Help with couth wife being uncouth at the dinner table
Dec 8th 2017, 10:00 pm
#61
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,439
Re: Help with couth wife being uncouth at the dinner table
Mrs P used to have the immensely irritating habit of shattering the dry spaghetti into a pan of boiling water, so that pieces were no longer than 3"-5". 
My protestations on one occasion were not welcome when her parents were staying, as "they expected spaghetti to be short pieces"!!!!! 
I live among barbarians!
My protestations on one occasion were not welcome when her parents were staying, as "they expected spaghetti to be short pieces"!!!!! I live among barbarians!
Dec 8th 2017, 10:07 pm
#62
Peace onion
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: Denver
Posts: 5,686
Re: Help with couth wife being uncouth at the dinner table
I feel you, Pulaski.
Incidentally, did you know that the hole in the middle of a pasta utensil is for measuring out a portion of spaghetti?
Incidentally, did you know that the hole in the middle of a pasta utensil is for measuring out a portion of spaghetti?
Dec 8th 2017, 10:57 pm
#63
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,382
Re: Help with couth wife being uncouth at the dinner table
Dec 9th 2017, 4:47 am
#65
`
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,611
Re: Help with couth wife being uncouth at the dinner table
Dec 9th 2017, 5:41 am
#66
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 392
Re: Help with couth wife being uncouth at the dinner table
HALP!
It's driving me nuts. I'm sure it's been done to death in Pet Peeves or TIO, but how can I convince my wife to use knife in dominant hand and fork in other hand, tines down?
She ignores her knife and does the cutting-with-the-side-of-the-fork, and then shovel fork tines up.
I guess I should be grateful she doesn't do the zig-zag/fork switch. I'm beside myself.
Any ideas how to get this lovely, elegant woman trained so she doesn't eat like a prospectin' miner from the San Francisco gold rush?
It's driving me nuts. I'm sure it's been done to death in Pet Peeves or TIO, but how can I convince my wife to use knife in dominant hand and fork in other hand, tines down?
She ignores her knife and does the cutting-with-the-side-of-the-fork, and then shovel fork tines up.
I guess I should be grateful she doesn't do the zig-zag/fork switch. I'm beside myself.
Any ideas how to get this lovely, elegant woman trained so she doesn't eat like a prospectin' miner from the San Francisco gold rush?
your bedroom schools where you attempt using the wrong tool for the job.
Dec 9th 2017, 3:08 pm
#67
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,367
Re: Help with couth wife being uncouth at the dinner table
Pygmalion.
Different variations on the final act of the play(s) though.
Good luck.
Different variations on the final act of the play(s) though.
Good luck.
Dec 9th 2017, 3:39 pm
#70
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,367
Re: Help with couth wife being uncouth at the dinner table
The original Pygmalion depicted the idea of the feminine as unattainable perfection (only the Gods could grant Pygmalion the perfect woman). Fast forward to modern interpretation --- women are whores who need to be cleaned up by a good man.
And we wonder why . . .
Last edited by Leslie; Dec 9th 2017 at 3:44 pm.
Dec 9th 2017, 5:46 pm
#71
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 13,103
Re: Help with couth wife being uncouth at the dinner table
Precisely. Get over it. She probably thinks you eat like a barbarian, wielding your knife in your right hand continuously even when not using it to cut anything. Put the knife down, we don't need protecting!
Dec 9th 2017, 9:11 pm
#72
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: bute
Posts: 9,740
Re: Help with couth wife being uncouth at the dinner table
Make her eat Downstairs, with the servants.
Dec 9th 2017, 10:09 pm
#73
Stand-up Philosopher
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Regina Saskatchewan
Posts: 16,344
Re: Help with couth wife being uncouth at the dinner table
I try to take inspiration from mafia movies and television where they have bowls full of spaghetti and big meatballs, sauce lovingly prepared, although I guess I was making that before I saw any mafia movies. Iirc there was a restaurant scene in The Valachi Papers but I don't remember the food, just the cop dipping his finger in the tea cup and wiping the wine on the tablecloth.
Dec 10th 2017, 5:05 am
#74
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 13,103
Re: Help with couth wife being uncouth at the dinner table
Update: I jokingly said I should send my wife to a finishing school to teach her etiquette and deportment.
Wifey still sees nothing wrong with not using a knife, but did some research and will be signing up for classes at an etiquette school in January. It's in Golden, Colo. She thinks it will be useful to her business.
On their curriculum:
Business and social etiquette
Dining skills
International Protocol
Corporate training
Job interview preparation
And SultanaofSwing, it's not about being "toffs" or "wannabes". It's about having standards and being civilized. Manners, etiquette, traditions, formality, discipline - these are all things that helped the British forge such a vast and beneficial Empire.
And some people do make judgments based on table manners. Watching some slovenly, ham-fisted baboon shoveling gruel into their mouth like a steamship stoker shoveling coal - bleurgh. I immediately make assumptions about that individual's background and intelligence. In the same way a dude-man-bro's backwards baseball cap takes 15 points off his IQ. And put away your condescension and moral outrage, Sultana. We all do it. Each and every one of us judges others whether we like to admit it or not.
Wifey still sees nothing wrong with not using a knife, but did some research and will be signing up for classes at an etiquette school in January. It's in Golden, Colo. She thinks it will be useful to her business.
On their curriculum:
Business and social etiquette
Dining skills
International Protocol
Corporate training
Job interview preparation
And SultanaofSwing, it's not about being "toffs" or "wannabes". It's about having standards and being civilized. Manners, etiquette, traditions, formality, discipline - these are all things that helped the British forge such a vast and beneficial Empire.
And some people do make judgments based on table manners. Watching some slovenly, ham-fisted baboon shoveling gruel into their mouth like a steamship stoker shoveling coal - bleurgh. I immediately make assumptions about that individual's background and intelligence. In the same way a dude-man-bro's backwards baseball cap takes 15 points off his IQ. And put away your condescension and moral outrage, Sultana. We all do it. Each and every one of us judges others whether we like to admit it or not.
Hopefully they'll teach her to stand up to you and tell you what an ass you are!
Dec 10th 2017, 7:46 am
#75
Heading for Poppyland
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: North Norfolk and northern New York State
Posts: 14,531
Re: Help with couth wife being uncouth at the dinner table
Back in England, I'm still eating American style. I don't typically eat steak (which would make a knife necessary..) Most food you can eat with just a fork, cutting meat with the side of the fork for instance. I have seen British people eat hamburgers, pizza etc with a knife and fork, that's weird...