louie

Then they told you wrong. It happens a lot judging by other posts on here.

Have a look at the Citizenship Wizard and the Residence Calculator on the DIAC site.

Basically you need to have spent 3 of the last 4 years prior to applying in Australia, with no more than 90 days absence in the year prior to applying.

Pollyana

The hotlines are notorious for giving very general information. You should always double check what they say with the DIAC website and/or an agent.

Irish Guinness

Very good advice here, from Pollyana

SteveATD

Hi Steve. I have lived in Australia for 10 years and I can relate in every respect to your story. I was really happy with my life in the UK, but my wife (who I met in the UK) is Australian and wanted to return home. I thought I would give Australia a go. I didn't really have a plan. I probably thought the same as you ... give it a couple of years and if it doesn't work out, move back home. Although I didn't have any contact with him, my father died while I was living here and I wasn't able to return for his funeral. I am torn between my family here and my family in the UK. My mother, with whom I am very close, is not getting any younger and I feel extremely guilty for being so far away. I would return to the UK tomorrow if I could. However, I know my wife wouldn't be happy and we now have two children to think about. I work in construction and, after ten years, things have move don in the UK and I would have to start near the bottom of the ladder - it has taken me a long time and a lot of hard work to even get off the bottom of the ladder here - I am nowhere near where I should be experience-wise. My self confidence has been shot to pieces since moving to Oz, we have been financially crippled and I have found it the most lonely experience of my life (and I have faced some pretty tough times over the years). I didn't mean to go into a long explanation. Thank you for posting your comments. I thought I was alone in these feelings. Cheers, Steve.

SteveATD

P.S. ... as for 'the plan', after 10 years, I still don't know if I am staying! Still trying to make it work. I don't think I will ever be able to call Oz home. Yet, when I go home, people have moved on and I don't feel completely at home there either (the last time I returned home was 5 years ago, due to circumstances rather than choice). Has it been worth it? Not in the slightest!

Pollyana

Don't ever think you're alone Steve Welcome to BE, and I hope you find some kind of reassurance from the fact that a lot of people here identify with your kind of feelings. Many of us are now torn between life here or life at home for so many reasons - jobs, family, friends....can we afford to go home, can we get new jobs if we do go home......the questions are so many and so varied as we all have different experiences.
Australia certainly isn't the "dream" for me - but to go home now I would be soooooo broke, would be giving up a job I love, and would be going back to a country I left 10 years ago.
What's that song, "Torn between two countries, feeling like a fool......"

Snap Shot

Isn't it interesting (I won't use the word, 'funny' as a lot of people aren't finding much to laugh about) that some are in Australia or even NZ hankering for the UK. Like they left part of their soul behind.

Whereas some are in the UK hankering after Australia or again, even NZ. Like they left part of their soul behind.

I sometimes missed the, 'me' that I was in Britain. But I've got most, if not all of that back. Call it a coping strategy if you like.

As for those with, 'transatlantic children, families' oh ok, transpacific children well......

I don't have children, never wanted any we agreed on that. My kiwi husband once simply announced one day, 'if we had kids we would definitely have gone back to New Zealand, no question'. I thought, well thanks for including me in the decision making process . I recently reminded him of that remark and he back-pedalled and said, 'do you really think I meant that ?'

I was hurt by that announcement but just reminded myself well, good job we're not having children. Children with grandparents 12,000 miles apart. Spare me the drama Kids growing up as Aussies or Kiwi's as it's the only culture they can relate to, NO ! My kiwi husband was/is Anglicised enough for me to relate to him. His sister is a born and raised kiwi, married to a born and raised kiwi and they are parents to their 3 NZ born kiwi children.

Spare me the double drama of shared custody arrangements if we split up and ended up 12,000 miles apart (Although plenty do)

SteveATD

Thank you for your kind words. It is reassuring I may not be alone.

SteveATD

Yes, I feel terrible that my mother is missing seeing her grandchildren grow up and that our children do not have the same relationship with their grandmother in the UK that they do with their Australian grandparents (who actually live 4 hours away). I also feel terrible that I am not enjoying quality time with my mother during her retirement. I don't want to miss out on the good years and only looking after her when she is bed-ridden and frail. And vice versa ... she is missing out on our life too. Personally, the weather and having a bigger house (which is what being here amounts to) doesn't matter to me. My quality of life is so much worse now than it was in the UK. I do not have any friends, other than acquaintances at work. I have been let down and taken advantage of with every job I have had here - perhaps apart from my current job (but waiting for it to happen, such is my lack in confidence now). I am very unfulfilled in my job - being here has prevented me fulfilling my career ambitions. My current job is well below where I should be in terms of my age and experience. My health and wellbeing has deteriorated significantly over the last ten years. I am emotionally and financially crippled. I am pretty much here for my wife and children. As I said before, I didn't come here to escape my life in the UK. I came here to be with my wife, because she missed Australia while in the UK. I would go home tomorrow if I could. Sorry for being so negative! It has been quite therapeutic airing my views though!

jambo72

I think you should talk to your GP if you're health is suffering, you could slip into depression.

I feel for you it must be terrible to feel trapped. I actually wish I had never emigrated as it would take so much pressure of me now with my residency ticking away. I'm the opposite though now...I just can't breathe back in the UK. I miss the 'nothingness' of Oz if that makes sense?

Anyway I hope things work out, I think you need to get some extended leave to come home for a bit. What does your wife say?

januarymix

Thanks for the thread, it's wonderful to read everyone and .. just my thanks.

MarylandNed

Thanks for sharing your story. I have moved from the UK to Canada, back to the UK, and then to the US. Much of your story resonates with me (although in my case it was my mother-in-law who passed away in the UK).

This is the key part for me. Life in England was "perfect" (your word) and you took a risk for the sake of adventure. That was a brave thing to do but adventure involves risk...and risk, by definition, has the potential for an undesirable outcome.

I see this a lot. People think they (as a family) will either be happy or unhappy after a move and can come home if it doesn't work out - but it's usually more complicated than that. What many people don't consider is the possibility that there might be a mix - i.e. some family members might be happy and others might be unhappy (which is what has happened to you). What do you do in that case? Also, it becomes increasingly more difficult to uproot kids as they get older and make friends.

You sound like someone who is a great father and husband. I hope you find happiness and peace.

aries

I was in Oz for 52 years and have a Permanent Resident Visa. However if I don't return within 3 years I don't have the right to return and stay as a resident. I have 17 months left to decide

I think you need to receive more definite information in writing about your own situation.

steve-n-jo

Steve

I feel I now have a 'crew member' and am not sailing single handed, your situation is so similar to mine and your feelings are the same. Coincidentally I live at Salisbury Heights am In construction and also took a step so far back I still find myself shaking my head thinking 'wow what happened..and what was I thinking'
I have found my post on here very therapeutic and was suprised by the response, although looking back I have no idea why I actually took the time to broadcast my feelings as I am usually a very private person. I think I just wanted to tell someone.
Good luck and keep in touch.

Steve

steve-n-jo

Just a quick belated update:

Returned to the UK in October for a holiday with my wife and kids, we all had a fantastic time it was brilliant to have all the family together again. Days out, reunions, eat like kings and treated like royalty!!

It confirmed for me that I had made the wrong decision and never should have moved, The UK felt like 'home'.

But as I have 'made my bed' I must lay in it!!!

I haven't got a plan B!!!