moi

I know that most people will not have all the answers but maybe you can offer at least some advice guidance.....
We live in NJ and my husband was laid off 4 months ago. He applied to some jobs in CT with a CT address (his mother's address-who would be fine with him there and lives on her own) because he would give him a better chance of CT job offers with a CT address.
BUT now I have started wondering about several different factors:
If he puts his mothers address as his permanent address on the application forms etc are there going to be any implications? He would stay there Monday to Friday and be home on the weekends in NJ.
I started wondering about how we would file joint taxes (federal and state).
Would he need to change his drivers license/car license plate?
Signing up for health/dental benefits - would that be an issue for me and the kids as we are in NJ (they are pretty big sized companies he applies for and are nationwide at least and they usually use big insurance corporations).
These are all work related questions.
I am also considering having my 12 year son stay there Monday to Friday and go to the Westport, CT middle school. There schools are rated in the top section in the nation compared to the very mediocre school he is at here in our town where I have had to pay for a lawyer to get him the gifted services he needed at his school. Would it be even possible for him to go to the school, if staying with grandma and dad during the week? He probably wouldn't be able to do sports during the week like he does now as no one to drive him, but he could still play the games in our town on the weekends.

So I would appreciate any advice/constructive critique. Or am I basically out of my mind? I just need my husband back at work to pay for bills and covered insurance so am willing to do whatever is necessary! Thank you!!

robin1234

I can have a go with some of your concerns. I did something similar twenty years ago. We lived and worked in MA, but I got a new job in NY in October 1995. My wife and children stayed in MA until July 1996 in order not to disrupt the school year, as my wife worked as a teacher and the children were in school.

It was a 350 mile trip so I typically went back to Boston for a long weekend once every three weeks or similar. I kept my car registered and insured in MA. I remained an MA resident so didn't attempt to get an NYS license till 1996. Essentially, my family home in MA was still my residence.

As for tax, MFJ is not an issue with the IRS, obviously. As for state, I can't exactly remember, but I think my new employer was able to keep my residence as MA, and they paid MA withholding? I could be misrembering though. I do know that the state side was no problem and I didn't end up paying extra tax, though.

WEBlue

The only part of your possible plan that worries me is your son attending the Westport public middle school while living with your husband in the grandparents' house. Some states (and CT seems to be one) have strict residency rules for both parents and children in their public school catchment areas.

Have you seen this page for Coleytown Middle School? I don't know if this is the particular Westport school you are looking at for your son, but the language about residency requirements would give me pause....

Residency - Coleytown Middle School

I do sympathize with your aim (of giving your son the best education possible) but I fear that Westport schools may possibly prove difficult in the implementation.

petitefrancaise

Plenty of people commute for their jobs.
Plenty of people also move back in with their parents. If they even query it at the school - I would tell them that it's for "personal reasons" and let them draw their own conclusions.

Good luck with it all moi. Fingers crossed for the job hunting.
xx

Nutmegger

I understand where you're coming from --- but this is a hot potato issue in CT, where people try to sneak into the top school districts. The OP could commute from NJ to CT for his job, so there is no reason to bring his son to CT for the week -- it would look very obvious that he is trying to take advantage of the school system. The residence requirements that WEBlue posted above for the middle school also apply to Staples High School -- indeed to all the Westport schools -- and are strictly enforced.

moi

Hi Nutmegger. The potential job would be 1 hour 50 minutes commute from door to door with no traffic. So the commute would wear thin pretty quickly. That would be the reason for my husband to stay in Westport at his mother's house. She actually rents the house from her son-in-law, who also lives in Westport around the corner and have 5 kids/cousins currently going through the Westport schools. Do you think that would make any difference getting my son in the middle/high school?

Pulaski

Like everyone else says, it completely doable, but the many points you raise a various shades of grey, with the issue of schools for your son being the most dubious issue.

But commuting across state lines, having "homes" in two states, sharing a home with your parents, vehicles used out of state while working, etc. are all very common situations and not really a major problem. And in your area (NY metro) there are many people who work in New York but live in CT.

In fact lots of people seem to leave their vehicles register out of state for years after they move. One of my former colleagues from Massachusetts worked "temporarily" in NC for 3-4 years and never reregistered her car in North Carolina, and this area is awash with cars registered out of state, far too many to be explained by rental cars and out of state students.

Jerseygirl

I don't think that would make the slightest difference. Schools are mainly funded by local property taxes. The higher the property taxes people pay...the better the schools are. You wouldn't be paying anything towards the schools in CT...why should your child be allowed to go there? Think of it that way.

Pulaski

But there is unlikely to be any legal reason that the entire family couldn't move in permanently with Moi's in-laws, which would have zero impact on how much property tax is paid on her in-laws home. .... I am not saying that sending her son to a school in Connecticut is "OK" either, just that arguing numbers (property taxes) doesn't give a clear answer either way.

Nutmegger

Taking the analogy further, it's like wanting to go to a private school without paying the fees. The folks in Westport pay a lot of money in taxes to maintain their school system, and consequently they vet attendance stringently.

Jerseygirl

True.

Nutmegger

A move by the whole family would obviously create a different scenario from merely taking the child to CT for the sole purpose of attending the CT school.

Pulaski

I agree, which is precisely why I said ".... I am not saying it's "OK" either"!

moi

As Pulaski mentioned, legally we could all move in with the mother-in-law (husband, me, 12 year old, 1 year old) and then legally he would be able to go to the school, even if we don't pay a dime in property taxes/rent etc. However, I rule that out for my sanity as I would kill my mother in law. Tried it a long time ago.
Understand where you are all coming from as I know my son's uncle/aunt pay a ton in taxes and are very rich.
Is this the normal standards for most schools? Or is just much more strict because of Westport's high ratings and high taxes?

petitefrancaise

Sorry, in my sleepy, not yet had a coffee state I thought you meant that you would go and live with m-i-l....

Since you've just got your son sorted out with the help he needs wouldn't it be better for you all to stay put until your OH has a job and you know for sure where you will be living?