Pulaski

Been there, done that myself, with US immigration. I just dug my heels in and stuck with "just a friend". It didn't help that we hadn't actually met, except on line.

To answer your question, I'd still go with "just a friend, ..... met him on an exchange visit". So honest, but don't build it up into a substantial enduring relationship.

Oh, and in case she gets the third degree and they start going through her luggage I'd recommend she brings no lovey-dovey gifts and leaves her Victoria's Secret underwear at home too.

Johnny4123

Thanks RICH. That was really interesting. From reading that thread, just be completely up front and honest;

I'm here to visit the university of st andrews on an official visit day since i have an unconditional offer. Im staying with a friend/boyfriend who also happens to study at the university. i will leaving on the 8th april. Do you think they are less likely to give her a hard time for saying 'boyfriend' over 'friend'?

Bringing documents is to prove ties, albeit weak, to the US will be beneficial. Someone mentioned that parents can be a help. Since I'm 19 and she's 17, would my parents meeting her at the airport have any benefit beyond just me meeting her? My parents aren't rich, they would simply say that she is staying with us and we will be providing her with accommodation and food.

Thanks

Daniel

Noorah101

Do NOT provide any proof of how often you've been to the USA. Do you not understand you should try to MINIMIZE your relationship?

Also, she should only answer the specific question asked. If she says "boyfriend", stop there. Don't say he's also studying at St. Andrews blah blah blah, unless the officer specifically asks where he studies. Volunteering more information just leads to more questioning.

Rene

Johnny4123

So, Rene, you're saying she should simply say -
Where are you staying?
I'm staying with my friend who also happens to study at the university
How did you meet him/her?
We met online? We met in the USA?

i don't want her to get caught lying because that will surely get her denied entry.

Sorry if it seems that i am somewhat stupid, i just want to ensure i give her the correct information so i get to see her again in March.

Noorah101

No, because that makes it more obvious that you guys have a more serious relationship. Whoever mentioned parents, I'm sure they meant HER parents, not yours.

Rene

Johnny4123

Alright, so ill just wait for her in the airport.

She will tell the border official that she is arriving to visit the university of st andrews on an official visit day

She will also tell him/her that she will stay with me, a friend, who she met three years ago online? or in person in the us?

If there is an issue, do you think they would get in contact with me?

thanks

Daniel

Pulaski

Personally I don't think so. (i) they'll be outside the airport so immigration officer won't see them (ii) it is again building up a relationship that you really, seriously, need to downplay, and (iii) Sally's daughter's boyfriend had an entirely separate problem. As a young Middle Eastern man traveling alone he came with a lot of "political baggage" that left him open to being linked to concerns about terrorism either domestically (in the UK), or perhaps traveling onwards to Syria, so I don't see much you can learn from Sally's story. Needless to say that wasn't actually what he was doing, but that would be the concern that the immigration officers would have when they saw him.

Noorah101

No, that's the exact opposite of what I said. I said, if the border guard asks who she's staying with, she can say "my boyfriend". Period. That's it. Say no more until they ask another question.

Yes, if that's how you met.

That is the answer if the question is "where did you meet in person", not "how did you meet".

Of course not, and no one is suggesting that she lie at all. In fact, she should be 100% honest at all times.

The gist of the information is: Be honest. Don't lie. Answer ONLY the question asked, and don't volunteer further information unless or until asked. That's the case for anything relating to immigration now and in the future, whether she moves to the UK or you move to the USA.

Rene

Pulaski

Yup, that's about it ..... and admit to meeting in person. Having only met on line would be lying, which is NEVER a good idea when dealing with immigration, and anyway having never met in person opens up other ugly lines of questioning that I once explored with a US immigration officer when I visited the then-future Mrs P.

It's hard to say if they'd contact you, waiting outside, but I sincerely doubt it.

Noorah101

Keep in mind she will only be telling them all this stuff if they specifically ask her all those questions. Otherwise, she says nothing.

It's possible.

I have a UKC friend who used to visit the USA every summer for about 5 years in a row. We were just friends, but he used to stay at my place (back when I was single), and use my house as a base and then travel around other places during his stay. Anyway, after all those visits, he got stopped at JFK in New York on his way into the USA and got asked all these questions and who was he visiting so often and what was our relationship, etc. He told them we're good friends and he stays at my place, and they said they think he is going to marry me and stay in the USA. So about 5:00 am I get a call from immigration at JFK and the lady asks me over the phone all these same questions (I had no idea at the time that he'd been asked as well). I told them the truth as well, and they let him come through, but he decided not to visit the USA anymore. LOL So, nothing is ever guaranteed. They could have just as easily sent him back to the UK right then and there.

Rene

Johnny4123

Thanks Pulaski and Rene. It makes sense, completely.

Ill make sure she only answers what she is asked, not as you put it, volunteer up further information.

Ill also make sure she has all the supporting documents she requires.

She is to if asked, say she is staying with her boyfriend, who she met online and has subsequently met in person in the us.

I have been a little confused, some people say 1) be honest about your relationship, but downplay it.

So last question, she is to be honest about the relationship but downplay it, so it means, answering truthfully but only if the question asked requires the information. How did you meet? we met online but have since met in person.

Would that be sufficient? and only say how many times we have met if asked? surely saying we met 10 times is better than just once, since it shows a history of meeting and leaving?

thanks for all your help, i really appreciate it, more than you can imagine.

Noorah101

Sorry, no. That's volunteering more than asked. The question is "How did you meet?" The answer is "online". Period. That's it. No more.

IF the next question is "Have you since met in person?" Then, she can say "yes". Period. That's it. No more.

I'd stop worrying about what MIGHT be asked, because that could go on forever. Just keep the simple rule of "only answer the exact question asked. Do not volunteer further information unless specifically asked". Although it seems you have a hard time with that, you and she both need to practice that concept if you're to deal further with immigration.

If the question is "Do you know what time it is?" The answer is "yes" or "no". Not "yes, my watch says it's 1:00 pm". See?


Yes, ONLY if the question is "how many times have you met in person?"

ARGH. NO. Of course if that's the specific question asked, she must answer honestly. But it's NOT better, because it just proves you have a deeper relationship than you want to show at the moment. A couple who have met 10 times is more likely to want to remain together (on this visit) than a couple who have only met once.

Rene

Pulaski

Rene and I don't agree on the "friend v boyfriend" thing. "Boyfriend" has no legal status, and cannot easily be proved or disproved. I believe that describing you as her boyfriend is the first step on a slippery slope of probing and intrusive questioning from which no good will come. IMHO to describe you as a (mere) "friend" is both honest and sufficient. So when I said "downplay", I meant "drop the 'boy', stick to 'friend' ".

Rene and others don't agree with me. Only you and your "friend" can decide what you're comfortable with.

Johnny4123

Thanks guys, really appreciate it.

Makes complete sense.

Once again, alleviated my worries and shall be referring to this as of when i need reassurance!

Daniel

Pulaski

What Rene said about this!

FFS, Please go and look up what "downplay" means!