British Expats - 13 Years on and 4 since my last post

My update

I last posted around 2011 time; I moved to Australia, Sydney in 2002. Husband and I, with 12 and 10 year old children. I have always had mixed feelings about being in Australia and when I say mixed I absolutely hit the lows of homesickness, anger, frustration – all while having a fairly nice life here.

I arranged two permanent moves back to England with well-paying jobs – hubby backed me for one of them and then baulked at last minute and I was scrabbling for another job which meant I had to travel overseas for a while. Anyway we are still very much a couple and I love the silly bugger to bits and even like the fact he loves this country.

Son is 25 now through University and living away from home, even had a spell living in UK and New York – very proud of his achievements, he identifies as a person rather than UK or AUS and tends to plan to be happy in his work and opportunities rather than the place he is at – I am also rather proud of the fact our emigration in the first place possibly assisted in this.

Daughter, for various reasons is still struggling a little but that would have happened wherever. She has moved out this year and seems to be happy and that counts big time.

So that leaves Hubby and I – we moved out of the big family house and downsized a little to a place up the road. I live in St Ives in Upper North Shore. We are both in good jobs and have luckily had the chance to travel the world which helped with my homesickness as I get to see my sister at least once a year while passing through to other places.

So after all my years, thirteen now! Am I settling? – I am most surprised to answer this - YES.

A little under a year ago hubby and I went on a nosy beak to the house next door for sale, as you do on open houses. After all the hassle downsizing 18 months earlier we ending up buying the house next door and a much bigger place than we originally had and the kids have moved out!

I seriously fell in love with the house and the fun I am having with hubby all over again – we both work extremely hard so we play hard too, I am getting to enjoy what time we have travelling together both overseas and here in AUS. I have worked away from Sydney more than I have worked in Sydney, just finished Melbourne for two years - Monday to Friday travel. I make sure weekends are special times with either family coming to me or planning different things to do – or just laze and enjoy the day.

I do not know what clicked, the fantastic house? more time with hubby alone? focus on us? Contented children? Successful job ongoing? Materialistically we are as well off here as we would be in the UK. So I do not really know what stopped the desire to move back. I still think I will plan for a half retirement in AUS and Europe with a decision to be made on which one when I cannot travel anymore. But I have at least 10 years before retirement hopefully and I will enjoy those years here in Aus till then.

One of the main items is that I no longer feel trapped – having independent children is possibly a massive factor in that. I left the UK and moved my children away from all family and friends to come here and I have a pragmatic attitude to knowing my children may well do the same to me one day – in fact have and are planning to try more perm moves as the opportunities arise. So staying here now is a choice I can make?

Any regrets – none overall for moving to Aus, lots of wasted time feeling awful and upset by being here – but it was just how I felt and I could not change that “feeling” when I was going through it however much I tried; so I tended to get on with the things I could influence like family and my work.
I feel relieved that the “feeling” has gone I would not wish it on my worst enemy of not belonging, or something not being right. I know that talking about it helped me during those years and having someone listen was so important and the understanding I got from many people on British Expats was paramount. (Yes you Polyanna)

Two of the couples I met on expats are best friends today and both are still here too in Sydney.

I am not going to say this place is heaven on earth – that is what you make of things – the one phrase that always sticks with me – “Australia, same shit shinier bucket” – Now I tend to add to that – “so wear sunscreen as you get on with it”

Cheers Sandra