[Vitalstatistix]

Hello & to our friendly NZ forums Flaggerty. Now that you have 3 posts you will be able to receive & send Private Messages.

It is very difficult when you first arrive here & especially being on your own but it will get better. Take up all offers to meet up with people. You may not hit it off with everyone but we've all got to start somewhere . I can vouch for Teresa Green too. She & her OH used to live up this way & we miss them loads .

Hang in there

[BEVS]

Hi I moved here with my work in January to Welly on a five year work visa

Intriguing . Never , ever heard of a 5 yr work permit - ever.

more info please.

[Rosemary]

Originally Posted by Flaggerty Hi I moved here with my work in January to Welly on a five year work visa tied to my employer both my husband and household goods arrive about the same time at the end of this month. I've made no friends not for lack of trying and looking particularly pathetic, i had no probs on this front in the Uk, the people at work are polite but don't really want to know, I've joined a local club of a sport I loved to play in the uk but again not very friendly, I work, spend my weekends looking at the four walls and then work gain, I feel like I'm squatting as no furniture, no car as waiting for hubby to arrive, rented house has no heating but in a lovely Welly burb, am working all the hours under the sun but still not on top of it all, and according to some mangement not delivering, permanently bursting into tears and feel like wearing a sign saying please be my friend YET decided to apply for residency and put in my EOI next week for the draw the week after because Welly is stunning and residency would give me freedom of choice and share the load with my hubby as currently I sponsor him - anyone need a mechanical engineer technician who can fix trains and planes!? Sorry I know I'm venting but if it could go wrong since I got here I reckon it has but I'd really like to give it a go but miss having friends - sad I know.

I am not surprised at all about how you are feeling. You have changed so many things in your life in a short time and no matter how much you think that you prepare for these changes it is still stressful and daunting. You not only moved house but moved country, not only changed your job but again changed to a different country. You do not have your husband there to offload to and give you moral support when you are feeling low, you do not have your own things around you. How you are feeling is completely natural and you will gradually feel stronger in the job, feel more at home in the area and will make friends given time. Most people suffer from feelings of inadequacy and can be tearful when they change anything in their lives. The process of settling in is not easy but it sounds as though you are doing all the right things to find your feet.

You obvious love the area and do not regret making that change and are doing things that show that you want to make it your home in a more permanent manner. Once your husband and things are with you everything will start to come together for you and you will feel lighter and happier because this will make so much difference to you.

Why not spend some of the time sorting out in your mind where your things will go when they arrive. Plan trips out to show your husband what little gems you have found in the area. Making friends is not easy and cannot be forced but if you have never had a problem before there is no reason to think that you will now. Your confidence has taken a bit of a bashing so make sure that you acknowledge to yourself that you are still the same able person and that you can do the job or you would not have got it in the first place and concentrate on the important parts of the work and stop giving yourself a hard time.

Be kind to yourself, stop criticising yourself, give yourself a huge pat on the back for having the courage to move over without your moral support and above all try to relax and enjoy your new adventure.

Feel free to PM me for chats.

Rosemary

[BEVS]

As this thread is not just an Intro I am moving it into the main NZ forum.

[Bemused_and_bewildered]

Originally Posted by Flaggerty Hi I moved here with my work in January to Welly on a five year work visa tied to my employer both my husband and household goods arrive about the same time at the end of this month. I've made no friends not for lack of trying and looking particularly pathetic, i had no probs on this front in the Uk, the people at work are polite but don't really want to know, I've joined a local club of a sport I loved to play in the uk but again not very friendly, I work, spend my weekends looking at the four walls and then work gain, I feel like I'm squatting as no furniture, no car as waiting for hubby to arrive, rented house has no heating but in a lovely Welly burb, am working all the hours under the sun but still not on top of it all, and according to some mangement not delivering, permanently bursting into tears and feel like wearing a sign saying please be my friend YET decided to apply for residency and put in my EOI next week for the draw the week after because Welly is stunning and residency would give me freedom of choice and share the load with my hubby as currently I sponsor him - anyone need a mechanical engineer technician who can fix trains and planes!? Sorry I know I'm venting but if it could go wrong since I got here I reckon it has but I'd really like to give it a go but miss having friends - sad I know.

I know exactly how you feel! I been here just over a month and I always thought I was pretty independent, but I've come to realise how much I relied on my friends for support, comfort, sympathy and good times. Some days feel wretched if I don't manage to connect with anybody at work, but I guess you just have to keep chipping away. Whatever you do, keep smiling!

[Rosemary]

Originally Posted by Bemused_and_bewildered I know exactly how you feel! I been here just over a month and I always thought I was pretty independent, but I've come to realise how much I relied on my friends for support, comfort, sympathy and good times. Some days feel wretched if I don't manage to connect with anybody at work, but I guess you just have to keep chipping away. Whatever you do, keep smiling!

Hello and a big welcome to BE.

Excellent information can be found in the BE Wiki, not forgetting the Living and Moving Abroad forum that will help you, another set of great help is the permanent threads at the TOP of each forum, they are very pertinent to that particular forum and makes sensible reading.

Moderators deal with any problems that arise such as inappropriate posts, spammers etc, you will find their names at the bottom right hand side of each forum's index in bold font.

Please contact me if I can give you any further help.

Rosemary