lottie95

Hello! I'll start off by saying that i'm an 18-year old girl whose been living in Canada for the past 9 years. That is a long time, and yes, I would have been quite young when we made the move. Basically, my mum's marriage to my dad was falling apart, and she met a man online and they, er, fell in love, so to speak. About a year or so later, they both met and arranged to make the move. My mum was in her early fifties at the time, and with four children (including me, however two of them were grown-up already). It all happened quite quickly, and I have been living here in Ontario ever since.

Looking back, I would say that I "settled in" fairly well as a child, and made some good friends by the time I was twelve. However, for about the past two years i've felt completely the opposite. Canada does NOT feel like home to me, and looking back, I never did quite feel like I "fit in" and had the same values and ambitions as most Canadians. I feel extremely detached, lethargic, and miserable, thinking about my future here. I have been accepted to college for this September (i'll be 19), but this doesn't motivate me or make me any happier about living here. At first, I wondered if I were going through some sort of "phase" to be missing England so much - the thought of getting married and having children here still brings me no joy, even though my greatest "ambition" is to be a mother. I really don't know what it is, but I don't feel like I belong here.

So I know that the economy in England isn't great at all right now, and people will say that it isn't "a good place to bring up your children", due to the high poverty rates and so on. It's difficult to find a job, buy a house, etc. I'm wondering though; surely there must be some people who have been able to move back there successfully? I mean, I'm not married, I don't have kids, so it's not as if I have those factors tying me down here. I really feel as if I am in every way British, and am understood best by other British people. That isn't to say that I think Canada is a bad place, or that the people are no good here, (in fact the people here are very kind and friendly), I just don't feel as if it is for me.

I am open to any thoughts and advice! Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Sally Redux

I am in Los Angeles, USA but my daughter was 9 when we came and is 18 now.

She has enjoyed her time here but was keen to apply for UK universities when the chance came for us to move back this summer.

I think the economy, job situation and overall living standards are pretty good over there.

However, at 18 on your own it could be a bit daunting.

Could you have a 'study abroad' element on your Canadian college course? Do you still have any relatives in the UK?

lottie95

Oh wow, so for the same amount of time away then! I'm not crazy for missing England after living here all this time then (and from such a young age)!

Yes, I am keen to study and live in the UK as well. I agree, doing something like this alone at my age is quite daunting! The course I am enrolled in right now is a 2-year program. I was thinking that perhaps (if I am still feeling this way, of course) I could look into studying in the UK afterwards.

I do have relatives in the UK; my dad who I visit and stay with when I go over (usually about every year or more), my aunties, and cousins... And one of my older brothers who is living there right now (though he doesn't know if it's temporary or not).

dfjordan

England is not all bad. A lot depends on where you live and whether you have a qualification that is needed. I visit England every year to see my sister who lives in Essex. I've just come back and find it the same as before, ie no signs of poverty, houses selling within a week, with prices that havent gone crazy like in London. People have decent cars, eat out regularly etc. Adapting on moving to the UK depends entirely on your state of mind. You can moan and groan as is quite normal , or think positively and remember that perfection doesnt exist. Despite what you hear about lousy education, UK qualifications are still the most respected. OK if you go and live in a mainly muslim area etc, things will be different. At your age , you cant lose anything by going back, BUT you must get a decent qualification if you want to be employed.

lottie95

Thank you for your insight! Haha
I'm glad that not everyone is telling me that Canada is so much better than the UK. On my frequent visits back, I don't see signs of poverty all over the place, and there's so many nice areas! Just thinking about the last time I was over there, walking through the countryside makes me so sad.

Would you be able to help/tell me what sort of qualifications would get me on the best track? I think the course I have been enrolled in for college this September isn't transferable to the UK, but I don't know that for certain (Early Childhood Education). I agree, being young without the responsibilities of having a husband and child is the best opportunity to make a decision like this! x

Sally Redux

It sounds like you'd have a support network if you did go, then. Studying would probably be best, although you'd be classed as an overseas student and have to pay upfront fees.

I'd say do your best on this course and see how you feel later on.

Good luck!

I think adults sometimes gloss over children's feelings, so no you're definitely not crazy!

Pulaski

My own life experiences are different from yours, but perhaps comparable. At eight years old my parents moved our family from one part of England to another, philosophically if not literally, from one end of the country to the other (north to south west). As a child my accent stood out in the south west, and it never changed from the muted Sheffield accent I had already acquired; in fact it never really has changed despite the passage of several decades.

I had friends in our new home city, a few good friends, but I never really felt like I fitted in. Unfortunately, and this is where my story might provide some insight to your situation, on the occasions I went back north, including an abortive degree course, I found that I wasn't as "northern" as I thought I was, and northerners thought I was a southerner. I.e. I am now an outsider in both places.

I am not going to say don't go back to Britain, but I suspect, given that you left Britain as a child, you might not be as British as you think you are. You are probably neither fish nor fowl, a child of the North Atlantic.

I wish you luck in whatever you decide, but don't expect going back to Britain to be a panacea for all your angst and uncertainty, because much of that is part of transitioning from teenage to adulthood.

Snap Shot

If you go to college in Canada you will have a further education certificate. So, if you do go to Britain finding work might be easier.

You could go to Britain for a year to see how you find it when you have finished your studies. If you decline to go to college you might really regret it in a few years time.

You're not to young to know but you're old enough to learn.

If you go to England for an extended period to live and work there you will be better able to see what it's really like, day in, day out. It might not have the answers you are looking for, there again it might.

It could end up making Canada look attractive. Will you miss home ? For some people, that's the decider when they return to their home country. Do they want to stay or they can't wait to get back home to where they emigrated to. It's true when they say home is where the heart is. Although, hearts can move house too.

As Pulaski has said, it's part of the growing process. Questioning yourself, questioning your life.

I worked with a girl who's family moved to America from Britain when she was little. She retuned to Britain to work in her early twenties and stayed with her gran for a while. A clash of lifestyles meant she found her own place to live but anyway ! Within 18 months she had returned to America as she was missing her family there.

thistlehollyberry

A Canadian teaching degree would allow you to teach in the UK without the need for further UK qualifications. My son who has Canadian and Irish citizenship received an Ontario degree and is teaching full time in London UK. He signed up with an agency for supply teaching for the first year (they guarantee 4 days a week) and was then able to find a full time job.

Dorothy

Lottie, you have been asking about this for nearly 2 years now so I think that it's time you took a year and try living in England. Don't give up on everything in Canada, just take a study break and see whether England is what you really want. You're still young enough that if it doesn't work you haven't lost much.

Like Pulaski said, though, you may find that you don't actually "fit" there either. I know even as an adult I don't "fit" back in Canada anymore (I'm Canadian btw).

PootleK

Hi Lottie, can I just add to this. I assume that you're a dual citizen and so can come and go as you please to both countries? Then do it. You're very young, so you don't realise it yet, but life really is too short just to think about doing it. If you turn up in the UK and you hate it then there are numerous daily flights back to Canada.

If you want to go to University in the UK, then it's expensive as you'll be an international student BUT there are ways to make it cheaper. Studying for the first 2 years of a degree at an FE college will save you thousands. Go with your dreams and you'll find once you jump it's not nearly as scary as you thought it would be.

Best advice I ever received: Jump THEN course correct. If you work out all the tiny details in advance you'll never do anything.

Source: From a nearly 40 year old woman who wished she'd been bolder and less sensible when she was young. (so many missed opportunities)

dfjordan

I would strongly suggest that being so young and to be honest , unemployabke at the monent with no qualification to offer, that you study where you are, then go to the UK with your certificate under your arm, which as you will have seen from other replied, will enable you to get a job. If you find you dont like it there, you can always go back to Canada with your quailification

holly_1948

Feeling lost like that, I would try to defer my college entry for a year and take a year out. Perhaps go to Scotland or USA or better yet a foreign speaking place such as France. You should be able to get a job as an au pair child minder, just remember it's only for a year or until you get better insght into what you want to do in life.
Contact some au pair agencies. Native English speakers with even a little French will be sought after. Being (I assume) a dual citizen you do not need a work permit for France, just a British passport.
Oh, and if you do take an au pair job and the employers are horrible people (far too many wealthy people are exactly that) don't be afraid to just walk out. On the other hand you might strike it lucky and make wonderful lifelong friends.

Englishmaple

Lottie I would take a year out - if you do a course in Canada you may have education debt at the end of it and that may hold you back. And not all Canadian qualifications are automatically accepted in the UK either.

If you're going to do education, do something that your heart is in and because you want to do it - don't do it as a means to an end.

I still have the BEC National Certificate in Business Studies that my parents insisted I do on day release while working at 16 for the government. I hated every single sodding minute of it, got not particularly good grades (I had no aptitude or heart in doing accounting and other business related subjects at the time) and I've never used the bloody thing for anything!

I'm 50. When I was growing up, kids used to take a year out after A levels and then go on and do higher education. That year out matters - its a time when you figure out what matters to you. You don't have to go on some kind of glorious travel journey all over the place. You could go to England arranging some au pair stuff and take it from there - see how you find it.

18 is young enough to take a year out and do something like this. And if you don't like it, you'll have learnt something about yourself - so the experience won't be wasted.

I left school at 16 and worked until I was 21 before going to do my first degree (where I met a lot of people who hadn't taken time out and were doing a degree in a subject because there parents had told them to).

At 16 I was subject to a lot of adult pressure in terms of what I should do and I followed it until I couldn't bear to anymore (I left home at 18).

At 19 I started a nurses training course - I left after 10 months for a variety of reasons. The way people carried on you would have thought I'd ruined my life - and for a long time I thought I had (which is a huge burden for a young person to carry on them).

But over time I realised that its only through trying things that one learns what one likes and dislikes.

The Canadian culture - as far as I can see (I've just come back to UK) puts an enormous amount of pressure on young people to get it right first time - right qualifications, right networking, right job - it doesn't really encourage making mistakes. But it's our mistakes that make us!

I got my 3rd degree in 2012 and during the period when I was studying for it (2008 - 2012) I was just so aware of the stress that young people are under in the canadian educational system - its horrible! Between working several jobs, studying and going into debt for education - I really don't envy the young there.

I've ended up doing a lot of different things in my life and I really wish that I had followed my heart when I was younger - with the adults in my life I didn't get a chance to do that. But when you turn away from exploring who you are, you miss the chance to find out. Although I have more opportunity to have the life that I can have now and I make the most of the opportunities I can, its a different life from the one I would have liked to have lived.

You are smart enough to have found this board and posted this smart question. Therefore I think you're smart enough to figure out a way of taking a year out without overburdening yourself with debt. And at the end of the year, you'll have a better sense of what you want out of life.

BTW I got back to the UK last Friday. I've wandered around a town in Hampshire today and seen 2 ads for cleaning jobs (one early morning, one evening), ads for waiting staff and ads for elderly companions. When I was in London I saw ads for jobs there - there are jobs around - they probably don't pay that well and you'd probably need to string several together - but heck, you're young and you're canadian! That kind of work arrangement (multiple jobs) is built into the culture! Or, set yourself up with an au pair job and see how that goes.

Good luck whatever you do!

CDNtoUK

It's a tough one and of course you're not too young to know. My DH was born in the UK and moved to Canada when he was 7. He settled in well, went to university in Canada and in his mid-20's decided to move back to England. He lived in the UK for 5 years before moving back to Canada and 10 years later (i.e. now!), married and with 3 kids, we just made the move to the UK.

He says that he has never felt 100% British or 100% Canadian but a mixture of both.

Do you have Canadian citizenship? It may be a good idea to get it before going back to the UK just in case you ever wanted to move back to Canada again. You never know where life will take you!

Good luck with your decision!