'A little less DAUNTED in Oz - The first five years!'
Mar 13th 2008, 12:10 pm
#136
Niamh,Paul + 4 :)
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: sunshine coast, now back home in Ireland :)
Posts: 1,861
Re: 'A little less DAUNTED in Oz!'
Wow, that was brilliant We have yet to go though it but i know ill be the same and like you i don't want any one at the airport as well for me and the kids because i know the family will cry and that will be us in bits as well. im even thinking of disappearing in the middle of the night 
hope it all keeps getting better and better well done
hope it all keeps getting better and better well done
Mar 13th 2008, 1:08 pm
#137
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Happily in Adelaide
Posts: 11,994
Re: 'A little less DAUNTED in Oz!'
Oh Mandy - I have been blubbing away reading your blog. So glad that you took the time to write it all down and so well that I could imagine the three of you standing there, hesitating for a nanosecond as you took the final step from the tunnel into the plane.
Sending you a big hug cos you're an inspiration.
xx
Sending you a big hug cos you're an inspiration.
xx
Mar 13th 2008, 1:40 pm
#138
Im here to help :)
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Flying to the Gold Coast 3rd July to live the dream - woo hoo!!!!!!!!
Posts: 272
Re: Emotional overload revisited - 3 months on!
THANKS FOR FINDING THIS THREAD FOR ME MODS 
OK HERE GOES WITH THE POST I MENTION ABOVE .............
Emotional overload.
Well we have been here slightly over 3 months now and for some reason it feels right to post all the emotional turmoil of the final few days as we left the UK. Australia feels like home now and I don’t feel I am jinxing anything by spilling the beans on the stiff upper lip I carried around for the final countdown LOL
The whole migration journey started in February of last year, initially in an attitude of ‘if I don’t at least try and do it then I will always regret not having tried kinda attitude’. The further we got down the line and the more research I did into it all the more I was convinced it was the life I wanted not just for me but for Rachel and Mark. Scott is an adult in his own right and I will always support him in everything and any decision about which path he wants his life to take. Obviously we want him here, he has his visa too, but the decision is his and his alone. I have spent many, many days wishing I had done it all earlier when he would have come with us but things happen when the time is right and the time was obviously not right those earlier times.
The hardest part was telling my Mum we were hoping to be going. Even harder was telling her that the visa had arrived and we were definitely off. Those that believe in fate may believe that the fact we got the visa acknowledgement in middle of night phone call whilst Mum was with us happened for a reason. I believe it did too. At least it meant I could tell her in person and give her a hug whilst I broke her heart! The early days after visa grant were very stressful where all relationships were concerned. I felt I was living two separate lives. Ecstatic that it was really going to happen and yet feeling guilty at leaving those most important to me. There were times when I felt relationships were ruined for ever but we worked through it and despite being further away, geographically, than ever, I feel we are all much closer now.
Our Skilled Independent Visa subclass 136 was granted on October 29th (we got a phone call at 2am) and it gave me great pleasure in handing in my notice at work the very same day! I was to leave work on 23rd November. The night of Visa grant we celebrated with Champagne which had been chilling in the fridge for months in anticipation of the good news. That night, YES under the influence, I booked our flights to leave on 26th November. There seemed no point hanging around and making everyone suffer longer. There really was an air of being so much aware of how difficult it was all going to be that I felt the need to just DO it and prove to everyone that us leaving didn’t mean us leaving their lives forever.
The weekend before we flew Scott, Joss, Mum and Martin all came and we went out for a meal together. To say I was dreading it was an understatement. I have never been great at showing my emotions and didn’t like the fact that I was going to have to face up to saying goodbyes. I needn’t have worried. The night was great and I am very proud of the way everyone coped - though I am sure I am not the only one who shed a few tears that night once alone. The house was devoid of furniture bar matresses on the floor and a few boxes of Scotts belongings which he was going to come back and collect after we had gone.
The Sunday afternoon when myself, Rachel, Mark, Scott and Joss were taking final photos and saying our stiff upper lip goodbyes was the hardest. I remember standing at the front window watching Scott and Joss walking up the street and round the corner to get their train and thinking it was the last time I was going to see my eldest child for a very long time,. That was the hardest point in the past year, and I still think back and feel crap. Having said that its not long until they are both here on holiday for 3 whole months and we plan to treasure every damned second! The photos we took that final weekend speak the whole truth!! Christ I looked tired, drained and so ill! I guess it’s a true reflection of how I was feeling - I can’t put it into words, the photos say it all!
The day before we flew Rachel and Mark were spending the day with Allan. We were all staying at Johns house for the final night in the UK and leaving by stretch limo at 5.30am the final morning (I had banned anyone from coming to the airport). After Rachel and Mark had left for a ‘Christmas Day’ at Allans house John helped me take the last of the stuff to the dump and then we took 6 VERY large suitcases containing all that was dear to us to his house ready for the big move the following day. We were entitled to double weight allowance as we were emigrating and boy did we need those extra kilograms! It ended up that we were just 1.5kg under our weight allowance which we were pretty impressed with considering we were expecting to be over and had visions of dumping stuff at Manchester airport.
Rachel and Mark arriving back from Allans and saying goodbye was awful. No other way to describe it. They were all heartbroken and whilst I selfishly wanted to cry at the guilt I was feeling at separating them. Allan and myself have had lots of crap between us but I have always worked hard for them to maintain a really close relationship. He is and will always be their Dad and it is important that they have a relationship with them even if it makes me feel uncomfortable.
We all spent a couple of hours sat around a kitchen table playing games which we all pretended to be focused on but I am pretty certain that the kids, like me, had their heads a million miles away with all sorts of weird and wonderful, not to mention scary emotions running through their heads!
I laid in bed next to Rachel that night, looking at Mark fast asleep on the floor wondering how on earth they had managed to switch off long enough to fall asleep. As hard as I tried to ‘switch off’ mentally my mind was racing with how those we were leaving behind must be feeling as well as terrified of the huge responsibility I was about to take on! I was terrified but not for one moment did I think I was doing the wrong thing.
I must have fallen into an exhausted sleep and woke to the alarm at some unearthly hour. Breakfast was quiet, I think we were all lost in our own silent thoughts. I had a niggling doubt that the Limo wasn’t going to turn up on time which in itself proved right! After an early morning phone call to the driver it seems he had forgotten us but was frantically making arrangements for us to be collected by alternative transport - a Mecedes mini bus thingy ma jig!! IT wasn’t quite what I had in mind but at least we would get to the airport on time! This was the first time I totally lost the plot! I had what could only be described as a childlike tantrum (the stress coming out I think) I remember bursting into tears cos the grand finale had been spoilt and the big treat I had planned for Rachel and Mark and kept secret for so long was ruined. In the cold light of day it was all irrelevant. They didn’t mind and once we had finally arrived at the airport neither did I - as it turned out the limo company refunded my money and paid for the alternative transport so I guess we did ok - but at the time it was like the end of the world!
Do you know that feeling when you arrive at the airport to go on holiday and all around you the world is going crazy trying to get first in the queue, panicking they have left the iron on etc etc? Well when I went into the departure lounge on that Monday morning I felt like I was wrapped up in a bubble! No one or nothing else existed just me and my bag holding passports which in turn contained the much coverted visa sticker! I felt like I was on auto pilot and focused on getting myself, Rachel and Mark along with 6 huge suitcases and 3 lots of hand luggage checked onto our flights as soon and as effortlessly as possible. I am probably guilty of becoming a little self centred in that check in queue. I knew I had Mark and Rachel with me but I needed to focus on the formalities at that stage. I was not quite prepared for what happened next!!
We stepped forward and handed over our passports, tickets and an email from Singapore airlines confirming that as we were emigrating we were entitled to double weight allowance. The very nice, far too slim and attractive hostess commented on the fact that we were emigrating and THAT is when the previous 11 months caught up with me! All I could think of was the people we were leaving behind and the stress of application not to mention the over riding fear of what I was about to do! For a while I wondered if perhaps I was totally insane or in the least about to make the biggest mistake of my life……. And I started crying!!!! Not embarrassing huge sobs but the sort of tears that just flood out of the corner of your eye and you have no hope in hells chance of stopping! I swear my voice was not my own when I confirmed that I had packed the bags myself and that noone else had tampered with them since. To be honest I think the poor gal just wanted me to filter off to her left and never clap eyes on me again! LOL Of course as always happens, I cry which in turn sets off Rachel (Mark is oblivious to it all - that’s cos he is male LOL)
Once the bags were all checked in we went straight through to join the line to go into the departure lounge. I still had this horrible fear that someone may turn up at the airport to say goodbye and there is no way I could have handled it. Yeah ok so maybe a little selfish but it was hard enough knowing that in Preston, Skipton and WGC there was the 3 most important people in our lives waking up knowing that we were about to leave the country. I had managed to compose myself and was getting into the ‘holiday’ spirit (head in the sand hey?) mode right up until we went through passport control when BANG it happened again!!! Shit - why do some people look so elegant when they cry and I just look like a wrinkled prune!! I’m not sure whether I actually managed to get through the metal detectors with out them going off ( they ALWAYS go off for me) or whether they turned a blind eye cos they didn’t want to cope with an emotional wreck!
I don’t remember how long we had to wait in the departure lounge but I do remember taking a photo of the plane which was about to take us off to the other side of the world. It was a very dark and miserable grey Manchester morning, the kind of day that you like to leave behind when going on holiday but that day it didn’t seem so bad at all. We sat, we ate, we drank, we walked and then we sat again before finally being called for boarding! Emotional overload part 3!! Handing over the boarding pass I was fine UNTIL the far too skinny and attractive hostess said ‘oh its YOU who is emigrating!’ Like we had all of a sudden become famous!! I remember croaking ‘yes’ in my finest snotty voice before heading down the tunnel trying to avoid eye contact with Rachel and Mark - the last thing I needed was for them to go getting emotional on me too - it was hard enough trying to APPEAR strong and in control with out actually having to DEMONSTRATE it! I needn’t have worried - Rachel already had a tear in her eye and Mark had gone very quiet (that is male talk for feeling emotional I have come to realise over the years)
I guess the final emotional meltdown point hit us all together! You know that feeling when you are racing down the run way about to take off and it feels like you left your stomach behind? Well that is when it hit all three of us all together! Nothing noisy or demonstrative just a quiet, all three of us holding hands, moment with a few silent tears. It was almost as if the feeling in the stomach was not the force of gravity of take off but instead the force of our previous life being left behind. Now I am not going to moan and complain about the UK and my life in it but as long as I remember it seems to have always been hard in someway or another. Leaving it behind was a huge sense of sadness, it was what I knew best, but it also signalled the beginning of our new life, and as much as I was scared about what the future held I was also excited beyond belief!…………………………….. (and I guess this is where the website begins!)
PHEW!! That took some writing! I felt it was important to get all that out - selfishly? Yeah maybe - but more importantly I want you all to know that this hasn’t been easy for any of us either! We have been through every single emotion possible over the previous 3 months (christ is that only how long it has been?) but we have managed to make it through and are happier than we ever dreamed possible. Australia is home now, we don’t miss our old lives but we do miss people. Scott is the best son anyone could have and I am immensely proud of everything he has achieved to date and any thing he goes on to achieve. In fact even if he decided to quit and go bumming around the world I would STILL be proud so long as he was happy!!! Joss - it is largely due to you that I can sleep at night knowing some one is out there looking out for my boy.
Mum - I miss you to the moon and back - but like I said ‘ I am only a thought away’. Don’t feel sad - feel proud! It is because of you that I am who I am!
OK - I guess its pretty weird but Allan - you have shown enormous strength and love for Rachel and Mark for agreeing for them to come here, I am pretty sure they will thank you for it in years to come. If they don’t then that will be YOUR genes not mine!! J
With all the love in the world
Mandy xxx (oh and them 2 too!) xxxx
OK HERE GOES WITH THE POST I MENTION ABOVE .............Emotional overload.
Well we have been here slightly over 3 months now and for some reason it feels right to post all the emotional turmoil of the final few days as we left the UK. Australia feels like home now and I don’t feel I am jinxing anything by spilling the beans on the stiff upper lip I carried around for the final countdown LOL
The whole migration journey started in February of last year, initially in an attitude of ‘if I don’t at least try and do it then I will always regret not having tried kinda attitude’. The further we got down the line and the more research I did into it all the more I was convinced it was the life I wanted not just for me but for Rachel and Mark. Scott is an adult in his own right and I will always support him in everything and any decision about which path he wants his life to take. Obviously we want him here, he has his visa too, but the decision is his and his alone. I have spent many, many days wishing I had done it all earlier when he would have come with us but things happen when the time is right and the time was obviously not right those earlier times.
The hardest part was telling my Mum we were hoping to be going. Even harder was telling her that the visa had arrived and we were definitely off. Those that believe in fate may believe that the fact we got the visa acknowledgement in middle of night phone call whilst Mum was with us happened for a reason. I believe it did too. At least it meant I could tell her in person and give her a hug whilst I broke her heart! The early days after visa grant were very stressful where all relationships were concerned. I felt I was living two separate lives. Ecstatic that it was really going to happen and yet feeling guilty at leaving those most important to me. There were times when I felt relationships were ruined for ever but we worked through it and despite being further away, geographically, than ever, I feel we are all much closer now.
Our Skilled Independent Visa subclass 136 was granted on October 29th (we got a phone call at 2am) and it gave me great pleasure in handing in my notice at work the very same day! I was to leave work on 23rd November. The night of Visa grant we celebrated with Champagne which had been chilling in the fridge for months in anticipation of the good news. That night, YES under the influence, I booked our flights to leave on 26th November. There seemed no point hanging around and making everyone suffer longer. There really was an air of being so much aware of how difficult it was all going to be that I felt the need to just DO it and prove to everyone that us leaving didn’t mean us leaving their lives forever.
The weekend before we flew Scott, Joss, Mum and Martin all came and we went out for a meal together. To say I was dreading it was an understatement. I have never been great at showing my emotions and didn’t like the fact that I was going to have to face up to saying goodbyes. I needn’t have worried. The night was great and I am very proud of the way everyone coped - though I am sure I am not the only one who shed a few tears that night once alone. The house was devoid of furniture bar matresses on the floor and a few boxes of Scotts belongings which he was going to come back and collect after we had gone.
The Sunday afternoon when myself, Rachel, Mark, Scott and Joss were taking final photos and saying our stiff upper lip goodbyes was the hardest. I remember standing at the front window watching Scott and Joss walking up the street and round the corner to get their train and thinking it was the last time I was going to see my eldest child for a very long time,. That was the hardest point in the past year, and I still think back and feel crap. Having said that its not long until they are both here on holiday for 3 whole months and we plan to treasure every damned second! The photos we took that final weekend speak the whole truth!! Christ I looked tired, drained and so ill! I guess it’s a true reflection of how I was feeling - I can’t put it into words, the photos say it all!
The day before we flew Rachel and Mark were spending the day with Allan. We were all staying at Johns house for the final night in the UK and leaving by stretch limo at 5.30am the final morning (I had banned anyone from coming to the airport). After Rachel and Mark had left for a ‘Christmas Day’ at Allans house John helped me take the last of the stuff to the dump and then we took 6 VERY large suitcases containing all that was dear to us to his house ready for the big move the following day. We were entitled to double weight allowance as we were emigrating and boy did we need those extra kilograms! It ended up that we were just 1.5kg under our weight allowance which we were pretty impressed with considering we were expecting to be over and had visions of dumping stuff at Manchester airport.
Rachel and Mark arriving back from Allans and saying goodbye was awful. No other way to describe it. They were all heartbroken and whilst I selfishly wanted to cry at the guilt I was feeling at separating them. Allan and myself have had lots of crap between us but I have always worked hard for them to maintain a really close relationship. He is and will always be their Dad and it is important that they have a relationship with them even if it makes me feel uncomfortable.
We all spent a couple of hours sat around a kitchen table playing games which we all pretended to be focused on but I am pretty certain that the kids, like me, had their heads a million miles away with all sorts of weird and wonderful, not to mention scary emotions running through their heads!
I laid in bed next to Rachel that night, looking at Mark fast asleep on the floor wondering how on earth they had managed to switch off long enough to fall asleep. As hard as I tried to ‘switch off’ mentally my mind was racing with how those we were leaving behind must be feeling as well as terrified of the huge responsibility I was about to take on! I was terrified but not for one moment did I think I was doing the wrong thing.
I must have fallen into an exhausted sleep and woke to the alarm at some unearthly hour. Breakfast was quiet, I think we were all lost in our own silent thoughts. I had a niggling doubt that the Limo wasn’t going to turn up on time which in itself proved right! After an early morning phone call to the driver it seems he had forgotten us but was frantically making arrangements for us to be collected by alternative transport - a Mecedes mini bus thingy ma jig!! IT wasn’t quite what I had in mind but at least we would get to the airport on time! This was the first time I totally lost the plot! I had what could only be described as a childlike tantrum (the stress coming out I think) I remember bursting into tears cos the grand finale had been spoilt and the big treat I had planned for Rachel and Mark and kept secret for so long was ruined. In the cold light of day it was all irrelevant. They didn’t mind and once we had finally arrived at the airport neither did I - as it turned out the limo company refunded my money and paid for the alternative transport so I guess we did ok - but at the time it was like the end of the world!
Do you know that feeling when you arrive at the airport to go on holiday and all around you the world is going crazy trying to get first in the queue, panicking they have left the iron on etc etc? Well when I went into the departure lounge on that Monday morning I felt like I was wrapped up in a bubble! No one or nothing else existed just me and my bag holding passports which in turn contained the much coverted visa sticker! I felt like I was on auto pilot and focused on getting myself, Rachel and Mark along with 6 huge suitcases and 3 lots of hand luggage checked onto our flights as soon and as effortlessly as possible. I am probably guilty of becoming a little self centred in that check in queue. I knew I had Mark and Rachel with me but I needed to focus on the formalities at that stage. I was not quite prepared for what happened next!!
We stepped forward and handed over our passports, tickets and an email from Singapore airlines confirming that as we were emigrating we were entitled to double weight allowance. The very nice, far too slim and attractive hostess commented on the fact that we were emigrating and THAT is when the previous 11 months caught up with me! All I could think of was the people we were leaving behind and the stress of application not to mention the over riding fear of what I was about to do! For a while I wondered if perhaps I was totally insane or in the least about to make the biggest mistake of my life……. And I started crying!!!! Not embarrassing huge sobs but the sort of tears that just flood out of the corner of your eye and you have no hope in hells chance of stopping! I swear my voice was not my own when I confirmed that I had packed the bags myself and that noone else had tampered with them since. To be honest I think the poor gal just wanted me to filter off to her left and never clap eyes on me again! LOL Of course as always happens, I cry which in turn sets off Rachel (Mark is oblivious to it all - that’s cos he is male LOL)
Once the bags were all checked in we went straight through to join the line to go into the departure lounge. I still had this horrible fear that someone may turn up at the airport to say goodbye and there is no way I could have handled it. Yeah ok so maybe a little selfish but it was hard enough knowing that in Preston, Skipton and WGC there was the 3 most important people in our lives waking up knowing that we were about to leave the country. I had managed to compose myself and was getting into the ‘holiday’ spirit (head in the sand hey?) mode right up until we went through passport control when BANG it happened again!!! Shit - why do some people look so elegant when they cry and I just look like a wrinkled prune!! I’m not sure whether I actually managed to get through the metal detectors with out them going off ( they ALWAYS go off for me) or whether they turned a blind eye cos they didn’t want to cope with an emotional wreck!
I don’t remember how long we had to wait in the departure lounge but I do remember taking a photo of the plane which was about to take us off to the other side of the world. It was a very dark and miserable grey Manchester morning, the kind of day that you like to leave behind when going on holiday but that day it didn’t seem so bad at all. We sat, we ate, we drank, we walked and then we sat again before finally being called for boarding! Emotional overload part 3!! Handing over the boarding pass I was fine UNTIL the far too skinny and attractive hostess said ‘oh its YOU who is emigrating!’ Like we had all of a sudden become famous!! I remember croaking ‘yes’ in my finest snotty voice before heading down the tunnel trying to avoid eye contact with Rachel and Mark - the last thing I needed was for them to go getting emotional on me too - it was hard enough trying to APPEAR strong and in control with out actually having to DEMONSTRATE it! I needn’t have worried - Rachel already had a tear in her eye and Mark had gone very quiet (that is male talk for feeling emotional I have come to realise over the years)
I guess the final emotional meltdown point hit us all together! You know that feeling when you are racing down the run way about to take off and it feels like you left your stomach behind? Well that is when it hit all three of us all together! Nothing noisy or demonstrative just a quiet, all three of us holding hands, moment with a few silent tears. It was almost as if the feeling in the stomach was not the force of gravity of take off but instead the force of our previous life being left behind. Now I am not going to moan and complain about the UK and my life in it but as long as I remember it seems to have always been hard in someway or another. Leaving it behind was a huge sense of sadness, it was what I knew best, but it also signalled the beginning of our new life, and as much as I was scared about what the future held I was also excited beyond belief!…………………………….. (and I guess this is where the website begins!)
PHEW!! That took some writing! I felt it was important to get all that out - selfishly? Yeah maybe - but more importantly I want you all to know that this hasn’t been easy for any of us either! We have been through every single emotion possible over the previous 3 months (christ is that only how long it has been?) but we have managed to make it through and are happier than we ever dreamed possible. Australia is home now, we don’t miss our old lives but we do miss people. Scott is the best son anyone could have and I am immensely proud of everything he has achieved to date and any thing he goes on to achieve. In fact even if he decided to quit and go bumming around the world I would STILL be proud so long as he was happy!!! Joss - it is largely due to you that I can sleep at night knowing some one is out there looking out for my boy.
Mum - I miss you to the moon and back - but like I said ‘ I am only a thought away’. Don’t feel sad - feel proud! It is because of you that I am who I am!
OK - I guess its pretty weird but Allan - you have shown enormous strength and love for Rachel and Mark for agreeing for them to come here, I am pretty sure they will thank you for it in years to come. If they don’t then that will be YOUR genes not mine!! J
With all the love in the world
Mandy xxx (oh and them 2 too!) xxxx
Good luck and may all your dreams come truex
Mar 14th 2008, 12:47 pm
#139
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Warner, brisbane
Posts: 519
Re: Emotional overload revisited - 3 months on!
I was with you all the way with your leaving what an honest heartfelt post.
Mar 14th 2008, 12:53 pm
#140
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,991
Re: 'A little less DAUNTED in Oz!'
Thanks for all the lovely comments everyone! Australia seems to agree with me 
I have posted it all onto our website and so far it hasnt caused any major upsets. i was most concerned about upsetting my son and mum too much but havent heard any thing negative so far
Australia seems to agree with me I have posted it all onto our website and so far it hasnt caused any major upsets. i was most concerned about upsetting my son and mum too much but havent heard any thing negative so far
Mar 15th 2008, 8:21 am
#141
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2007
Location: Bunbury, WA
Posts: 61
Re: 'A little less DAUNTED in Oz!'
Aw Mandy!!! I've just read your post and my hanky is soaked. 
But I know you defo made the right decision. I mean you wouldn't have met me otherwise would you lol 
and I wouldn't have a job, so it's fate eh!!!!
See ya soon
Angie
xxxx
But I know you defo made the right decision. I mean you wouldn't have met me otherwise would you lol and I wouldn't have a job, so it's fate eh!!!! See ya soon
Angie
xxxx
Mar 15th 2008, 8:29 am
#142
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,991
Re: 'A little less DAUNTED in Oz!'
how very true Streuth you missed a day at work today!!!!!!!! 
, you can fill me in when I nxt see wink_smile:
Mar 16th 2008, 1:43 pm
#144
Brendan,cath&family,Derry
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 209
Re: 'A little less DAUNTED in Oz!'
Hi folks, really sounds like a lot of fun there in Bunbury.
Wanted to ask about laptops etc. Will mine work if i bring it over.
Brendan
Wanted to ask about laptops etc. Will mine work if i bring it over.
Brendan
Mar 16th 2008, 3:44 pm
#145
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Hervey Bay
Posts: 645
Re: 'A little less DAUNTED in Oz!'
Hi Mandy
Glad to hear things are going well for you
minibelle
Glad to hear things are going well for you
minibelle
Mar 17th 2008, 8:37 am
#147
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 103
Re: Emotional overload revisited - 3 months on!
THANKS FOR FINDING THIS THREAD FOR ME MODS OK HERE GOES WITH THE POST I MENTION ABOVE .............
Emotional overload.
Well we have been here slightly over 3 months now and for some reason it feels right to post all the emotional turmoil of the final few days as we left the UK. Australia feels like home now and I don’t feel I am jinxing anything by spilling the beans on the stiff upper lip I carried around for the final countdown LOL
The whole migration journey started in February of last year, initially in an attitude of ‘if I don’t at least try and do it then I will always regret not having tried kinda attitude’. The further we got down the line and the more research I did into it all the more I was convinced it was the life I wanted not just for me but for Rachel and Mark. Scott is an adult in his own right and I will always support him in everything and any decision about which path he wants his life to take. Obviously we want him here, he has his visa too, but the decision is his and his alone. I have spent many, many days wishing I had done it all earlier when he would have come with us but things happen when the time is right and the time was obviously not right those earlier times.
The hardest part was telling my Mum we were hoping to be going. Even harder was telling her that the visa had arrived and we were definitely off. Those that believe in fate may believe that the fact we got the visa acknowledgement in middle of night phone call whilst Mum was with us happened for a reason. I believe it did too. At least it meant I could tell her in person and give her a hug whilst I broke her heart! The early days after visa grant were very stressful where all relationships were concerned. I felt I was living two separate lives. Ecstatic that it was really going to happen and yet feeling guilty at leaving those most important to me. There were times when I felt relationships were ruined for ever but we worked through it and despite being further away, geographically, than ever, I feel we are all much closer now.
Our Skilled Independent Visa subclass 136 was granted on October 29th (we got a phone call at 2am) and it gave me great pleasure in handing in my notice at work the very same day! I was to leave work on 23rd November. The night of Visa grant we celebrated with Champagne which had been chilling in the fridge for months in anticipation of the good news. That night, YES under the influence, I booked our flights to leave on 26th November. There seemed no point hanging around and making everyone suffer longer. There really was an air of being so much aware of how difficult it was all going to be that I felt the need to just DO it and prove to everyone that us leaving didn’t mean us leaving their lives forever.
The weekend before we flew Scott, Joss, Mum and Martin all came and we went out for a meal together. To say I was dreading it was an understatement. I have never been great at showing my emotions and didn’t like the fact that I was going to have to face up to saying goodbyes. I needn’t have worried. The night was great and I am very proud of the way everyone coped - though I am sure I am not the only one who shed a few tears that night once alone. The house was devoid of furniture bar matresses on the floor and a few boxes of Scotts belongings which he was going to come back and collect after we had gone.
The Sunday afternoon when myself, Rachel, Mark, Scott and Joss were taking final photos and saying our stiff upper lip goodbyes was the hardest. I remember standing at the front window watching Scott and Joss walking up the street and round the corner to get their train and thinking it was the last time I was going to see my eldest child for a very long time,. That was the hardest point in the past year, and I still think back and feel crap. Having said that its not long until they are both here on holiday for 3 whole months and we plan to treasure every damned second! The photos we took that final weekend speak the whole truth!! Christ I looked tired, drained and so ill! I guess it’s a true reflection of how I was feeling - I can’t put it into words, the photos say it all!
The day before we flew Rachel and Mark were spending the day with Allan. We were all staying at Johns house for the final night in the UK and leaving by stretch limo at 5.30am the final morning (I had banned anyone from coming to the airport). After Rachel and Mark had left for a ‘Christmas Day’ at Allans house John helped me take the last of the stuff to the dump and then we took 6 VERY large suitcases containing all that was dear to us to his house ready for the big move the following day. We were entitled to double weight allowance as we were emigrating and boy did we need those extra kilograms! It ended up that we were just 1.5kg under our weight allowance which we were pretty impressed with considering we were expecting to be over and had visions of dumping stuff at Manchester airport.
Rachel and Mark arriving back from Allans and saying goodbye was awful. No other way to describe it. They were all heartbroken and whilst I selfishly wanted to cry at the guilt I was feeling at separating them. Allan and myself have had lots of crap between us but I have always worked hard for them to maintain a really close relationship. He is and will always be their Dad and it is important that they have a relationship with them even if it makes me feel uncomfortable.
We all spent a couple of hours sat around a kitchen table playing games which we all pretended to be focused on but I am pretty certain that the kids, like me, had their heads a million miles away with all sorts of weird and wonderful, not to mention scary emotions running through their heads!
I laid in bed next to Rachel that night, looking at Mark fast asleep on the floor wondering how on earth they had managed to switch off long enough to fall asleep. As hard as I tried to ‘switch off’ mentally my mind was racing with how those we were leaving behind must be feeling as well as terrified of the huge responsibility I was about to take on! I was terrified but not for one moment did I think I was doing the wrong thing.
I must have fallen into an exhausted sleep and woke to the alarm at some unearthly hour. Breakfast was quiet, I think we were all lost in our own silent thoughts. I had a niggling doubt that the Limo wasn’t going to turn up on time which in itself proved right! After an early morning phone call to the driver it seems he had forgotten us but was frantically making arrangements for us to be collected by alternative transport - a Mecedes mini bus thingy ma jig!! IT wasn’t quite what I had in mind but at least we would get to the airport on time! This was the first time I totally lost the plot! I had what could only be described as a childlike tantrum (the stress coming out I think) I remember bursting into tears cos the grand finale had been spoilt and the big treat I had planned for Rachel and Mark and kept secret for so long was ruined. In the cold light of day it was all irrelevant. They didn’t mind and once we had finally arrived at the airport neither did I - as it turned out the limo company refunded my money and paid for the alternative transport so I guess we did ok - but at the time it was like the end of the world!
Do you know that feeling when you arrive at the airport to go on holiday and all around you the world is going crazy trying to get first in the queue, panicking they have left the iron on etc etc? Well when I went into the departure lounge on that Monday morning I felt like I was wrapped up in a bubble! No one or nothing else existed just me and my bag holding passports which in turn contained the much coverted visa sticker! I felt like I was on auto pilot and focused on getting myself, Rachel and Mark along with 6 huge suitcases and 3 lots of hand luggage checked onto our flights as soon and as effortlessly as possible. I am probably guilty of becoming a little self centred in that check in queue. I knew I had Mark and Rachel with me but I needed to focus on the formalities at that stage. I was not quite prepared for what happened next!!
We stepped forward and handed over our passports, tickets and an email from Singapore airlines confirming that as we were emigrating we were entitled to double weight allowance. The very nice, far too slim and attractive hostess commented on the fact that we were emigrating and THAT is when the previous 11 months caught up with me! All I could think of was the people we were leaving behind and the stress of application not to mention the over riding fear of what I was about to do! For a while I wondered if perhaps I was totally insane or in the least about to make the biggest mistake of my life……. And I started crying!!!! Not embarrassing huge sobs but the sort of tears that just flood out of the corner of your eye and you have no hope in hells chance of stopping! I swear my voice was not my own when I confirmed that I had packed the bags myself and that noone else had tampered with them since. To be honest I think the poor gal just wanted me to filter off to her left and never clap eyes on me again! LOL Of course as always happens, I cry which in turn sets off Rachel (Mark is oblivious to it all - that’s cos he is male LOL)
Once the bags were all checked in we went straight through to join the line to go into the departure lounge. I still had this horrible fear that someone may turn up at the airport to say goodbye and there is no way I could have handled it. Yeah ok so maybe a little selfish but it was hard enough knowing that in Preston, Skipton and WGC there was the 3 most important people in our lives waking up knowing that we were about to leave the country. I had managed to compose myself and was getting into the ‘holiday’ spirit (head in the sand hey?) mode right up until we went through passport control when BANG it happened again!!! Shit - why do some people look so elegant when they cry and I just look like a wrinkled prune!! I’m not sure whether I actually managed to get through the metal detectors with out them going off ( they ALWAYS go off for me) or whether they turned a blind eye cos they didn’t want to cope with an emotional wreck!
I don’t remember how long we had to wait in the departure lounge but I do remember taking a photo of the plane which was about to take us off to the other side of the world. It was a very dark and miserable grey Manchester morning, the kind of day that you like to leave behind when going on holiday but that day it didn’t seem so bad at all. We sat, we ate, we drank, we walked and then we sat again before finally being called for boarding! Emotional overload part 3!! Handing over the boarding pass I was fine UNTIL the far too skinny and attractive hostess said ‘oh its YOU who is emigrating!’ Like we had all of a sudden become famous!! I remember croaking ‘yes’ in my finest snotty voice before heading down the tunnel trying to avoid eye contact with Rachel and Mark - the last thing I needed was for them to go getting emotional on me too - it was hard enough trying to APPEAR strong and in control with out actually having to DEMONSTRATE it! I needn’t have worried - Rachel already had a tear in her eye and Mark had gone very quiet (that is male talk for feeling emotional I have come to realise over the years)
I guess the final emotional meltdown point hit us all together! You know that feeling when you are racing down the run way about to take off and it feels like you left your stomach behind? Well that is when it hit all three of us all together! Nothing noisy or demonstrative just a quiet, all three of us holding hands, moment with a few silent tears. It was almost as if the feeling in the stomach was not the force of gravity of take off but instead the force of our previous life being left behind. Now I am not going to moan and complain about the UK and my life in it but as long as I remember it seems to have always been hard in someway or another. Leaving it behind was a huge sense of sadness, it was what I knew best, but it also signalled the beginning of our new life, and as much as I was scared about what the future held I was also excited beyond belief!…………………………….. (and I guess this is where the website begins!)
PHEW!! That took some writing! I felt it was important to get all that out - selfishly? Yeah maybe - but more importantly I want you all to know that this hasn’t been easy for any of us either! We have been through every single emotion possible over the previous 3 months (christ is that only how long it has been?) but we have managed to make it through and are happier than we ever dreamed possible. Australia is home now, we don’t miss our old lives but we do miss people. Scott is the best son anyone could have and I am immensely proud of everything he has achieved to date and any thing he goes on to achieve. In fact even if he decided to quit and go bumming around the world I would STILL be proud so long as he was happy!!! Joss - it is largely due to you that I can sleep at night knowing some one is out there looking out for my boy.
Mum - I miss you to the moon and back - but like I said ‘ I am only a thought away’. Don’t feel sad - feel proud! It is because of you that I am who I am!
OK - I guess its pretty weird but Allan - you have shown enormous strength and love for Rachel and Mark for agreeing for them to come here, I am pretty sure they will thank you for it in years to come. If they don’t then that will be YOUR genes not mine!! J
With all the love in the world
Mandy xxx (oh and them 2 too!) xxxx
OK HERE GOES WITH THE POST I MENTION ABOVE .............Emotional overload.
Well we have been here slightly over 3 months now and for some reason it feels right to post all the emotional turmoil of the final few days as we left the UK. Australia feels like home now and I don’t feel I am jinxing anything by spilling the beans on the stiff upper lip I carried around for the final countdown LOL
The whole migration journey started in February of last year, initially in an attitude of ‘if I don’t at least try and do it then I will always regret not having tried kinda attitude’. The further we got down the line and the more research I did into it all the more I was convinced it was the life I wanted not just for me but for Rachel and Mark. Scott is an adult in his own right and I will always support him in everything and any decision about which path he wants his life to take. Obviously we want him here, he has his visa too, but the decision is his and his alone. I have spent many, many days wishing I had done it all earlier when he would have come with us but things happen when the time is right and the time was obviously not right those earlier times.
The hardest part was telling my Mum we were hoping to be going. Even harder was telling her that the visa had arrived and we were definitely off. Those that believe in fate may believe that the fact we got the visa acknowledgement in middle of night phone call whilst Mum was with us happened for a reason. I believe it did too. At least it meant I could tell her in person and give her a hug whilst I broke her heart! The early days after visa grant were very stressful where all relationships were concerned. I felt I was living two separate lives. Ecstatic that it was really going to happen and yet feeling guilty at leaving those most important to me. There were times when I felt relationships were ruined for ever but we worked through it and despite being further away, geographically, than ever, I feel we are all much closer now.
Our Skilled Independent Visa subclass 136 was granted on October 29th (we got a phone call at 2am) and it gave me great pleasure in handing in my notice at work the very same day! I was to leave work on 23rd November. The night of Visa grant we celebrated with Champagne which had been chilling in the fridge for months in anticipation of the good news. That night, YES under the influence, I booked our flights to leave on 26th November. There seemed no point hanging around and making everyone suffer longer. There really was an air of being so much aware of how difficult it was all going to be that I felt the need to just DO it and prove to everyone that us leaving didn’t mean us leaving their lives forever.
The weekend before we flew Scott, Joss, Mum and Martin all came and we went out for a meal together. To say I was dreading it was an understatement. I have never been great at showing my emotions and didn’t like the fact that I was going to have to face up to saying goodbyes. I needn’t have worried. The night was great and I am very proud of the way everyone coped - though I am sure I am not the only one who shed a few tears that night once alone. The house was devoid of furniture bar matresses on the floor and a few boxes of Scotts belongings which he was going to come back and collect after we had gone.
The Sunday afternoon when myself, Rachel, Mark, Scott and Joss were taking final photos and saying our stiff upper lip goodbyes was the hardest. I remember standing at the front window watching Scott and Joss walking up the street and round the corner to get their train and thinking it was the last time I was going to see my eldest child for a very long time,. That was the hardest point in the past year, and I still think back and feel crap. Having said that its not long until they are both here on holiday for 3 whole months and we plan to treasure every damned second! The photos we took that final weekend speak the whole truth!! Christ I looked tired, drained and so ill! I guess it’s a true reflection of how I was feeling - I can’t put it into words, the photos say it all!
The day before we flew Rachel and Mark were spending the day with Allan. We were all staying at Johns house for the final night in the UK and leaving by stretch limo at 5.30am the final morning (I had banned anyone from coming to the airport). After Rachel and Mark had left for a ‘Christmas Day’ at Allans house John helped me take the last of the stuff to the dump and then we took 6 VERY large suitcases containing all that was dear to us to his house ready for the big move the following day. We were entitled to double weight allowance as we were emigrating and boy did we need those extra kilograms! It ended up that we were just 1.5kg under our weight allowance which we were pretty impressed with considering we were expecting to be over and had visions of dumping stuff at Manchester airport.
Rachel and Mark arriving back from Allans and saying goodbye was awful. No other way to describe it. They were all heartbroken and whilst I selfishly wanted to cry at the guilt I was feeling at separating them. Allan and myself have had lots of crap between us but I have always worked hard for them to maintain a really close relationship. He is and will always be their Dad and it is important that they have a relationship with them even if it makes me feel uncomfortable.
We all spent a couple of hours sat around a kitchen table playing games which we all pretended to be focused on but I am pretty certain that the kids, like me, had their heads a million miles away with all sorts of weird and wonderful, not to mention scary emotions running through their heads!
I laid in bed next to Rachel that night, looking at Mark fast asleep on the floor wondering how on earth they had managed to switch off long enough to fall asleep. As hard as I tried to ‘switch off’ mentally my mind was racing with how those we were leaving behind must be feeling as well as terrified of the huge responsibility I was about to take on! I was terrified but not for one moment did I think I was doing the wrong thing.
I must have fallen into an exhausted sleep and woke to the alarm at some unearthly hour. Breakfast was quiet, I think we were all lost in our own silent thoughts. I had a niggling doubt that the Limo wasn’t going to turn up on time which in itself proved right! After an early morning phone call to the driver it seems he had forgotten us but was frantically making arrangements for us to be collected by alternative transport - a Mecedes mini bus thingy ma jig!! IT wasn’t quite what I had in mind but at least we would get to the airport on time! This was the first time I totally lost the plot! I had what could only be described as a childlike tantrum (the stress coming out I think) I remember bursting into tears cos the grand finale had been spoilt and the big treat I had planned for Rachel and Mark and kept secret for so long was ruined. In the cold light of day it was all irrelevant. They didn’t mind and once we had finally arrived at the airport neither did I - as it turned out the limo company refunded my money and paid for the alternative transport so I guess we did ok - but at the time it was like the end of the world!
Do you know that feeling when you arrive at the airport to go on holiday and all around you the world is going crazy trying to get first in the queue, panicking they have left the iron on etc etc? Well when I went into the departure lounge on that Monday morning I felt like I was wrapped up in a bubble! No one or nothing else existed just me and my bag holding passports which in turn contained the much coverted visa sticker! I felt like I was on auto pilot and focused on getting myself, Rachel and Mark along with 6 huge suitcases and 3 lots of hand luggage checked onto our flights as soon and as effortlessly as possible. I am probably guilty of becoming a little self centred in that check in queue. I knew I had Mark and Rachel with me but I needed to focus on the formalities at that stage. I was not quite prepared for what happened next!!
We stepped forward and handed over our passports, tickets and an email from Singapore airlines confirming that as we were emigrating we were entitled to double weight allowance. The very nice, far too slim and attractive hostess commented on the fact that we were emigrating and THAT is when the previous 11 months caught up with me! All I could think of was the people we were leaving behind and the stress of application not to mention the over riding fear of what I was about to do! For a while I wondered if perhaps I was totally insane or in the least about to make the biggest mistake of my life……. And I started crying!!!! Not embarrassing huge sobs but the sort of tears that just flood out of the corner of your eye and you have no hope in hells chance of stopping! I swear my voice was not my own when I confirmed that I had packed the bags myself and that noone else had tampered with them since. To be honest I think the poor gal just wanted me to filter off to her left and never clap eyes on me again! LOL Of course as always happens, I cry which in turn sets off Rachel (Mark is oblivious to it all - that’s cos he is male LOL)
Once the bags were all checked in we went straight through to join the line to go into the departure lounge. I still had this horrible fear that someone may turn up at the airport to say goodbye and there is no way I could have handled it. Yeah ok so maybe a little selfish but it was hard enough knowing that in Preston, Skipton and WGC there was the 3 most important people in our lives waking up knowing that we were about to leave the country. I had managed to compose myself and was getting into the ‘holiday’ spirit (head in the sand hey?) mode right up until we went through passport control when BANG it happened again!!! Shit - why do some people look so elegant when they cry and I just look like a wrinkled prune!! I’m not sure whether I actually managed to get through the metal detectors with out them going off ( they ALWAYS go off for me) or whether they turned a blind eye cos they didn’t want to cope with an emotional wreck!
I don’t remember how long we had to wait in the departure lounge but I do remember taking a photo of the plane which was about to take us off to the other side of the world. It was a very dark and miserable grey Manchester morning, the kind of day that you like to leave behind when going on holiday but that day it didn’t seem so bad at all. We sat, we ate, we drank, we walked and then we sat again before finally being called for boarding! Emotional overload part 3!! Handing over the boarding pass I was fine UNTIL the far too skinny and attractive hostess said ‘oh its YOU who is emigrating!’ Like we had all of a sudden become famous!! I remember croaking ‘yes’ in my finest snotty voice before heading down the tunnel trying to avoid eye contact with Rachel and Mark - the last thing I needed was for them to go getting emotional on me too - it was hard enough trying to APPEAR strong and in control with out actually having to DEMONSTRATE it! I needn’t have worried - Rachel already had a tear in her eye and Mark had gone very quiet (that is male talk for feeling emotional I have come to realise over the years)
I guess the final emotional meltdown point hit us all together! You know that feeling when you are racing down the run way about to take off and it feels like you left your stomach behind? Well that is when it hit all three of us all together! Nothing noisy or demonstrative just a quiet, all three of us holding hands, moment with a few silent tears. It was almost as if the feeling in the stomach was not the force of gravity of take off but instead the force of our previous life being left behind. Now I am not going to moan and complain about the UK and my life in it but as long as I remember it seems to have always been hard in someway or another. Leaving it behind was a huge sense of sadness, it was what I knew best, but it also signalled the beginning of our new life, and as much as I was scared about what the future held I was also excited beyond belief!…………………………….. (and I guess this is where the website begins!)
PHEW!! That took some writing! I felt it was important to get all that out - selfishly? Yeah maybe - but more importantly I want you all to know that this hasn’t been easy for any of us either! We have been through every single emotion possible over the previous 3 months (christ is that only how long it has been?) but we have managed to make it through and are happier than we ever dreamed possible. Australia is home now, we don’t miss our old lives but we do miss people. Scott is the best son anyone could have and I am immensely proud of everything he has achieved to date and any thing he goes on to achieve. In fact even if he decided to quit and go bumming around the world I would STILL be proud so long as he was happy!!! Joss - it is largely due to you that I can sleep at night knowing some one is out there looking out for my boy.
Mum - I miss you to the moon and back - but like I said ‘ I am only a thought away’. Don’t feel sad - feel proud! It is because of you that I am who I am!
OK - I guess its pretty weird but Allan - you have shown enormous strength and love for Rachel and Mark for agreeing for them to come here, I am pretty sure they will thank you for it in years to come. If they don’t then that will be YOUR genes not mine!! J
With all the love in the world
Mandy xxx (oh and them 2 too!) xxxx
Mar 17th 2008, 3:55 pm
#148
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 25
Re: 'A little less DAUNTED in Oz!'
Hi mandy
really enjoyed reading about your first month in oz, and glad to hear that you are settling in. wondered if you may be able to answer a couple of questions for me please. we are applying to emigrate to adelaide, all the kids can think about is wether the playstation three and their laptops will work over there, or should we sell and buy new when we get there. we want to keep the kids sweet as it is such a big upheavel for them as you yourself know all too well.
Thanks for taking time to read my message and if you could answer my questions i would be very greatful. p.s do they do digital t.v over there too. that was another question the kids keep asking. "what about the programmes we like to watch". hopefully when we get there they wont be in long enough to watch the t.v.
Thanks again
Chris. T
really enjoyed reading about your first month in oz, and glad to hear that you are settling in. wondered if you may be able to answer a couple of questions for me please. we are applying to emigrate to adelaide, all the kids can think about is wether the playstation three and their laptops will work over there, or should we sell and buy new when we get there. we want to keep the kids sweet as it is such a big upheavel for them as you yourself know all too well.
Thanks for taking time to read my message and if you could answer my questions i would be very greatful. p.s do they do digital t.v over there too. that was another question the kids keep asking. "what about the programmes we like to watch". hopefully when we get there they wont be in long enough to watch the t.v.
Thanks again
Chris. T
Mar 18th 2008, 5:29 am
#149
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,991
Re: 'A little less DAUNTED in Oz!'
Hi mandy
really enjoyed reading about your first month in oz, and glad to hear that you are settling in. wondered if you may be able to answer a couple of questions for me please. we are applying to emigrate to adelaide, all the kids can think about is wether the playstation three and their laptops will work over there, or should we sell and buy new when we get there. we want to keep the kids sweet as it is such a big upheavel for them as you yourself know all too well.
Thanks for taking time to read my message and if you could answer my questions i would be very greatful. p.s do they do digital t.v over there too. that was another question the kids keep asking. "what about the programmes we like to watch". hopefully when we get there they wont be in long enough to watch the t.v.
Thanks again
Chris. T
really enjoyed reading about your first month in oz, and glad to hear that you are settling in. wondered if you may be able to answer a couple of questions for me please. we are applying to emigrate to adelaide, all the kids can think about is wether the playstation three and their laptops will work over there, or should we sell and buy new when we get there. we want to keep the kids sweet as it is such a big upheavel for them as you yourself know all too well.
Thanks for taking time to read my message and if you could answer my questions i would be very greatful. p.s do they do digital t.v over there too. that was another question the kids keep asking. "what about the programmes we like to watch". hopefully when we get there they wont be in long enough to watch the t.v.
Thanks again
Chris. T
On the techno side - dont quote me on this BUT my sons playstation 2 works so i presume the 3 will too although i THINK (any technos out there??) that the console may need to be chipped to play games bought out here???????????? not sure if i read that somewhere or am dreaming it LOL
We bought our laptop out with us and it works perfectly fine, in fact it was our life line when we first arrived looking for rentals etc not to mention keeping in touch with family back in the UK.
As for digital - Im not sure. I know they do FOxtel which i think is like Sky but we dont have it. The tv programmes are pretty rubbish but we very very rarely even switch it on! maybe that will change with winter hey?
Good luck with the move
mandy xxx
Mar 29th 2008, 12:28 pm
#150
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,991
Re: 'A little less DAUNTED in Oz!'
can i have some sympathy please Im injured 
how many people do you know who get attacked by a falling 2.5kg block of butter 
just waiting to see if i have a nice shiney black eye in the morning
Im injured how many people do you know who get attacked by a falling 2.5kg block of butter just waiting to see if i have a nice shiney black eye in the morning