Possibly moving from London to LA. Scared, anxious...advice needed.
#1
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1
Possibly moving from London to LA. Scared, anxious...advice needed.
Hi everyone,
Nice forum. Glad I found it!
I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl from Los Angeles, for the past 5 years. We try to see each other 2-3 times a year. Often she would come to Europe, or I would go to the USA. Basically we'd up somewhere and spend some time. Obviously I've been to LA to visit her too. I've been 3 times.
It's got to the stage now where we can't just keep taking holidays to see each other. She has a full time job in LA, and I'm unable to lay down any roots here in London because I don't know if I'm even going to be here in the future.
Obviously me moving to LA is something I've discussed with my girlfriend. I'd like to, but I'm just really scared. It sounds so stupid, and I feel like an idiot. The lifestyle in LA is so different to London. I don't even have a car in London. I don't even have a driving license! In LA, if you don't have a car you're stuck. I don't know. Is it easy to learn to drive over there? I've never really been a car person. They make me nervous.
I've got so many more questions. So many more uncertainties. Whenever I bring them up with my girlfriend, she just gets upset and doesn't understand. I hope the people here understand.
Nice forum. Glad I found it!
I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl from Los Angeles, for the past 5 years. We try to see each other 2-3 times a year. Often she would come to Europe, or I would go to the USA. Basically we'd up somewhere and spend some time. Obviously I've been to LA to visit her too. I've been 3 times.
It's got to the stage now where we can't just keep taking holidays to see each other. She has a full time job in LA, and I'm unable to lay down any roots here in London because I don't know if I'm even going to be here in the future.
Obviously me moving to LA is something I've discussed with my girlfriend. I'd like to, but I'm just really scared. It sounds so stupid, and I feel like an idiot. The lifestyle in LA is so different to London. I don't even have a car in London. I don't even have a driving license! In LA, if you don't have a car you're stuck. I don't know. Is it easy to learn to drive over there? I've never really been a car person. They make me nervous.
I've got so many more questions. So many more uncertainties. Whenever I bring them up with my girlfriend, she just gets upset and doesn't understand. I hope the people here understand.
#2
Re: Possibly moving from London to LA. Scared, anxious...advice needed.
Welcome to the forum
My first question has to be - are you planning to get married???
My first question has to be - are you planning to get married???
#5
Re: Possibly moving from London to LA. Scared, anxious...advice needed.
You getting married then?
Otherwise your biggest issue would be the visa, I wouldn't even bother worry about a car, but lets face it, any old monkey can pass the test, so don't worry about it and get a GPS if your able to get here.
Read the wiki on the ways to get to the US for a starter
Otherwise your biggest issue would be the visa, I wouldn't even bother worry about a car, but lets face it, any old monkey can pass the test, so don't worry about it and get a GPS if your able to get here.
Read the wiki on the ways to get to the US for a starter
#6
Re: Possibly moving from London to LA. Scared, anxious...advice needed.
Hi
Barring something you haven't told us, the marriage question is on the top of all of our lists. You are going to have one hell of a time getting a visa, and if you are coming over to be with her, than your marriage is going to be on the fast track if you want to stay.
I think combining a marriage with a mega-move in the first year is something quite daunting. There are plenty of folks here who dove in head first, and probably a few who went back after things just didn't work out.
LA is a real culture shock, and you are right you will absolutely need a car. There really is very little way around that--it's something you're going to have to do. However, I think getting the hang of driving is going to be well down on the list of things that actually end up causing you stress in the first 12 months of living here.
This might be an odd approach, but you might take a gander over at this site:
http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?board=68.0
This is the homesickness thread for the American expats living in the UK. Take a look at some of those threads and see how just the little things, being away from friends and family and stuck in a foreign land (though not foreign to you) has driven many people to the point of depression and wanting to flee. This might be a good 'icebreaker' to use with your girlfriend--show her how hard it is for Americans who are 'in your shoes' of leaving your home country.
Barring something you haven't told us, the marriage question is on the top of all of our lists. You are going to have one hell of a time getting a visa, and if you are coming over to be with her, than your marriage is going to be on the fast track if you want to stay.
I think combining a marriage with a mega-move in the first year is something quite daunting. There are plenty of folks here who dove in head first, and probably a few who went back after things just didn't work out.
LA is a real culture shock, and you are right you will absolutely need a car. There really is very little way around that--it's something you're going to have to do. However, I think getting the hang of driving is going to be well down on the list of things that actually end up causing you stress in the first 12 months of living here.
This might be an odd approach, but you might take a gander over at this site:
http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?board=68.0
This is the homesickness thread for the American expats living in the UK. Take a look at some of those threads and see how just the little things, being away from friends and family and stuck in a foreign land (though not foreign to you) has driven many people to the point of depression and wanting to flee. This might be a good 'icebreaker' to use with your girlfriend--show her how hard it is for Americans who are 'in your shoes' of leaving your home country.
#7
Re: Possibly moving from London to LA. Scared, anxious...advice needed.
yes - first things first - you need to work out how you will legitimatly enter the country to stay and work. If your not going down the marriage route then in all likelyhood you have scuppered your chances (unless by some miracle your eligible for one of the working visas).
#8
Re: Possibly moving from London to LA. Scared, anxious...advice needed.
Obviously me moving to LA is something I've discussed with my girlfriend. I'd like to, but I'm just really scared. It sounds so stupid, and I feel like an idiot. The lifestyle in LA is so different to London. I don't even have a car in London. I don't even have a driving license! In LA, if you don't have a car you're stuck. I don't know. Is it easy to learn to drive over there? I've never really been a car person. They make me nervous.
I've got so many more questions. So many more uncertainties. Whenever I bring them up with my girlfriend, she just gets upset and doesn't understand. I hope the people here understand.
I've got so many more questions. So many more uncertainties. Whenever I bring them up with my girlfriend, she just gets upset and doesn't understand. I hope the people here understand.
Based on this post I would have to recommend that you stay in the UK. To be brutally honest you sound like a real wuss.
#13
Re: Possibly moving from London to LA. Scared, anxious...advice needed.
My alien fiance came to the USA (although not from the UK) on a K-1 visa. We got married here 4 years ago. He was 31 when he immigrated here, and did not have a drivers license. The cities he lived in never required him to drive, public transportation was abundant, so he never had the need to own a car or drive. He knew the how-to basics, but had never really put it much into practice in his life.
We live in Phoenix Arizona, but he works most of the time in Los Angeles, so he is there for a few weeks at a time. He still has not been able to get his US drivers license. Part of the issue is, he freezes up on tests...even if he knows the answer. It took him 3 attempts just to pass the written test, which he finally did and got his learner's permit. He could only practice with a licensed California driver, so he couldn't practice with me (I'm only licensed in AZ). He didn't know anyone in LA, so he hired someone to practice with him one day a week. Fortunately he is self-employed so doesn't need to drive to and from work...he found an apartment/workshop within walking distance of his clients.
OK, so the lifestyle here is so busy with work and earning money, it didn't leave him much time to learn to drive...so by the time he felt ready to take the road test, his permit had expired. It took him another 3 attempts to pass the written test again and get another permit so he could take the road test....which he still hasn't done.
When he wants to come back to Phoenix, he takes a cab to and from the airport. When we're in Phoenix, I do all the driving (which I don't mind). In LA, he rides the bus if necessary, and now he has a few friends who can give him rides to go grocery shopping and all that.
So not being able to drive in LA is a big hinderance, but I do understand your concerns and fears about it. Especially in LA, traffic is absolutely crazy and for a beginner, it's very daunting to maneuver the freeways and fast traffic on the roads over there.
Oh, and I agree with the others....you'll first need to decide on the visa you want to use to come here in the first place.
Best Wishes,
Rene
We live in Phoenix Arizona, but he works most of the time in Los Angeles, so he is there for a few weeks at a time. He still has not been able to get his US drivers license. Part of the issue is, he freezes up on tests...even if he knows the answer. It took him 3 attempts just to pass the written test, which he finally did and got his learner's permit. He could only practice with a licensed California driver, so he couldn't practice with me (I'm only licensed in AZ). He didn't know anyone in LA, so he hired someone to practice with him one day a week. Fortunately he is self-employed so doesn't need to drive to and from work...he found an apartment/workshop within walking distance of his clients.
OK, so the lifestyle here is so busy with work and earning money, it didn't leave him much time to learn to drive...so by the time he felt ready to take the road test, his permit had expired. It took him another 3 attempts to pass the written test again and get another permit so he could take the road test....which he still hasn't done.
When he wants to come back to Phoenix, he takes a cab to and from the airport. When we're in Phoenix, I do all the driving (which I don't mind). In LA, he rides the bus if necessary, and now he has a few friends who can give him rides to go grocery shopping and all that.
So not being able to drive in LA is a big hinderance, but I do understand your concerns and fears about it. Especially in LA, traffic is absolutely crazy and for a beginner, it's very daunting to maneuver the freeways and fast traffic on the roads over there.
Oh, and I agree with the others....you'll first need to decide on the visa you want to use to come here in the first place.
Best Wishes,
Rene
#14
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 16,266
Re: Possibly moving from London to LA. Scared, anxious...advice needed.
Hi everyone,
Nice forum. Glad I found it!
I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl from Los Angeles, for the past 5 years. We try to see each other 2-3 times a year. Often she would come to Europe, or I would go to the USA. Basically we'd up somewhere and spend some time. Obviously I've been to LA to visit her too. I've been 3 times.
It's got to the stage now where we can't just keep taking holidays to see each other. She has a full time job in LA, and I'm unable to lay down any roots here in London because I don't know if I'm even going to be here in the future.
Obviously me moving to LA is something I've discussed with my girlfriend. I'd like to, but I'm just really scared. It sounds so stupid, and I feel like an idiot. The lifestyle in LA is so different to London. I don't even have a car in London. I don't even have a driving license! In LA, if you don't have a car you're stuck. I don't know. Is it easy to learn to drive over there? I've never really been a car person. They make me nervous.
I've got so many more questions. So many more uncertainties. Whenever I bring them up with my girlfriend, she just gets upset and doesn't understand. I hope the people here understand.
Nice forum. Glad I found it!
I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl from Los Angeles, for the past 5 years. We try to see each other 2-3 times a year. Often she would come to Europe, or I would go to the USA. Basically we'd up somewhere and spend some time. Obviously I've been to LA to visit her too. I've been 3 times.
It's got to the stage now where we can't just keep taking holidays to see each other. She has a full time job in LA, and I'm unable to lay down any roots here in London because I don't know if I'm even going to be here in the future.
Obviously me moving to LA is something I've discussed with my girlfriend. I'd like to, but I'm just really scared. It sounds so stupid, and I feel like an idiot. The lifestyle in LA is so different to London. I don't even have a car in London. I don't even have a driving license! In LA, if you don't have a car you're stuck. I don't know. Is it easy to learn to drive over there? I've never really been a car person. They make me nervous.
I've got so many more questions. So many more uncertainties. Whenever I bring them up with my girlfriend, she just gets upset and doesn't understand. I hope the people here understand.
I avoid the legalities involved in moving to L.A. However, it IS possible to live in LA without a car. However, it often depends upon where one lives and where one works. Especially if one or the other is near the Red, Purple, Orange or Blue lines -- or perhaps near a "Metro Express" route. I often use public transit in lieu of my car -- it is often easier and cheaper.
Older daughter lives in the Eastern part of Pasadena about three miles from school. She most often uses her bicycle to go to her lab and back.
Younger daughter was sans car for about 6 weeks and she was surprised at how easy it was to use Metro. And even if she was going to friend some distance from Metro, she would take Metro to as nearby as she could get and they would pick her [cell phones are good things].
BTW, related to the legalities -- if you don't have lawful long term status, no driver's license is possible. For some strange reason, the legislature has decided that increasing the number of unlicensed and uninsured drivers is beneficial to the public. Go figure.
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 34
Re: Possibly moving from London to LA. Scared, anxious...advice needed.
Hi everyone,
Nice forum. Glad I found it!
I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl from Los Angeles, for the past 5 years. We try to see each other 2-3 times a year. Often she would come to Europe, or I would go to the USA. Basically we'd up somewhere and spend some time. Obviously I've been to LA to visit her too. I've been 3 times.
It's got to the stage now where we can't just keep taking holidays to see each other. She has a full time job in LA, and I'm unable to lay down any roots here in London because I don't know if I'm even going to be here in the future.
Obviously me moving to LA is something I've discussed with my girlfriend. I'd like to, but I'm just really scared. It sounds so stupid, and I feel like an idiot. The lifestyle in LA is so different to London. I don't even have a car in London. I don't even have a driving license! In LA, if you don't have a car you're stuck. I don't know. Is it easy to learn to drive over there? I've never really been a car person. They make me nervous.
I've got so many more questions. So many more uncertainties. Whenever I bring them up with my girlfriend, she just gets upset and doesn't understand. I hope the people here understand.
Nice forum. Glad I found it!
I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl from Los Angeles, for the past 5 years. We try to see each other 2-3 times a year. Often she would come to Europe, or I would go to the USA. Basically we'd up somewhere and spend some time. Obviously I've been to LA to visit her too. I've been 3 times.
It's got to the stage now where we can't just keep taking holidays to see each other. She has a full time job in LA, and I'm unable to lay down any roots here in London because I don't know if I'm even going to be here in the future.
Obviously me moving to LA is something I've discussed with my girlfriend. I'd like to, but I'm just really scared. It sounds so stupid, and I feel like an idiot. The lifestyle in LA is so different to London. I don't even have a car in London. I don't even have a driving license! In LA, if you don't have a car you're stuck. I don't know. Is it easy to learn to drive over there? I've never really been a car person. They make me nervous.
I've got so many more questions. So many more uncertainties. Whenever I bring them up with my girlfriend, she just gets upset and doesn't understand. I hope the people here understand.
Its great to hear that you and your girlfriend both have managed to keep such a long distance relationship going for so long now.
Try focusing on your decision to be together as your main goal. If that is what you want then one way or another things like transport or work will come together.
Thats not to say that you shouldnt plan these things, only that they dont need to be huge blocking points. And they dont need to be set in stone. Flexablity is always a good thing.
I can undestand how getting a car can be scary espcailly if you havent driven before. It maybe possible to work out a way that you wont need to drive. Or you could take lessons and find you really like it.
But as I say, deciding to move over here (to have a life together with someone) to me seems the much larger issue. And as others have said short of marriage or work would be the most difficult thing to do!
KK