Feeling very down about the whole thing
#61
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Brat1.....How do the girls feel about moving schools have you looked on the schools websites to see what their curriculums are. The reason I am asking is because if you look on other forums of those wanting to return to the UK one of the reasons they don't is because the children do not want to move. Just wondering how you approached it with yours.
I don't for one minute think that the transition from here to Connecticut is going to be easy, but I really hope that they will eventually benefit from a different lifestyle (I'm going on an H4 so won't be able to work).
Sometimes, as parents, we have to make decisions that our kids don't agree with and hope that we make the right choices for a better future for them.
#62
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 5
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
I suspect you have not been here very long. There is a very wide range of beef (steaks) available here. I was raised in the UK and it was not until I came here that I discovered good tasting steaks. I suspect both countries have good and bad. You just have to care to look. I think you'll find it is cheaper here, though, even for the good stuff.
There is a ton of organic beef (though typically grain-fed) available here; anyone buying beef from Safeway or Albertsons or whatever is buying crap.
And you can get plenty of grass fed beef:
http://www.eatwild.com/products/california.html
http://www.lazy69ranch.com/
http://www.wisefoodways.com/bay/meat.php
http://www.highsierrabeef.com/
http://wholefoodsmarket.com/storeblo...ed-beef-event/
(I could list hundreds).
Same goes for vegetables. If you buy the cheap stuff at Safeway you are asking for trouble but if you pay a bit more at Whole Foods, you'll get very good quality.
There is a ton of organic beef (though typically grain-fed) available here; anyone buying beef from Safeway or Albertsons or whatever is buying crap.
And you can get plenty of grass fed beef:
http://www.eatwild.com/products/california.html
http://www.lazy69ranch.com/
http://www.wisefoodways.com/bay/meat.php
http://www.highsierrabeef.com/
http://wholefoodsmarket.com/storeblo...ed-beef-event/
(I could list hundreds).
Same goes for vegetables. If you buy the cheap stuff at Safeway you are asking for trouble but if you pay a bit more at Whole Foods, you'll get very good quality.
#63
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: North Charleston,SC. born in Stockport,UK.
Posts: 10,109
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
I just saw a 'House and Garden' show covering the real-estate market in Fort Collins; it looks like a GREAT place to live! The downtown looks compact and with lots of shops/restaurants - walkable, etc. And you can buy a great house for $250k.
The weather seems interesting - hot summers but cold winters, with quite a bit of rain in the summer - this link compares FC to London. What I don't know is how humid it is in the summer. With all that rainfall, maybe it is humid, but not sure. Humidity is what kills you, not the heat (technically, 'dew point' is what matters).
I'm tempted to pay it a visit myself! You could do a LOT worse than Fort Collins, it seems!
The weather seems interesting - hot summers but cold winters, with quite a bit of rain in the summer - this link compares FC to London. What I don't know is how humid it is in the summer. With all that rainfall, maybe it is humid, but not sure. Humidity is what kills you, not the heat (technically, 'dew point' is what matters).
I'm tempted to pay it a visit myself! You could do a LOT worse than Fort Collins, it seems!
There are lots of people who love CO, it's a great state to live in if you are the out doorsy type, lots of winter sports stuff and water rafting, hil climbing etc. I didn't really enjoy my time there (18 months) but I know that when hubby leaves his job there in April, there will be quite a few people fighting to get it, he has already been contacted by a few guys in other States and it hasn't even been advertised yet!
#64
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,610
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Brit 1...My only worry for your children is that at their ages children have already made friends and and I think it would be hard enough for them to blend in with the other children in school but they have the added problem of being from another country. They will have to rethink how to spell words, History comes from a different point of view so many small things but when you put them altogether it can be alot for children.
Children can be awfully cruel I have 3 grown children but I do remember what it was like when they where in school trying to fit in, lots of different groups they are so clicky. I would be more worried about the two older children. High School here can be really bad I hope it all works out for you but I dont think its going to be easy for the girls.
Children can be awfully cruel I have 3 grown children but I do remember what it was like when they where in school trying to fit in, lots of different groups they are so clicky. I would be more worried about the two older children. High School here can be really bad I hope it all works out for you but I dont think its going to be easy for the girls.
#65
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
OMG! We've been through every emotion with this one. Anger, tears, sadness. It has been really tough because none of our kids are wanting to move, but me and hubby know we are doing this to hopefully give us a better family life than we've had in the UK. Since the kids were born, we both have worked. I'm a funeral director and work long, long hours and have missed so much of the kids growing up. I have major back problems now, with all the manual lifting work that I've done over the years and have been off for the last 6 months. The kids have had me at home and in that time, I think they realise how much better it is having me at home.
I don't for one minute think that the transition from here to Connecticut is going to be easy, but I really hope that they will eventually benefit from a different lifestyle (I'm going on an H4 so won't be able to work).
Sometimes, as parents, we have to make decisions that our kids don't agree with and hope that we make the right choices for a better future for them.
I don't for one minute think that the transition from here to Connecticut is going to be easy, but I really hope that they will eventually benefit from a different lifestyle (I'm going on an H4 so won't be able to work).
Sometimes, as parents, we have to make decisions that our kids don't agree with and hope that we make the right choices for a better future for them.
#66
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Brit 1...My only worry for your children is that at their ages children have already made friends and and I think it would be hard enough for them to blend in with the other children in school but they have the added problem of being from another country. They will have to rethink how to spell words, History comes from a different point of view so many small things but when you put them altogether it can be alot for children.
Children can be awfully cruel I have 3 grown children but I do remember what it was like when they where in school trying to fit in, lots of different groups they are so clicky. I would be more worried about the two older children. High School here can be really bad I hope it all works out for you but I dont think its going to be easy for the girls.
Children can be awfully cruel I have 3 grown children but I do remember what it was like when they where in school trying to fit in, lots of different groups they are so clicky. I would be more worried about the two older children. High School here can be really bad I hope it all works out for you but I dont think its going to be easy for the girls.
#67
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: North Charleston,SC. born in Stockport,UK.
Posts: 10,109
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Hi Brat1, I think that as long as you are expecting/ready for a few issues with the 16 yr old, you should be ok. It's going to be hardest for her I think, in the UK she would have only had a short amount of time left in school, here she will probably have to do 2 years of high school before she would graduate? I don't think the other kids would be mean to your kids in school, they will probably think the 'Brit accent' is cute and that will be a way in for them.
The spelling differences will be a PITA at first, but kids are adaptable, I'm sure the teachers will give them time to adjust, maybe you could mention that when you visit the schools. The history will be different, US history is pretty much all that gets taught in grade school, my son is doing world history in high school, but that is an AP class.
Just don't expect your 16 year old to settle in as quickly as the younger ones, and try and be as supportive as you can with all the small crappy stuff she will go through. Good luck sweety, keep in touch on here and let us know how everything is going
The spelling differences will be a PITA at first, but kids are adaptable, I'm sure the teachers will give them time to adjust, maybe you could mention that when you visit the schools. The history will be different, US history is pretty much all that gets taught in grade school, my son is doing world history in high school, but that is an AP class.
Just don't expect your 16 year old to settle in as quickly as the younger ones, and try and be as supportive as you can with all the small crappy stuff she will go through. Good luck sweety, keep in touch on here and let us know how everything is going
#68
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Hi Brat1, I think that as long as you are expecting/ready for a few issues with the 16 yr old, you should be ok. It's going to be hardest for her I think, in the UK she would have only had a short amount of time left in school, here she will probably have to do 2 years of high school before she would graduate? I don't think the other kids would be mean to your kids in school, they will probably think the 'Brit accent' is cute and that will be a way in for them.
The spelling differences will be a PITA at first, but kids are adaptable, I'm sure the teachers will give them time to adjust, maybe you could mention that when you visit the schools. The history will be different, US history is pretty much all that gets taught in grade school, my son is doing world history in high school, but that is an AP class.
Just don't expect your 16 year old to settle in as quickly as the younger ones, and try and be as supportive as you can with all the small crappy stuff she will go through. Good luck sweety, keep in touch on here and let us know how everything is going
The spelling differences will be a PITA at first, but kids are adaptable, I'm sure the teachers will give them time to adjust, maybe you could mention that when you visit the schools. The history will be different, US history is pretty much all that gets taught in grade school, my son is doing world history in high school, but that is an AP class.
Just don't expect your 16 year old to settle in as quickly as the younger ones, and try and be as supportive as you can with all the small crappy stuff she will go through. Good luck sweety, keep in touch on here and let us know how everything is going
We did spend a lot of time trying to persuade her to stay until the end of the school year and she could have lived with my mum and dad. But she was adamant that she wanted to come with us.
I doooo feel guilty for pulling her away from her friends and everything that she's used to and the guilt isn't helping the emotional grenade which is going on in my head at the moment. I hope she can cope with everything that is ahead and come out the other end a more confident and social person.
I would imagine that if we pull together as a family and support each other, then it will be slightly easier.
Thanks guys. I appreciate any advice on how to make it as smooth as possible or of any pitfalls which I've maybe not thought about
#69
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,610
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Brad1.. Your daughter can always return home if she is not happy nothing is final. They may fit in perfectly well.
#70
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
I suspect you have not been here very long. There is a very wide range of beef (steaks) available here. I was raised in the UK and it was not until I came here that I discovered good tasting steaks. I suspect both countries have good and bad. You just have to care to look. I think you'll find it is cheaper here, though, even for the good stuff.
There is a ton of organic beef (though typically grain-fed) available here; anyone buying beef from Safeway or Albertsons or whatever is buying crap.
And you can get plenty of grass fed beef:
http://www.eatwild.com/products/california.html
http://www.lazy69ranch.com/
http://www.wisefoodways.com/bay/meat.php
http://www.highsierrabeef.com/
http://wholefoodsmarket.com/storeblo...ed-beef-event/
(I could list hundreds).
Same goes for vegetables. If you buy the cheap stuff at Safeway you are asking for trouble but if you pay a bit more at Whole Foods, you'll get very good quality.
There is a ton of organic beef (though typically grain-fed) available here; anyone buying beef from Safeway or Albertsons or whatever is buying crap.
And you can get plenty of grass fed beef:
http://www.eatwild.com/products/california.html
http://www.lazy69ranch.com/
http://www.wisefoodways.com/bay/meat.php
http://www.highsierrabeef.com/
http://wholefoodsmarket.com/storeblo...ed-beef-event/
(I could list hundreds).
Same goes for vegetables. If you buy the cheap stuff at Safeway you are asking for trouble but if you pay a bit more at Whole Foods, you'll get very good quality.
I shop Safeway (I gotta they pay Dh's wages ) I'm used to the taste so are my kids, but when we got back I can taste the goodness in the meat my Mom cooks, and the bread tastes better and the butter and the bacon etc etc.
European chocolate tastes fine, but it's still not what I want and it's expensive, I want a little quick bar of chocolate in the car Cadburys would be the ideal.
Decent groceries in UK are cheaper, I've done my list online a few times at Tesco.
#71
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: North Charleston,SC. born in Stockport,UK.
Posts: 10,109
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Thanks for that.
We did spend a lot of time trying to persuade her to stay until the end of the school year and she could have lived with my mum and dad. But she was adamant that she wanted to come with us.
I doooo feel guilty for pulling her away from her friends and everything that she's used to and the guilt isn't helping the emotional grenade which is going on in my head at the moment. I hope she can cope with everything that is ahead and come out the other end a more confident and social person.
I would imagine that if we pull together as a family and support each other, then it will be slightly easier.
Thanks guys. I appreciate any advice on how to make it as smooth as possible or of any pitfalls which I've maybe not thought about
We did spend a lot of time trying to persuade her to stay until the end of the school year and she could have lived with my mum and dad. But she was adamant that she wanted to come with us.
I doooo feel guilty for pulling her away from her friends and everything that she's used to and the guilt isn't helping the emotional grenade which is going on in my head at the moment. I hope she can cope with everything that is ahead and come out the other end a more confident and social person.
I would imagine that if we pull together as a family and support each other, then it will be slightly easier.
Thanks guys. I appreciate any advice on how to make it as smooth as possible or of any pitfalls which I've maybe not thought about
It's never easy making the choice to uproot children, changing schools is hard enough for them, and they are changing countries too, so that is extra stress on you all, as you say being supportive of each other and being aware of some of the issues you are all facing will help.
#72
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Well if it's her decision, she will have to live with that, as Totty says, there is always the 'open door' for her to go back if she really hates it. I would tell her though that she has to give it at least 6 months before making a choice to leave the US, mainly because it will take her at least that long to really know and accept the differences here.
It's never easy making the choice to uproot children, changing schools is hard enough for them, and they are changing countries too, so that is extra stress on you all, as you say being supportive of each other and being aware of some of the issues you are all facing will help.
It's never easy making the choice to uproot children, changing schools is hard enough for them, and they are changing countries too, so that is extra stress on you all, as you say being supportive of each other and being aware of some of the issues you are all facing will help.
#73
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Hi Brat1, I think that as long as you are expecting/ready for a few issues with the 16 yr old, you should be ok. It's going to be hardest for her I think, in the UK she would have only had a short amount of time left in school, here she will probably have to do 2 years of high school before she would graduate? I don't think the other kids would be mean to your kids in school, they will probably think the 'Brit accent' is cute and that will be a way in for them.
The spelling differences will be a PITA at first, but kids are adaptable, I'm sure the teachers will give them time to adjust, maybe you could mention that when you visit the schools. The history will be different, US history is pretty much all that gets taught in grade school, my son is doing world history in high school, but that is an AP class.
Just don't expect your 16 year old to settle in as quickly as the younger ones, and try and be as supportive as you can with all the small crappy stuff she will go through. Good luck sweety, keep in touch on here and let us know how everything is going
The spelling differences will be a PITA at first, but kids are adaptable, I'm sure the teachers will give them time to adjust, maybe you could mention that when you visit the schools. The history will be different, US history is pretty much all that gets taught in grade school, my son is doing world history in high school, but that is an AP class.
Just don't expect your 16 year old to settle in as quickly as the younger ones, and try and be as supportive as you can with all the small crappy stuff she will go through. Good luck sweety, keep in touch on here and let us know how everything is going
#74
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: North Charleston,SC. born in Stockport,UK.
Posts: 10,109
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
there are a lot of words spelt the US way, that just don't look right to me
#75
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,179
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Some universities charge out-of-state fees for non-LPRs, and they do not qualify for financial aid either.
Do you have a strategy in place to prevent them from aging out?