bobbins

Hi all

Not sure if Im on this planet at the moment. We have only been her in the Illawarra region for 6 weeks - have found it incredibly hard finding a rental, probably because this is just before christmas. We are living in a grubby little place with the kids and am just not used to roughing it like this. Im sure that this is leading to my homesickness. Dont get me wrong - Im not really missing friends or family - just the englishness of what I had and the beautiful village where I lived. I never tired of it, and when people used to moan about the place - I should have worked for the tourist board - I loved it.

We came here for the adventure and the better to regret what we did - than what we didnt do, but I feel sick from morning to night and find myself blubbering in the park/library. My OH doesnt get it and basically has the attitude of get over yourself, what is there not to like? Which I agree - there is nothing here to dislike. everyone has been so friendly and I even have made some early days friends. So why am I being such a miserable git?? Id drink lots of wine but there is none in the house, or a chocolate hob nob - but woolies in Kiama doesnt sell them. Boo hoo

miserable me x

mand8002

Don't despair, I remember those feelings well. I am usually an optimistic, half cup full sort of person, but I went through such homesickness, crying all the time and could not stop no matter where I was. I was so so close to going back to the UK, but it did get better and over time I came to love my new country. As things become more familiar you feel better, at first everything is alien, you do not know what shops to go to for stuff etc, but it does get easier. We have been here almost four years now and I am so glad I did not give in to my emotions at such an early stage and return to the UK.
Try get out an about, and I do think a rental you are happy in makes all the difference. We hated our first long term rental and ended up breaking the lease and moving elsewhere, and from the first day in the new rental I felt settled and have not looked back.

All the best, Amanda

CEM

I remember those feelings so well too. It's so hard when you've left something lovely behind. We left our beautiful 16th century house to go to a tiny, grubby (urine soaked sheets in the cupboard when we arrived!) concrete box and I remember just wanting to turn round and run.
Don't give up. It will change and you'll find a house that you like and everything will become more familiar to you. Like Mand8002 we hated our first rental and I would have packed up and left anytime, but the second was lovely and I settled straight away as I didn't feel like I was compromising anymore.
It's tough when your oh doesn't understand your feelings too. Mine, like yours, really couldn't understand it, but he had work and I was stuck at home with 3 under 5's and no real mates. Very lonely time. BUT, it does pass, honestly and the fact that it's only the place you miss is probably a good thing - maybe easier to come to terms with than missing people? I don't know.
We've been back in the UK for 5 1/2 years, but are moving to Sydney in Jan and I expect all the same feelings will be there again. At least I know this time they'll pass, eventually....
Good luck

Graham and Maria

Im currently feeling a little homesick myself after 7 months of being here. We are having a goodtime and have met great people and dont have any complaints really about Australia infact we think its great here, regardless of the expense of some things and our sh1tty rental that we pay 400 bucks a week for, but Im missing a hell of a lot of things about the UK.

I cant believe Im even missing the crappy weather/temperatures.

We missed our ritual of bonfire night with the rest of the family and watched them all getting drunk on the webcam.

Dosnt feel like Christmas at all here which is really getting to me. I look on the net at English winter countryside scenes (sad I know). I wanna go Christmas shopping in my old town centre with its crappy trimmings up and grey drizzly skys damnit.

Miss my TV/SKY/footy

We have good genuine friends here but not the same as my old school friends who have stuck together all these years.

I miss the old job I thought I hated.

Even though none of my family isnt that old/ill Im already worrying about what if's

Worried that my nan is getting on in life now (exception to the above)

My parents are here at the moment and have still got 2.5weeks to go and Im already dreading dropping them at the airport

I must stop there because Im fully aware at what I sound like and could go on further, Im still chearfull and dont moan to people, infact you guys are the first to hear this.

So I know how you feel and hope we both can shake this little episode sooner rather then later.

smude

Hi Bobbins

Been here only 4 weeks today myself, OH and 2 children 10 and 7. I'm even staying with my sister but still have the exact same feelings as you. I think our feelings are the norm reading others posts on BE. Think we have to give it a little longer. As you say the feelings are hard to put into words it's just an empty feeling. The other night I lie awake in bed thinking even if we were to return to the uk we would still have exactly the same process to return to - look for work, find a house, settle the children again. Yes, I know that you would have family and friends around you but think about why you wanted to try Australia. Hang on in there give it a little longer sure things will improve for us both and others who feel the same.

Just heard today that we have secured a rental - after trying for several - we offered to pay 6 months rent in advance on application. Not sure if you are in a position to do this.

Fingers Crossed and Good Luck!

sidneee and kinnyboy

Im sorry to hear everyone feeling as homesick as i do now. I was speaking to my Mum last night and went to bed sobbing. I miss doing crosswords with her!
Im also fed up with her keep telling me that there will only be 3 there for christmas (when there is usually loads of us!) I have been here in Perth for 6 weeks and have been housesitting and got settled in but the people are coming back next week and we are moving again. The upside is no rent (excellent when you are struggling to find work - like me! - more of that in a mo!) but the down side is that just as you get used to somewhere, your moving to the next sit!) Also (heres the job moan) I thought i would find it easy to find work but it has been so hard! I have finally got a job (great- for 5 seconds!) then i was told that although it is a part time job (which is what i want) the training is 6 weeks full time (not 6 weeks with the first 2 being full time that they told me in the interview!) I think that they are short of staff over christmas and i am going to get lumbered with hideous shifts (3-11pm new years eve anyone!!!) SO, what do i do? I dreamt in England in my s**t job that i would have more control over here and now as it is taking so long to find a job - feel that i should take whatever morsal is thrown my way even if i hate it!!! I dont want to spend christmas working crappy shifts that no one wants for crap money when my sister is here from England for 2 weeks!!!!!!! Also my qualification as a Holistics therapist seems to not be valid here (a million emails everywhere to find out what the score is!) and i feel so lonely! Sorry for moaning but i feel very sorry for myself right now!

sidneee and kinnyboy

Sorry Bobbins, forgot to say that as crap as i feel now, i know it will fade and it will all sort itself out and yours will too!!!! Lets both try to be upbeat!!! I know its hard after what i just wrote but sometimes you just have to vent!!!!
Take care and good luck
Sidneee X

bluekipper

Totally agree withthe above post, you have to vent,, dont do what I did and come bk,, get another house,good job and settle (well sort of) only to be wishing you`d give it longer or tried a diff state in OZ,, everything your going thru is very very normal,, reminiscing about your old life,, etc,, make plans for your future that will stop you looking back and make as many new friends as poss.

Write down everything your grateful for and stay as positive as you possibly can!

From one who knows my heart goes out to you all,,its the most horrendous feeling `homesickness`, try to make OZ your home, it can be done, as most on here will verify!

Bluekipper

kevin747

Keep your chin up Bobbins.
We've all felt the way you are feeling.
Remember you can return to wherever you're from

Take care

Cheetah7

It is very hard to make a grab for the future and the prospects/opportunities that come with it when you are clutching on to the past.

Nothing stays the same, if you go back it won't be exactly the same, your family will have changed and you will have changed - the whole migration experience changes you.

Give it more time, look forward and not back and make the most of each day -make it your time to try something you have always wanted to do, try something new and treat it like a reward that needs to be worked for.

Emigrating is stepping out of your comfort zone into the unknown and whilst it is bloody scary, it can mean alot of things might come your way during the process - if you allow them to.

Missing people and familiar routine is so hard, I wake up missing my Dad every day but I am aware that while my thoughts are in the past, I am also wasting the 'here and now' and we don't get that back again.

Everything worth having in this life has to be worked for, home wasn't built in a day, good friends take ages to establish - think about when you start a new job, you are not good friends with everyone in a day, you don't know your job straight away - it all has to be worked for and the hard yards put in.

It is very hard though and I understand fully.

jay71

I totally understand how your feeling.....Im feeling exactly the same myself!!
we have only been here for 4 months but at times I find myself thinking of making a quick dash to the airport and getting on the next plane home!
Feel free to pm me anytime if ur feeling down

bourbon-biscuit

I understand homesickness and I agree that a good vent helps

BUT not a good wallow- so vent away but make a plan to deal with the issues you have. Keep trying to find a rental that will feel like home, stop googling for UK Xmas images- that's the road to unhappiness. Instead plan for your Oz/Kiwi Xmas by celebrating the difference. Trying to superimpose a UK Xmas onto an Oz/Kiw doesn't work that well adn you're better off to put the effort into Oz Xmas and really enjoy it. If Oz doesn't work out for you adn yours it might be your only southern hemisphere Xmas so just as well to make it a good one.

Also, in the early weeks I think it's often less homesickness and more culture shock and the fallout from emigration stress so take it real easy on yourself and try to do a couple of things each day that you enjoy and make you feel good about yourself (and ideally about being in Oz). Take care

Hutch

Not a cure, but it might help - maybe take a drive up to the Southern Highlands (Robertson, Bowral etc) - have lunch at the Burrawang pub (19th century coaching inn - yes, they did have 'em)

Charly

Been here almost 6 years now and I remember those feelings totally but I can assure you it passes. Without upsetting anyone - get out of Kiama!! I am sure you could settle in a far nicer place than that! Central Coast, 1 hour North of Sydney, is now my home and LOVE it. Persevere, make friends that arn't English if you can, and try and embrace the new life, its the best way to settle in.

Hutch

You having a laugh?