6 Months Today and going back
#46
Re: 6 Months Today and going back
I was 13 too on that last move, it was just before my 13th birthday so I wouldn't say I was a "little kid" but the same age as the OP's. So if it's a matter of age that now precludes me from having anything valid to say on the topic or express an opinion then you're mistaken because it wasn't "quite different".
I was 9 and had just moved to middle school and had started to make friends with the kids there. Then at Easter my parents took us to live in Algeria!! We had to learn a new language as well as settle in a new country with very different customs. 18 months later we moved to a house in the east of France with no hot water and a toilet at the bottom of the garden!!!!
I stayed in France until I was 22 then moved back to England with my French husband.
During my whole time away I missed England on and off. I think mainly because the grass seemed greener!!
Different kids react differently and unlike you and I who were quite young when we moved for the first time these kids were teenagers with their circles of friends and their lives away from Mum and Dad.
13 was the LAST time you moved. In the case of the OPs kids 13 and 16 was the FIRST time. I would say that makes it harder. Also as another poster said all kids are different...
#47
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2011
Location: Coventry england
Posts: 157
Re: 6 Months Today and going back
Sarah - if you are still out there and haven't rushed to find the cooking sherry - as I would.....what does your 13 year old feel? How did the two kids feel prior to the move? We're they both against it before you came? If we took the kids out of the equation, how are you and your husband - if the kids were happy, would you be happy too? At the present I do a daily PR job on the joys of Canada, it's difficult moving kids, mine is the perfect age as he's in the last year of Primary, but I'm still nervous. I am sure many would appreciate your advice and experience.
#49
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 136
Re: 6 Months Today and going back
I've been here 3 years and am only just feeling like I have made friends of my own, most of whom are expats. No I'm not a school aged child (I'm in my late twenties), and I think it would be extremely difficult to fit in a new place so quickly, but OPs children have direct access to a multitude of friends right in the classroom...in a couple of years the oldest may be heading off to university, where they will have to draw on these friend making skills in the first few days in order to settle in...this can be seen as a learning experience.
I don't know the whole history of what's already been tried, but sports groups and other expats are a great start to finding friends. Might mean a lot of driving around as parents, but may be worth it if the prospects as a whole family are better here than there.
Just my thoughts...
I don't know the whole history of what's already been tried, but sports groups and other expats are a great start to finding friends. Might mean a lot of driving around as parents, but may be worth it if the prospects as a whole family are better here than there.
Just my thoughts...
#50
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2010
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 404
Re: 6 Months Today and going back
Yes it is hard and we can all sit and pontificate. My initial thought - fk me I wouldn't be dictated to by my kids - BUT that is MY kids, I know their ways and strops and wants and meeds etc.. I do not know the OPs and thus while I could say - hey try and do at least a yearn they may have compelling reasons to duck out at 6,moths..
#51
Re: 6 Months Today and going back
I am not saying they shouldnt - I am saying that no one can tell the OP how to react as she is the only one that really knows her kids -we can all sit and pontificate as much as we want - but each case is personal .
#53
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 44
Re: 6 Months Today and going back
That's what I was thinking. I don't mean to come across as callous or rude but I just don't understand why a whole family would move back because a child doesn't like something. Did you move to Canada because the kid wanted to? Seems strange to me. Kids have to learn the ups and downs of life - you can't, and shouldn't, protect them from every upset. Weren't you upset at something when you were a child? I bet you dealt with it and moved on. Same thing would happen here.
#54
Re: 6 Months Today and going back
That's what I was thinking. I don't mean to come across as callous or rude but I just don't understand why a whole family would move back because a child doesn't like something. Did you move to Canada because the kid wanted to? Seems strange to me. Kids have to learn the ups and downs of life - you can't, and shouldn't, protect them from every upset. Weren't you upset at something when you were a child? I bet you dealt with it and moved on. Same thing would happen here.
This isnt some kids two minute tantrum in the sweet shop, its been going on for a while....
Of course the fact that they are already gone and back in the UK makes further judgement a bit pointless anyway, but until you have walked a mile in their shoes and had to deal with the problems its hard to say what is the best thing to do.
#55
The Brit is back
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: NS, Canada 2007-2013. Now....England!
Posts: 2,211
Re: 6 Months Today and going back
Have they left already? lol
Well, let's hope they find happiness back in Britain
Well, let's hope they find happiness back in Britain
#57
Re: 6 Months Today and going back
So how many months of misery should they put up with then before they make a decision to try and make things better for their family?
This isnt some kids two minute tantrum in the sweet shop, its been going on for a while....
Of course the fact that they are already gone and back in the UK makes further judgement a bit pointless anyway, but until you have walked a mile in their shoes and had to deal with the problems its hard to say what is the best thing to do.
This isnt some kids two minute tantrum in the sweet shop, its been going on for a while....
Of course the fact that they are already gone and back in the UK makes further judgement a bit pointless anyway, but until you have walked a mile in their shoes and had to deal with the problems its hard to say what is the best thing to do.
#58
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2011
Location: Somewhere between Vancouver & St Johns
Posts: 19,849
Re: 6 Months Today and going back
I know its not very nice but do we have a thread for the quickest turnaround time?
#59
Re: 6 Months Today and going back
You are right, mistaken identity on my part, but the point remains, walk a mile in their shoes before coming over all judmental.
Based on the OPs posting this is not a flash in the pan. I think we all agree that giving it at least a year is the best plan, but sometimes thats not practical and you have to make the best decision for your own family under difficult circumstances.
Based on the OPs posting this is not a flash in the pan. I think we all agree that giving it at least a year is the best plan, but sometimes thats not practical and you have to make the best decision for your own family under difficult circumstances.
#60
Re: 6 Months Today and going back
You are right, mistaken identity on my part, but the point remains, walk a mile in their shoes before coming over all judmental.
Based on the OPs posting this is not a flash in the pan. I think we all agree that giving it at least a year is the best plan, but sometimes thats not practical and you have to make the best decision for your own family under difficult circumstances.
Based on the OPs posting this is not a flash in the pan. I think we all agree that giving it at least a year is the best plan, but sometimes thats not practical and you have to make the best decision for your own family under difficult circumstances.