. He hasn't joined BE yet but I will push him as we get closer to our move date. It seems like there are a lot of Southern California residents here, and it would be great for him to meet some expats.
I am always a bit disappointed when I go to 'American' things over here (diners, etc) because they just don't work out of context! I guess it would be the same for pubs in America. We've been to a few Irish pubs in LA, and my husband was horrified when my friend bought him an 'Irish Car Bomb' (he's from NI).
Sally, we're planning on moving to the Westside first (Culver City/Palms area) near my parents. After a year or so, we may consider something further out, but cheaper, depending on jobs. He hasn't joined BE yet but I will push him as we get closer to our move date. It seems like there are a lot of Southern California residents here, and it would be great for him to meet some expats.
I am always a bit disappointed when I go to 'American' things over here (diners, etc) because they just don't work out of context! I guess it would be the same for pubs in America. We've been to a few Irish pubs in LA, and my husband was horrified when my friend bought him an 'Irish Car Bomb' (he's from NI).
#5
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
Bob, I came over when I was 20, doing a year abroad, so it was very exciting to try something new and adventurous. Being at uni, it was easy to make friends. Little things to help with homesickness include Thanksgiving every year I've been here, as well as sparklers for 4th of July. I think moving in your late 30's with a family won't be nearly as exciting
Sally, we're planning on moving to the Westside first (Culver City/Palms area) near my parents. After a year or so, we may consider something further out, but cheaper, depending on jobs. He hasn't joined BE yet but I will push him as we get closer to our move date. It seems like there are a lot of Southern California residents here, and it would be great for him to meet some expats.
I am always a bit disappointed when I go to 'American' things over here (diners, etc) because they just don't work out of context! I guess it would be the same for pubs in America. We've been to a few Irish pubs in LA, and my husband was horrified when my friend bought him an 'Irish Car Bomb' (he's from NI).
Sally, we're planning on moving to the Westside first (Culver City/Palms area) near my parents. After a year or so, we may consider something further out, but cheaper, depending on jobs. He hasn't joined BE yet but I will push him as we get closer to our move date. It seems like there are a lot of Southern California residents here, and it would be great for him to meet some expats.
I am always a bit disappointed when I go to 'American' things over here (diners, etc) because they just don't work out of context! I guess it would be the same for pubs in America. We've been to a few Irish pubs in LA, and my husband was horrified when my friend bought him an 'Irish Car Bomb' (he's from NI).
There is quite a nice Irish pub in Ventura but one time we went there we were getting hassled to leave at about 9.30 because they wanted to close.
I think he will get good advice on here and might be able to meet people too. I met one or two people through BE.
#7
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
I can give you the info for the British food warehouse in Thousand Oaks (it might be too far from Culver Cuty). Once a month they sell off expired food.
Sounds disgusting, but needs must when the Devil drives.
Sounds disgusting, but needs must when the Devil drives.
#14
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
I'm not sure there is anything you can really do except try and support him as best you can. People react differently. some people like me love it here, other's never really get settled. I
t really helps to have a great in-laws. My wife's family are superb, they made me feel so welcome from the second they met me. It sounds like he has no problems there.
The British food thing, apart from HP, I don't really bother with any more. I'm finding I'm watching less and less UK tv, apart from the sports stuff that's actually televised over here.
Having a local pub also helps. I have one that's run by a Brit (although she moved here when she was 4, so she's a bit of a fake one) and they brew English style beers. It's not a pub in the English style of the word, it's a converted room in a strip mall, but it's friendly, it serves beer, I can walk in and they get the drink ready for me in my own mug and it now feels like my local so it's great.
Everyone seems to react differently. You just gotta play it by ear I guess. Good luck though
#15
Re: Helping my UKC husband adjust to life in the US
I never saw the point of those "Brit Food" shops.
Who in their right mind would spend $7 on a pack of McVitties Chocolate Hobnobs.
That is till my wife was 3 months pregnant. Then I realized that sometimes $7 is a bargain...
Is there something you haven't told us Hotscot?
Who in their right mind would spend $7 on a pack of McVitties Chocolate Hobnobs.
That is till my wife was 3 months pregnant. Then I realized that sometimes $7 is a bargain...
Is there something you haven't told us Hotscot?