Jon77

So one year has passed since we packed up and left the UK! Where does the time go.

Settled ok, although the thread I started in the barbie regarding depression / anxiety kind of tells its own story. Miss being able to go to the footy and for a few beers with my old man. I still have the clear memory of my parents stood watching us go last May. They couldn't hold the emotion back and looked devastated to see me, my wife and son go. I talk to them regularly via Skype, they put on a brave face, but I know them well enough to know they are missing us like hell and are struggling without us. Tip there for anyone else about to leave the UK, get the goodbyes over and done with before the airport.

Still on the contract work I managed to get just before leaving the UK. Was hoping to be permanent by now but the opportunities are more limited than I was hoping. Just hope something happens before my contract expires

Trying to keep busy and make the most of what is on offer, love being outside and the weather here certainly helps that.

My wife and son and certainly happier here, my son is having a great time and it is good to see him happy.

But there is certainly an empty feeling I have, a numbness. Out of the blue homesickness hits me, even after weeks of feeling ok with being here.

But hey, onwards and upwards

mashup

Miss my parents and my gran too, hardest bit of being away. Skype doesn't really cut it for me as its scheduled and you feel you have to digest what's been happening.

Don't know what you or your parents situation is regarding smart phones but I've got all my family and mates into "whatsapp," it's basically text/photo/video messaging which is sent over 3G or wifi. Just being able to send a pic or video of where you are or what you are doing, something funny you see or even just a joke you've heard at any time is much better in my opinion.

I spend the majority of my day sending/receiving stupid videos of either myself or friends messing about in work/singing in the van/drunk at the pub
With my parents I just send photos of the jobs im working on or the cafes my girlfriend and I are having lunch at etc.

In turn, they send me videos of my gran saying hello etc, photos of stuff that's happening in the local area, videos of my old man falling asleep on the couch after a few too many.

I've banged on here as if I work for this mob, but honestly, I also suffer from anxiety and the difference made by receiving or sending personal, off the cuff updates is huge.

Good luck.

R

Cheetah7

Ah, the old numb feeling, the one that your mind seems to put you in to as a method of self preservation to find a way of dealing with unresolved issues as in the leaving of family etc.

I know that feeling well, I was numb when I left my Dad at the underground station, the giant hulk of a man never looked so small when I left him, I felt completely empty and numb and did so on so many occasions through the 4 years I have been here.

And sometimes, when I let my guard down, the numbness wears off and the pain of not seeing him hits like a hammer and it is awful, in fact this week I have not had the pleasure of the numbness at all,

I deal with it by asking myself the following:

1. Where do I want to live? - Australia but magically going back to the UK would be nice

2. Could I live back in the UK? - No

3. When I lived in the UK, did I see my Dad every week? No, every couple of months in fact we spoke once a week, now we speak every day except Saturday.

4. Do I love him less for living far away? No - more so in fact

5. Why do I get so upset and what is the damage of this to my mental health? I get upset because I feel so far away, the damage of this thought process is I am making myself more upset by thinkng about stuff that only I have the power to change - do I want to stay in Australia and the answer is yes so I have to stop myself getting upset and concentrate on other ways to keep communications open - phone/Skype etc.

I ask myself why am I so upset? Dad is still around enjoying his life, he just has a daughter in Australia he can tell his mates about. His life and mine is still ticking along, the only thing that has changed is distance.

Dad has been to visit and had a great holiday, he knows where we live and the lives we have now so he is included in the phone conversations as in I can say stuff to him and he knows what we mean.

What I am trying to say is that the numb feeling is what you probably havent faced up to or dealt with, just allow yourself to get upset occasionally and dont be afraid of that. Then work on a plan to help you cope with it because in my opinion, numb is not always best and feelings need to be dealt with.

Remember, once you have come to terms with living in another country, you will be able to make sure the thoughts you have about your Dad/family will be happy ones.

eddie007

Awwww I know that missing the parents feeling all too well.... Little did I kniw when we left them at Heathrow on the 27th August 2007 that I'd be looking forward to 8 more sleeps before they arrive here.... For GOOD....

avi

awwww eddie u are so lucky not able to see mine yet until 2015 at the earliest. But lie goes on and Jon I feel for you and I am sure something will come along.