Ash UK/US

Do you promote your/their British-ness?

Probably a weird question, I know but a couple of conversations with my kids over the last week have prompted it.

1st one with my 9 year old, she was talking about college (I know weird for a 9 year old) but to cut a long story short she said maybe she would like to go to the same college as my hubby, MSU, to which I comment well maybe you will want to go to college in England to which she replies 'mommy I'm american, I should go to college here'... a juvenile response, but an interesting perspective.

2nd conversation with my 7 year old... me: 'Did you take your vitamin'? (pronounced the English way'. My daughter 'it is Vi-ta-min not Vit-a-min, oh mommy your so British'... My response 'your half British too!'

I just wondered if you parents promote and educate your kiddos on 'British ways' or if you don't even bother. I thought I did, but after these two conversations maybe I don't do it enough

civilservant

It is my intention to. Along with getting them to 'summer' back in the UK if at al possible.

WEBlue

I think at a certain age (and 9 may be close to it) kids take hold and start formong their own ideas around their identity. It's part of growing up dual that they may decide to be one nationality more than another.

The good news is that they can & do change their minds, in fact it's almost a given. They'll go through phases where one nationality appeals more than another, then switch around, IME.

lisa67

I agree. Although my kids were born in the UK they moved here when they were very small and consider themselves American. As they've got into their late teens both of them have become very proud of their British heritage, especially my daughter.
We try to go to the UK every 18 months or so and I offered them Uni in the UK but both wanted to stay here.

robin1234

Our children are aged 31 and 29, we brought them over to the US with us when aged 8 and 6. I'm British, my wife is American. Our oldest is thoroughly American, the younger chose to move to England for graduate school and has been there ever since.

I suppose we've always tried to just give them an example to live by, and let them choose their own way. However, I did get them British passports when they were about 16 or so, and without being told, they were both happy to enter the UK with the British passport from then on. My son works at a university library in England, so with a very international workforce, but he's always been "the American" there, although when he visits America, he acts the Englishman.

I have admit, vitamin is one word I adopted the American pronunciation of pretty early on!

Karrie72

I've always emphasized to my children how lucky they are to have dual citizenship which will lots of doors and options.

They make fun of me and my 'Englishness' but I think they are secretly proud and flit in and out of identities to suit themselves.

I've been trying to plant the seed withy my eldest about going to college in the UK for years and she's always been adamant that she'll stay here, live in Maine for ever.

Therefore I was thrilled this summer when she turned to me in the middle of London and said, 'I love it here, the people are so friendly and funny, I feel like I fit in better here.'

Lion in Winter

The Little Lion is a triple national (one from each of his parents, and the US cos he was born here). I've always exposed him to and encouraged all three of his nationalities/cultures - it's part of learning to value others and understanding the world at large. I hope he takes the best values from all three parts of his heritage.

While there may be a sentimental part of me that hopes he will feel significantly British, or live there as he grows up, I recognize that that's far more about me and how I feel than necessary for him.

AmerLisa

I'm not the British part of our daughter's dual citizenship, but I do encourage her to embrace both cultures. Our daughter was born in the UK and we moved when she was about 2 and a half. I still have videos of her singing nursery rhymes in a very cute little British accent, of course that has been replaced with the accent she hears every day. My husband does talk about British things and we do have British food that she can experience as well.

The greatest impression for her was this past summer and spending 5 weeks in the UK. She really got to experience every day living rather than the quick holiday visits to family we've done every other summer since we moved. Also, a family friend we have whose daughter is the same age came in handy. Although they are up in Scotland and we didn't see them for too long in the trip, our daughter was able to experience life with another "tween" and see how she lives.

Ulsterman in Texas

My wife and I don't any kids yet, but I want them to embrace broth the British (specifically Northern Irish) culture and American culture, there is a chance that we may opt for homeschooling, so if that happens I plan to teach them about both British, Irish and American history.

kins

I've kept my Engish accent and at home I generally use English words and phrases. I show them British TV shows and tell them about life in the UK. I'm trying to send them there each summer.

But I was talking to a Romanian friend about this just this evening. Her son, till 2 years ago, wanted to go to a London college and embrace European life. Now he's actually applying for colleges he's sticking only to East Coast US options and he's lost all interest in Europe.

md95065

I am not a parent so my perspective on this is mostly theoretical but I think that the real point is that children are going to acquire their own sense of identity as they grow up and their parent's identity is only one part of that.

From her immediate response it sounds as if it was simply something that she had never thought of before and therefore she rejected it out of hand.
... but, of course, now that you asked her the question she *has* thought about it, even if only briefly, and it is probably now tucked away in the back of her mind as something that actually might be possible even if right now she thinks that she doesn't want to do it ...

Since the child is more than just the sum of it's parents I'm not sure that I agree that she is really "half British" - suppose that "who she is" comes 50% from her and 50% from her parents (25% from each) then I would argue that, having been born in the US, to US and UK parents she is really more like 75% American (her 50% + 25% from your husband) and 25% British (from you).

kimilseung

Mine is only eight and she seems to like the idea of being part English. Having dual heritage is an advantage, but only if you embrace it so I try to encourage it, without being pushy. I want her to feel at home in N America and in Europe so I do let her know Brit English words and talk about differences and history and geography, it could be anywhere, but she has an expert teacher for Britain always available. Never make it work or study though. Mention things when ever applicable, move on if she seems a bit bored. She gets a little excited if English/British characters or landmarks are in books or TV

Ash UK/US

Me too... I am hoping as they get older they will recognize it more

JHolden47

We dont have kids yet but are planning it soon. We want out kits to grow up duel nationality, and what it means to be both. We will bring them back to the the UK to teach them about them being British. We will give them the choice about university. My wife is duel, she was born in the US but grew up in the UK with Britishness rammed down her throat. She is proud to be both, we have chosen to be in the US.

robin1234

It certainly is a tradition here, ever since Burr-Hamilton.