The Worst HouseGuests
Aug 16th 2008, 4:40 pm
#16
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 35,082
Re: The Worst HouseGuests
I find that my 'No Guest Room' policy works really well for keeping pesky guests away.
Of course, I also miss all the nice visits from high quality people.
Of course, I also miss all the nice visits from high quality people.
Aug 16th 2008, 5:47 pm
#18
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 218
Re: The Worst HouseGuests
Well I'm not an expat, but...
Friend got married - for some demented reason, honeymoon was at my house. Which would have been ok, if she hadn't married the redneck from He**.
The darling had never been out of his precious FLORIDA before - true cracker. (no insult intended to normal floridians).
I had a small house, gave them my bedroom while I slept on the couch.
We went downtown Chicago - he said "I shoulda brought my gun - these n****s you have here don't know their place"
Then... everything had to be "American". We wet to a lovely German restaurant - he said "What's that s**t - don't you got no AMERICAN bread?" The patient waiter got him some Wonder Bread or some such to replace the nice rye. I tried pretend I did not exist.
Tremendous battle later ensued over his desire to drink his beer in the car while I drove.
Eventually, I became a teensy bit crabby due to his lovely habit of staying up till 3 a.m. regaling me with fascinating stories such as how he got arrested for being drunk in the park and pissing on the f*ggot. Charming. Did I mention I had to get up and go to work each morning?
Final straw, sleep deprived, I was making nice fresh ground coffee for them... Mr. Delightful asks "What's that s**t - don't you got no AMERICACN coffee"? Icy voice from me... "What the He** is american coffee?" Reply "Folgers". From me - scream of rage advancing towards him "They probably grew that in f**ing BOLIVIA!!!!"
He turns... run... wise move.
Thank god friend divorced it eventually.
Friend got married - for some demented reason, honeymoon was at my house. Which would have been ok, if she hadn't married the redneck from He**.
The darling had never been out of his precious FLORIDA before - true cracker. (no insult intended to normal floridians).
I had a small house, gave them my bedroom while I slept on the couch.
We went downtown Chicago - he said "I shoulda brought my gun - these n****s you have here don't know their place"
Then... everything had to be "American". We wet to a lovely German restaurant - he said "What's that s**t - don't you got no AMERICAN bread?" The patient waiter got him some Wonder Bread or some such to replace the nice rye. I tried pretend I did not exist.
Tremendous battle later ensued over his desire to drink his beer in the car while I drove.
Eventually, I became a teensy bit crabby due to his lovely habit of staying up till 3 a.m. regaling me with fascinating stories such as how he got arrested for being drunk in the park and pissing on the f*ggot. Charming. Did I mention I had to get up and go to work each morning?
Final straw, sleep deprived, I was making nice fresh ground coffee for them... Mr. Delightful asks "What's that s**t - don't you got no AMERICACN coffee"? Icy voice from me... "What the He** is american coffee?" Reply "Folgers". From me - scream of rage advancing towards him "They probably grew that in f**ing BOLIVIA!!!!"
He turns... run... wise move.
Thank god friend divorced it eventually.
Aug 16th 2008, 6:36 pm
#19
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
