Having a big clear out a few weeks back i found a note I had written on our first Christmas here, I was desperately missing seasons, people, atmosphere and struggling with the horrendous heat, I wrote 'will I ever get used to this'......

and NO, I didnt, ever

Christmas is not a lot of fun in Australia, no. Not for me anyway. It's a midwinter festival for heaven's sake, so putting in in the middle of winter is a good start.

At the endof the day it's your relationship and your life. Only you can decide what to do x

But that's also an 'ultamatum' and tells me that the issue is none other than a life changing decision point.

So it looks like both parties declared their (opposite) positions at the start. It's just that the relationship has got to the first crucial 'decision point' past which it might not survive. Some relationships get to this point, others don't. The point you make is that the relationship was in some ways doomed. All that has happened is that one party is exercising an interest in their position...it doesn't make them the baddie - the other person has the status quo as it is also the present situaiton.

Some relationships fail when one side wants children, the other doesn't even if this was signalled early on. Sometimes relationships just are not for the long term!