Angm123

Hubby is US citizen. We tried Texas for a year, I loved it. But the money got too much and I was lonely. Came home. Now 10 years later it might be on the horizon again. He seems to want to move back at some point as he said he can't see himself living in the UK for the rest of his life. We had 2 children when we first went 10 years ago, now we have 2 more , these 2 also have autism. So that automatically makes me worried about going back. Social media has made things worse seeing all the police brutality, shootings etc. But mainly my problem lies is what do we do? I DO like America, houses, weather , loads to do. I also know how hard it was the first time and don't think it will be less hard now, although we might buy a house near enough out right if we went. I'm just worried, the boys, doing the whole green card thing again. Being lonely, scared of being broke. But he says , it's all he knows, he can't say it's bad because he's from there (this words) just a hard choice to make. Plus my mum hates when I mention moving over there, more guilt. I feel 50/50 but need more input, more advice more convincing, don't know. Anyone in a similar situation?

SanDiegogirl

When you say the "money got too much" presume you mean you did not have enough money to live on.

What does husband do currently? Does he have a profession?

Getting a good job will determine whether moving back is going to be a good move for you, especially with 4 children. Medical insurance will be a major consideration, so budget several hundred dollars a month for this.

If your children are all US citizen then he will only have to sponsor you. This means fulfilling some financial requirements.

https://www.uscis.gov/family/family-...nent-residents

Angm123

He's an electrician, and USAF reservist.
All kids are dual nationality. We're in a position right now where I don't have to work so we already know life over here is easier. But I know deep down inside him he wants to go back and because I don't hate the states, I'm not ruling it out completely, just hate the fact everything is way harder.

nun

Have you investigated how you'd pay for health care and the cost and availability of services for your two children with autism?

Angm123

No I haven't looked into any services, they vary from state to state. Health insurance is a worry obviously. As far as I know a good one is 500 a month, which is crazy.

Noorah101

Does your husband have a job lined up in the USA? Best thing to do would be for him to go to the USA ahead of you and the kids, get a good job with health insurance benefits, and then apply for your immigrant visa.

Rene

nun

For a family right now you might be looking at over $1000/month and should budget on $15k total health care expenses per year. Under the ACA you might well get a subsidy to help pay the premium depending on your income. But the ACA will be disappearing and who knows what will replace it. If your husband has access to military healthcare that would be good, or maybe he could move first and get a job with healthcare, but moving to the US with 2 autistic children without fully understanding the cost and provision of care would not be something I would do.

ian-mstm

No, you don't. You don't need more input, advice, or convincing. You already have a firm grasp on the pros and cons! What you're trying to do, is get help justifying a decision - and that's not something anyone here can actually help you with!

Ian

Angm123

This is something that if it happens it wouldn't be for another 8 years or so. Kids would be 14 and 13 which is still young. We even said it could be 10-12 years. Yes I'm a worrier and all kinds of things could change by that point.

morpeth

The social media reports on crimes often neglect to point out that if one removes the inner cities and large urban areas, there are many areas of the USA that don't have much higher crime rates than comparable areas of the UK.

In my own family we have looked at the pro's and con's of the USA, and if you have children with medical issues, or financial worries, in general the UK is a safer bet- let alone if they wish to go on to university what the expenses are in USA vs UK.

Not knowing all the particulars all I could advise is first what is in the best interests of your children; and health care is expensive in the USA unless it is likely he can get good health insurance through work.

Angm123

My children are not on any medication so I don't know how much autism affects the insurance. They are both in mainstream but still need support. The youngest for sure requires more help. Thanks for all the replies so far

Pulaski

Maybe, maybe not - that would seem to be towards the upper end of the likely cost range. We pay $182/mth for insurance for a family of three (parents plus one child), and about another $1,000/year "out of pocket", which is actually from our Health Savings Account, so is effectively tax deductible.

scrubbedexpat097

Honey, why worry about something so far ahead that might or might not happen. So many things can change both here in the US and there in the UK for this possibility of a move ever happening.

Concentrate on your life now. Concentrate on making sure your kids are receiving all the help they need to become self sufficient ndependent adults.

Life is stressful enough without adding unknown entities into everyday regular problems. Enjoy what you have and where you are.

Life passes by so quickly, don't waste it. If it looks like a possibility in a few years then start your research.

Wintersong

That's twice this morning I've wanted to send you karma but have to spread it, so you just get this:

SanDiegogirl

Agreed ...... so many things could change between now and 8 years so little point in continuing the conversation.