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Old Jul 19th 2017, 4:06 am   #1
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Default Running out of time to decide

So we have been in Australia since April 2011.
Our teenagers are now 16/ 19. We also have a little girl who is 2.5.
We flew home to Scotland last month for the first time in 4.5 years.


We loved seeing family and welcoming our little one to them.
Was a huge eye opener and we decided its time to return....

So we have been given a job offer back in the UK with good money for the area we live in. But we are having doubts, every single day. Its now tearing us apart.
Mainly as our eldest has just landed a job with good money.
Our 16 YR old Aspeergeers son, who is in yr 11 and has started an engineering traineeship will be walking away from al this to return.
However he is the one who is desperate to move back the most...asks everyday. Yet he has a fab set friends, private education and this traineeship.
We need to make a decision and fast.
Welcome any advice ....
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Old Jul 19th 2017, 4:40 am   #2
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

Lordy no idea! 16 year old desperate to move back - what's he basing the idea on? If it's simply because he's had a great holiday then maybe not the best idea. Given he was only 10 when you moved out, life living and working won't be a memory for him, it's a massive decision for an Aspy kid (no personal knowledge, just friends). Only you guys know him best. Obviously the little one has no real view, what about the 19 year old, are they keen or not? Do you want the job, is it better than the one you have? Will it be easy for you all to settle back into UK life? Will finding a home cause a headache? So many questions, so little real help, sorry.
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Old Jul 19th 2017, 4:46 am   #3
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

Great help truly you are. Aspie kid, sees family and cousins, longer summer nights etc. But he also has such a great opportunity here. He doesnt see it that way. He was promised an apprenticeship with in laws that fell through. ( MUST NOT LISTEN TO IN LAWS AGAIN)
Settle in easily i think so, job well not as good money as here. But hubby has been redunadant 3 times in 2 years here and lives on 6 monthly contracts. Home to rent as no money to buy. We will have nothing left after we return in the way of money. Unless we live with in laws short term. 19 yr old has just landed a job at $39000 a year..bloody good money for her age. soooo torn
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Old Jul 19th 2017, 5:05 am   #4
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

Never go back. Simple rule to live by.
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Old Jul 19th 2017, 5:41 am   #5
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

Tell me why?
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Old Jul 20th 2017, 9:08 am   #6
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

We were in a similar position to you, except for the kids bit as we don't have them.


We moved to Australia in 2008 and all was good for a while. Then the downturn kicked in and couldn't get work or any work that was permanent. So, financially it was very tough.


Eventually, we agreed I would apply for work back in the UK and see what happened. Well, within a couple of weeks I had an offer and we moved. That was March last year.


We are now living in Scotland - south of Glasgow and loving it. I earn a fraction of what I did in Australia - about a third - but we are better off and have a lot more time together.


I was worried about my wife settling back as she always liked the hot weather, but even though we have moved to a village that is infamous for snow - we had snow from early November, she adores it.


We didn't do it for family, but, been back and closer to family has been a huge plus that we weren't expecting.
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Old Jul 20th 2017, 9:16 am   #7
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

Quote:
Originally Posted by geoff52 View Post
Never go back. Simple rule to live by.
Geoff, that's a 'simple rule' for a reason.
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Old Jul 20th 2017, 11:13 am   #8
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

Never go back is probably the wrong term. Moving back to the UK shouldn't be referred to as 'going back'. You've changed, the UK has changed, at least some of your perception has, people around you have changed. You have to think of it as moving forward to something familiar. For some people all those things have changed enough to be 'wrong' and they end up ping ponging. Not easy, especially when you're not unhappy.
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Old Jul 20th 2017, 11:20 am   #9
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

Very true words. Thank you. Have just seen a house via skype to rent and have the job offer to reply too by tommorow. Its now or never. both hubby and myself are 50/50 . Our son is desperate to get back, daughter just going with whatever. Heart says stay ...but we know that a chance like this may not come up again x
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Old Jul 20th 2017, 11:22 am   #10
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

Thank you very stormy.
I actually read your post a while ago and remember thinking wow to you selling stuff the day you flow home.
We would be living in Sorn and if i read it right your in Strathaven. Now it very well.
Decision time !!
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Old Jul 20th 2017, 11:29 am   #11
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

Quote:
Originally Posted by rackcatt View Post
Very true words. Thank you. Have just seen a house via skype to rent and have the job offer to reply too by tommorow. Its now or never. both hubby and myself are 50/50 . Our son is desperate to get back, daughter just going with whatever. Heart says stay ...but we know that a chance like this may not come up again x
Do you have Australian Citizenship? Mind you if you don't and you have to make the decision tomorrow, it doesn't really matter.
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Old Jul 21st 2017, 4:24 am   #12
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

Yes we do have Australian citizenship x
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Old Jul 21st 2017, 4:54 am   #13
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

Quote:
Originally Posted by geoff52 View Post
Never go back. Simple rule to live by.
I think going back to what was once your real home, perhaps childhood home or birth home is different to going back to some place where you once had a temporary home or holiday, and it must depend on how long you've been away. I know that 'Never go back' is a policy some swear by though. There are success stories on this forum from some who have gone back and have no regrets. It's a hard decision to make, especially for those whose teenage children feel settled.
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Old Jul 21st 2017, 5:02 am   #14
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

Quote:
Originally Posted by moneypenny20 View Post
Never go back is probably the wrong term. Moving back to the UK shouldn't be referred to as 'going back'. You've changed, the UK has changed, at least some of your perception has, people around you have changed. You have to think of it as moving forward to something familiar. For some people all those things have changed enough to be 'wrong' and they end up ping ponging. Not easy, especially when you're not unhappy.
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Old Oct 15th 2017, 10:25 pm   #15
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Default Re: Running out of time to decide

So what did you decide? Either way, I hope you are happy you made the right decision.
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