william michael munc

Hello !

My fiancée and I are having a debate over a few items. I told her that money is not
as important here in a relationship as it is there, but I explained I could be wrong.
So I gave her the example that here a women would prefer ( I think ) something made
by his hands, or a poem over something that he picked up at the store. ( with little
effort ) This I explained proved that he thought about her and put some extra effort
into showing this to her. She then replied that there is no way a women would prefer
a poem over a diamond
. .......... I think I failed to make my point. This subject has nothing to do with
anything between her and I , we were just talking about relationships and the
differences between women there and here. She insist that women are the same
everywhere ??

What do women prefer ? Is there a difference between lets say Russian and
American women ?

Betastar

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Reinhard's going to visit his family for 3 weeks. I'd rather he sent me a postcard so
I knew he was thinking about me than that he brought me back some expensive trinket.

I would rather have both the diamond and the poem.

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I think women are the same everywhere, and some prefer the effort (like me) and
others prefer the cash.

B

billypilgrim

Question: where are you and where is she?

I would prefer a small thoughtful gift (be it hand-made or something store-bought
that carried a lot of personal meaning) than a large expensive one such as a
diamond. I may be in a minority there, though!

Beth

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Amber Sebold

william michael muncy wrote:
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Personally I would much prefer something handmade and from the heart. I never did see
the point in women wanting engagement rings that could pay for a small house if sold.
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--
-Amber.

Marge: "Stay away from my son!" Sideshow Bob: "Oh I'll stay away alright... stay
away... FOREVER... *evil laugh*. Oh wait, that's no good. *shudder*"

william michael munc

I am in Ohio, and she is in Moscow.

Thanks !

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[usenetquote2]> > Hello ![/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> > My fiancée and I are having a debate over a few items. I told her that[/usenetquote2]
money
[usenetquote2]> > is not as important here in a relationship as it is there, but I[/usenetquote2]
explained I
[usenetquote2]> > could be wrong. So I gave her the example that here a women would prefer[/usenetquote2]
( I
[usenetquote2]> > think ) something made by his hands, or a poem over something that he[/usenetquote2]
picked
[usenetquote2]> > up at the store. ( with little effort ) This I explained proved that he thought[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> > about her and put some extra effort into showing this to her.[/usenetquote2]
She
[usenetquote2]> > then replied that there is no way a women would prefer a poem over a[/usenetquote2]
diamond
[usenetquote2]> > . .......... I think I failed to make my point. This subject has[/usenetquote2]
nothing to
[usenetquote2]> > do with anything between her and I , we were just talking about relationships and[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> > the differences between women there and here. She[/usenetquote2]
insist
[usenetquote2]> > that women are the same everywhere ??[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> > What do women prefer ? Is there a difference between lets say Russian and[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> > American women ?[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2]
[usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2]

LisaDtoo

I (the USC) far prefer it when my husband does something for me rather than buys
something for me. Gifts are nice as well, but nothing shows me my husband's love for
me more than when he goes out of his way to do something for me, or when he chips in
around the house unexpectedly, or whatever. In fact, I knew I'd found someone special
not long after we first met when he figured out a way for us to talk online together
practically free of charge (this was back when most AOL's charged by the hour) for
both of us. He spent hours searching for the right chat tool and then writing an
e-mail to me to explain how to install it, let me use his Beta tester AOL account
(free for him), etc., etc. It doesn't sound like much, but I was incredibly touched.
These days it's his daily e-mails to me at work to find out what fixings he can pick
up at the grocery for dinner and what he can do to start dinner before I get home
that I appreciate inordinately.

As for jewels...they're not my "thing" really. Big or expensive gifts would make me
uncomfortable and all I'd do is worry about how much they cost anyway. I wanted an
engagement ring and a wedding band...and it was important to me that my husband have
a wedding band.....but it wasn't the "jewels" so much as the symbolism/meaning behind
them that mattered to me.

It's funny...someone on this newsgroup once attacked me for our "big, fancy wedding"
and suggested we would have been better off spending that money on an attorney to get
us through the INS process. How do you properly explain to someone who makes that
kind of judgmental attack against you that there were a lot of factors involved in
our decision to have a wedding that actually included only our family members and
closest friends? It was having our family with us, probably all in one place for the
only time in all of our lives, and a ceremoney officiated by my uncle (who also
officiated at my parents' wedding and nearly all of my cousins' weddings) that
mattered to us...not all of the "trimmings" that apparently made this person make the
jab at me that she did. The "trimmings" (i.e., the dinner and dancing at the
reception) were mostly a thank you to Mike's family and friends who travelled
thousands of miles to be with us, and to my family and friends, many of whom
travelled hundreds of miles to be with us as well...and even at that, we ate off of
plastic dishes and didn't serve alcohol (among other things) to avoid spending as
much as we could have.

And so...when I look at our wedding and how much it meant to us and to our families I
realize as well that it's never the cost of something that is really the point...it's
whether it means anything or not, notwithstanding the cost (or lack thereof).

Maybe it's easy to appreciate the small things when you have or could have the large
things with no problem (at least relatively speaking, anyway). Maybe when you have
to fight, sacrifice and suffer even to have the small things, those big and/or
expensive things take on a totally different meaning...maybe they just take on a
meaning period.

You may see our wedding web page at the following URL: http://nguyen-huu.com/wedding

Rete

Basically it would be personal preference and the type of relationship and lifestyle of the couple involved.

I don't like diamonds. Never had; never will. Also I don't care for jewelry. I wear a wedding ring and no other forms of adornment. My diamond engagement has sat in a box since our wedding. I don't wear it. That is me.

I love it when Jim stops on the corner on a Saturday or Sunday morning and walks through the door with a small bouquet of flowers and wishes me a happy Saturday or Sunday. I also enjoy a sincere compliment at an unexpected moment. That is me.

I love the time and trouble Jim goes through to upgrade my pc or to build me a new and better one. He doesn't have to do it but it pleasures him to do it and thus, it pleases me. I don't need the upgrade or the new pc but he enjoys doing it for me. That is me.

Other women might prefer and expect the diamond, or new car or expensive vacation, etc. It doesn't make them mercenary. Perhaps they are affluent enough that these gifts in their social situation is the norm.

Perhaps the secret is for the male or female to know what turns the other spouse on. Be it flowers, or diamonds, or homemade bookcase, it is what the recipient views as a precious gift.

Rita

hotman54

Think about it! If there were no difference between Russian and American women, then
do you think that the TSC would have so many cases pending?

And, I do not know how old you are, but I have a teen-aged daughter, who would tell
you that the poem is the most important! But, I have an adult daughter, who must earn
a living as the CFO of a major international plastics company, and works some very
long hours! If you gave her a poem for a special occasion, then she would be very
nice to you, as she surveyed the room for someone who was not so naive!

Personally, I know that most American women have much difficulty seeing past the
dollar signs! It is our culture to make marriage a business venture! Women on the
lower end of the economic scale marry, have children, get divorced and live
financially secure until their children are grown. When we wonder why our kids have
so many problems today, maybe we should consider how we may have turned out if we
knew that the main reason mom kept us around was to be a paycheck! I, the man,
fought hard to get custody of my girls, aged 12 and 17 months when I got divorced.
and, my kids knew they were loved, because nobody helped me with a handout called
"child support!"

However, now that I am quite comfortable, and do not "need" any second income to pay
the bills and take a nice vacation, I would like to have a marriage partner that I
like, love and enjoy spending my time with! And, both my girls say that I deserve the
wonderful woman I have found!

It is much better than arguing about where we will get the money to pay the car
payments with! If you cannot afford to live without financial stress, I do not care
where your spouse comes from, you are going to have a tough time making it work!

Grow up!

Jim

william michael munc

Jim dude you have some serious issues ! haha I have money, looks, and child custody
of a son 14. If you had read my post you would have read where I wrote this has
nothing to do with our relationship. I suspect your women is in for a treat !

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Diane M

I think you've had some bad experiences with women. There is a difference between
wanting a man to be financially reliable, and wanting him just for a paycheck. I can
pay my own way in the world, but I wouldn't consider marrying a man who was unwilling
to work for a living. That doesn't mean I can't "see past the dollar signs". Most
women I know feel pretty much the same way, although there are a few who care a lot
about money - and for every woman I know who is money hungry, there is a man to
balance her. How many men do you know who don't want to drive their idea of a flashy
car (nowadays it may be a truck <g>), and be prosperous?

Diane M.

hotman54 wrote:
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Diane M

It depends on the woman and the situation. I prefer romantic words or caring gestures
to flashy gifts. A woman I work with (who is quite American, btw) brags that her
husband has to buy her a new diamond every time he does something wrong. Another
co-worker and I were discussing flowers recently - and how we both didn't like
receiving them because they were too expensive for something that won't last. Women
are the same everywhere in the sense that women are NOT all alike in any country, or
any place - we all have different ideas.

Diane M.

william michael muncy wrote:
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.

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I personally prefer something that shows, whatever is given, that he know's me. A
romantic poem, a surprise picnic and kite flying. You know money is nice, and gifts
that cost money are nice, but what makes my heart move is a gift that tells me he
loves me, he knows me and he wants to be with me. Those are my thoughts.

Karryl

hotman54

A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put
into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red
meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with
MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long term harm caused
by the germs in our drinking water."

"However there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or
will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and
suffering for years after eating it?"

A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake!"

Jim ))

XtrynytiX

For me, its the little things that count the most. A cup of tea in the morning
waiting as I wake up; a hug "because he needed one"; holding hands in public; getting
me the latest software so that my PC in England is like a little carbon copy of
his...... all the little tiny signs of affection that go to make up a nice whole.

Lots of money and expensive gifts are lovely but if I had to chose between gifts and
those little things, Id chose the little things. It shows that he is thinking about
me all the time.

Daftest thing ever was when we both sat by our PC's, 4000 odd miles away, listening
to the same radio station at his suggestion. Thats what makes me smile.

Its not what the gift is, its the effort that goes into it.

And lets face it - who wouldn't forgo any gift for the moment when he spontaneously
picks you up and says 'I love you'!?

Shawn Seabrook

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Drat, and I went to all that trouble to buy you a diamond. Oh well, back to the shop
it goes...

Shawn.