Economic Models explained with Cows, 2008 update


SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks
the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd
multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire
on the income

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant
to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly
listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap
with an associated general offer so that you get all four
cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk
rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary
to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to
your listed company. The annual report says the company owns
eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to
buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with
nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The
public then buys your bull.


FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and
block the roads, because you want three cows.


JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth
the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the
milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called
'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for
100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five
cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop
counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge
the owners for storing them.

CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You
claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real
situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that
you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and
invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least
now you are part of a Democracy...

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close
the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

We are going to Obama cow economics

OBAMA CORPORATION
You have two cows. You support Obama, because you feel you need three cows despite not being able to afford 2 cows.

Obama takes away cows from cow owners more successful than you and gives them to you so you don't have to work harder to get more cows yourself

The top 10% most successful cow-owners get annoyed since they already give away 68% of all the cows in the entire economy because of Bush cow economics; and they realise BHO cow economics will **** them even more

Does Obama want the top 10% to provide 80%, 90% or even 100% of the total cows in the economy so lazy ****s can have more cows?