moved back and not loving it
Apr 23rd 2008, 7:39 am
#106
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: moved back and not loving it
When I left home I did not want my parents around me, when I travelled I did not want them following me keeping me chained to the old apron strings - I wanted to do what I wanted without them tagging along - they had their lives and I had mine.
People have a right to live their lives as they see fit and that may or may not involve having their parents living near them.
You have obviously raised your kids to not only be independent but to realise that although you are in another country, you will always be there for them.
You have a healthy attitude towards life, your family are living their life to the best of their ability because of how you raised them.
Never ever question yourself as a mother/grandmother - I bet you have a lovely family and you and your husband provided the basis for that.
You haven't done anything wrong, you have made brave and exciting changes to your life that will in turn, give your kids/grandkids another place to visit.
Anyone but anyone makes you feel bad then you tell them to either mind their own business or concentrate on their own issues with their own lives.
Apr 23rd 2008, 12:31 pm
#107
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Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Pacific Pines, Gold Coast.
Posts: 775
Re: moved back and not loving it
Im sorry but the issues are not with you, they are with the people that say 'how could you leave them?'
When I left home I did not want my parents around me, when I travelled I did not want them following me keeping me chained to the old apron strings - I wanted to do what I wanted without them tagging along - they had their lives and I had mine.
People have a right to live their lives as they see fit and that may or may not involve having their parents living near them.
You have obviously raised your kids to not only be independent but to realise that although you are in another country, you will always be there for them.
You have a healthy attitude towards life, your family are living their life to the best of their ability because of how you raised them.
Never ever question yourself as a mother/grandmother - I bet you have a lovely family and you and your husband provided the basis for that.
You haven't done anything wrong, you have made brave and exciting changes to your life that will in turn, give your kids/grandkids another place to visit.
Anyone but anyone makes you feel bad then you tell them to either mind their own business or concentrate on their own issues with their own lives.
When I left home I did not want my parents around me, when I travelled I did not want them following me keeping me chained to the old apron strings - I wanted to do what I wanted without them tagging along - they had their lives and I had mine.
People have a right to live their lives as they see fit and that may or may not involve having their parents living near them.
You have obviously raised your kids to not only be independent but to realise that although you are in another country, you will always be there for them.
You have a healthy attitude towards life, your family are living their life to the best of their ability because of how you raised them.
Never ever question yourself as a mother/grandmother - I bet you have a lovely family and you and your husband provided the basis for that.
You haven't done anything wrong, you have made brave and exciting changes to your life that will in turn, give your kids/grandkids another place to visit.
Anyone but anyone makes you feel bad then you tell them to either mind their own business or concentrate on their own issues with their own lives.
Can I please hire you PP to say this to my Mum!!!!!
LibbyX
Apr 23rd 2008, 1:31 pm
#108
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: moved back and not loving it
I think your story would make for a very good book Libby
Do you reckon you will do anything different this time or do you have back up plans to deal with homesickness?
Im missing my Dad and friends big time, my Dad called tonight (well he calls most nights
) and my sister called from Cyprus - I always feel better for talking to them.I love my family dearly but after Mum dying, I am aware that I have to cram in as much as I can into my life.
We are having a better quality of life here - Im not talking weather by the way.
I love the wildlife, I love the slow pace of everything (after having worked in London for years), we are both on more money than in the uK (me especially) and its the simple things that I really love.
Having always liked wildlife and never tired of the foxes where I lived, this has been swapped for the parrots in our trees, the owl that sits in the tree in the daytime down the road from me and just the way we are living our lives now.
My asthma is 90 percent better - I still have it, but the doctor reckons my lungs are doing well.
We have been lucky with everything, we came with very little money and the only expectation is that it will be different.
It is different, the 'people sickness' is so hard but we have a huge improvement from where we were - everything seems to suit us.
Some people say that they didnt need to improve on their lives in the UK as they had everything there.
We needed to improve on our environment big time, yes we could have moved somewhere within the UK but we had the chance to apply for a visa after visiting a couple of times - and here we are.
But I would love to know what you would do differently this time and how has your journey changed you.
For what its worth, I reckon this time for you Libby, will be for keeps.
It must be so hard for those that are really unhappy and want to go home, I felt like that in London - only I didn't quite know where 'home was' and to be honest, I felt quite lost at times
I never realised just how much scenery/nature was important to me.
Last edited by Cheetah7; Apr 23rd 2008 at 1:34 pm.
Apr 23rd 2008, 1:53 pm
#109
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Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Pacific Pines, Gold Coast.
Posts: 775
Re: moved back and not loving it
Thanks PP, you really are a nice person.
What will be different....knowing that back here I have felt more lonely that I ever did in Oz.
Friends I made over there still email me weekly...I can go for days over here with out seeing anyone(other than the school run)
People have got on with their lives and lived without us for the year we were over there. Fitting us back in seems to be less of a priority, which doesnt bother me so much, but I feel for my Kids that dont see their Grandparents like they should do.
Anyway, I really hope that you PP carry on being happy and with your outlook on life I am sure you will be
LbbyX
What will be different....knowing that back here I have felt more lonely that I ever did in Oz.
Friends I made over there still email me weekly...I can go for days over here with out seeing anyone(other than the school run)
People have got on with their lives and lived without us for the year we were over there. Fitting us back in seems to be less of a priority, which doesnt bother me so much, but I feel for my Kids that dont see their Grandparents like they should do.
Anyway, I really hope that you PP carry on being happy and with your outlook on life I am sure you will be
LbbyX
Apr 23rd 2008, 1:57 pm
#110
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: moved back and not loving it
Thanks PP, you really are a nice person.
What will be different....knowing that back here I have felt more lonely that I ever did in Oz.
Friends I made over there still email me weekly...I can go for days over here with out seeing anyone(other than the school run)
People have got on with their lives and lived without us for the year we were over there. Fitting us back in seems to be less of a priority, which doesnt bother me so much, but I feel for my Kids that dont see their Grandparents like they should do.
Anyway, I really hope that you PP carry on being happy and with your outlook on life I am sure you will be
LbbyX
What will be different....knowing that back here I have felt more lonely that I ever did in Oz.
Friends I made over there still email me weekly...I can go for days over here with out seeing anyone(other than the school run)
People have got on with their lives and lived without us for the year we were over there. Fitting us back in seems to be less of a priority, which doesnt bother me so much, but I feel for my Kids that dont see their Grandparents like they should do.
Anyway, I really hope that you PP carry on being happy and with your outlook on life I am sure you will be
LbbyX
Here it just seems to be ticking along nicely and I am not used to that.
Apr 23rd 2008, 2:02 pm
#111
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,145
Re: moved back and not loving it
Im sorry but the issues are not with you, they are with the people that say 'how could you leave them?'
When I left home I did not want my parents around me, when I travelled I did not want them following me keeping me chained to the old apron strings - I wanted to do what I wanted without them tagging along - they had their lives and I had mine.
People have a right to live their lives as they see fit and that may or may not involve having their parents living near them.
You have obviously raised your kids to not only be independent but to realise that although you are in another country, you will always be there for them.
You have a healthy attitude towards life, your family are living their life to the best of their ability because of how you raised them.
Never ever question yourself as a mother/grandmother - I bet you have a lovely family and you and your husband provided the basis for that.
You haven't done anything wrong, you have made brave and exciting changes to your life that will in turn, give your kids/grandkids another place to visit.
Anyone but anyone makes you feel bad then you tell them to either mind their own business or concentrate on their own issues with their own lives.
When I left home I did not want my parents around me, when I travelled I did not want them following me keeping me chained to the old apron strings - I wanted to do what I wanted without them tagging along - they had their lives and I had mine.
People have a right to live their lives as they see fit and that may or may not involve having their parents living near them.
You have obviously raised your kids to not only be independent but to realise that although you are in another country, you will always be there for them.
You have a healthy attitude towards life, your family are living their life to the best of their ability because of how you raised them.
Never ever question yourself as a mother/grandmother - I bet you have a lovely family and you and your husband provided the basis for that.
You haven't done anything wrong, you have made brave and exciting changes to your life that will in turn, give your kids/grandkids another place to visit.
Anyone but anyone makes you feel bad then you tell them to either mind their own business or concentrate on their own issues with their own lives.
xxx
Apr 23rd 2008, 2:09 pm
#112
Living the dream :)
Joined: Jun 2006
Location: Little Mountain, Sunshine Coast
Posts: 1,262
Re: moved back and not loving it
I think your story would make for a very good book Libby
Do you reckon you will do anything different this time or do you have back up plans to deal with homesickness?
Im missing my Dad and friends big time, my Dad called tonight (well he calls most nights
) and my sister called from Cyprus - I always feel better for talking to them.I love my family dearly but after Mum dying, I am aware that I have to cram in as much as I can into my life.
We are having a better quality of life here - Im not talking weather by the way.
I love the wildlife, I love the slow pace of everything (after having worked in London for years), we are both on more money than in the uK (me especially) and its the simple things that I really love.
Having always liked wildlife and never tired of the foxes where I lived, this has been swapped for the parrots in our trees, the owl that sits in the tree in the daytime down the road from me and just the way we are living our lives now.
My asthma is 90 percent better - I still have it, but the doctor reckons my lungs are doing well.
We have been lucky with everything, we came with very little money and the only expectation is that it will be different.
It is different, the 'people sickness' is so hard but we have a huge improvement from where we were - everything seems to suit us.
Some people say that they didnt need to improve on their lives in the UK as they had everything there.
We needed to improve on our environment big time, yes we could have moved somewhere within the UK but we had the chance to apply for a visa after visiting a couple of times - and here we are.
But I would love to know what you would do differently this time and how has your journey changed you.
For what its worth, I reckon this time for you Libby, will be for keeps.
It must be so hard for those that are really unhappy and want to go home, I felt like that in London - only I didn't quite know where 'home was' and to be honest, I felt quite lost at times
I never realised just how much scenery/nature was important to me.
Nicky xx
Apr 23rd 2008, 2:18 pm
#113
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: moved back and not loving it
Having read this, I really hope that I will feel the same and not look back. It is so easy to remember the good things more than what you didn't like. I am sure we will all miss family and friends but if we get the quality of life right then I feel sure it will not affect us too much.
Nicky xx
Nicky xx
Guess we will just take each day as it comes.
I love London and left at peace with everything but by God will I not forget how life was for us and the improvement on it now we are in Perth.
Rose tinted specs perhaps, but I have only swapped my grey ones from London
I don't know the future but for the moment everything is looking OK for us, things can change of course - we are just enjoying where we are at now.
Apr 23rd 2008, 4:46 pm
#114
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Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Back in Perth
Posts: 336
Re: moved back and not loving it
Just had to reply to this thread, always have a read every other day or so but forgot my login name so couldn't log in until today when I remembered - having a DOH moment there for awhile!
Its great to hear about everyone and how they are feeling. So surprised at you Libby wanting to go back again but only you know how you feel, knowone else can and you feel its right then right it is!
We have ping-ponged a few times too and my only regret this time is that I left my lovely daughter hubbie and new grandson behind who is now 6 months old. I get to chat on MSN a lot and see them on SKYPE but its not the same as being in the same room and having that cuddle and tickle is it. I feel caught between the devil and the deep blue sea as my son and lovely wife ahving just given birth to a lovely little girl last week after 2 boys, Alfie and Spencer, so whichever way I go I upset someone. Being a Grandparent sure isn't easy.
On the up side, one almost 15 year old son has settled into High School here and is doing exceptionally well with grades and that was one area that I thought he would do bad in because of all the moving about. He announced a while ago that he would probably be moving back to Perth when older as thats more home to him!
I dunno can't win can I!
I just miss all my mates in Perth thats all, oh and daughter of course.
Glad to know everyone is still hear though!
Di
Its great to hear about everyone and how they are feeling. So surprised at you Libby wanting to go back again but only you know how you feel, knowone else can and you feel its right then right it is!
We have ping-ponged a few times too and my only regret this time is that I left my lovely daughter hubbie and new grandson behind who is now 6 months old. I get to chat on MSN a lot and see them on SKYPE but its not the same as being in the same room and having that cuddle and tickle is it. I feel caught between the devil and the deep blue sea as my son and lovely wife ahving just given birth to a lovely little girl last week after 2 boys, Alfie and Spencer, so whichever way I go I upset someone. Being a Grandparent sure isn't easy.
On the up side, one almost 15 year old son has settled into High School here and is doing exceptionally well with grades and that was one area that I thought he would do bad in because of all the moving about. He announced a while ago that he would probably be moving back to Perth when older as thats more home to him!
I dunno can't win can I!
I just miss all my mates in Perth thats all, oh and daughter of course.
Glad to know everyone is still hear though!
Di
Apr 23rd 2008, 4:51 pm
#115
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Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Pacific Pines, Gold Coast.
Posts: 775
Re: moved back and not loving it
Just had to reply to this thread, always have a read every other day or so but forgot my login name so couldn't log in until today when I remembered - having a DOH moment there for awhile!
Its great to hear about everyone and how they are feeling. So surprised at you Libby wanting to go back again but only you know how you feel, knowone else can and you feel its right then right it is!
We have ping-ponged a few times too and my only regret this time is that I left my lovely daughter hubbie and new grandson behind who is now 6 months old. I get to chat on MSN a lot and see them on SKYPE but its not the same as being in the same room and having that cuddle and tickle is it. I feel caught between the devil and the deep blue sea as my son and lovely wife ahving just given birth to a lovely little girl last week after 2 boys, Alfie and Spencer, so whichever way I go I upset someone. Being a Grandparent sure isn't easy.
On the up side, one almost 15 year old son has settled into High School here and is doing exceptionally well with grades and that was one area that I thought he would do bad in because of all the moving about. He announced a while ago that he would probably be moving back to Perth when older as thats more home to him!
I dunno can't win can I!
I just miss all my mates in Perth thats all, oh and daughter of course.
Glad to know everyone is still hear though!
Di
Its great to hear about everyone and how they are feeling. So surprised at you Libby wanting to go back again but only you know how you feel, knowone else can and you feel its right then right it is!
We have ping-ponged a few times too and my only regret this time is that I left my lovely daughter hubbie and new grandson behind who is now 6 months old. I get to chat on MSN a lot and see them on SKYPE but its not the same as being in the same room and having that cuddle and tickle is it. I feel caught between the devil and the deep blue sea as my son and lovely wife ahving just given birth to a lovely little girl last week after 2 boys, Alfie and Spencer, so whichever way I go I upset someone. Being a Grandparent sure isn't easy.
On the up side, one almost 15 year old son has settled into High School here and is doing exceptionally well with grades and that was one area that I thought he would do bad in because of all the moving about. He announced a while ago that he would probably be moving back to Perth when older as thats more home to him!
I dunno can't win can I!
I just miss all my mates in Perth thats all, oh and daughter of course.
Glad to know everyone is still hear though!
Di
Hi Di,
Nice to see your name again....its been a while...hope all is well.
LibbyX
Apr 23rd 2008, 5:00 pm
#116
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Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Back in Perth
Posts: 336
Re: moved back and not loving it
Yes feeling a lot better, having treatment for the depression and slowly but surely its getting better, just miss all my mates back in Perth thats all. Bit lonely here at times ah! And as you say, family just get on with their own lives don't they so I tend not to see my brother and wife and family as they are down in Ashford and sister in law is in Ipswich so only my son around this area! Mind you having a new grandchild makes me feel a heck of a lot better, going round for a cuddle tomorrow.
Hows things your end Libby?
Di
Apr 23rd 2008, 5:11 pm
#117
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Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Pacific Pines, Gold Coast.
Posts: 775
Re: moved back and not loving it
Thanks Libby
Yes feeling a lot better, having treatment for the depression and slowly but surely its getting better, just miss all my mates back in Perth thats all. Bit lonely here at times ah! And as you say, family just get on with their own lives don't they so I tend not to see my brother and wife and family as they are down in Ashford and sister in law is in Ipswich so only my son around this area! Mind you having a new grandchild makes me feel a heck of a lot better, going round for a cuddle tomorrow.
Hows things your end Libby?
Di
Yes feeling a lot better, having treatment for the depression and slowly but surely its getting better, just miss all my mates back in Perth thats all. Bit lonely here at times ah! And as you say, family just get on with their own lives don't they so I tend not to see my brother and wife and family as they are down in Ashford and sister in law is in Ipswich so only my son around this area! Mind you having a new grandchild makes me feel a heck of a lot better, going round for a cuddle tomorrow.
Hows things your end Libby?
Di
Me...well we are going back hopefully June. 09...came back for the wrong reasons....Again. boring story really!!
Enjoy your cuddle with your grandchild
LibbyX
Apr 28th 2008, 9:11 am
#118
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Brisbane - March 2008
Posts: 251
Re: moved back and not loving it
yeah, my mum and dad are pretty non exsistent in my lifenow both re married, grandparents great though, they have no idea! i think hubby told my bro last night when he was a bit worse for wear but cant remember either way! so ill have the 3rd degree tonight!!!!!!!!!! as we are v close to them, hubby mam and dad will be devastated but not going to take any sympathy for them as his mum rarely sees the kids even though she lives less than a mile! and she puts the waterworks on for fun when you mention oz, bit strange, but it took hubby til now to realise (4 months) that he wants to go back now as well, i hadnt even left!!!!!!!!!
Why wait so long? You only live once, do whats right for you and your immediate family, you need to get on with your life and you won't do that waiting about for 3 years.
all the best
May 2nd 2008, 10:53 am
#119
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 251
Re: moved back and not loving it
i agree with you, we actually told oh family tonight of our intentions of our return to oz, and they seemed ok!!!! which proves a point that i think they know they havnt been as close to us and the kids since we came home, but saying that in the end we didnt actually return for f&f . but his dad knew how much we loved it and actually said that he didnt blame us, because he even said that he couldnt think of anywhere better than oz for us to bring up our boys!! cant wait to get back feel like im in prison, but im not im, in my lovely home in wales, for now!!!!!
I know how you feel. We lived in Robina and I got real bad homesickness, came home after only 9 months. I now relise what I had and we are waiting for our house to sell. My parents had been over for Christmas and this made it worse for me, i just wanted to get home. I think the talk about home, and familiar people, combined with me struggling to find work, made me crack. I have been home for 2 years and 3 months now and we are going back as soon as we sellup.
I miss taking my little one to the beach after school and watch my bigger boys riding their bikes and not worrying myself sick at the thought of them going to the cinema in Robina.
The work thing still worries me slightly, but I have expanded on my CV since I have been back in the UK - so more confident. I had onlyhad 2 jobs in my life - both for years before kids and the second one for 7 years so my CV wasnt exacly bulging!!!!
May 2nd 2008, 12:22 pm
#120
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Joined: May 2007
Location: Gold Coast, Australia
Posts: 337
Re: moved back and not loving it
HI
I know how you feel. We lived in Robina and I got real bad homesickness, came home after only 9 months. I now relise what I had and we are waiting for our house to sell. My parents had been over for Christmas and this made it worse for me, i just wanted to get home. I think the talk about home, and familiar people, combined with me struggling to find work, made me crack. I have been home for 2 years and 3 months now and we are going back as soon as we sellup.
I miss taking my little one to the beach after school and watch my bigger boys riding their bikes and not worrying myself sick at the thought of them going to the cinema in Robina.
The work thing still worries me slightly, but I have expanded on my CV since I have been back in the UK - so more confident. I had onlyhad 2 jobs in my life - both for years before kids and the second one for 7 years so my CV wasnt exacly bulging!!!!
I know how you feel. We lived in Robina and I got real bad homesickness, came home after only 9 months. I now relise what I had and we are waiting for our house to sell. My parents had been over for Christmas and this made it worse for me, i just wanted to get home. I think the talk about home, and familiar people, combined with me struggling to find work, made me crack. I have been home for 2 years and 3 months now and we are going back as soon as we sellup.
I miss taking my little one to the beach after school and watch my bigger boys riding their bikes and not worrying myself sick at the thought of them going to the cinema in Robina.
The work thing still worries me slightly, but I have expanded on my CV since I have been back in the UK - so more confident. I had onlyhad 2 jobs in my life - both for years before kids and the second one for 7 years so my CV wasnt exacly bulging!!!!
Yes, Robina is a great place to live. There are lots of changes, shopping centre undergoing massive renovation, when completed will have a new David Jones, myers, Big W and lots of new restaurants.
Hope you manage to return soon and good luck on looking for jobs.