OT ; Do women prefer money over effort type gifts ?
Jun 28th 2001, 12:05 pm
#16
Guest
Posts: n/a
My new Canadian husband is always doing "little" things to show he loves me, I would
definitely prefer these over the expensive trinkets. He gave me two roses yesterday
for our 8 month anniversary...one was yellow the other was red, he told me the yellow
stood for the fact that we were first friends, and the red stood for the fact that we
became lovers and will remain together forever. NOTHING in this world co uld of
topped that!
Daisy
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[usenetquote2]> >Hello ![/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >My fiancée and I are having a debate over a few items. I told her that[/usenetquote2]
money
[usenetquote2]> >is not as important here in a relationship as it is there, but I[/usenetquote2]
explained I
[usenetquote2]> >could be wrong. So I gave her the example that here a women would prefer[/usenetquote2]
( I
[usenetquote2]> >think ) something made by his hands, or a poem over something that he[/usenetquote2]
picked
[usenetquote2]> >up at the store. ( with little effort ) This I explained proved that he thought[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >about her and put some extra effort into showing this to her. She then replied[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >that there is no way a women would prefer a poem over a[/usenetquote2]
diamond
[usenetquote2]> >. .......... I think I failed to make my point.[/usenetquote2]
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[usenetquote2]> >This subject has nothing to do with anything between her and I , we were just[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >talking about relationships and the differences between women there and here. She[/usenetquote2]
insist
[usenetquote2]> >that women are the same everywhere ??[/usenetquote2]
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definitely prefer these over the expensive trinkets. He gave me two roses yesterday
for our 8 month anniversary...one was yellow the other was red, he told me the yellow
stood for the fact that we were first friends, and the red stood for the fact that we
became lovers and will remain together forever. NOTHING in this world co uld of
topped that!
Daisy
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[usenetquote2]> >Hello ![/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >My fiancée and I are having a debate over a few items. I told her that[/usenetquote2]
money
[usenetquote2]> >is not as important here in a relationship as it is there, but I[/usenetquote2]
explained I
[usenetquote2]> >could be wrong. So I gave her the example that here a women would prefer[/usenetquote2]
( I
[usenetquote2]> >think ) something made by his hands, or a poem over something that he[/usenetquote2]
picked
[usenetquote2]> >up at the store. ( with little effort ) This I explained proved that he thought[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >about her and put some extra effort into showing this to her. She then replied[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >that there is no way a women would prefer a poem over a[/usenetquote2]
diamond
[usenetquote2]> >. .......... I think I failed to make my point.[/usenetquote2]
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[usenetquote2]> >This subject has nothing to do with anything between her and I , we were just[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >talking about relationships and the differences between women there and here. She[/usenetquote2]
insist
[usenetquote2]> >that women are the same everywhere ??[/usenetquote2]
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Jun 28th 2001, 12:40 pm
#17
Guest
Posts: n/a
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I'd rather have a husband that doesn't do things that wrong. She's not
embarassed by this?
Sounds like he's having another woman or two behind her back.
More diamonds she has, less faithful he is?
Betastar
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I'd rather have a husband that doesn't do things that wrong. She's not
embarassed by this?
Sounds like he's having another woman or two behind her back.
More diamonds she has, less faithful he is?
Betastar
Jun 28th 2001, 1:54 pm
#18
Guest
Posts: n/a
[usenetquote2]>> Sounds like he's having another woman or two behind her back.[/usenetquote2]
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[usenetquote2]>> More diamonds she has, less faithful he is?[/usenetquote2]
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I wish I would too, but I don't. =( Many of us don't. =( So thank you. =)
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There are pleanty of those too.
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I grew up on Long Island, where the stereotypical "Jap" comes from. I was in my
favorite bar one night, a place you wouldn't expect to see the big-haired types
('cause it's so grungy and disgusting and wonderful!) when I overheard a conversation
between two women. (I won't say Ladies....)
One was saying to the other "We were together three years and all I got was this
damned bracelet and the earrings!"
It made me sick. What about the companionship, the laughter, the love...
Betastar sad that there are so many shallow people in the world.
[usenetquote2]>>[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>> More diamonds she has, less faithful he is?[/usenetquote2]
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I wish I would too, but I don't. =( Many of us don't. =( So thank you. =)
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There are pleanty of those too.
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I grew up on Long Island, where the stereotypical "Jap" comes from. I was in my
favorite bar one night, a place you wouldn't expect to see the big-haired types
('cause it's so grungy and disgusting and wonderful!) when I overheard a conversation
between two women. (I won't say Ladies....)
One was saying to the other "We were together three years and all I got was this
damned bracelet and the earrings!"
It made me sick. What about the companionship, the laughter, the love...
Betastar sad that there are so many shallow people in the world.
Jun 28th 2001, 2:00 pm
#19
Guest
Posts: n/a
Betastar wrote:
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[[[Note! For you Betastar (only because you are such a nice person)I turned off the
Html. It is a pain to turn it off as it is a requirement to have it on for nearly all
the other work I do. The NG is only 1% of my online work. I wish you would have
capability to read html.]]]
You could be very correct. On the other hand she may be a gold-digger, demanding and
effectively blackmailing him for diamonds an any excuse. I knew a woman whose stated
philosophy was that no man loves a woman unless he gives diamonds. She pushed this
philosophy so far that it left her as a divorcee, alone and no man wants her as the
word got around. Larry
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[[[Note! For you Betastar (only because you are such a nice person)I turned off the
Html. It is a pain to turn it off as it is a requirement to have it on for nearly all
the other work I do. The NG is only 1% of my online work. I wish you would have
capability to read html.]]]
You could be very correct. On the other hand she may be a gold-digger, demanding and
effectively blackmailing him for diamonds an any excuse. I knew a woman whose stated
philosophy was that no man loves a woman unless he gives diamonds. She pushed this
philosophy so far that it left her as a divorcee, alone and no man wants her as the
word got around. Larry
Jun 28th 2001, 2:29 pm
#20
pharrya's troublen strife
Joined: Mar 2001
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 348
love trinkets
As far as engagement rings, yes, I wanted one, but a really small, simple, relatively inexpensive one. It came as a Christmas gift. I told my fiance I'd get him an expensive gadget for his gift (a mini disc player that records MP3's). Whilst we were apart, I wanted to have something- a symbol- the ring- to look at to remind me of our committment to one another. The diamond on it is less like a rock and more like a pebble, but that is not important to me... For him to move his whole life over here to be with me, and marry me so that we can have a life together is the "rock". We each bought each other our wedding rings- also very plain, classic and simple (mine a white gold band to match the engagement ring, his a titantium ring of his choosing)
The way I see it, we're a team. I'm sorta a feminist, but still a girly-girl. I worked for many years in male-dominated fields and have been taking care of myself (I'm 36) up until marrying him a week and a half ago. He doesn't expect me to take care of him, nor do I expect him to take care of me. We are gonna take care of each other- as a team. I don't expect him to blow wads of cash on me to show me he loves me. He does that every day just by being here, telling me so, and showing me in small ways.
For example- what meant as much to me when he gave me the ring was a little gift he gave me- a small travel alarm clock/picture frame with a picture of us in it, and his voice recorded on it telling me to "wakey wakey". It was so while we were apart, I could still awake to his voice every morning.
But here's the deal. Everyone is different- all women are different. Paul and I see things pretty much the same way on this matter. Some men are all about showering their women with expensive gifts. Some women want that kind of thing. I should think the most compatable matches are between men and women who look at this issue in the same way. If you're a flowers, poem, and small gift/loving gesture kind of guy, and she's an expensive mega-carat diamond/expensive gift kinda gal, then perhaps the two of you really need to discuss this issue in depth and come to a compromise. This is the kind of thing that can foster resentment, and cause bad feelings between the two of you. It matters not what we all think- what matters most is how you and your fiancee feel. You two are the ones that will be spending the rest of your lives together.
Good luck to you, and I hope you can both see things the same way.
The way I see it, we're a team. I'm sorta a feminist, but still a girly-girl. I worked for many years in male-dominated fields and have been taking care of myself (I'm 36) up until marrying him a week and a half ago. He doesn't expect me to take care of him, nor do I expect him to take care of me. We are gonna take care of each other- as a team. I don't expect him to blow wads of cash on me to show me he loves me. He does that every day just by being here, telling me so, and showing me in small ways.
For example- what meant as much to me when he gave me the ring was a little gift he gave me- a small travel alarm clock/picture frame with a picture of us in it, and his voice recorded on it telling me to "wakey wakey". It was so while we were apart, I could still awake to his voice every morning.
But here's the deal. Everyone is different- all women are different. Paul and I see things pretty much the same way on this matter. Some men are all about showering their women with expensive gifts. Some women want that kind of thing. I should think the most compatable matches are between men and women who look at this issue in the same way. If you're a flowers, poem, and small gift/loving gesture kind of guy, and she's an expensive mega-carat diamond/expensive gift kinda gal, then perhaps the two of you really need to discuss this issue in depth and come to a compromise. This is the kind of thing that can foster resentment, and cause bad feelings between the two of you. It matters not what we all think- what matters most is how you and your fiancee feel. You two are the ones that will be spending the rest of your lives together.
Good luck to you, and I hope you can both see things the same way.
Jun 28th 2001, 2:53 pm
#21
Guest
Posts: n/a
Wow, reading the responses thus far, it sure seems like it's not politically correct
thing to say that one likes nice gifts. I don't see it as a either or thing at all.
I, for one, like to get both. Mike is great in doing little things that make me
happy, but he also gives me very nice gifts. Than again, so do I. We both make enough
money to be able to afford it, and Mike has a great taste so I can honestly say I
have never gotten a gift from him I did not like. Almost all of my married friends
(most American) have a diamond engagement ring. I never thought I wanted one but Mike
proposed with a beauriful ring which I love. It's still the only piece of jewelry
(with my wedding ring) I ever wear.
By the way, I think men like gifts, too, at least most of the ones I know.
Alena
[usenetquote2]>>Hello ![/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>My fiancée and I are having a debate over a few items. I told her that money is not[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>as important here in a relationship as it is there, but I explained I could be[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>wrong. So I gave her the example that here a women would prefer ( I think )[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>something made by his hands, or a poem over something that he picked up at the[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>store. ( with little effort ) This I explained proved that he thought about her and[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>put some extra effort into showing this to her. She then replied that there is no[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>way a women would prefer a poem over a diamond[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>. .......... I think I failed to make my point. This subject has nothing to do with[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>> anything between her and I , we were just talking about relationships and the[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>> differences between women there and here. She insist that women are the same[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>> everywhere ??[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>What do women prefer ? Is there a difference between lets say Russian and[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>American women ?[/usenetquote2]
thing to say that one likes nice gifts. I don't see it as a either or thing at all.
I, for one, like to get both. Mike is great in doing little things that make me
happy, but he also gives me very nice gifts. Than again, so do I. We both make enough
money to be able to afford it, and Mike has a great taste so I can honestly say I
have never gotten a gift from him I did not like. Almost all of my married friends
(most American) have a diamond engagement ring. I never thought I wanted one but Mike
proposed with a beauriful ring which I love. It's still the only piece of jewelry
(with my wedding ring) I ever wear.
By the way, I think men like gifts, too, at least most of the ones I know.
Alena
[usenetquote2]>>Hello ![/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>My fiancée and I are having a debate over a few items. I told her that money is not[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>as important here in a relationship as it is there, but I explained I could be[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>wrong. So I gave her the example that here a women would prefer ( I think )[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>something made by his hands, or a poem over something that he picked up at the[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>store. ( with little effort ) This I explained proved that he thought about her and[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>put some extra effort into showing this to her. She then replied that there is no[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>way a women would prefer a poem over a diamond[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>. .......... I think I failed to make my point. This subject has nothing to do with[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>> anything between her and I , we were just talking about relationships and the[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>> differences between women there and here. She insist that women are the same[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>> everywhere ??[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>What do women prefer ? Is there a difference between lets say Russian and[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>American women ?[/usenetquote2]
Jun 28th 2001, 3:00 pm
#22
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What's most important is what she (or he) doesn't have.
Paulgani
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Paulgani
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Jun 28th 2001, 3:15 pm
#23
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I think it is about the effort. One Christmas when I was in school, an ex of mine and
I were completely broke. I knew what he wanted for Christmas so I scrimped and saved
for four months to buy him the coat he wanted. $20 here from my book budget, $5 there
from my gas budget. It was a nice gift, but what made it special for both of us was
the sacrifice. If Omar, my fiance, were rich and bought me a 10K diamond it would not
be as special as the sacrifice of saving for months to buy something small. Not that
I want him to save for months to buy me something. Believe me, I am just as content
with thistle picked from the road side if that I all my love can afford and he did
with intention and purpose.
The point I am making is about sacrifice. I think sacrifice is just as important as
effort. Sacrifice is the highest complement.
Jennifer
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I were completely broke. I knew what he wanted for Christmas so I scrimped and saved
for four months to buy him the coat he wanted. $20 here from my book budget, $5 there
from my gas budget. It was a nice gift, but what made it special for both of us was
the sacrifice. If Omar, my fiance, were rich and bought me a 10K diamond it would not
be as special as the sacrifice of saving for months to buy something small. Not that
I want him to save for months to buy me something. Believe me, I am just as content
with thistle picked from the road side if that I all my love can afford and he did
with intention and purpose.
The point I am making is about sacrifice. I think sacrifice is just as important as
effort. Sacrifice is the highest complement.
Jennifer
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Jun 28th 2001, 4:24 pm
#24
Guest
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"william michael muncy" <[email protected]>
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My guess is that people have a wide range of attitudes towards gifts programmed into
our genes because that's a survival trait for the species.
In some cases, a woman should go for the guy who gives the diamonds, because he's
rich. He can keep her and her children going in a time of famine or other calamity.
In other cases, she should go for the man who makes the effort, because the world
will be so messed up that even diamonds will be worthless, and the only thing that
counts is the man's level of energy and cleverness.
In a few cases, women should probably go for the nutty guy who buys weird gifts; goes
broke buying jewelry on credit; or refuses to give gifts at all, because of some
strange philosophy, because, in some weird, chaotic situations, the people who come
out best will be the ones who do weird things that seem crazy to everyone else.
Relationship with alt.us.visa.marriage-based: Maybe the whole marriage-based visa
system is having a profound effect on the immigrants' descendants' genetic code.
Maybe the INS is in the process of creating a giant population of people who are
bred to compulsively save all their utility bills, establish joint accounts with
their spouses, and take lots and lots and lots of family photos to prove that, yes,
they really are married. We could call this new population Homo ins, or possibly
Homo auvmb.
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My guess is that people have a wide range of attitudes towards gifts programmed into
our genes because that's a survival trait for the species.
In some cases, a woman should go for the guy who gives the diamonds, because he's
rich. He can keep her and her children going in a time of famine or other calamity.
In other cases, she should go for the man who makes the effort, because the world
will be so messed up that even diamonds will be worthless, and the only thing that
counts is the man's level of energy and cleverness.
In a few cases, women should probably go for the nutty guy who buys weird gifts; goes
broke buying jewelry on credit; or refuses to give gifts at all, because of some
strange philosophy, because, in some weird, chaotic situations, the people who come
out best will be the ones who do weird things that seem crazy to everyone else.
Relationship with alt.us.visa.marriage-based: Maybe the whole marriage-based visa
system is having a profound effect on the immigrants' descendants' genetic code.
Maybe the INS is in the process of creating a giant population of people who are
bred to compulsively save all their utility bills, establish joint accounts with
their spouses, and take lots and lots and lots of family photos to prove that, yes,
they really are married. We could call this new population Homo ins, or possibly
Homo auvmb.
Jun 28th 2001, 9:17 pm
#25
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 14,049
wmm,
Your fiancee is correct, women are the same everywhere. But no two are ever alike.
Regards, JEff
Your fiancee is correct, women are the same everywhere. But no two are ever alike.
Regards, JEff
Originally posted by william michael munc
Hello !
She insist that women are the same everywhere ??
What do women prefer ? Is there a difference between lets say Russian and
American women ?
Hello !
She insist that women are the same everywhere ??
What do women prefer ? Is there a difference between lets say Russian and
American women ?
Jun 29th 2001, 12:37 am
#26
Guest
Posts: n/a
What I said Lisa, was that in my opinion you are a spoiled American kid who
continually whines in this group. We were in the Memphis office the same time as you
last year and we recognized you and that is why I give my judgement "spoiled kid who
continually whines: Carol
continually whines in this group. We were in the Memphis office the same time as you
last year and we recognized you and that is why I give my judgement "spoiled kid who
continually whines: Carol
Jun 29th 2001, 1:52 am
#27
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hello,
<< My fiancée and I are having a debate over a few items. I told her that money is
not as important here in a relationship as it is there, but I explained I could be
wrong. So I gave her the example that here a women would prefer ( I think ) something
made by his hands, or a poem over something that he picked up at the store. ( with
little effort ) This I explained proved that he thought about her and put some extra
effort into showing this to her. She then replied that there is no way a women would
prefer a poem over a diamond
. .......... I think I failed to make my point. This subject has nothing to do with
anything between her and I , we were just talking about relationships and the
differences between women there and here. She insist that women are the same
everywhere ??
What do women prefer ? Is there a difference between lets say Russian and American
women ? >>
Let's ask this question. Are men the same all over the world? Does every man want a
set of tools for a present? Of course, not! Not every woman thinks like your fiancee.
I , for one, do not. Although a diamond would be nice, I would much rather have
something created by my husband's hands. He sent me a beautiful work of art he had
created for a Valentine's gift before we ever met in person. I treasure that lovely
work. It means more to me than any diamond ever could.
I am so sorry your fiancee takes such a materialistic view of life.
Love and Blessed Be, Theresa
<< My fiancée and I are having a debate over a few items. I told her that money is
not as important here in a relationship as it is there, but I explained I could be
wrong. So I gave her the example that here a women would prefer ( I think ) something
made by his hands, or a poem over something that he picked up at the store. ( with
little effort ) This I explained proved that he thought about her and put some extra
effort into showing this to her. She then replied that there is no way a women would
prefer a poem over a diamond
. .......... I think I failed to make my point. This subject has nothing to do with
anything between her and I , we were just talking about relationships and the
differences between women there and here. She insist that women are the same
everywhere ??
What do women prefer ? Is there a difference between lets say Russian and American
women ? >>
Let's ask this question. Are men the same all over the world? Does every man want a
set of tools for a present? Of course, not! Not every woman thinks like your fiancee.
I , for one, do not. Although a diamond would be nice, I would much rather have
something created by my husband's hands. He sent me a beautiful work of art he had
created for a Valentine's gift before we ever met in person. I treasure that lovely
work. It means more to me than any diamond ever could.
I am so sorry your fiancee takes such a materialistic view of life.
Love and Blessed Be, Theresa
Jun 29th 2001, 2:21 am
#28
Guest
Posts: n/a
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in message
[usenetquote2]>> Question: where are you and where is she?[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>> I would prefer a small thoughtful gift (be it hand-made or something[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>> store-bought that carried a lot of personal meaning) than a large[/usenetquote2]
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[usenetquote2]>> one such as a diamond. I may be in a minority there, though![/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>> Beth[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>[/usenetquote2]
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Well, thank God. Trade it in for something I REALLY want. Like a Mercedes. LOL.
Beth
in message
[usenetquote2]>> Question: where are you and where is she?[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>> I would prefer a small thoughtful gift (be it hand-made or something[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>> store-bought that carried a lot of personal meaning) than a large[/usenetquote2]
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[usenetquote2]>> one such as a diamond. I may be in a minority there, though![/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>> Beth[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]>>[/usenetquote2]
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Well, thank God. Trade it in for something I REALLY want. Like a Mercedes. LOL.
Beth
Jun 29th 2001, 3:17 am
#29
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hahaha! Good one. Someone who is a regular here e-mailed me privately about Lisa's
snotty posts, and called her a "Turbo Bitch." I finally killfiled Lisa Nguyen's posts
as so many of them were nothing but gripes and contain little useful information. You
are not alone, Carol.
Vicki
Goodwin wrote:
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snotty posts, and called her a "Turbo Bitch." I finally killfiled Lisa Nguyen's posts
as so many of them were nothing but gripes and contain little useful information. You
are not alone, Carol.
Vicki
Goodwin wrote:
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Jun 29th 2001, 3:21 am
#30
Guest
Posts: n/a
back to tell me that the word "English" refered not to the English language but to
the quantification used in selling his girls.
Correct me here -- British and American body measurements don't differ do they? An
inch is an inch, a foot is still a foot, a pound is a pound (OK Americans don't
have Stones due to their inability to divide big numbers without a PC). Things
don't get different until you reach the Ton. An American Ton is smaller than a
British Ton I think.
I came to the conclusing that if his models were measured in tons then the were
probably East Germans and in addtion to having the smell of Knoblauchschnapps on
their breath, would damage my carefully tuned suspension. I moved on.
--jan
--
"Kono shito wa watakushi no koibito desu." The Koibito Help Files:
http://www.yume.co.jp/help_koibito.html
the quantification used in selling his girls.
Correct me here -- British and American body measurements don't differ do they? An
inch is an inch, a foot is still a foot, a pound is a pound (OK Americans don't
have Stones due to their inability to divide big numbers without a PC). Things
don't get different until you reach the Ton. An American Ton is smaller than a
British Ton I think.
I came to the conclusing that if his models were measured in tons then the were
probably East Germans and in addtion to having the smell of Knoblauchschnapps on
their breath, would damage my carefully tuned suspension. I moved on.
--jan
--
"Kono shito wa watakushi no koibito desu." The Koibito Help Files:
http://www.yume.co.jp/help_koibito.html