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My daughter, who currently lives in New York and is moving to New Jersey soon, has found out she is pregnant. If anyone has had a baby in the USA I would be interested to hear about their experiences as I believe it is still very much a 'medical model'. She has private health cover. Her limited research so far has identified that maternity leave is very short and that it is quite common for babies to be put in nurseries from 3 months ? Has anyone got first hand experience of this and how did it work for you ? Depending on the circumstances I might very well have to go and help her out for a few months so am trying to get a few facts first.
Thanking you

tom169

I have not the slightest idea about child birth here, but came to say congratulations to her (and you too)!!

Hopefully some experienced people will give some input.

Pulaski

Like most things in the US it varies by state, and yes it is mostly the "medical model". It is possible to flout the system to varying degrees and my wife was determined to minimize the medicalization of her pregnancy. Although our daughter was born in a hospital we arrived only very late in her labour, so there wasn't much for the medical staff to do. My wife had no intention of having an epidural, and so the fact that we arrived too late for an epidural was of no concern to her.

There are certainly some pregnant women in the US who shun the medical profession almost entirely and there are a few "birthing centers" that cater to those women who want an alternative to a home birth, but depending on the state they can be on legally shaky ground. Typically women who give birth in such a place, or in an informal mid-wife assisted home birth are reported as "unassisted" births because providing mid-wife services is not legally recognized and reporting a mid-wife assisted birth could potentially lead to the midwife being prosecuted for providing medical services without a license.

I think there are a few states that recognize mid-wifery as a specialty of nursing, but they must (I think) work under supervision of a doctor.

Standard maternity leave is only six weeks, and therefore childcare facilities take babies from six weeks old. Care for babies is obviously expensive, and I would guess it will run a good couple of thousand dollars or more a month in greater New York. My wife took two years off and out daughter only started in day care after her second birthday.

BTW If you intend to apply for a B-2 visa so you can stay more than 3 months (I am assuming you're VWP eligible), make sure that you only say that you want to "visit" your family/daughter and new grandchild, and do not say you will be helping care for the baby, because you could find your visa denied or entry to the US prohibited at the port of entry because you are planning to engage in "work". I think this might be a myth/ internet rumour, but I don't see any reason to run the risk no matter how small the risk might be.

scrubbedexpat097

About to celebrate our granddaughter's first birthday next month so I can tell you a few things I have learned about childbirth here.

My daughter had pretty good health insurance and as a 38 year old first time mother I was impressed with all the scans and genetic blood testing she had and that her insurance covered. She ending up having a c-section as baby girl decided to stay in the breach position. Again I cannot fault the hospital and doctors and nurses. Her whole birth experience was so much less traumatic than the procedure I went through when I gave birth to her almost 40 years ago!

Her stay in hospital was 3 days and her private room had a bed for her husband to stay as well. Visiting for family was all hours, although they did try to keep it to no more than 3 at a time but it was very laid back. Her meals were good, and her husband could choose from a number of menus and have them with her. Breast feeding was encouraged and baby stayed with mum and dad all the time in their room.

Time off work was not so good. My daughter had accumulated about 8 weeks of sick and vacation time, then she was allowed to work from home half days for the next 2 weeks. Babygirl started daycare at 8 weeks and has been well looked after all year. The day care send daily pictures of all activities and they have all sorts of interesting special days, a few weeks ago they had small zoo animals, then they had a fire truck and tomorrow they have a special open day for parents and grandparents for International day. There is a big mix of kids from all countries at the day care, probably because of so many families in Houston because of the Gas and Oil industry. So we are going to visit her school tomorrow representing England and Columbia

I love being a nanny, she is so sweet. I wish I was retired so I could babysit her but saying that I think daycare is perfect for her. She is a very social 1 year old!

deadshoppingmalls

We are 2 months from having our first, and so far the medical experience has been fantastic.We even moved half way through the pregnancy and her medical care didn't miss a beat

We've gone through university systems (ucsf in San Francisco and now UT Southwestern) and experienced very good care.

It's true that maternity leave is limited - most companies will allow 6 weeks paid and 6 weeks unpaid and/or state coverage (it really depends on her company). We're rather lucky that my wife is able to stay home but I have many friends who have gone back to work 6 weeks after.

Cook_County

Most people I know would not recommend this because the child would be a US citizen; subject to US tax on worldwide income, forever.

Jerseygirl

If you live in the US...as the OP's daughter does...then you don't have much choice do you?

Cook_County

Yes you do; leave a few weeks before the due date. This is common tax planning given US citizenship law.

Jerseygirl

Where do you suggest the mother to be travels to?

scrubbedexpat097

You are opening a can of worms there buddy!

If you are living in the US legally then that is your place of abode, you have no right to go back and use the NHS.

Noorah101

I don't think it's recommended to travel that close to one's due date, though. And what happens if complications arise after the birth, and the mother/baby have no support system/insurance/family/etc in the foreign country?

Rene

tom169

This is a stupid idea and is not common at all. Chances are the child will be a US citizen regardless of where they are giving birth in the world as long as a parent meets the criteria.

Cook_County

I have met at this stage of my life several hundred people who as adults renounced US citizenship and have complained (like Boris Johnson) that being born in the United States was "outrageous" for each of them. Now personally, I prefer Nutrageous; but Boris preferred to describe US citizenship-based taxation as "outrageous". Most people I know would not choose to have a US citizen child if they expected to move away from the States in the future and had that choice. I fully understand this might not be easy to accomplish and would have to be a personal choice.

Jerseygirl

Much planning would have to go into conception if citizenship is to be renounced before giving birth.

For most it would be totally impractical and extremely costly for the mother to be to go another country to give birth.

Again...which country/countries would you recommend the mother to go to?

Rete

Have no clue what a "medical model" is. Her care in NJ will be good as long as she has good healthcare insurance. Usually it is a once a month OB visit with it becoming once a week in the 9th month. Tests will be non-invasive and will probably include a sonogram which will measure the size of the fetus, look for abnormalities and be able to determine the gender. Her preference on how she wants her delivery to be is a little trickier. My daughter specified no drugs and no epidural. She was given both regardless. This occurred while giving birth in Las Vegas 11 years ago. She then opted for full mid-wife services and delivery when they moved to Mississippi 2 years later and had her other two children at home. In MS, the mid-wife does NOT have to be doctor supervised in any way. The mid-wife was state sanctioned. She had only to go to the lab for blood tests which were ordered by the mid-wife.

Both my daughters were stay at home moms so using daycare facilities were not an issue. My niece, however, in Rochester, NY and my nephew's children in Virginia were enrolled in daycare from 8 weeks onward. Two of them in Rochester are thriving under daycare. The two in Virginia were under the care of a live out Nanny until the oldest started school and then the youngest was placed in daycare and the Nanny was let go. Either option is frightfully expensive and runs into the thousands each month. The Nanny was paid $56,000 annually with two weeks paid vacation and 10 sick personal days with pay.

The best to your daughter and son-in-law for a carefree pregnancy, a smooth delivery and a healthy child. And it is great being a grandma