Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > USA > The Trailer Park
Reload this Page >

Moving to America despite hating it

Moving to America despite hating it

Old Aug 29th 2014, 4:37 pm
  #76  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Hotscot's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 6,159
Hotscot has a reputation beyond reputeHotscot has a reputation beyond reputeHotscot has a reputation beyond reputeHotscot has a reputation beyond reputeHotscot has a reputation beyond reputeHotscot has a reputation beyond reputeHotscot has a reputation beyond reputeHotscot has a reputation beyond reputeHotscot has a reputation beyond reputeHotscot has a reputation beyond reputeHotscot has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Thanks Bob...made a list...
Hotscot is offline  
Old Aug 29th 2014, 5:13 pm
  #77  
L2, GC, Surrey, OH, TX!
 
MsElui's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Surrey to Dallas (via Ohio)!
Posts: 6,363
MsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond reputeMsElui has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Originally Posted by TMR
Thanks for all the replies. So many views!

Yes she has a good job but mine (solicitor) won't transfer over there. I'll end up doing something else and this is another point of contention. Friends have moved to alternate careers though.

My concern remains that I'm just not suited to America. I feel thoroughly European at heart and unsure how I'll get on in a country that (as Psyman suggested) reacted so bizarrely to a tragic shooting. But as many point out NYC isn't so far removed from London in terms of culture etc. Maybe I'll enjoy it. I certainly don't want to bore you all on here with complaints.

Excellent point about her UK citizenship but I doubt she's willing to wait that long. We don't have kids yet.

Happy wife = happy life as they say. She would stay if I insisted, but I couldn't do that to her.
this sounds very 'stupid' but i really feel that day to day - its really not so different. Sure you modify things as you go along but they very quickly become the new norm and i can 'forget' sometimes, that i'm not in the uk. i wander around in my own little bubble and every time i go into a shop or someplace that i need to be 'served', people comment' i love your accent' or 'are you from England or Australia'. or something. half the time for the first second my mind is like 'What are they talking about'. And this is 7 years after we got here lol.

I too had to give up my career. I was a software team leader in the UK. i stopped working when we got here and had another kid and then stayed at home a few years. Then i went and got a new job in a totally new area to me and im thriving and loving it. I can seem to do no wrong there and they love me. So a career change is NOT always a bad thing either.
MsElui is offline  
Old Aug 29th 2014, 9:44 pm
  #78  
BE Enthusiast
 
fozzyb's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2014
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 388
fozzyb has a reputation beyond reputefozzyb has a reputation beyond reputefozzyb has a reputation beyond reputefozzyb has a reputation beyond reputefozzyb has a reputation beyond reputefozzyb has a reputation beyond reputefozzyb has a reputation beyond reputefozzyb has a reputation beyond reputefozzyb has a reputation beyond reputefozzyb has a reputation beyond reputefozzyb has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Originally Posted by TMR
My concern remains that I'm just not suited to America. I feel thoroughly European at heart and unsure how I'll get on in a country that (as Psyman suggested) reacted so bizarrely to a tragic shooting.

About 10 years ago the company where I worked in the UK wanted to open an office in the US. So 4 of us from the UK, plus our spouses and children, moved over to the US for a year to get things started.

One of my colleagues was really up for the challenge - but to say his wife was cold on the idea is something of an understatement - for much of the same reasons as you list in the opening post.

She was the quintessential English rose, very softly spoken girl from the home counties, always drank her tea from a china cup. Invite the vicar over for a scone. Got dressed up for dinner sort of lady. She hated the idea of heading to the country whose greatest culinary achievement is the beefburger.

It took her husband quite a few boxes of chocolates and bottles of expensive wine (*) to persuade her that it would be an adventure, it was just for a year, they would be back before she knew it. They just mothballed their home in the UK so they could come back at a moments notice if they wanted to.

As these things tend to, getting the office up and running took longer than we had planned, and the year in California turned into more like two, but eventually the time came to start getting ready to come home.

One couple really had enough of America and couldn't wait to get on the plane home.

Two families and one husband felt like we would quite like to stay another year or so - but our employer wanted us back in the UK, and wasn't prepared to keep on paying us to stay out there so we didn't really have a choice. But weren't too disappointed.

One lady absolutely dug her heels in. I am NOT going back. I like my life here. I'm staying. They ended up having find a different employer to sponsor them, quit his job, go through a lot of visa hassles getting changed from L1 to H1B but eventually got their greencards. And still live out there today.

If you'd asked me before we went I would have said she was the one least suited to America.

You may find you genuinely are not suited, you may find its nothing like as bad as you think. You just don't know until you give it an honest try.


(*) I don't know if its related to the bottles of wine, but about the time we got out visas through she discovered she was pregnant. Which did nothing to increase her enthusiasm for going.
fozzyb is offline  
Old Aug 30th 2014, 12:29 am
  #79  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
AmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Originally Posted by fozzyb
About 10 years ago the company where I worked in the UK wanted to open an office in the US. So 4 of us from the UK, plus our spouses and children, moved over to the US for a year to get things started.

One of my colleagues was really up for the challenge - but to say his wife was cold on the idea is something of an understatement - for much of the same reasons as you list in the opening post.

She was the quintessential English rose, very softly spoken girl from the home counties, always drank her tea from a china cup. Invite the vicar over for a scone. Got dressed up for dinner sort of lady. She hated the idea of heading to the country whose greatest culinary achievement is the beefburger.

It took her husband quite a few boxes of chocolates and bottles of expensive wine (*) to persuade her that it would be an adventure, it was just for a year, they would be back before she knew it. They just mothballed their home in the UK so they could come back at a moments notice if they wanted to.

As these things tend to, getting the office up and running took longer than we had planned, and the year in California turned into more like two, but eventually the time came to start getting ready to come home.

One couple really had enough of America and couldn't wait to get on the plane home.

Two families and one husband felt like we would quite like to stay another year or so - but our employer wanted us back in the UK, and wasn't prepared to keep on paying us to stay out there so we didn't really have a choice. But weren't too disappointed.

One lady absolutely dug her heels in. I am NOT going back. I like my life here. I'm staying. They ended up having find a different employer to sponsor them, quit his job, go through a lot of visa hassles getting changed from L1 to H1B but eventually got their greencards. And still live out there today.

If you'd asked me before we went I would have said she was the one least suited to America.

You may find you genuinely are not suited, you may find its nothing like as bad as you think. You just don't know until you give it an honest try.


(*) I don't know if its related to the bottles of wine, but about the time we got out visas through she discovered she was pregnant. Which did nothing to increase her enthusiasm for going.
AmerLisa is offline  
Old Aug 30th 2014, 12:43 am
  #80  
SUPER MODERATOR
 
Jerseygirl's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 87,988
Jerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

TMR...do you have children...or are you hoping to have children in the not too distant future?
Jerseygirl is offline  
Old Aug 30th 2014, 8:37 am
  #81  
TMR
Account Closed
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jul 2014
Location: London
Posts: 101
TMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
TMR...do you have children...or are you hoping to have children in the not too distant future?
No children yet but we're planning them soon. I'm sure being tied down with kids changes your perspective, but here I at least get 25 days leave + public holidays to do things with them.
TMR is offline  
Old Aug 30th 2014, 8:43 am
  #82  
TMR
Account Closed
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jul 2014
Location: London
Posts: 101
TMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Originally Posted by fozzyb
She was the quintessential English rose, very softly spoken girl from the home counties, always drank her tea from a china cup. Invite the vicar over for a scone. Got dressed up for dinner sort of lady. She hated the idea of heading to the country whose greatest culinary achievement is the beefburger.
Sounds like a US remake of Keeping Up Appearances Did she carry on that way in California?
TMR is offline  
Old Aug 30th 2014, 8:46 am
  #83  
Joined on April fools day
 
Beaverstate's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2012
Location: 30 miles from a decent grocery store.
Posts: 10,642
Beaverstate has a reputation beyond reputeBeaverstate has a reputation beyond reputeBeaverstate has a reputation beyond reputeBeaverstate has a reputation beyond reputeBeaverstate has a reputation beyond reputeBeaverstate has a reputation beyond reputeBeaverstate has a reputation beyond reputeBeaverstate has a reputation beyond reputeBeaverstate has a reputation beyond reputeBeaverstate has a reputation beyond reputeBeaverstate has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Originally Posted by TMR
No children yet but we're planning them soon. I'm sure being tied down with kids changes your perspective, but here I at least get 25 days leave + public holidays to do things with them.
There you go another negative. You haven't mentioned pollution yet, excessive military budget, questionable access to abortions (no problem if you stay in NYC)
Rednecks, fracking and many other reasons not to come.
Beaverstate is offline  
Old Aug 30th 2014, 9:01 am
  #84  
TMR
Account Closed
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jul 2014
Location: London
Posts: 101
TMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Originally Posted by MsElui
every time i go into a shop or someplace that i need to be 'served', people comment' i love your accent' or 'are you from England or Australia'. or something.
Of course every expat in the world gets queried on their origins, but doesn't it get annoying 24/7? While it rarely occurs in NYC, the last time it did I realised I was talking to a Portuguese lady.

Do Texans say the same thing to Mexicans I wonder?
TMR is offline  
Old Aug 30th 2014, 9:07 am
  #85  
TMR
Account Closed
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jul 2014
Location: London
Posts: 101
TMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Originally Posted by Beaverstate
There you go another negative. You haven't mentioned pollution yet, excessive military budget, questionable access to abortions (no problem if you stay in NYC)
Rednecks, fracking and many other reasons not to come.
London has pollution too. I'm personally supportive of fracking and there's a real debate here about it.

As for excessive military and abortion arguments, I did say US politics was entirely screwed up.
TMR is offline  
Old Aug 30th 2014, 9:23 am
  #86  
Ping-ponger
 
dunroving's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,001
dunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond reputedunroving has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Originally Posted by TMR
Of course every expat in the world gets queried on their origins, but doesn't it get annoying 24/7? While it rarely occurs in NYC, the last time it did I realised I was talking to a Portuguese lady.

Do Texans say the same thing to Mexicans I wonder?
It doesn't tend to happen 24/7, and even if it did it seems churlish to get annoyed at people saying they "love" something about you, don't you think?

The Texan/Mexican comment is just silly.

You really seem to have made up your mind that this move will be a disaster so overall my guess is nothiing we say is going to change your mind.
dunroving is offline  
Old Aug 30th 2014, 11:29 am
  #87  
 
Pulaski's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,397
Pulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Originally Posted by TMR
No children yet but we're planning them soon. I'm sure being tied down with kids changes your perspective, but here I at least get 25 days leave + public holidays to do things with them.
I get 28 days, plus 8 bank holidays. . Mrs P gets 23 days plus 8 bank holidays.

So far as my accent goes, and people asking where I'm from, it happens continuously to me. I have been here 12 years and I get asked anything from 3x/mth to 3x/ day, probably averaging 1-2/wk. I don't mind at all, in fact I'd be disappointed if it stopped, but when my accent apparently hasn't changed since I was 8 years old, when I left Sheffield, picking up nothing from 10 years in Glawster, nor 15 years in Landan, it's hardly likely to change now.

Last edited by Pulaski; Aug 30th 2014 at 11:32 am.
Pulaski is offline  
Old Aug 30th 2014, 11:40 am
  #88  
TMR
Account Closed
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jul 2014
Location: London
Posts: 101
TMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Originally Posted by dunroving
The Texan/Mexican comment is just silly.

You really seem to have made up your mind that this move will be a disaster so overall my guess is nothiing we say is going to change your mind.
Why? Both the British and the Mexicans are foreigners, and both have strong accents.

As for making my mind up, I haven't which is why I was canvassing (v helpful) opinions from those who've been there before me. I'm glad many of you had the same questions/fears and took the plunge anyway, with relatively few regretting it.
TMR is offline  
Old Aug 30th 2014, 11:42 am
  #89  
TMR
Account Closed
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jul 2014
Location: London
Posts: 101
TMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond reputeTMR has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Originally Posted by Pulaski
my accent apparently hasn't changed since I was 8 years old, when I left Sheffield, picking up nothing from 10 years in Glawster, nor 15 years in Landan, it's hardly likely to change now.
To be fair a Sheffield accent would really confuse them! Is it true they show The Full Monty with subtitles over there?
TMR is offline  
Old Aug 30th 2014, 11:48 am
  #90  
 
Pulaski's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,397
Pulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving to America despite hating it

Originally Posted by TMR
Why? Both the British and the Mexicans are foreigners, and both have strong accents. ...
Britain and America have a shared history and culture that goes back to virtually the start of colonization, that continues to this day, with British films and TV shows being by far the most popular/ successful imported films/ shows. Many Americans still have a great interest in Britain and the British, and many have British ancestors. .... The same is not true of Americans (unless presumably, they have Latin American ancestry) with respect to Mexican.
Pulaski is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.