ABD79

Hello!
Now I know this will be a touchy subject for some Americans, particularly Texans But it's a subject I take very seriously when I have three little boys to think about. My husband is American, we live in the UK, and in the next year he's possibly able to take up a job promotion with relocation to either Australia or America. We are weighing up what to do. We have a very happy life in the UK, but understand that it would be a great experience living in Australia (horrendous spiders aside), and if we went to America we would get to see his family and our children would get to be part of my husband's side of the family. However, and it's a big however, the gun situation scares the hell out of me. 30,000 gun deaths a year and nearly 300 gun deaths involving children under the age of 11 this year alone worries me greatly. And don't even mention school shootings! The thought of putting my children at a considerably higher risk (by a long way) of being a victim of gun crime fills me with a fear beyond comprehension. We have about 20-30 gun deaths a year and of those only one is likely to be a person not involved with gangs or crime. So out of 70 million people, the chances of being shot are virtually zero.
Now I'm honestly not looking to get into a debate as I know all the stats, I've done my research, and based on that I have immense feeling on the subject. This was confirmed when I chatted to a lady here from South Carolina (now living here), who told me her dad said that he misses her but he knows at least his grandchildren are safe. This lady also told me how her friend, (who grew up in a hunting family and they all knew gun safety), was actually shot and killed by her younger brother by accident after he shot her in the head not realising the gun was loaded. I can't even imagine this.
So, my question is, if and how have you been affected by guns? Do you have friends or family that something has happened to? Or, God forbid, children? How do expats find it out there with guns and gun crime? Do you worry about home invasions or do you hear of much gun crime where you live? We were looking at the Fort Worth area...as safe a neighbourhood as we can find, probably Colleyville or Double Oak type places. We may go completely off plan though and go to Florida as my husband's parents would move too if that was the case. I don't want to offend anyone - I do understand how important guns are to many Americans and what they represent to them and I'm not arguing that, (or arguing anything), just simply that I want to establish just how prevalent guns are in every day life there. I read the stories, see the local news, know the statistics...but I wanted to hear in people's own words how they feel...especially any expats with children. Many thanks

Pulaski

The misuse of guns in the US is almost entirely drugs/ gangs related, and/or black-on-black/ Hispanic-on-Hispanic. For most Americans "out in the suburbs" gun crime is almost as rare as it is in the UK, and is something that can be compartmentalized to something that happens in "the wrong part of town", or the low-end apartment complex, and not something to be unduly concerned about.

There is an obvious correlation between gun ownership and guns used in domestic violence, but you can avoid that risk by not owning a gun.

I live in the outer fringes of suburbia, almost rural area, and I hear guns used frequently (most days, and every weekend), by hunters and target shooters, but crime here, of any sort, is rare. I have never heard of a home invasion anywhere near me. Burglaries are rare and often appear to have targeted a specific home - for example teenagers broke into a neighbour's home and he works for a mobile phone company.

While I know, to talk to, two convicted killers, curiously neither used a gun to commit their crime - one was a domestic incident, the other was a robbery in the wrong part of town. Of the two murder victims I knew, only one was shot, both were in the wrong part of town. .... I also knew a victim in the UK - and he lived in the leafy suburbs!

One night on the way home from a restaurant I once inadvertently drove through the middle of an armed police arrest situation - guns were drawn and aimed. We found ourselves between a police road block in front of us, and armed police, guns drawn, behind us. I drove over the pavement and escaped down a side road to get out of the area. Mrs P won't let me take that short-cut home at night anymore!

Anyhow, I sleep soundly at night.

BTW Texas doesn't have a remarkably high rate of gun ownership - it is only middle of the table in gun ownership per capita, and many states have more permissive gun laws than Texas. For example there are more guns per capita in NC than Texas, yet guns aren't usually consider be a big deal here.

Rockgurl

I've been here 14 years (I'm in New England) and I've never seen one or know anyone that owns one.

Smartyy

Long response inbound!

Evidently he didn't know gun safety. One of the biggest (if not the biggest) rule of gun safety is always treat a firearm as if it is loaded and don't point it at anything you don't want to destroy!

I found a huge respect for them and enjoy them immensely. I target shoot, hunt and competitively shoot (only just started). I was nervous initially but once I had training and learn the albeit obvious firearm rules, this all calmed down and I am more than comfortable with them.

Someone who I know, had a loaded shotgun in the house ready to go out shooting and didn't realize it was loaded. He put a big hole in the wall.

I conceal and carry so not worried at all about gun crime. Pretty low where I live. Only issue areas are gang territory so obvious to stay out of those areas.

I have always believed in protecting my family no matter what (that includes back in the UK). If someone broke into my house with the intent or possible intent of causing death or bodily injury or even just has a weapon and could use it, I have no doubt I would shoot to protect (thanks to the castle doctrine). This is one of the main reasons I recently bought my new Glock 19 9mm.


I do not know much about the areas where you live so I cannot offer any advice there. Here in Idaho which is a big pro 2A state, we have very relaxed gun laws and we do not hear of much gun crime. Only the gang related stuff mainly and the odd armed robbery.

It is difficult to comprehend firearms when living in the UK. I liked firearms but never thought I would be proficient and confident enough to own one. I've been here 10 months now and have 3 firearms and I know them inside and out and how to use them. Luckily my wife is the daughter of a firearms pro so she knows gun safety rules. For example, I left my Glock on the table while I went to get my cleaning supplies, she didn't touch it, she left it where it was and came and asked me if I could teach her how to load, unload, handgun safety etc. (We don't have any kids so not worried about that).

It is simple. Follow the firearms rules when owning and you will be safe. If you're in a good area, it is unlikely you will have gun crime but you never know. I have the philosophy of, I would rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.

I hope this helps

tom169

Embrace it and buy your own.

Rete

I'm an American and not at all offended by your post or your fear. I fully understand that it is a real fear to you and perhaps those of us who have nearly completed our lives living in America and who have never encountered a situation involving a use of a gun or have ever been a victim of any type of crime, i.e. home, property (other than car break-in) or body might not eliminate your fear.

There were never any guns in my home until I married my Canadian husband. Now we have several guns and rifles and in fact, he just purchased a gun for me even though I have assured him I will never pick it up nor learn how to shot it. As an adult, I graduated from a blue collar home to a white collar one and even though I still lived in an area that was far from tony, gun violence never occurred anywhere near our residence. It was when my daughter moved to Las Vegas that she was distantly involved in a double homicide and that involved knives when her gf's significant other's mother and sister where killed and their house torched. I traveled to and from NYC five days a week for over 40 years without a problem.

My extended family lived for over 25 years in an upscale area of New Jersey and are now in Florida and all that time without house alarms, dogs as warning systems, etc. and have never had a problem.

Yes, crime happens but you should look at more than just the basic statistics. Look deeper and see where the crimes occur; what were circumstances that 'caused' the violence, etc.

Today's world is fraught with peril for law abiding citizens just going about their daily mundane lives.

Suppose what it comes down to is the same whether you move to Australia or the US. You pick the city and living area that you have deemed is safe for you and your family. You take precautions in securing your property and your lives. You don't go into unsafe neighborhoods and you check out the friends your children make and the homes they visit.

Whichever you decide, I do hope you find a satisfying and happy life.

Giantaxe

Although I agree with the last part of the last sentence, this is far too frivolous an attitude in general. For example, the UPS delivery driver to my relatively upmarket - but urban - neighbourhood was shot dead along with two of his colleagues in a workplace shooting yesterday. I doubt the relatives of those UPS drivers feel exactly the same as you... for example, more people die in workplace shootings in the US than are murdered in total in the UK.

Pulaski

I certainly wouldn't disagree that workplace shootings are a concern - they are certainly something that I think about on occasions when a colleague has been "let go".

Giantaxe

And this guy hadn't even been "let go":

"The gunman, Jimmy Lam, filed the grievance in March complaining that he was working excessive overtime"

AP Newsbreak: UPS gunman had filed overtime grievance - ABC News

We don't know the full story, of course, but the reality is that too many people here resort to lethal violence in such situations.

An "undue concern" for me? No, it isn't. But it is something I think about living here.

petitefrancaise

Austin for 3.5 years and I'm not particularly concerned about guns in our nice suburb. However, my daughter goes to UT and yeah, downtown it's more of an issue. Poverty, drugs, alcohol do not make a great combination. But that's true of anywhere in the world.

I'm more concerned with the redneck bible bashers in the Texas senate.

Pulaski

Have they killed many people?

petitefrancaise

their policies do.

closing abortion clinics lead to a huge rise in maternal deaths - not seen in first world countries at all. The Texas department of health did their best to hide that report.

and that's just off the top of my head. .+

Pulaski

And this has what exactly to do with guns?

ABD79

Lots of amazing answers so far - thank you so much.
The stories like the UPS one never fail to completely stun me. I just can't get my head around something like that. Just makes no sense to me and I can't imagine living a life where that kind of thing happens - which is what scares me about a move to America. I know so many people are absolutely fine though, like lots of people have said here. I think, (I know), it's the having children that's changed me. To be able to leave them at school and have my only thought being "I hope they have a lovely day" is a privilege that I think so many people here don't appreciate enough unless they know the things I know being married to an American and having spent a fair bit of time in America pre-children. And as I said, it's the having children that's greatly changed me. Perhaps my fear is on ultra sensitive mode because I have children. But then I hear stories like the UPS one above and the lady I met here and I think, "nope, fully justifies my fears!" IF we were to go to America I feel Florida might be the choice. But I can imagine we'd end up in a patrolled gated community, only venturing to the same places that felt safe and the children would have to be at a small private school. While my fears might be somewhat eased, they'd still be there and it would be a strange life for me having to be so wary. The other choice of course as mentioned is Australia which looks wonderful but when you have an actual spider phobia (I can't stand spiders!!!) and they regularly seem to get Huntsmen in their homes, not to mention funnel webs and red back (just google huntsmen, I dare you), it again scares the heck out of me but for different reasons. Again though, it's the living a life with a constant fear that concerns me. Even if a fear of spiders is on the "silly" scale when compared to guns! But still!!!

ABD79

Funnily enough the bible bashers (not meaning to offend any religious people here!!! Just repeating the term previously used), are one of the reasons the parents in law want to leave Texas. That and there aren't many non religious, anti gun, pro choice democrats in Texas so they do feel a bit isolated!
My husband went to UT by the way! I've visited it and been around Austin a bit. It's a nice place. Although I never saw the darker side of it of course. Or anywhere. I was never in one place long enough to really see a lot of what goes on and I stayed clear of the news purposely. Perhaps that doesn't help with my fear now...the fear of the Unknown!