Moving to America despite hating it
#77
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
Thanks for all the replies. So many views!
Yes she has a good job but mine (solicitor) won't transfer over there. I'll end up doing something else and this is another point of contention. Friends have moved to alternate careers though.
My concern remains that I'm just not suited to America. I feel thoroughly European at heart and unsure how I'll get on in a country that (as Psyman suggested) reacted so bizarrely to a tragic shooting. But as many point out NYC isn't so far removed from London in terms of culture etc. Maybe I'll enjoy it. I certainly don't want to bore you all on here with complaints.
Excellent point about her UK citizenship but I doubt she's willing to wait that long. We don't have kids yet.
Happy wife = happy life as they say. She would stay if I insisted, but I couldn't do that to her.
Yes she has a good job but mine (solicitor) won't transfer over there. I'll end up doing something else and this is another point of contention. Friends have moved to alternate careers though.
My concern remains that I'm just not suited to America. I feel thoroughly European at heart and unsure how I'll get on in a country that (as Psyman suggested) reacted so bizarrely to a tragic shooting. But as many point out NYC isn't so far removed from London in terms of culture etc. Maybe I'll enjoy it. I certainly don't want to bore you all on here with complaints.
Excellent point about her UK citizenship but I doubt she's willing to wait that long. We don't have kids yet.
Happy wife = happy life as they say. She would stay if I insisted, but I couldn't do that to her.
I too had to give up my career. I was a software team leader in the UK. i stopped working when we got here and had another kid and then stayed at home a few years. Then i went and got a new job in a totally new area to me and im thriving and loving it. I can seem to do no wrong there and they love me. So a career change is NOT always a bad thing either.
#78
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
About 10 years ago the company where I worked in the UK wanted to open an office in the US. So 4 of us from the UK, plus our spouses and children, moved over to the US for a year to get things started.
One of my colleagues was really up for the challenge - but to say his wife was cold on the idea is something of an understatement - for much of the same reasons as you list in the opening post.
She was the quintessential English rose, very softly spoken girl from the home counties, always drank her tea from a china cup. Invite the vicar over for a scone. Got dressed up for dinner sort of lady. She hated the idea of heading to the country whose greatest culinary achievement is the beefburger.
It took her husband quite a few boxes of chocolates and bottles of expensive wine (*) to persuade her that it would be an adventure, it was just for a year, they would be back before she knew it. They just mothballed their home in the UK so they could come back at a moments notice if they wanted to.
As these things tend to, getting the office up and running took longer than we had planned, and the year in California turned into more like two, but eventually the time came to start getting ready to come home.
One couple really had enough of America and couldn't wait to get on the plane home.
Two families and one husband felt like we would quite like to stay another year or so - but our employer wanted us back in the UK, and wasn't prepared to keep on paying us to stay out there so we didn't really have a choice. But weren't too disappointed.
One lady absolutely dug her heels in. I am NOT going back. I like my life here. I'm staying. They ended up having find a different employer to sponsor them, quit his job, go through a lot of visa hassles getting changed from L1 to H1B but eventually got their greencards. And still live out there today.
If you'd asked me before we went I would have said she was the one least suited to America.
You may find you genuinely are not suited, you may find its nothing like as bad as you think. You just don't know until you give it an honest try.
(*) I don't know if its related to the bottles of wine, but about the time we got out visas through she discovered she was pregnant. Which did nothing to increase her enthusiasm for going.
#79
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
About 10 years ago the company where I worked in the UK wanted to open an office in the US. So 4 of us from the UK, plus our spouses and children, moved over to the US for a year to get things started.
One of my colleagues was really up for the challenge - but to say his wife was cold on the idea is something of an understatement - for much of the same reasons as you list in the opening post.
She was the quintessential English rose, very softly spoken girl from the home counties, always drank her tea from a china cup. Invite the vicar over for a scone. Got dressed up for dinner sort of lady. She hated the idea of heading to the country whose greatest culinary achievement is the beefburger.
It took her husband quite a few boxes of chocolates and bottles of expensive wine (*) to persuade her that it would be an adventure, it was just for a year, they would be back before she knew it. They just mothballed their home in the UK so they could come back at a moments notice if they wanted to.
As these things tend to, getting the office up and running took longer than we had planned, and the year in California turned into more like two, but eventually the time came to start getting ready to come home.
One couple really had enough of America and couldn't wait to get on the plane home.
Two families and one husband felt like we would quite like to stay another year or so - but our employer wanted us back in the UK, and wasn't prepared to keep on paying us to stay out there so we didn't really have a choice. But weren't too disappointed.
One lady absolutely dug her heels in. I am NOT going back. I like my life here. I'm staying. They ended up having find a different employer to sponsor them, quit his job, go through a lot of visa hassles getting changed from L1 to H1B but eventually got their greencards. And still live out there today.
If you'd asked me before we went I would have said she was the one least suited to America.
You may find you genuinely are not suited, you may find its nothing like as bad as you think. You just don't know until you give it an honest try.
(*) I don't know if its related to the bottles of wine, but about the time we got out visas through she discovered she was pregnant. Which did nothing to increase her enthusiasm for going.
One of my colleagues was really up for the challenge - but to say his wife was cold on the idea is something of an understatement - for much of the same reasons as you list in the opening post.
She was the quintessential English rose, very softly spoken girl from the home counties, always drank her tea from a china cup. Invite the vicar over for a scone. Got dressed up for dinner sort of lady. She hated the idea of heading to the country whose greatest culinary achievement is the beefburger.
It took her husband quite a few boxes of chocolates and bottles of expensive wine (*) to persuade her that it would be an adventure, it was just for a year, they would be back before she knew it. They just mothballed their home in the UK so they could come back at a moments notice if they wanted to.
As these things tend to, getting the office up and running took longer than we had planned, and the year in California turned into more like two, but eventually the time came to start getting ready to come home.
One couple really had enough of America and couldn't wait to get on the plane home.
Two families and one husband felt like we would quite like to stay another year or so - but our employer wanted us back in the UK, and wasn't prepared to keep on paying us to stay out there so we didn't really have a choice. But weren't too disappointed.
One lady absolutely dug her heels in. I am NOT going back. I like my life here. I'm staying. They ended up having find a different employer to sponsor them, quit his job, go through a lot of visa hassles getting changed from L1 to H1B but eventually got their greencards. And still live out there today.
If you'd asked me before we went I would have said she was the one least suited to America.
You may find you genuinely are not suited, you may find its nothing like as bad as you think. You just don't know until you give it an honest try.
(*) I don't know if its related to the bottles of wine, but about the time we got out visas through she discovered she was pregnant. Which did nothing to increase her enthusiasm for going.
#80
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
TMR...do you have children...or are you hoping to have children in the not too distant future?
#81
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Re: Moving to America despite hating it
No children yet but we're planning them soon. I'm sure being tied down with kids changes your perspective, but here I at least get 25 days leave + public holidays to do things with them.
#82
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Re: Moving to America despite hating it
She was the quintessential English rose, very softly spoken girl from the home counties, always drank her tea from a china cup. Invite the vicar over for a scone. Got dressed up for dinner sort of lady. She hated the idea of heading to the country whose greatest culinary achievement is the beefburger.
#83
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Re: Moving to America despite hating it
Rednecks, fracking and many other reasons not to come.
#84
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Re: Moving to America despite hating it
Do Texans say the same thing to Mexicans I wonder?
#85
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Re: Moving to America despite hating it
As for excessive military and abortion arguments, I did say US politics was entirely screwed up.
#86
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
The Texan/Mexican comment is just silly.
You really seem to have made up your mind that this move will be a disaster so overall my guess is nothiing we say is going to change your mind.
#87
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
So far as my accent goes, and people asking where I'm from, it happens continuously to me. I have been here 12 years and I get asked anything from 3x/mth to 3x/ day, probably averaging 1-2/wk. I don't mind at all, in fact I'd be disappointed if it stopped, but when my accent apparently hasn't changed since I was 8 years old, when I left Sheffield, picking up nothing from 10 years in Glawster, nor 15 years in Landan, it's hardly likely to change now.
Last edited by Pulaski; Aug 30th 2014 at 11:32 am.
#88
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Re: Moving to America despite hating it
As for making my mind up, I haven't which is why I was canvassing (v helpful) opinions from those who've been there before me. I'm glad many of you had the same questions/fears and took the plunge anyway, with relatively few regretting it.
#89
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Re: Moving to America despite hating it
To be fair a Sheffield accent would really confuse them! Is it true they show The Full Monty with subtitles over there?
#90
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
Britain and America have a shared history and culture that goes back to virtually the start of colonization, that continues to this day, with British films and TV shows being by far the most popular/ successful imported films/ shows. Many Americans still have a great interest in Britain and the British, and many have British ancestors. .... The same is not true of Americans (unless presumably, they have Latin American ancestry) with respect to Mexican.